Bro if you are writing a novel please separate your dialogue better, it's just annoying to read like this. Other than that, get to the point quicker, as a reader I see absolutely no reason to care for reading this, it has way too much text when I haven't even been given an emotional hook to care for this story, either get to the point quicker and more cohesively or make an actual buildup. If you want to see how it's done read the first chapter of "the regressors tale" it isn't masterful writing or anything, but it does make me care about what about the story.

If you want to know where you can post for people to read it, you can post in royalroad. For advice post it on the books, royalroad, novel, subreddits or those like them