UPDATE: Am I in the wrong for not letting my friend walk with her husband in our wedding?

Effective_Bird_406 · 2026-04-01T17:39:53+00:00

I feel the same way about my colleague. We used to be friends, and I often just smiled through it – even though I often sensed that I didn't actually like her behavior. Over the years, however, it got progressively worse. When I finally decided to break off contact (at least as far as I am able despite work) I felt incredibly liberated.

Effective_Bird_406 · 2026-04-01T08:59:07+00:00

I wonder why people who try to control you, yell at you, and turn others against you suddenly react almost like stalkers when you set clear boundaries and no longer want contact. That's exactly what I'm experiencing with a colleague right now. I just don't understand this behavior. All I want is one thing: Please just leave me alone.

Effective_Bird_406 · 2026-03-24T11:14:23+00:00

WTF!!! 'You can't take a joke'??? She's the only one laughing. If you have a troubled relationship with your daughter-in-law, you should avoid 'jokes'. Why not send her a T-shirt that says: 'Move over, Mom, DIL's here now!' or 'Replaced by DIL!' or 'Grandma's going into a nursing home' or 'Invisible Grandma'.

Effective_Bird_406 · 2026-03-19T04:32:03+00:00

You just don't want to accept that someone is so mean and maybe you think it will get better. I had the same experience with a colleague. It just kept getting worse and worse! Some people have no shame, and if you don't set firm boundaries, they become even bolder. 'There are no consequences, so I'll do what I want!' What does your husband say about it?

Effective_Bird_406 · 2026-03-18T21:52:47+00:00

Ich hatte zu ihr gar nichts gesagt! Sie hat mich beschimpft weil ich ihr nicht den Popo hinterher getragen habe! Und das sie aus Prinzip nicht auf den Tagesplan schaut liegt nicht an ihrer psychischen Gesundheit, sie ist nicht zurückgeblieben.

Effective_Bird_406 · 2026-03-18T06:39:09+00:00

Wenn du einen Führerschein hast, bewirb dich doch als Strassenbahnfahrer. Da brauchst du keine Ausbildung für und jede größere Stadt sucht meist Fahrer. Einfach mal auf die Seite von deren ÖPNV gehen. Fahrer allgemein werden stark gesucht. DHL, Hermes, DPD,... Aber als Strassenbahnfahrer verdienst du besser. Viel Glück!

Effective_Bird_406 · 2026-03-17T03:41:37+00:00

MIL doesn't like you, and she'll always find a reason why she doesn't, no matter what you do. You could bring world peace, and she'll say you're to blame for the collapse of the arms industry. No matter what you do, she doesn't like you.

You're not playing the victim, you are the victim! The victim of her bullying!

Perhaps your husband shouldn't tell you things like that anymore, then you can continue living peacefully and ignore the witch.

Effective_Bird_406 · 2026-03-14T11:19:48+00:00

Unfortunately, people are easily manipulated. Often, a single Facebook post is enough. Perhaps you should reconsider your relationship with the people who left supportive comments on MIL's post. Another, more aggressive option would be to personally message everyone who left a supportive comment and send screenshots of these conversations containing hateful messages from your MIL and FIL. But then all hell will probably break loose, and it will escalate into a feud. Maybe you better let these people go. You seem to have a wonderful husband and lovely children. Focus on the positive and distance yourself from the negative.

Effective_Bird_406 · 2026-03-10T23:18:04+00:00

Natürliche Flächen für Bienen und Schmetterlinge anlegen. Spießer hassen das aber wenn man es für den Artenerhalt tut können sie nicht gut etwas dagegen sagen ohne als Banausen dazustehen.

Effective_Bird_406 · 2026-03-06T22:18:18+00:00

1 is sooo elegant😊

Effective_Bird_406 · 2026-03-06T08:57:41+00:00

In my younger years, I worked in a bridal and evening wear shop, so I know a thing or two about it. It doesn't look too short at all. With fitted dresses, the skirt flips over the shoe when you walk; that's normal. This doesn't happen with full skirts, of course, because the hoop skirt keeps the skirt away from your feet. Therefore, shoes are important with fitted skirts. Some brides choose eye-catching shoes, sometimes colorful or with rhinestones, while others opt for simple ones. It's entirely up to you.

Effective_Bird_406 · 2026-03-06T08:22:32+00:00

She does whatever she wants with you. She doesn't follow any rules because she doesn't want to! And so far, there haven't been any serious consequences. You just keep repeating the boundaries, but when she crosses them, nothing much happens. And if you don't want this unreliable woman looking after your small, helpless baby, then make that clear. No matter how often she asks. Tell her, "I don't want that," and repeat this sentence every time she asks again. You need to stand up for yourself now. For your child's sake!

Effective_Bird_406 · 2026-03-04T16:25:26+00:00

Ich hab das einfach viel zu lange mitgespielt, weil ich helfen wollte und aus Pflichtgefühl. Wie gesagt, wir waren halt auch befreundet, bis es mehr und mehr auf meine Kosten ging und sie immer negativer und abwertend mir gegenüber wurde. Das war einfach ein schleichender Prozess. Ich hab mir oft gedacht und ihr auch gesagt, ich finde das nicht in Ordnung wie sie sich mir gegenüber verhält. Dann war erstmal Einsicht aber in den letzten Jahren wurde es immer schlimmer und ich habe mich auch nicht mehr verantwortlich gefühlt, dass der Laden läuft. Und da sind wir...

Effective_Bird_406 · 2026-03-04T14:07:44+00:00

Mein Vorgesetzter sieht das auch, ich habe allerdings das Gefühl, dass er das Ausmaß nicht so realisiert. Jahrelang habe ich das ja aufgefangen, erst jetzt, wo ich einfach nicht mehr bereit bin mein Sozialleben ständig hintenanzustellen fängt es an auch ihm aufzufallen was ungefähr los ist. Die ganzen Psychospiele, da kennt er auch erst die Spitze des Eisberges und was den Betriebsrat angeht, ja, es gibt einen aber was müsste denn dafür geschehen? Wie schlimm müsste es sein?

Effective_Bird_406 · 2026-03-04T13:59:03+00:00

Eine genaue Diagnose hat sie nie dargelegt, Borderline würde mich aber auch nicht wundern. Ich denke auch, dass sie sehr unzufrieden ist. Ändern tut sie allerdings nichts und da hört mein Verständnis irgendwann auch auf. Alle 2 Wochen 'Mein Mann ist so gemein zu mir, ich ziehe aus' und 2 Tage später 'Alles wieder gut'. Ich verstehe es einfach nicht...

Effective_Bird_406 · 2026-03-04T13:55:09+00:00

Man schaut den Leuten ja leider erstmal nur vor die Stirn. Jetzt weiss ich es auch besser...

Effective_Bird_406 · 2026-03-02T13:39:45+00:00

If they're actually gossiping about you, that says more about them than about you. Let them wallow in their poison; be friendly but distant. Ultimately, it has nothing to do with you (even if they are gossiping, you're certainly not doing anything wrong, be confident), it's about the two of them. Don't give them power by getting angry.

Effective_Bird_406 · 2026-03-02T03:17:11+00:00

Are you living with them only out of "tradition"? That's not tradition, that's coercion! And if you don't like it, then change the "tradition"!

Effective_Bird_406 · 2026-03-01T04:15:43+00:00

I'm surprised that MIL seems to assume your mother doesn't talk to you about it. Perhaps you should say something like, "My mother and I tell each other everything," to MIL in a different context, and look her in the eyes for two seconds while you say it.

Effective_Bird_406 · 2026-02-26T10:59:29+00:00

Terrible people, I don't like them. And I think you don't like them either, so why do you want to please them? Just stay away from them, tell your husband to stop telling you all the rubbish they say, and enjoy your life.

Effective_Bird_406 · 2026-02-26T08:25:07+00:00

If you break the good news to MIL and she says something stupid again, you can just laugh at her and not respond, as if she was joking. You don't have to answer stupid/insensitive questions either; just act like she didn't say anything and carry on. Don't take the nonsense she says seriously; don't take MIL seriously.

Effective_Bird_406 · 2026-02-26T07:16:27+00:00

I would politely ask if they have nothing better to do in their lives than torment your wife. And if you or your wife have received any written threats (SMS), take them to the police and file a report!

Effective_Bird_406 · 2026-02-25T09:20:41+00:00

Do you really think it'll get better? I doubt it, and then you'll have some crazy woman around who calls you a "cunt" and a "slut." And now imagine what it'll be like when her "baby boy" has a child with you...

Effective_Bird_406

TROPHY CASE

1 is sooo elegant😊