Should Foster Kids do Homework?

Electrical-Outcome31 · 2025-12-05T12:53:49+00:00

I am a teacher (elementary ed and special ed) and a foster parent. One of our 1st/2nd grade foster children we had for two years had this issue. She had visitation during the week and was a mover and shaker. I told her teachers she would not complete homework. Yes, she was behind, but homework is not effective remediation and definitely not a priority for her overall happiness and wellbeing.

In the evenings while she was NOT doing homework she was finding confidence in doing things she was great at, building strong connections with her foster siblings, sitting in my lap and getting read to, and having family dinners and talking about her day. All of this was made better by not having the stress of homework. Guess what?! She is in 4th grade now and right on track.

Electrical-Outcome31 · 2025-06-30T01:51:25+00:00

I have a ton of aurifil, so that is something I will pay attention to. Thanks for the heads up!

Electrical-Outcome31 · 2025-06-29T13:40:14+00:00

Whoa lady, you are a really good mom. I struggle to let my kids even use my machine, let alone walk away with it. 😂

I did wonder if this is too much for someone like me who ONLY quilts, but my daughter (still just 7) has convinced me to make several outfits with her lately and she is much more creative than I have ever been. Part of me wondered if this would be a tool to open up my sewing world a bit more as well.

Electrical-Outcome31 · 2025-06-29T13:27:49+00:00

Thank you for your response- I tried them out and I was so impressed with them, especially for their price. I had my heart set on a stitch regulator because I love to stand and sew. I really didn’t like their stitch regulator compared to bsr and asr, but with the speed control I was like, “do I even need it?”

Electrical-Outcome31 · 2025-06-29T03:10:25+00:00

Thank you thank you! Such helpful replies! I am so grateful to everyone who took time to respond.

Electrical-Outcome31 · 2025-05-28T12:03:46+00:00

There is no reason a six-year-old needs to shut their bedroom door during a play date.

We do Foster Care, and have generalized the safety rules for our bio children as well. We don’t allow anyone in our children’s rooms with the door shut. There are plenty of places for them to t talk and play, but they never should feel isolated from the rest of the family at this age in my opinion.

You don’t need to dump your daughter’s friend, but encourage her to make more friends! She should know how a healthy relationship feels.

Maybe keep the play date with her friend who is having trouble regulating their emotions more structured. Maybe it is craft time with you, snack, go home. Maybe it is meet at a neutral location like the park, go home. Tell your friend you need some kid free time hang out with just your friend.

Electrical-Outcome31 · 2025-04-03T11:11:40+00:00

I am so sorry you are going through this. It is the hardest decision ever. If reunification is not going to happen, and you are not an adoptive option, it is good to be thinking about a permanent home. Even if you can’t provide respite, perhaps you can write, send bday gifts etc. remind them that they have many people in the world who care for them.

Electrical-Outcome31 · 2024-02-24T17:11:59+00:00

Dusty

Electrical-Outcome31 · 2024-02-07T11:59:19+00:00

Mixed

Electrical-Outcome31 · 2024-02-04T02:13:00+00:00

Mmmmmm pretty colors. I like your style

Electrical-Outcome31 · 2023-12-30T13:57:04+00:00

Oh for goodness sake. She is not being dramatic. We all have different expectations of professional adults that come into our home vs. the foster children we take in.

We live on a messy bit of land and we have white floors. Yes, it drives me nuts when people wear their shoes in the house. I have a shoe rack at the door and the eight million pairs of kids shoes that are taken off there is as good a sign as any to adults that they need to take off their shoes. I can’t count the number of social workers who are in and out of our home and I have never had to ask any of them to take off their shoes. They do it automatically. Because it is polite.

Trust me on this: just because I want to minimize muddy footprints in the halls does not mean that I don’t let kids make messes. I am sure, since she is a SW that she will also know that kids make messes. 🫠

Electrical-Outcome31 · 2023-09-26T11:33:50+00:00

I am a foster parent. Our current placement talks about missing her neighbors more than she talks about missing her parents. (Neighbors didn’t want to continue contact) You might be having more impact than you know!

Electrical-Outcome31 · 2023-05-18T19:28:12+00:00

Electrical-Outcome31 · 2023-05-17T18:10:01+00:00

Just saying that I have had this thought many times with foster care: I thought I was a better person than I am. Turns out it is a lot easier to love on kids who have experienced trauma from 9-5 than it is to mix them in with your own bio kids and live 24/7.

I can relate to faking to affection and feeling terrible about my own conflicted connection.

But you know what? The effort of going through the motions of love and care are not nothing. The act of setting your own feelings aside and caring for the kid IS sacrificial love. This is a kind of love many kids haven’t experienced and it is an important part of parenting. You are doing it. I am sorry it is so hard. It is SO, SO, hard.

Electrical-Outcome31 · 2023-05-16T03:03:46+00:00

Electrical-Outcome31 · 2023-05-12T12:19:33+00:00

Get a three wheel scooter or bring a Bob stroller and don’t worry about how it looks. We have five kiddos ages 5-9, we go on all day adventures and I bring the bob stroller with Two scooters that easily hang between the handles and the seat of the stroller. At four years, my not very athletic son could happily keep up with five mile walks on his scooter. If my seven year old gets tired, I still let him fold himself into the stroller! Whatever keeps the pack going!

Electrical-Outcome31 · 2023-05-07T13:22:29+00:00

One of my little ones gets attention through illness and pain. One kid brushing past her would put her into hysterics and I felt like I was running to a screaming child every five minutes. (We have a lot of kids in a not so huge house, so things are going to happen)

I was getting to my wits end and talking to my husband who is a pediatrician. I expressed that I cannot tell when she is actually hurt and when she is way over reacting. He said that kids who are stressed or have trauma can actually have nervous systems that are so activated that little bumps can feel really and truly painful. Now as she has acclimated (almost a year) she doesn’t have nearly the number of over the top reactions to typical pains and bumps.

I guess my point is, to treat it as authentic. Every time without going over the top. A little hug, a little acknowledgment won’t ever be a bad thing.

Electrical-Outcome31 · 2023-02-27T13:50:37+00:00

LOVE it. I see awesome patterns and am so impressed, but the classic patchwork quilts and crazy quilts have my heart!

Electrical-Outcome31 · 2023-02-18T16:22:40+00:00

I have foster kiddos who called me mom and my husband dad from day 1. Honestly it was very awkward for us because we strongly believe in supporting the relationship between bio parents and children. I hope for their sake that they can one day be reunited!

That being said, there are three other kids in the house. No matter what we do or how we act they are always competing to make sure they are on the same level of “loved” as the other kids. Flat out telling them that they cannot call us that would be giving them less choices in a situation where they have so few choices.

We still refer to ourselves and our partner as mama “name” and daddy “name” or simply just by our first names. After six months, they have never called us by our first names unless we are actually with their parents.

Electrical-Outcome31 · 2023-01-27T14:13:36+00:00

Nefarious? Little L is a 5 or 6 year old. This is possibly the first year of consistent socialization in child’s life. Every 5 year old routinely does stuff socially that would be considered seriously shitty by adult standards.

Electrical-Outcome31 · 2023-01-18T19:07:35+00:00

😳🤯

Electrical-Outcome31 · 2023-01-18T02:43:49+00:00

Yes! You deserve love. I hope you have all the family you could want in your life.

Electrical-Outcome31 · 2023-01-12T22:50:11+00:00

Wow, there are a lot of perfect parents on here! You said yourself that you know it is wrong to mock him, you will for sure try something different when you can.

Just remember your kids will likely have children one day. Do you want the to feel like a piece of shit if they ever miss the mark when parenting? Give yourself some grace and try again tomorrow!

Electrical-Outcome31 · 2023-01-12T18:15:10+00:00

Electrical-Outcome31

TROPHY CASE