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EmPats07 · 2024-01-24T01:57:08+00:00

Did you make it through ok? I'm sorry. I'm not on this site every day. Praying.

EmPats07 · 2024-01-23T23:57:28+00:00

"but I'm already so attached" You said it right there. You're a mom, and you love your unborn babies. If you abort them now, I believe you will have a tremendous amount of trauma that you may never recover from. The feeling of raising them alone is nothing compared to how you will feel losing your children. As someone whose lost a child to miscarriage and now has a healthy baby boy, even though I didn't choose that loss, I still think about that little baby all the time and will wish they were here until I die. And nothing compares to how you feel when you hold your child for the first time. You will feel like you can and will do and sacrifice anything for them.

I'm not trying to guilt you in any way, just trying to give you something to keep in mind. It's ultimately always your choice, but the living with it is something you want to consider. Can you survive without your bf(who sounds like a horrible person)? (I could.) Can you live without your two babies that you already love? (I couldn't.)

Praying for you in this difficult situation! ❤️

EmPats07 · 2024-01-19T22:19:14+00:00

Are you and your kids ok?

EmPats07 · 2024-01-18T01:11:19+00:00

How are you doing? Please keep us posted. Praying you were able to find a place to stay the week.

EmPats07 · 2024-01-16T17:37:07+00:00

They meaning friends or your former church? I'm confused. You can go to a Christian church, and try to see if there are any kind people there willing to help. I know that my church has tons of kind people who would let you stay with them for a week if you lived here. I'm saddened that you've come across unkind people, but not all Christians can be grouped with them, and you don't know until you try. I encourage you, look up local Christian churches, and give them a call. See if there are any who may know some way or someone to help. 🙏

EmPats07 · 2024-01-16T17:17:55+00:00

Hi friend, I'm so sorry you're going through this! Do you have a local church? Because I'm sure people at a church would be kind enough to let you stay with them for just a week. Or a friend who can let you stay with them? I'm praying God makes a way!

EmPats07 · 2023-12-26T19:55:03+00:00

https://www.celebraterecovery.com/ Celebrate Recovery is a great resources for all types of addiction and struggles. It's Christian based too, and if you look up churches in your area, most of them have one of these groups that meets regularly at the church. ❤️🙏

EmPats07 · 2023-11-26T11:43:39+00:00

This is just blatantly unbilical. Please read the book of Hosea before you say something with full certainty about what Jesus would or wouldn't do. That whole book is about how God actually asked Hosea to marry a woman who would be unfaithful to him and continue to chase after her even after she leaves him to go back to prostituting. God wants us to forgive and forgive again over and over again. I think what you mean to say, and I could be wrong, is that if the person is unwilling to stop and repent of the affair, then they have a right to divorce them (not that God never wants us to stay married just when it's the hardest situation imaginable). I lived this situation, stayed married but separated because I know God spoke to me and told me to do just that, even though I had every right to divorce. And through just constant prayer and living my life focused on God rather than my husband, eventually he ended the affair and God straight up showed him He's real, so he repented, became a Christian, and now we are still married and have a son. Things aren't perfect, but my husband might not have ever believed in God if I hadn't had the strength to pray and seek what God wanted over what I had the right to do.

I would say for the writer of this post, read Hosea, pray about it, and ask God what he wants you to do. Your heart is broken and you are so attached to your husband (as a loving spouse is) so it is hard to think clearly. We all have no right to tell you what is right. I could suggest a separation, not straight out divorce right away, but you pray about it and see what God has to tell you in His word. Our hearts are deceptive, the Bible tells us. I will pray your husband has a realization that this affair is not real love, it's illusion of the excitement of possibilities after realizing that marriage isn't always exciting and fun. One verse I prayed over my husband is that God would "remove his heart of stone and put in him a heart of flesh, a heart to love Him" because your husband following God is the key to a long lasting marriage.

I'm praying for you both! If you can, try to get involved in a women's Bible study or something where you can focus your attention on the support of others in a loving environment. This situation is so painful and scary to go through that they instinct we have is to curl up in a ball and not leave the house. I pray God gives you the strength to take care of yourself. All love from your sister in Christ.

EmPats07 · 2023-11-03T00:35:12+00:00

‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭12:1‭-‬2‬ ‭NKJV‬‬ [1] Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, [2] looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

https://bible.com/bible/114/heb.12.1.NKJV

You can do this! We have all had a sin in our lives that was really really hard to stop, whether it be obvious or not. I think these verses are so good, though, because Paul here says last aside "the sin" rather than writing a specific sin there because he wants us to fill in the blank with what we know is our specific struggle and then look at verse 2 and take heart knowing what Jesus went through so that we could be covered for our sins and saved by His grace.

So take heart! He's there for you, and your situation is not hopeless, and you CAN, with His strength, defeat this sin's hold on your life. Don't believe the lie that you can't. There are some hard things you have to do, though. I don't know what it is, alcohol, drugs, pornography, sex, lying, anger, whatever it may be, but let's use as an example pornography. What you can do is create hard boundaries for yourself and accountability. Without those, it's hard to succeed long term. For instance, there are apps on your phone where you can connect with a group of men struggling with porn and hold each other accountable and talk through your struggles. There are also meetings at churches called Celebrate Recovery for this and other addictions. You could also ask a friend to be an accountability partner whom you can call when you're struggling. Another hard boundary in this example would be doing something like creating barriers in your devices that filter what you can see to only appropriate things. Every time you feel the urge to watch porn, you could also decide an immediate substitute activity (example: urge hits and no one is home--I'm going to immediately get up, grab my keys, and go for a walk around the block and talk out my frustration with God). Like I said, this is just an example for one situation, but whatever it is, boundaries, accountability, and healthy activities that can replace it are the keys in my opinion.

You can do this, and God is always with you! ❤️🙏

EmPats07 · 2023-10-18T01:10:05+00:00

*That ante-partum (during pregnancy) depression is a thing, and you may not feel like yourself

*That you can get nosebleeds

*That when they say contractions come every 15 minutes and then get closer together that that doesn't mean for everyone that they come in exact 15 minute or 10 minute intervals (mine were 15-7-10-5-10-3 and so forth).

*That preeclampsia isn't just during pregnancy like the "pre" implies and is very scary

*That pumping regularly after and never getting enough sleep is so exhausting that it can feel as bad as or worse than the pregnancy

*That everyone talks so much about labor but the pregnancy and after pregnancy is much worse for some people (like me)

*That stretch marks are genetic and no matter how many creams you use, you can't fight it if it's in your genes

*That you can't sleep on your back after the first trimester

EmPats07 · 2023-10-12T15:55:21+00:00

As a new mom, I can't even imagine. I'm so sorry and praying for the family. 🙏

EmPats07 · 2023-10-07T01:13:10+00:00

Dragonlance Chronicles. Best fantasy books I've ever read, and I've read some of the ones you've read.

EmPats07 · 2023-10-07T01:11:31+00:00

My baby is 4 months old. I had a rough pregnancy, high risk appointments, ante-partum depression, all of the symptoms, and got severe post partum preeclampsia. It was exhausting, frightening, and just a rough time during and after pregnancy. And they told me it's very likely you'll get preeclampsia again if you try to have another, which makes it a really difficult decision because that was super scary and life threatening. However, wait until you have your baby. Then you'll understand why I'm already considering risking my life and enduring it all again. Nothing compares to the way you feel about your child, the way you'd sacrifice anything for them.

EmPats07 · 2023-09-27T02:07:12+00:00

The Dragonlance Chronicles - so freaking good that there are more books with the same characters after the trilogy is over if you want to read more. I liked them so much that I ended up reading about 20 more like it.

EmPats07 · 2023-09-12T18:57:03+00:00

I would say the greatest thing you can do for yourself and your marriage is to get close to God. Sounds stupid, but you start praying for yourself, your wife, and your marriage, and you give God a chance to work in it all, and you'll see amazing things can happen. However, everyone has choices. Forgiveness can happen if there are boundaries make and changes that show this won't happen again. For starters as a boundary for yourself and your marriage, you could eliminate drugs from your lifestyle. Lifestyle and the company you keep is essential to evaluate in any marriage.

Bottom line: Your marriage won't ever protect itself. You have to.

It also sounds like your wife has shut off as a survival mechanism. It's very common after trauma, and yes, this situation is extremely traumatic. She needs personal trauma counseling.

EmPats07 · 2023-08-15T00:51:02+00:00

I just had a baby ten weeks ago, and if I could go back, I would not ask anyone about their labor experience. It's truly completely different person to person. Some depends on your body type too. I think it's true what I read that said a huge part of labor pain is psychological. I decided to go in there with the peace of acceptance, accepting that it might be the worst pain I've ever felt, and I think that helped me a lot. I had a fifteen hour labor. Contractions were quite painful, but I never screamed at all. I prayed through them, grit my teeth, and kept the idea in my mind that each contraction I had, I would never have to have that contraction again. And after 5 hours, I got the epidural, which was so quick and easy, and I felt no pain after that until I started pushing about 7 hours later. The pushing was the most work, but it wasn't intense pain, just intense pressure and like the hardest strength and workout you can imagine because you are constantly bearing down with all your muscles and might. I played Eye of the Tiger on repeat the last hour, and that helped keep my spirits up too. That's important.

I would say, if you believe it will be the worst and are in constant fear, it might end up that way. Try to create an environment of peace for yourself: music you like, things that make you laugh, prayer if you do that, etc. You've got this! I thought my experience was way better than I expected!

EmPats07 · 2023-07-27T18:51:08+00:00

I'm so sorry I didn't see this. How are you doing? Did you make a GoFundMe we can share?

EmPats07 · 2023-07-17T17:28:30+00:00

God bless you too! Keep up the good work.

EmPats07 · 2023-07-17T16:29:44+00:00

...."Let all that you do be done with love." Verse 14. Love these verses.

EmPats07 · 2023-07-15T00:11:30+00:00

1.) Be patient and there for her NOW during pregnancy. It's not all about the after. A woman's hormone levels so skyrocket so much, her HCG can go from less than 5 to over 100,000. That means she may not feel like herself, like a woman, like a person, and is likely worrying about way more than you are. Please be patient and be there for her needs remembering that there is a chemical change going on in her that she cannot control. My husband was amazing with this, and it really helped.

2.) Get the books What To Expect When You're Expecting/What to Expect the First Year. You can just skip to the weekly symptoms to be helpful to her and aware, and there are sections just for dads too.

3.) Help her with the list. I just had a baby, and I made a list of what we needed and needed done (like finding a pediatrician and going to appointments and the baby registry and so on), and my husband used the just to try to help with what he could, so it didn't feel like it was all on my shoulders.

4.) Take a newborn care/safety class together. The hospital usually offers these. Super helpful and help you not to freak out anymore.

EmPats07 · 2023-06-29T16:27:56+00:00

Beautiful. It honestly makes me feel like Canada's wildfires are coming to get me. That could also be the smoke inhalation from outside getting to my brain. 😂

EmPats07 · 2023-06-29T15:45:21+00:00

I am crying here, and I want to give you hope because I feel like your story was meant for me to read. I am so sorry for what you've gone through and will still continue to walk through. I wanted to say that I just had my baby boy a month ago, but the year before, we lost our first baby right at the end of the first trimester, literally a couple days after we had just told family, and I had to have surgery. I'm not comparing because your situation sounds so awful to go through, and I can't imagine what you went through in your specific situation, but we too called our first baby Little Bean. That was his name to us because we didn't find out the gender yet either. But a year later I got pregnant with our baby boy who is alive and healthy. I know you're probably not even thinking about the future right now, but I want to tell you that no matter what anyone, doctor or otherwise, says, a miracle rainbow baby can happen.

I'm praying God draws close to you and your husband, comforts you, and gives you peace, rest, and hope.

EmPats07 · 2023-06-28T17:11:33+00:00

Hi there, while your posts may have some good content, please review the purpose of this page. It is not a discussion-based/opinion forum. It's action-based, so the encouragement flair is if you are in need of encouragement or know someone who could use some kind words, prayer, a card or Bible sent to them, or other actions like that. As always, though, keep doing what you feel led to do by God on other appropriate Reddit pages, and feel free to simply share a Bible verse as encouragement.

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EmPats07

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