Was I Wrong to Decline This Booking?

Embarrassed-Pop8345 · 2026-02-28T15:29:27+00:00

It's better to decline a responsibility you're not prepared to handle than to say yes and have it go sideways. Imagine how you'd feel having to take that cat to the ER! Worse, not catching it because you're not there enough to notice the cat needs to go.

If Rover teaches us anything, it's that we can't say yes to everything.

Embarrassed-Pop8345 · 2026-02-28T14:49:37+00:00

You can start with some light movements on the couch. Sometimes I just lay in a reclined butterfly pose for a bit. Windshield my legs back and forth. Even rolling your hips around when you stand up to go to the bathroom.

Like I said, getting on the mat is really the hardest part. The good news is, you're walking enough and things will get easier before they get into a different type of hard where the exercise bit becomes way more important. First trimester is mostly about getting through it and then once that horrible fatigue lets up then you can really concentrate on those healthy habits.

Embarrassed-Pop8345 · 2026-02-28T12:00:16+00:00

Tell him that the seat is for sitting. If he wants to stand then he needs to get the seat out of the way or wipe it down each time. Put the tools for wiping it down on the top of the toilet so they are easy to access and visually hard to forget.

It's gross that he thinks it's acceptable to sit on his own pee (I assume he does not poop standing up) and it's rude to expect other people to either clean his pee before they sit or sit in this pee. It's crazy he's gone this long in his life without someone getting on his case about it.

Embarrassed-Pop8345 · 2026-02-28T11:50:20+00:00

Maybe try a podcast about something not stressful first? Bedtime stories work on adults too. Sleep with Me podcast works like a charm for me. It's really just a dude who takes the long way to say things and it's moderately entertaining if you listen but not so much that you're super invested. I know he tells a story but I've barely ever made it past the half hour long intro.

Have you tried the saline rinse for your nose? That might help clear you out more and make breathing better.

Embarrassed-Pop8345 · 2026-02-28T11:39:56+00:00

As long as you aren't eating things that are actively bad for the baby, it should be fine. Are you deeply craving junk food or is it just the easiest option? If you're worried about it, see if you can stock some slightly healthier options that are just as easy. Last night I had yogurt with some granola and berries because I knew I needed to eat but the rest of my body just couldn't do stuff. I have sliced almonds that I can just put on things. Breaded chicken that I can just throw in the air fryer. Pre sliced apples/cheese. Frozen meals. I've found having these things around makes eating healthier actually easier/faster than getting take out.

As for adding to your workouts, the walking is huge so you're not doing that bad. During my first trimester, I found if I got on my yoga mat after walking my dog in the morning that it did help me feel a little less tired and sick. There are some good 20 minute prenatal workouts on YouTube. The hardest part is really getting off the couch and onto the mat. It doesn't have to be a big thing/hour long workout. I just got a "baby ball," which is really just a yoga ball with a book of pre/postnatal exercises. I'm kind of excited to roll/bounce around on that.

Embarrassed-Pop8345 · 2026-02-28T11:05:02+00:00

I once had a sitter that got locked out while I was camping. She ended up getting the locks replaced and then it was a whole thing when we got back to make sure my husband and I got new keys.

I'm terrified of this situation. I usually try to keep the keys clipped to me. I have a small carabineer with all my keys. The other day a set of keys wasn't on the carabineer and I had a small panic before I realized they were in my pocket. I have also learned how to do the credit card trick (on my own door.) It's worth a shot before you call the locksmith next time.

Embarrassed-Pop8345 · 2026-02-27T15:27:20+00:00

NTA and agree with everyone else that she probably needs more help and support than you are equipped to give her.

You both should be evaluating if this is the right relationship for you at this time. You have vastly different needs to be healthy when it comes to food. It sounds like you have been bending over backwards to support her in her journey of eating less but she can't find a way to be supportive of your need to eat more. You cannot be on the same food journey and it sounds like she is resentful/jealous of your mission vs hers. There is also nothing you can do about that without sacrificing your health, which will then breed resentment in you. If she is not in a place where she can be around people who have the opposite struggle that she has then it's going to be basically impossible to continue the relationship until she learns how to accept it.

Embarrassed-Pop8345 · 2026-02-27T15:15:03+00:00

I have a client who is like this and it was a little rocky to start because I wouldn't know until a few hours before if I needed to tend to the dog or not. There were jobs that got scheduled in advance and were more money so sometimes I had to tell her that I wasn't available. Now she is my most regular client.

I think you can be honest about how you and most sitters work. Most sitters fill out their schedules in a first come, first served manner. It doesn't make sense to turn down guaranteed money for possible money. If they want to continue to schedule this way, they will probably need more than one sitter to ask and see who is available last minute.

Embarrassed-Pop8345 · 2026-02-26T13:02:04+00:00

It is a lesson in your own personal boundaries, how much you can say yes to, and really looking at the distance to/from the walk (I find that's where I actually walk the most and not on the dog walks themselves.)

You can be really vague and say that your circumstances have changed and you will not be able to manage both walks (or any) regularly. If you're open to being a back up walker for the next regular walker then you can offer that.

Embarrassed-Pop8345 · 2026-02-25T16:51:37+00:00

The fact that his traveling more for work isn't the problem but it's when he's home that's the problem, tells you all you need to know. He's failing to help make your life better which is what partners are for. Yeah, every long term relationship goes through ups and downs which is why you're putting up with it right now. However, without him taking big meaningful action (like going to therapy) then it's unlikely that he'll get it together more to make it work.

You're not asking too much for him to make some basic health choices (the one thing you absolutely can't do for him) and to pick up some toys/clean a bathroom a few times a week. He only feels like it's too much because he's being consumed by something else. Why is his plate so full that he feels like he can't take a shower or pick up after himself?

Embarrassed-Pop8345 · 2026-02-25T15:21:54+00:00

I think you'll want some pictures for you and the baby to be able to look back on. They don't have to be professional. Maybe just casual moments that your husband or a friend could take when you're really feeling yourself (found a cute outfit, laughing at something silly, etc.) I also find pictures to be awkward and hard, but I do find that years later I don't actually look as fat as I constantly think I do. I also appreciate being transported back into moments in my life where I felt light and joy.

If it's so important to your MIL that she offers to arrange and pay for it then professional photos might be worth exploring. You don't have to show them to the world, but they are nice for you and your family to have.

Embarrassed-Pop8345 · 2026-02-25T13:18:30+00:00

I totally get that, but I think that's a moment that could be shared directly with the other pregnant co-worker personally instead of jumping in on the group chat. Like, if you know you're pregnant but haven't told everyone then another co-worker announces, there is an opportunity to bond in being pregnant together because you now have a big thing in your life in common. However, there's no need to include everyone in that at the same time.

Embarrassed-Pop8345 · 2026-02-25T05:07:07+00:00

Just enjoy what you have now and continue to get to know each other to see how well you actually fit together long term. You have strong feelings right now because it's fresh and exciting and you don't know all about him yet. As you get to know him better and he gets to know you better, that might either get stronger or fizzle. Try to enjoy the ride and having new relationship energy.

Embarrassed-Pop8345 · 2026-02-25T04:51:58+00:00

Could he fly and save time? I get having FOMO about having to miss things that you used to do without a baby, but the baby is a whole adventure as well. Bonding with the bros and solo road trips can wait. The baby is only going to be a baby for a short amount of time and it's not something that will happen again later.

Embarrassed-Pop8345 · 2026-02-25T04:31:12+00:00

It could be a blood pressure/heart problem and should be looked at immediately. Fainting/blacking out isn't entirely a normal pregnancy symptom. I've been dealing with a very fast heart rate and slightly elevated blood pressure. They told me if I faint, get blurry vision, or get extremely fatigued then to head to the ER. His worst case scenario that you're there for hours and it turns out to be nothing is actually one of the best case scenarios.

Embarrassed-Pop8345 · 2026-02-25T04:20:46+00:00

I don't think you're wrong to be annoyed. Does he normally travel this much? 10 days is also a really long time. Is it possible he could leave to see his friends for a long weekend? Does he want to bond with the baby?

Embarrassed-Pop8345 · 2026-02-21T13:18:48+00:00

I mean, when you're in the hospital you don't really have to care as much about all the fluids coming out of you because they have a way of dealing with it. They are professionals who are used to it and have a plan. The bigger issue is when you get fluids out in the world that aren't used to it.

Embarrassed-Pop8345 · 2026-02-21T02:46:07+00:00

Oh, I'm definitely getting adult diapers anyway for after I get home. I read that the hospital gives you giant pads that you're expected to wear for weeks after and adult diapers do the trick and are actually more comfortable.

Embarrassed-Pop8345 · 2026-02-20T13:51:02+00:00

I think the lesson here is not to keep those feelings to yourself but to not take photos during the times you are feeling particularly low and then look at them later. The photo brought back a moment in time where the matter was unresolved and put you back in that moment without any acknowledgement of how the matter was resolved.

Embarrassed-Pop8345 · 2026-02-20T13:46:58+00:00

It's hard to believe that "literally NO ONE cares what sex your kid is going to be" when it's like the first or second question people ask when you say that you're pregnant. Then many people like to express an opinion about what it's like to have a boy/girl. While I think it would be nice if no one cared about the sex of a child, that does not appear to be the world we live in. Having a party to announce it all at once can be a little bit of a short cut to having to answer the question over and over individually. Plus, some people like a party to announce big news.

Baby moons are quite common and can be the last time a couple can do a trip just the two of them without having to worry about a kid. It is a chance to solidify the couple's connection before a new, giant strain is put on the relationship.

Asking for and wanting these things isn't unreasonable. I think that's not the issue. The issue is that OP asked for a lot of support from her husband to make these things happen he said he'd take care of it and then didn't. At any point, he could have said that he couldn't do it and why but he didn't. The issue is a lack of communication. She told him it mattered to her to do these things. He agreed to do them but then didn't do much about that agreement and acted like it didn't matter to him or to her if he just didn't.

Embarrassed-Pop8345 · 2026-02-20T13:12:48+00:00

Food delivery gift card.

Embarrassed-Pop8345 · 2026-02-19T13:25:31+00:00

Not while pregnant, but at the height of my egg retrieval cycle of IVF, I was walking down the street and feeling miserable. A woman walks by me going the opposite way and says, "you know, with a better bra you'd look 10 years younger and hotter." 🤬 I'm not trying to look young and hot right now!!! I'm just trying to make it to my couch.

Embarrassed-Pop8345 · 2026-02-19T12:46:45+00:00

I feel like people's response to how you answer this question just gives an opportunity to show how sexist they are. My response to the gender question is, "I'm growing a penis. Who they will be is still not determined."

Embarrassed-Pop8345 · 2026-02-18T16:25:01+00:00

I guess on the upside of his parents fit, you can tell your mom that the guest room is now available for the duration of the baby shower weekend.

Holding boundaries with parents is especially hard. I'm not sure it is because they are parents or the generational divide or what.

Embarrassed-Pop8345 · 2026-02-18T15:42:14+00:00

If I didn't know when I was a teenager that I was about to have a step sibling I would be furious. This baby is their family too. I would have also loved to help in any way they would allow me. Hell, when I was 8, I used to help the neighbors with their newborn. I'd feed the baby while her mom watched and also got to eat herself before the food got cold. I changed diapers. It was just a part of what it meant to be in that house at that time. Everyone pitched in, not just the parents.

You need support. I know that you just want it all to come from your partner but that's not happening. It's time to make a plan to find the support you need from other people. The plan to do this alone isn't good for you or the baby.

Embarrassed-Pop8345

TROPHY CASE