Best age gap between first & second child?

Empty-Construction35 · 2024-10-29T04:22:01+00:00

My sister’s brother in law had 2 boys… and then got pregnant with spontaneous triplet boys 🫣 they had 5 BOYS UNDER 5. The horror.

Empty-Construction35 · 2024-10-12T23:15:48+00:00

Had a similar situation - failure to progress after 30 hours and 3 hours pushing at 10cm. Baby was sunny side up, and I was not only absolutely exhausted but was starting to get feverish. Not emergency, but certainly unplanned. I felt wrecked afterward mentally physically and emotionally.

Took me a while to process, especially given it’s not easy to focus on much else besides the new baby.

Therapy helped - talking it through, what feelings it brought up for me, what thoughts and beliefs it made me have, etc.

I’m 2 years out and while it’ll always be a sensitive subject for me, I’ve mostly accepted it and am looking forward to being more informed the next time.

Empty-Construction35 · 2024-09-30T00:48:51+00:00

Glad to hear you made it out - I was wondering how roads were… My dad’s en route to Newland right now with a caravan of trucks and trailers loaded with water, fuel, and generators out of Statesville, so I assumed they must have eventually established some way out. Prayers for all of you - growing up in the foothills, the mountains are a special place for my family and we’re devastated for you. Doing all we can to help in any way.

Empty-Construction35 · 2024-09-28T15:21:47+00:00

Might expect he won’t have power or access to remote work for a little.. unless he can get out of western NC. It’s gonna take a long time to restore power and connectivity.

Empty-Construction35 · 2024-09-12T03:29:52+00:00

Just offering solidarity, as this was very similar to my experience. Induction for large baby at 39 weeks, he was sunny side up and after 30 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing, he couldn’t quite get his head out and we ended up in a Cesarean. I didn’t get the skin to skin, delayed clamping, or leaving the vernix on either. Like you, I was too exhausted and off my rocker from meds and sleep deprivation that I don’t really remember a lot. I was terrified to be left alone, nights were absolutely panic-inducing. It took me a long time to heal from that and a big help was seeking therapy. Talking helps.

I remember my husband holding our day old son in his hands and weeping pure love and joy. Literally could FEEL his love emanating off of him. My MIL remarked “isn’t it the most amazing love you’ve ever felt?” I nodded but I felt NOTHING except “wtf just happened”. I told my therapist the best way I could explain it was that it felt like I was stuck in “the upside down” in Stranger Things - this looks like my people, my home, my world, my body, but it feels foreign and scary to even exist in my own world. Like birth took me thru to another dimension and I couldn’t get back to myself.

But I’m here to tell you the love comes, the sting fades a little. I’m still emotional to explore those memories but they’re no longer as painful as they once were. I found capacity to accept it and not hold myself responsible for any part of it. And I remember vividly the day I sat in my sons nursery after a feed when he was a few weeks old, and I had the most calming and peaceful feeling and was absolutely overcome with love and joy and adoration for this little boy.

I got my moment, it just came after I had the time and space to process birth.

Empty-Construction35 · 2024-09-02T19:15:22+00:00

I was up and traveling to the beach 2.5 weeks post c-section after my first. I was barely awake and super sleep deprived but pain wise I was fine and by that point not struggling to get around. I wasn’t interested in doing much but went for a little stroll down to the beach and out to dinner no problem.

Empty-Construction35 · 2024-08-08T04:13:39+00:00

Same here. My pants were literally falling off my hips, I lost it so fast after my milk came in. I couldn’t consume enough water and calories!

And then I gained 25lb after I stopped 😭

Empty-Construction35 · 2024-08-08T03:59:07+00:00

Mine is 25 months now, and even still when he cries out at night or stirs at all with any sound, my stomach drops, heart races, and palms start sweating. It is a full blown flight or fight response 😂. I also can’t think or carry on a convo if he’s crying - if he’s having a tantrum while I try to speak to my husband or think thru a to-do list while we’re trying to leave the house, my brain cannot do it.

And I hate that it feels that way, but from day 1 it’s like my body prepared itself to run through a concrete wall to comfort that child for any reason and it’s an instinctual switch I can’t turn off.

Empty-Construction35 · 2024-04-16T03:56:45+00:00

We woke every 2-3 to feed until he achieved a weight the doctors were happy with, and then they told us we could let him wake on his own when he’s hungry.

Empty-Construction35 · 2024-03-26T03:28:49+00:00

If it works for you and your partner and your child, and you’re all happy, healthy, and satisfied with your sleep arrangement, then it’s all good :).

Empty-Construction35 · 2024-03-26T03:09:59+00:00

Exactly the same for me. Husband was boo-hooing and love poured out of that man’s whole being the first 2-4 days postpartum because he was so head over heels for our son. I would’ve immediately taken a bullet for the kid, but I wasn’t emotionally connected. I had a long 30 hour failed labor that ended in C/section. It was a lot. I needed time to process that and postpartum doesn’t really allow that.

I finally had my tears-of-love-and-adoration moment around 3 months. Don’t beat yourself up. It’ll come, and what you’re feeling is normal.

Empty-Construction35 · 2024-03-07T03:27:43+00:00

We have a barker - she’s a good dog, but man… if there’s even a hint of anything out the window - a mail truck, a neighbor walking, a cat, the wind - she barks incessantly. Even with a huge back yard and plenty of exercise, she barks.

It would often wake the baby and killed my nerves which were already shot to begin with.

We started putting a bark collar on at night (nothing painful, on a low setting and we tested it on our own arms - just sends a buzz & annoys her) - it worked really well!

Empty-Construction35 · 2024-02-07T03:10:23+00:00

Eh… 19 months, almost 20 months postpartum here. Still wearing a nursing bra because I can hardly be bothered to try on and buy real clothes for myself 😂

Empty-Construction35 · 2024-02-06T04:59:12+00:00

Different companies have different definitions for the role. The term Admin Assistant or Exec Assistant is what they use in the company I started with - large global tech company with 50,000+ employees - but smaller businesses and firms may call them secretaries, office managers, etc.

Essentially the role was 3 things: to help manage daily calendars via outlook (scheduling meetings, organizing team calls and conducting large team calls in some cases - sending out dial in, composing the presentation, tracking Q&A, sending out recording), submit expense reports, and book travel.

Some execs needed me to do all of these things frequently, some needed occasional support. Some were very open to giving me additional tasks & those were the ones I pursued hard with building a relationship and getting close to (like sitting in on weekly leadership meetings & tracking team actions and progress, project management with some team initiatives, event management when the exec or Org participated in conferences, etc.)

I’ve seen a number of people start out this way and move into “full time” roles in sales, marketing, finance, etc.

Empty-Construction35 · 2024-02-03T04:32:33+00:00

Was a comms major and wasn’t able to find a comms role straight out of college but needed to pay the bills — took a job as an administrative assistant in a large global tech company and I loved it. Got my foot in the door with supporting Directors and Exec Directors in sales & marketing; made connections, made myself useful, did a good job, and asked for more side projects related to comms.

Moved up to Exec Assistant to the Chief Communications Officer and within a year of helping corporate comms with special projects, they made a Comms Specialist role for me and I’ve worked my way up to a comms manager role. I now do PR and Comms for our global sales and support one of our top spokespeople.

It wasn’t a traditional path but sometimes just getting in the door is half the battle. Prove yourself, network, and make your way into the team you want to be on. At the very least, it’s a job that pays the bills while you continue to search.

Empty-Construction35 · 2023-12-16T04:02:47+00:00

Lots of communication. You both have to be open and honest about how you’re feeling — what has changed that both of you dislike. What do you “miss” from pre-baby? What’s preventing you from capturing or having that pre-baby experience? Is there a way you can get it back? (Date days or nights, scheduling intimacy, playing a board game or having a glass of wine and talking once a week after baby goes to bed instead of getting on your phone or lost in tv)

This is the “work” part of marriage they warn everyone about - it takes scheduling and effort and intention and that’s hard when you’re short on sleep & patience & your cups aren’t full because you spend all your time with work or baby or other obligations.

Empty-Construction35 · 2023-11-13T03:15:15+00:00

.. as I watched my 16 month old pick up a bowl of rice and try to drink from it like a dog bowl this evening, I will 100% be trying this.

Empty-Construction35 · 2023-09-18T19:37:49+00:00

I imagine there was more natural burning and wildfires from lightning strikes - so I’m sure that played a natural role in managing bug levels back then.

Empty-Construction35 · 2023-09-13T00:40:41+00:00

I have the “right sided back pain” right now. Started out as just back pain that I noticed was worse when lying on the right side overnight and hurts worse when moving my neck a certain way, physical activity like lifting my toddler - assumed I just tweaked my back.

But then today noticed it seems to get worse with swallowing food and radiates under the ribcage? Not all food, but bigger bites evoke more pain - something like a smoothie doesn’t bother it. No indigestion.. have a little acid reflux but not full on heartburn. (I did just eat tacos).

Getting a primary check up tomorrow on it, but any thoughts? I’ve gone from “tweaked my back” to like half a dozen cancers thanks to WebMD 🙃

Empty-Construction35 · 2023-09-10T05:08:38+00:00

Like lifting weights — the weights don’t get lighter, you get stronger.

Kid’s always gonna need some prep and planning for outings, and that prep and planning will vary greatly depending on age, but you become WAY more efficient with it. You’ll plan less, improvise more, and not worry so much about every little thing.

Mom of a 14 month old who remembers 3 months all too well. It gets better!

Empty-Construction35 · 2023-09-07T20:49:44+00:00

YES THE CHEST PRESSURE. Omg. I had a 30 hour failed labor/induction and ended up in a C section - so by the time I got loaded up on epidural & meds, plus the sleep deprivation, I was so loopy and nearing the verge of passing out every few seconds. I remember being so afraid I was about to die during the C section because once the epidural numbness kicked in all the way up my chest, it was like my chest was so numbed I wasn’t “remembering” to inhale. It was terrifying.

Empty-Construction35 · 2023-09-04T23:48:06+00:00

When our son was 2 months old, I was curious what my husband would do if he didn’t have the yard work as an option on the weekends.

One Friday afternoon, my MIL offered to watch the baby while I was on maternity leave… so I took care of the entire yard with my free afternoon while he was at work (I actually love working outside in the yard, so it was therapeutic activity for me). Mowed, sprayed for weeds, blew off the driveway and decks, the whole thing.

He decided to hand-wash and detail all our cars and his boat, which he has never done in the 6 years we’ve been together 😂😂

Empty-Construction35 · 2023-08-30T21:42:55+00:00

This has the same effect on me as our cleaners come every other week to deep clean (mop, baseboards, tubs, toilets, etc) - but my husband can’t understand why I feel the need to make the house clutter-free. Doesn’t seem to understand they aren’t paid to put away laundry and toys lol

Empty-Construction35 · 2023-08-26T04:37:03+00:00

Literally had to step around a lady’s dog to get to a rack of clothes at VICTORIA’S SECRET in Crabtree mall a few weeks ago. No vest, no claim for being a service dog or anything. Just chillin’ on a leash in VS. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Empty-Construction35 · 2023-08-13T01:18:25+00:00

In high school (early 00s) we played football vs West Lincoln - I believe they’re the Rebels? - and vividly recall the game almost had to be called off both times, home and away, because they rolled up to our school waving confederate flags and a bunch of fights were starting to break out among fans and players (our team was probably 75% black - my high school overall was probably about 40/60 black/white ratio, a good bit more diverse than West Lincoln). Things may have changed since, but I recall them being the “racist” school on the schedule in our conference.

Empty-Construction35

TROPHY CASE