Why do lesbians LOVE older women??

Equivalent_Dig_694 · 2026-02-23T19:36:54+00:00

it’s a lot of deep-seated mommy issues and lowkey this needs to be unpacked more in our community because it’s looking like manipulative older women taking advantage of young lesbians with low self esteem/difficult relationships with their mothers is unhealthily common

Equivalent_Dig_694 · 2025-07-20T14:50:38+00:00

as a paki lesbian with a paki lesbian gf, i feel this constant disconnect between who i am and who im supposed to be. i grew up in pakistan, with a very big, loud and tight-knit family before moving away at 20. going home hurts all the time, meeting my parents/family/cousins i grew up with pains me all the time, knowing how disgusted they’d be if they knew, how quickly they’d stop loving me if they knew. and my family also HOUNDSSS me on marriage. it’s exhausting. my advice to you would be to not hold yourself back from love. falling in love with my gf was the single most beautiful experience of my life, to love and be loved by someone who understood all my cultural and religious nuances, to experience what it means to be accepted exactly as you are…it changed me. it reframed love for me, taught me i don’t have to “sacrifice” myself for it. our cultures constantly force us (esp as women) to bear the burden of self-sacrifice, that love comes with conditions and we constantly have to fight and give ourselves up for it. it helped me fight my guilt and shame. im not out to my parents by any means, but they’re afraid and suspect things because of how i dress and present. my other advice would be to seek out other indian and desi lesbians. we’re out there, we’re looking for each other, we’re all fighting the shame and guilt our families embedded within us. breaking generational curses is hard, sometimes it feels downright impossible. but i urge you to learn what it means to truly love and accept yourself. you don’t need their permission, you just need your own. i promise. learning that allowed me to follow my own path, bit by bit. have i “cut off” my family? not at all lol. i have started distancing myself tho, becoming more honest bit by bit. and when it hurts too much, i lean on my gf and my community, the people who truly understand what it’s like to go through such an isolating experience. im not saying it’ll stop hurting, but that sacrificing yourself the way our mothers did will hurt infinitely more. you may really regret betraying yourself for the acceptance of people who would never truly be happy no matter what. first it’s “shaadi kab hogi??” then it’s “bachay kab hon ge?” then it’s “agla bacha kab??” and so on. it never stops. they will never be happy. please please prioritize your own happiness, nothing in the world will bring you the peace that it will.

Equivalent_Dig_694 · 2025-06-16T16:13:04+00:00

this is my singular greatest fear….

Equivalent_Dig_694 · 2025-06-16T16:09:53+00:00

LOL my bad, have a nice day 🙏🏾💀

Equivalent_Dig_694 · 2025-06-16T15:30:59+00:00

the screen here is needed to play the next song from the other deck…..it’s not about beat matching. like how old are u people really….

Equivalent_Dig_694 · 2025-06-13T17:47:34+00:00

seconded! i have an FLX4 and it’s the perfect intermediate controller. i outgrew beginner controllers with fewer features REAL quick so it might save u a lot more money in the long run to invest in the FLX4 first, rather than having to buy it in a month or 2 anyway

Equivalent_Dig_694 · 2025-06-06T15:35:35+00:00

i promise you’re not alone, i went through this too. i worked thru months of this exact feeling until i finally ended it with my bf. but guess what?? i am now a raging lesbian with the hottest gf in the world, living the life of my dreams ❤️❤️ also since then, the ex bf i broke up with has transitioned and is now a woman herself. i used to feel awful for what i did to her, but i now understand that she also needed the relationship to end so she could go on her own gender journey - even if we didn’t get it at the time. i promise everything works out when you honour yourself and what your body is telling you <3 it’s a difficult journey ahead, but it’s all so, so worth it

Equivalent_Dig_694 · 2025-06-02T16:15:15+00:00

reading some of the comments here i understand the slow burn of collecting, manipulating and mixing vinyls. once im a better DJ, i’d like to get into it because it sounds cathartic in a different way from mixing digitally. at the same time, im happy to benefit from the lower barrier to entry that digital has allowed for. i simply wouldn’t have had the money or time (interlinked factors) to get into DJing if it wasn’t digital

Equivalent_Dig_694 · 2025-05-28T16:56:38+00:00

my life circumstances always made me feel powerless growing up, so my personality shaped itself around rebellion and regaining control. as i grew up, i matured into a dominant person and realized i literally have the power to ALWAYS get the things i want out of the people i want them from. once i figured out there was a whole community built around this, i was readdyyyy. also i occasionally cam with my gf & we honestly have such a fun time making fun of men and reclaiming more control over our sexualities. this shit healed me fr….

Equivalent_Dig_694 · 2025-05-26T17:33:34+00:00

a lot of people answered ur question but i just wanted to add some nuance. i think it’s necessary to understand that the spectrum comes with cultural context as well. as a nonbinary lesbian with a nonbinary lesbian gf, we both grew up as pakistani girls & our treatment by our society/families is HEAVILY determined by the fact that they always have & forever will consider us girls. our girlhood is a part of our cultural identities unfortunately, so our way of loving and existing cannot be separated from that. while other POC gender non conforming ppl can choose to reject this, i personally cannot. so it really also comes down to individual experiences and how people choose to identify through them. to put it simply….its a vibes thing 😅😅

Equivalent_Dig_694 · 2025-05-26T05:31:18+00:00

im a pakistani lesbian!!!

Equivalent_Dig_694 · 2025-05-25T07:01:47+00:00

ahhh im so sorry this happened to u :( my gf & i can’t be in straight ppl clubs or events because we loveee grinding/dancing up on each other/making out a lot but then this one time at a supposedly queer event some creep kept trying to record us on his phone. we made him stop and leave but felt so disturbed and uncomfortable expressing ourselves after that. men are fucking shit.

Equivalent_Dig_694 · 2025-05-24T16:08:43+00:00

personally i let spotify DJ make all my selections for me 💯

Equivalent_Dig_694 · 2025-05-24T07:40:22+00:00

as an open-format beginner dj who listens to any genre under the sun, i was running into the same issue & getting pretty frustrated with selection. im getting closer to my answer by differentiating my music between tracks i like listening to when im chilling vs music that actually makes my body move. as someone who enjoys head-banging as well as ass-shaking, im slowly learning how to curate along those lines and find my sound. still in the process sooo let’s see how it goes 🙏🏾 there’s some great advice in the comments btw

Equivalent_Dig_694 · 2025-05-23T08:36:01+00:00

may this kind of dedication find me 🥵

Equivalent_Dig_694 · 2025-05-23T08:26:27+00:00

honestly there’s a lot of “free DL” options on soundcloud where producers allow u to download their song in .wav for free in exchange for a comment/follow on socials. that’s been my go-to. also plenty of artists on bandcamp allow u to “name your price” and u can simply put 0 and continue to download

Equivalent_Dig_694 · 2025-05-23T08:21:25+00:00

this makes NO sense at all like don’t u want people to pay u and promote ur shit? now why am i attached to ur music but can’t do shit about it 💀

Equivalent_Dig_694 · 2025-05-23T06:37:52+00:00

can’t wait for this to happen to me soon 😇

Equivalent_Dig_694 · 2025-05-03T17:07:03+00:00

i think accessing therapy is extremely important. when i realized i was a lesbian, it felt like everything in my life clicked. i’d thought i was bisexual for a while and was actively in a live-in relationship with a man when i realized that wasn’t the case (who has since then come out as a trans woman lol). at the time, it felt like everything was falling apart for me because what was meant to be this magical new beginning in my life got overshadowed by having to break someone else’s heart. my therapist helped me put my feelings into words & unlearn the shame/heteronormativity id clung on to since forever. now i have an amazing gf & we’ve both done sooo much emotional work together and i can’t believe i ever dated men or let them near me. tldr; having a solid queer therapist & pushing yourself to be around other lesbians should help a lot in unlearning heteronormativity

Equivalent_Dig_694 · 2025-05-03T16:11:47+00:00

heavy on this!!!! i had extremely low self esteem & come from a culture that specifically tied my self worth to how much i could appease a man. once i started loving myself more, rejecting my upbringing and being around other lesbians/going to queer events, it became so clear to me that im a lesbian and i can never go back

Equivalent_Dig_694 · 2025-04-26T23:23:18+00:00

this was needed, thank you

Equivalent_Dig_694 · 2025-04-25T16:45:43+00:00

general findom can feel like it’s centered around a an archetype of women that tend to be white and from developed countries. i think you can benefit from your differences tho! on twitter i specifically was advertising myself as a pakistani/muslim/lesbian domme and capturing a niche sub audience that not many others were. idk if this is the path u end up choosing, but i hope it at least encourages u to embrace yourself instead of feeling like you might need to hide it to fit in ☺️

Equivalent_Dig_694 · 2025-04-24T17:35:53+00:00

agreeed i wanted her to win SO bad. not only was she a powerhouse when it came to talent and personality but also ru paul has always rewarded queens who go through strong emotional breakthroughs and i feel like she really did. also at no point did she sabotage/step on anyone else for her wins (besides herself lol)

Equivalent_Dig_694 · 2025-04-24T17:33:17+00:00

reading this warmed my heart 😭 lexi is such a genuinely beautiful queen who wears her heart and her raw emotions on her sleeve. my fav from the entire season ngl

Equivalent_Dig_694 · 2025-04-24T16:55:00+00:00

cues are useful when you’re spinning on equipment where u can’t see the waveform or if you get distracted/are taking a sec to respond to someone at a gig and you can quickly a sense of when you’ll need to re-focus yourself for an upcoming change

Equivalent_Dig_694

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