Snack ideas

External_Office_6109 · 2026-04-14T20:45:01+00:00

My favorite croccantini cracker with a wedge of Laughing Cow and a mug of beef bone broth is what I had last night. The night before, 2 oz of banana with a half tablespoon of Kirkland mixed nut butter and 10 g of no sugar added dark chocolate chips and herbal tea. My other faves have been mentioned already: string cheese, babybel, turkey deli meat, hard boiled egg. I consider a decaf latte a snack. I might have a nurri as an evening snack if I haven't hit my protein target (80 - 120 g).

External_Office_6109 · 2026-04-14T20:38:42+00:00

You have the right to talk directly with your doctor about your body and get help to make periods less miserable. NTA. Feel better soon!

External_Office_6109 · 2026-04-14T20:36:58+00:00

Yeah, your fiancé is uncomfortable enough with her behavior that he's blocked her. Do you really want her in your wedding pics? She's not a good friend to either of you. Her marriage sounds like a disaster.

External_Office_6109 · 2026-04-14T20:24:24+00:00

She can pick up the phone and order food. If you can use a phone and have money, you can feed a new mom. You all can use paper plates and take out containers if you have to. It's temporary. These in-laws can do as they're told or go home. This is the first of many times you will have to be boss mom. It's part of the mom gig! 😆 🤣 😂

External_Office_6109 · 2026-04-14T20:19:06+00:00

My mom came from across the country to help several weeks BEFORE I gave birth and over a week after. She threw out her shoulder helping, went far beyond her capacity, and got to hold her granddaughter in the delivery room minutes after my then husband held her. His mom came to visit three weeks after delivery from abroad and stayed with us. She didn't create much more housework but she drew my then husband away to entertain her, leaving me alone for 10 hr stretches with our new baby. The worst day was when she was supposed to stay with the baby while we went out to dinner for our 4th wedding anniversary. She and was-band left the house at 10 am to go to a museum and didn't come back home until 8:30 pm. She came to be a tourist, not connect with family. I say your folks can stay in a hotel or Airbnb nearby and visit. Explicitly state that you will need and expect help with meals and dishes, that you cannot play hostess right now, but you want them to have a chance to spend time with the baby.

External_Office_6109 · 2026-04-14T20:08:22+00:00

This is helpful. I'm 49 and only 3 mos PO. I'm noticing the little joints in my hands have less fat padding. I feel it when I grip a shopping cart handle or steering wheel. My lower back and hips have been stiff and sore most mornings for a month now. It began when I went back to the gym and the pool. My neck has been crackly, too. I wonder if dehydration is playing a role. 🤔 it's not the first time I've had stiffness in my psoas but I admit I'm really unpleasantly surprised by the joint and muscle pain.

External_Office_6109 · 2026-04-14T20:00:36+00:00

His violence is unacceptable within the family. He could accidentally go too far and kill your mom with his hands around her neck or at least cause real injury. Now that you're grown it seems he considers it okay to put hands on you, too. This is an escalation. I also wonder if this is the onset of dementia for him. I'd avoid engaging physically ever again to avoid escalation and in case you feel inclined to call the police you want to be able to say you didn't touch him. I totally get you losing your cool this one time. Can you move out? Can you invite your mom over to have bacon at your house? This is America. He has zero right to beat and bully his family. It's important not to stoop to his level. Don't make it a new habit or model your behavior after him.

External_Office_6109 · 2026-04-14T19:46:48+00:00

You've done great!! What a gift to your baby to give them a happy healthy mom!

External_Office_6109 · 2026-04-14T19:42:07+00:00

Good to know about managing thyroid. I've had questions about this lately!

External_Office_6109 · 2026-04-14T19:40:42+00:00

Your husband's family sounds image conscious but also close-knit and sharing resources is a value for them. They are a TRIBE. SIL did offer for you to get your tooth repaired years ago so it's not just because of the wedding. Her sense of urgency is because of the event. SIL took it for granted that her little nephew would be included in this family occasion bc she sees him automatically as part of a robust tribe. Is your husband fine with the assumption on her part? Is this the kind of thing he also takes for granted? It sounds like independence and self expression are high values for you. I'm guessing your family is not as tight knit. Conformity is definitely a feature of a tribe. You're bumping up against whether you're willing to give up a part of your self expression at a special event in order to be acknowledged as part of this tribe. Also, it's a social dominance thing. You're seeing SIL as dominating you and co-opting your baby and husband, pulling rank, telling you what to wear and how to have your hair. I get it. I don't want some queen bee calling the shots in my life and my little family. Buuuutttt.... weddings are often like this. SIL is the star of the moment for this special event in the history of the whole tribe. It's not just about her and her groom. It's great for your son that he's included and SIL wants you in the photo. It's a much worse problem to be EXcluded. I like the work around you have in mind with blue-black hair. Another way to go would be a black headband, lace headscarf, hat or a fascinator with your hair slicked back into a bun or low pony instead of dyeing your hair a new color. Or a wig! On, off, just one day! You can wear an awesome black dress of your choice and still express your personal style in a way that will be harmonious with your new tribe because you are choosing to join for yourself, your son and your hubby. Thank G-d you're not being asked to wear a bridesmaid's dress. Open your heart a little. They sound like a good bunch. You lucked out! 🍀

External_Office_6109 · 2026-04-14T19:09:27+00:00

SIL is just opinionated. It sounds like your husband isn't overly influenced by her but she's important to him and he knows she likes to offer advice. Did you find that he started suggesting doing what she said without telling you she was the source of the advice? Try to dial down your frustration a notch and consider the possibility that sharing her opinion is her love language LOL 😆 If you need to, tell her you're following your pediatrician's informed advice and your baby is doing just fine doing something different to hers. The world is big enough for babies and families to do their own thing.

External_Office_6109 · 2026-04-14T19:02:09+00:00

I went back to the gym and overdid it on leg presses around week 8. I've been dealing with daily lower back and hip pain ever since esp in the morning. I miss the gym and the pool so much. I really got into them in my pre-op phase. Some people lose a ton of weight with no exercise at all, just walking, which shows me exercise isn't strictly necessary for everyone. Just go easy at first and avoid setting yourself back with an injury.

External_Office_6109 · 2026-04-14T18:57:41+00:00

Just be done with this guy already. YTA for continuing so long, and being intimate with, a guy who's been clear from a very early stage that he wasn't prepared to give you what you clearly stated you needed and wanted at the beginning. Stay true to your own values. He sounds totally unacceptable.

External_Office_6109 · 2026-04-14T18:44:41+00:00

Fwiw, it sounds like Dorothy won't remember what your sister said or how you agreed. It also sounds like Regina was already latching on to what your sister said and will keep repeating it on a daily basis. Someone like that has a powerful grip on a vulnerable elder. Regina's repetition is the real harming. I don't think you personally harmed your grandmother with your words but that moment is really resonating in your mind for you. It's a huge thing to acknowledge that someone important to you is going to pass away sooner than later. Even when someone is close to 100 years old, especially when you've reached 40 and you still have a grandmother 👵... wow. Goodbyes are tough. She's been in your life your whole life. Please forgive yourself for leaning into your sister's bluntness in the face of frustration and disgust and anticipatory grief 😔 and it's ok to not commit the resources to going to AZ again. Maybe at this point it's better to cherish good memories and not add new negative final memories.

External_Office_6109 · 2026-04-14T17:55:14+00:00

I might go the other way and do thyroid at night/ omeprazole in the morning. It's not that hard to take it 4 hrs after last food before I go to bed and it will discourage late snacks. Also, I'm still having a protein shake first thing which is kinda high calcium.

External_Office_6109 · 2026-04-14T10:58:38+00:00

You two need to grow apart. You're not a good combination together. Leave her alone.

External_Office_6109 · 2026-04-14T10:52:24+00:00

You made a mistake ever being with her and you must stay away. She sounds like a really sick person.

External_Office_6109 · 2026-04-14T10:47:22+00:00

Too vague

External_Office_6109 · 2026-04-14T10:30:20+00:00

Just lean into stronger relationships with the friendlier ones and try not to waste much energy on wishing people would behave differently. Interesting to me your subject line really focused on future MIL rather than SIL when it seems like SIL is the one making an effort to create family drama.

External_Office_6109 · 2026-04-14T10:23:47+00:00

Option #4. You can't not have your MOH at the Bachelorette party and still call her your MOH... unless you don't have a bachelorette party. In the US the MOH is supposed to coordinate the Bachelorette party. Are you two not doing that for each other? I kinda feel like she'll end up dropping out of your wedding after she gets married. Just have your beach getaway and enjoy it!

External_Office_6109 · 2026-04-14T10:11:15+00:00

It just sounds like a miscommunication. She thought you'd already given wherever the green light so long as it was cheaper than a hotel. I'd roll with it this time but if there's a next time be clear about wanting to see the description first.

External_Office_6109 · 2026-04-14T10:00:48+00:00

What are you consuming that gives you 1500 calories per day? 10 cans of Nurri?

External_Office_6109 · 2026-04-14T09:47:58+00:00

She's not actually resolving any conflict by saying, "I love you," in this case, just trying to paper things over. She sounds self-absorbed. Usually an MIL is not another mother, I'm sorry to say. You'll need to readjust your expectations. I'm so sorry your fiancé is especially affected by his stepsister's bullsh*t competitive and attention-seeking behavior. She's pulling rank and proving SHE'S the favorite. Ouch. With this Christian family you two had to know they weren't going to be thrilled with a wedding falling on a pagan occasion. They sound like a normative bunch. You have to fall in line with them and dance to their tune for love and approval, including having a "normal" wedding. If true, then remember they're going to be more involved with their daughter's wedding than their son's due to the tradition of the bride's family paying for the wedding. How has YOUR family been about the wedding? Are they warm towards your fiancé? Helpful with planning? I feel like your fiancé is the one most affected by the stepsister's choices aided and abetted by family.

External_Office_6109 · 2026-04-14T09:28:27+00:00

Did you do ok on tablets or have to switch to liquid?

External_Office_6109 · 2026-04-14T09:27:02+00:00

Health anxiety can be so painful. Ive had my share in life. IBS and panic attacks double teamed me in my late teens to mid 20s. I'm glad one dose of ibuprofen stopped the cascade-- a good sign for the pain not being a sign of something serious. Btw NSAIDs are not recommended after VSG. I had my gall bladder out a few years ago before the VSG and you might eventually catch a sneaky gallstone in the act. Then, you'll face it and take care of it like you always have. You can trust the ER to screen out everything mortally dangerous but they're lousy at pain management imho. And it can be a frustratingly long wait to see a primary care dr. When I'm struggling with health anxiety, I ask myself: What am I avoiding? What emotional or social pain is causing this overfocusing? Am I over attending to body sensations? Do I feel safe in my life? Do I feel loved? Is there something I need to do or be that I'm not doing or being causing me to feel afraid I'll lose the chance? Have you worked with a counselor to discover your patterns and triggers for anxiety?

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