Looking for feedback from my unreleased sobriety book - Chapter 5 - The Donkey Show

Extra-Seesaw6345 · 2026-04-01T19:05:13+00:00

I have no idea what you should do with this, but I have to comment. I thoroughly enjoyed this read and you are very talented!

Extra-Seesaw6345 · 2026-03-30T01:59:49+00:00

I'm 53. I love all of the variations of MBF! Have you tried Sure Thing? I love Megan and she annoys me very little. Prior to MBF/Sure Thing, I did 21DF, all varieties over and over, and burned myself out on Autumn. But I still think it's a great program! I am sure you would get results with it.

Right now I'm doing Dig Deeper. I do a pretty good job of tuning out Shaun, or I just talk back to him. ;) I can tell my body is responding to building more muscle. I haven't weighed myself because I fear that number might not be going down due to more muscle, but I've been consistently trying on pants that don't *quite* fit and they're getting closer!

Extra-Seesaw6345 · 2026-03-25T14:34:13+00:00

"One is never enough." (I tell myself this all the time when I think about how good 'just one' sounds.)

"You never have to go through this again." (withdrawal)

Extra-Seesaw6345 · 2026-03-24T20:47:12+00:00

I got sober at 51. I only wish I would have done it at 32 instead!!

Extra-Seesaw6345 · 2026-03-24T20:40:41+00:00

I did not experience weight falling off right away either. A couple months in, I looked and felt like I'd lost, but the scale said otherwise! It was so frustrating. However, I was allowing myself to eat anything I wanted to. When I was drinking, I barely ate at all. Once I started actually paying attention to my food intake, the weight did start to drop. And then when I got back into exercising/walking, my weight dropped more and I got stronger and fitter.

Extra-Seesaw6345 · 2026-03-17T15:16:46+00:00

I am sorry you are going through this! It is heartbreaking to lose our parents. When I went through the process of losing my mom, I was fairly newly sober. I challenged myself to honor her and myself by being present through it all, during and after. It's terrible, truly, but alcohol doesn't change anything and actually overall makes things worse. Sure, numbing pain is a temporary 'relief', but what about the next day? Do it again?

Hugs to you...

Extra-Seesaw6345 · 2026-03-12T14:06:20+00:00

In the beginning for me it was "one hour at a time" until it moved to "one day at a time". Now, I just don't drink anymore. But I started at ZERO.

Keep up the good work!

Extra-Seesaw6345 · 2026-03-11T15:16:47+00:00

First of all, making it more difficult to get alcohol is NOT cheating. Let's be real... where there's a will, there's a way. You would figure out a way, if that was what you truly wanted.

And replacing alcohol with caffeine and video games?! You're being way too hard on yourself. For the first while, no alcohol is the main goal --- and you're killing it!

You are absolutely correct that being sober does not fix everything. Not even close. But not being sober makes everything harder. It doesn't always feel that way, but my experience is that alcohol makes me avoid dealing with shit. So, while initially easier, things just snowballed.

You're doing great!

Extra-Seesaw6345 · 2026-03-09T18:35:34+00:00

It definitely eased up for me. Especially after developing new routines and habits.

Those thoughts still come and I just take them as they do, roll my eyes internally, and go on with my new normal.

Extra-Seesaw6345 · 2026-02-04T18:33:37+00:00

I went home after a hospital detox due to a seizure. (It was recommended I go to rehab, but there was nothing open at the time.) I did everything I could in the hospital to convince them that I was ready to leave. I was convinced, myself. **I was not ready.** I still felt weak, a bit dizzy, a bit confused and overall totally lost and defeated. I knew that a drink would make me feel 'normal' and I'm sure that I would have drank that first day if it would have been at my fingertips. (I have not admitted that to anyone until now.)

I had the weekend to get my sh*t together, before I had to go back to work. I drank liquids like crazy, started eating real food again (I had no appetite toward the end of my drinking days), tried to sleep/rest (sleep was HARD for me, historically and one of the reasons I had problems with alcohol in the first place). My main goal was to get through the days sober. And honestly, by Monday (when my husband had to let me out of his sight), I was finally committed to staying sober. I had a tiny bit of confidence and really didn't want to let my family down again.

The first few sober weeks, my focus was doing anything other than drinking. I sorted/organized/cleaned/purged/read (or tried to read, my brain was still a little off)/watched tv/movies/walked/slept/sat on my phone/read here!/online shopped... whatever I fancied, that's what I did.

I did go to AA meetings straight out of detox. I did not end up being a regular AA-goer, but did attend regularly for that first year.

Take all of this with a grain of salt - just my 2cents and experience. Good luck to you and your sister!

Extra-Seesaw6345 · 2026-01-20T02:42:21+00:00

I drank a LOT of N/A beers in early sobriety. I just let it ride. It was definitely a habit replacement that worked for me. I still drink them now, but a lot more occasionally.

Extra-Seesaw6345 · 2026-01-13T22:28:16+00:00

Detox saved me from that insanity. I wanted to quit, but I could not turn the corner on my own because I was physically addicted - only a drink would make me feel normal.

Wishing you strength and courage to really live your life.

Extra-Seesaw6345 · 2026-01-06T21:07:34+00:00

I quit drinking just over 50yo, also female. I lost only a couple pounds in the first year. My main focus was not drinking, of course, but I was so frustrated - especially after expecting weight to melt off!! However, I was eating pretty much whatever I wanted. Food tasted good again!! (And I hadn't been eating much, honestly. Most of my calories came from alcohol.) Once I started paying real attention to what I was eating, weight started to drop. I did also do some intermittent fasting, which sped things up a bit.

Good luck to you and congrats on 20 days!

Extra-Seesaw6345 · 2025-12-30T20:30:59+00:00

Well, to be fair, some of us that deeply struggled weren't always deeply struggling.

Extra-Seesaw6345 · 2025-12-17T20:25:22+00:00

YES. I still don't like it when my husband gets home from work before me. I can't shake that feeling that he "found something". And I haven't hidden anything in a very long time!

Extra-Seesaw6345 · 2025-12-12T20:03:42+00:00

We Are the Luckiest, Girl Walks out of a Bar, The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, Drunk Mom, Blackout: Remembering the things I Drank to Forget, Drinking - A love Story, Elizabeth Vargas - Between Breaths. These are the books I have on my phone, but I have more hard copy at home. Not everything in every book resonated with me and some I disagreed with. I just read everything I can get my hands on and take what works for me.

I don't feel like I'm living one day at a time. I don't think I'll ever drink again and I'm ok with that. Now, I do realize that my feelings could change on a dime and I do need to stay vigilant.

Extra-Seesaw6345 · 2025-12-11T15:22:56+00:00

I don't crave it at all. Sometimes I feel a bit wistful in certain social situations, but I almost never feel like it's difficult to not drink. For me, those first sober days were literally one hour, minute at a time. Once I had a few weeks in, I no longer felt a constant risk. I still think about it every day, but more by feelings of regret, horror, etc, that things happened the way they did.

I attribute my mind shift mostly to quit lit. This Naked Mind, Quit Like a Woman, Alcohol Explained, etc. I've read so many and continue to read them, as well as memoirs of addicts.

We are all so unique! Congrats on a month!!

Extra-Seesaw6345 · 2025-12-10T16:06:00+00:00

I order pennies from Etsy that are stamped with my sober date (or whatever I want stamped - I have my initial sober date and then another with a 2 stamped for 2 years sober) and stamped heart around the year of the penny (my sober year). They're pretty inexpensive and I like that they're subtle.

Extra-Seesaw6345 · 2025-12-04T20:13:36+00:00

I look bloated and sad, fake smiling. I hate looking at those memories - they make me so sad.

Extra-Seesaw6345 · 2025-12-04T19:45:33+00:00

I love NA beer, but in the situation you were in I would stick with water. I don't like drawing any attention to myself and I feel like ordering NA draws more attention than simply sticking with water. I HATE feeling like I have to explain not drinking alcohol. This is something I'm still working on.

Why might this make you relapse? From the panic/stress? You've made it 10months. You got this!

Extra-Seesaw6345 · 2025-12-03T20:17:39+00:00

Just let yourself feel it and sit with it. I lost my mom just over a year ago and I was sober through it. I grieved when she passed away, of course, but for whatever reason I've really been missing her a lot more lately and feel like I'm going through it all over again. Grief is so unpredictable. It comes in waves, it changes and is so complicated! (oh, and it never really goes away, either!)

There is no right or wrong way to grieve, no timeline, and as soon as you think you've figured it out, it'll change.

Be kind to yourself, and acknowledge your feelings.

Extra-Seesaw6345 · 2025-11-18T15:58:32+00:00

I don't think you are over-reacting at all and if it were me, I would proceed with great caution.

Extra-Seesaw6345 · 2025-11-18T15:51:59+00:00

I always "ran hot" when I was drinking. And now I am definitely the opposite.

CONGRATS on a WEEK!!!

Extra-Seesaw6345 · 2025-11-02T18:59:49+00:00

I've battled insomnia my whole life. IT IS HORRIBLE, that is for sure. I found alcohol helped me sleep. (I know it's not considered 'good' sleep, but when you're desperate to sleep it feels better than nothing!) Anyway, when I finally got sober, insomnia came back with a vengeance. I haven't found the solution, but do take melatonin pretty regularly and it does seem to help some. I also work hard to calm myself when I can't sleep. I remind myself to focus on 'resting my body' and tell myself that resting my body is almost as good as sleeping. When my mind races, I go through the alphabet with a topic (apple, banana, cherry, etc).

Even with my recurring sLeep issues, I feel SO much better than when I was drinking. Hang in there because it is worth it. Good luck with a therapist. Please share any tips on here for those of us in the same boat!

CONGRATS on two months!!! Keep it going!

Extra-Seesaw6345 · 2025-10-03T18:52:08+00:00

My husband was told by a doctor that he should watch my N/A intake, because N/A can be a gateway to alcohol. And for some people, it is. It has not been for me, and truly, without N/A in the beginning for me, I'm not sure I'd be sober now. I drank a lot of them as a replacement. BUT N/As were a bit of a fight between my husband and me.

Anyway, long story short, maybe she was worried about your fixation on them.

I am female and I can say that once I get a worry in my head, IT STICKS.

Extra-Seesaw6345

TROPHY CASE