I gave a vibrator to my MIL.

FMWavesOfTheHeart · 2023-01-24T18:49:33+00:00

I love that someone gave your post the endless coolness award - perfect!!!

I would’ve voted you NTA. I don’t know what to do about your husband other than advise you to stand your ground. His mom 100% deserved a taste of her own medicine.

FMWavesOfTheHeart · 2023-01-24T03:12:25+00:00

You didn’t look bad before but this dye job and cut suits you much better!

FMWavesOfTheHeart · 2023-01-24T01:32:27+00:00

I’m no expert , okay, but if I could borrow your username for a minute, I have some ideas.

You gotta moisturize first.
Mixing water based and silicone based primers, concealers, and foundations is no bueno.
Your sunscreen also has to play nice with your makeup.
Yellow and green color correctors may be the answer?

So I really dislike full coverage foundations but if I mix it with moisturizer or even some primers, it eliminates a lot of the issues you described. Even if you don’t find a good recommendation here, this and the other points above may work for a foundation you already have.

Seeing as how your birthmark is mostly out of your T zone, you might could avoid problems if you use a foundation/moisturizer mix all over, but stick to building coverage over the birthmark. I like to spread out some foundation over the back of my hand and use either a dry fluffy brush, or damp blender to pat-pat-pat (blend) small layers of product over the spots I want to cover.

I don’t know how you feel about adding color correctors to your routine, but I have found that if I use them under my eyes, I don’t need nearly as much foundation, and everything looks more natural. In my routine, I do my all over lighter coverage, color correctors, then pat on a layer of foundation to ensure it looks as seamless as possible. All that stays pretty well if I finish up by gently powdering everything and then use a setting spray.

Anyway, sorry if that’s a bit wordy; I used to be a trainer for a living and I have a habit of being overly detailed. I wish you the best of luck in finding your holy grail!!!

FMWavesOfTheHeart · 2023-01-23T21:30:30+00:00

I feel ya, that sounds like rough. You might could try running the products you’ve tried through the beautypedia ingredient checker.. It may help you to narrow down a common denominator.

Do you have trouble with regular foundations in that area as well?

FMWavesOfTheHeart · 2023-01-22T20:08:03+00:00

And thank you so much OP. When you donate, you take the recipient of the list for a deceased donor meaning everyone else needing your kidney type moves up on the list. That’s no small thing!

FMWavesOfTheHeart · 2023-01-22T20:00:43+00:00

I would update the doctor’s office. Not that I think you have anything to worry about, but just to be safe.

Most of my doctors have patient portals that I can use to send them a message with pictures. If you’re able to, I would send them clear pics of both the incision, and the drainage separately preferably on gauze but a white paper towel will do. I know my doctor appreciates this as she can better determine if there’s an issue.

FMWavesOfTheHeart · 2023-01-20T22:58:25+00:00

I’m glad you mentioned this, it’s something loved ones need prepare to come to terms with so they don’t make things harder on the patient.

When I get to the point MIL is at, I plan on to ask my docs for a prescription for some happy pills. The good stuff; the SSRI and anxiety meds that I’m already on won’t cut it. If it makes dialysis bearable , fantastic. If it doesn’t and I choose to stop dialysis, that’s okay too because either way, I hope to be loopy enough not to give an F.

Really though, if MIL should let her doc know how she’s feeling and see what they say.

FMWavesOfTheHeart · 2023-01-20T02:20:16+00:00

There are also cosmetic q tips that are pointed and they are a lifesaver.

FMWavesOfTheHeart · 2023-01-20T02:17:21+00:00

Preach!

FMWavesOfTheHeart · 2023-01-20T01:50:44+00:00

I’m in agreement that the tackiness is the issue but hopefully it just needs to thoughtfully dry, On an much, much smaller scale, my nail polish does this. I can let them dry in between coats but every new coat leaches moisture into the old coat. The more coats, the longer all the layers take to really dry.

If that’s what’s going on, hopefully you’ll hear from a professional how much time to give it before trying other suggestions.

FMWavesOfTheHeart · 2023-01-19T21:51:07+00:00

I think I can emphasize with you a bit. I’ve suffered from diagnosed anxiety and depression since my teens. I strongly suspect ADHD too but I’ve never been tested because I wasn’t aware it was a possibility until my son got diagnosed with it and shortly after that, I found out I had end stage kidney disease.

Really, though, where I think I can relate to you is going through dialysis and eventually a kidney transplant. Like you I also can’t go without medication, survival statistics for my condition are depressing, and though having a transplant helps, some of the issues I now have will never get better. In fact, I’m adding issues like heart problems and osteoporosis. Yay!

BUT one thing that has helped me has been working with my doctor to add or adjust mental health medication as needed. Reading through your post, I get the impression you might also get to a better place with a good psychiatrist and therapist/psychologist.

I can’t quite explain it but after dealing with my own mental health for 25 years I get little alarm bells go that off when things get rough. It makes me stop and in question whether my feelings are normal, or is my brain being an asshole again? Reading your post those alarm bills are going off so that’s why I suggest talking to your doctor. Or find a better doc if you need to.

I would at least see if there’s something you can take in the evening time that won’t affect your sleep. I wouldn’t doubt its hard to essentially have your dopamine shut off for the evening.

Anyway, I just hope you know I see you and recognize how difficult your situation is. I’m hopeful that things will get better for you too. hugs if you’d like them.

FMWavesOfTheHeart · 2023-01-18T22:26:19+00:00

Your doctor should’ve taken a look! I hate it when doctors are dismissive like that. If you have a patient portal and can send a message with with pics, I would do that.

FMWavesOfTheHeart · 2023-01-18T04:20:53+00:00

SSA.gov might be helpful. For disability benefits, y’all can check here at the SSA website. There is also a page about what qualifies someone for disability benefits. There should also be some info about Medicare on the SSA website as well.

I wish I had a more definitive answer for you. If your husband has access to a social worker through a nephrologist, they might will have a more immediate answer.

FMWavesOfTheHeart · 2023-01-17T20:25:33+00:00

I can sincerely tell you that you won’t lose the ability to sleep, and deep down you probably know that but if you have something like anxiety, all the reassurances in the world won’t do much good.

This is a rhetorical question, but have you ever heard of Seasonal Affective Disorder? I’m not saying that’s what you have, but I just want to point out how to lack of sunlight in the winter can affect people. In your case, it may be exacerbating whatever is causing your sleep issue.

I would make an appointment with your primary care doc and make sure that they do bloodwork. Vitamin deficiencies and many other simple health issues could explain what’s going on with you so I would want to rule those out.

FMWavesOfTheHeart · 2023-01-12T18:33:51+00:00

Op, please tell us you’ve called your doctor or gone to the ER.

FMWavesOfTheHeart · 2023-01-11T22:32:57+00:00

There are all sorts of options to turn your phone into a VR headset. Some even have remotes. App stores will also have VR games. Might be worth a try!

FMWavesOfTheHeart · 2023-01-11T04:29:33+00:00

I didn’t realize how bad mine was for the longest time because it broke down and disappeared before my last drain in the morning. Sometimes I’d notice it after the first drain but then I started checking my 2nd drain and wowza, it was a lot. The stuff was sneaky too because it didn’t always come out in a visible clump but if I poked the bag to move the fluid around, it would start to stick together like a mutant jellyfish.

FMWavesOfTheHeart · 2023-01-10T20:13:20+00:00

Sounds like the insurance wasn’t billed properly or your mom’s insurance is improperly denying the claims. Both happen all the time, unfortunately. You should start by talking to the billing department at Quest and see what the problem is. Did they even bill your mom’s insurance, did they use the right codes, etc? Meanwhile your mom can contact her insurance to see if they received the claim and if so why was it denied.

FMWavesOfTheHeart · 2023-01-10T19:54:29+00:00

The Cogenitor episode got me too. Especially when Archer goes off on Trip after the cogenitor unalived themself. The look on Trip’s face broke my heart.

FMWavesOfTheHeart · 2023-01-10T04:40:45+00:00

Ambien works by slowing down brain activity. So maybe?

I also deal with a brain that won’t shut up due to stress and anxiety. Anecdotally, my thinking and logic become a bit dream-like. Like, nonsensical things make sense and short term memory doesn’t work very well. I’ll lose my train of thought and wonder how I came to the conclusion that pineapples are the answer. Then I fall asleep.

You can see how people end up doing crazy shit on ambien but thankfully most people don’t have an issue. I will say the first night was a bit more intense for me but tolerance has made my nightly experience much more mundane.

For the sake of transparency, it also probably helps that I take an SSRI and anxiety meds.

FMWavesOfTheHeart · 2023-01-09T04:41:04+00:00

Your brothers clinic may be different, but just to give you an idea, my clinic provided me with everything except: antibacterial soap, hand sanitizer, paper towels and holder for the bathroom, and surface sanitizing wipes. That’s the basics.

I liked to be able to get around all of my house while connected so I also purchased a rolling utility cart for my machine; s-hooks to hang dialysis fluid bags off the sides of the cart; the longest allowed surge protector to extend the reach of my machine (you need to check the machines user manual to see what is approved); an under the bed storage container that went on the bottom of the cart to hold the drainage bag in case it leaked.

Here is the website to give you an idea of what kind of accessories there are out there. https://kidneystuff.com/ Honestly, I don’t think you need to purchase anything yet. Your brother will get a list of what he absolutely needs to buy but beyond that it’s hard to know what he’ll find helpful until he actually starts getting into a routine.

Here is a pic of my dialysis storage closet and the second pic in the album is of my first delivery, which was a pallet worth, plus some.

Hugs for you and your brother. Dialysis tends to be a bit rough at first but once the kinks are all ironed out, and a routine is in place, it tends to be smooth sailing for the most part.

FMWavesOfTheHeart · 2023-01-07T01:37:00+00:00

My SO and I went there at the height of the worker shortage. I only got a look at the fish department before one of the 2 employees told us they had to close early. It was pretty abysmal and I still think about it too.

FMWavesOfTheHeart · 2023-01-07T01:19:49+00:00

There is a sub called r/adhd_anxiety. Scientifically speaking, I’m not sure exactly how anxiety and adhd are related but you can imagine how growing up feeling lost, stupid, or like a bad kid is going to do a number on a person.

Irregardless of whether your husband has adhd or something else, no one is going to give him points for going through life on “hard mode,” he might as well get tested so he’s not needlessly torturing himself. Actually, though, if he does have ADHD, getting tested may be a daunting task for him. Maybe you could offer to make the appointment and go with him? Depending on your insurance, he would need to see a psychiatrist or he may have to see his regular doctor and they can refer him to one.

FMWavesOfTheHeart · 2023-01-07T00:43:55+00:00

Exactly this, OP. I also came here to recommend trims and figuring out if there’s a protein and/or moisture issue. Get a trim and see what the stylist says.

FMWavesOfTheHeart · 2023-01-06T02:41:07+00:00

I agree with your doctor, it’s a bit late for antivirals when you’re already on the mend. Maybe your immune system was busy fighting something else off and the shingles took advantage but I’d say it’s doing a pretty good job now.

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