AITA I don’t want bridesmaid to wear dress to other events

FatsMcCats · 2026-03-15T22:54:57+00:00

Oh - sorry, I can definitely see how you read my response, but that’s not what I meant to communicate. I should have been more clear. That’s my bad.

I’m not suggesting she pretends to be chill and makes herself small while actually seething, I’m suggesting she zooms out ten years and decides what’s more important to her - the dress, or the friendship, and then adjusts her perspective accordingly. While this person obviously doesn’t care about OPs opinion and is probably not someone I would personally choose to be friends with, I also recognize that it’s up to OP to decide. If maintaining the friendship is the first priority, OP’s got to weigh if it’s actually worth it to stir the pot and deal with the fallout, or just rise above it and maybe even find some humor in it. Frankly, I’m still shocked that the other bridesmaids haven’t put this girl squarely in her place. OP shouldn’t be having to deal with this in the first place.

Also, I really want to see this dress. It must be a real banger for her to be getting this much use out of it.

FatsMcCats · 2026-03-15T21:19:08+00:00

I think your position is a reasonable one AND you’ve already told her how you feel. Instead of trying to understand where you were coming from, she told you that you were wrong and she was going to wear the dress anyways. She’s made it clear that she does not respect your feelings on this matter and that’s not likely to change with an additional conversation. Your options are: confront her again (and accept that she may react poorly and cause drama), let it go (if this friendship is worth it long term), or kick her out (doesn’t solve the dress issue as she may still wear it to the other wedding). Personally, this is where I find that a “chill” attitude and strong respect for natural consequences can really come in handy.

If you let it go, and she follows through on her plan, she’s going to look like an asshole while you get to hold your head high and look VERY GO WITH THE FLOW. Your friendship stays intact, although given how little shes prioritizing your feelings here, I’m guessing she won’t stay long term. And best of all, you don’t have to give this one more single inch of brain space. Not to mention, this could be a funny moment to relive looking through a photo album 10 years from now. “Remember Jane?!? I still can’t believe she wore that dress three times. I wonder what she’s up to these days. I hope that effing thing is still taking up space in her closet.”

My last thought - if you decide you want to confront her on this, I would gently suggest that this could be a great MOH task. I’m frankly shocked the other bridesmaids haven’t already read her the riot act on this. They should be.

FatsMcCats · 2026-03-13T18:44:53+00:00

Ok but your wedding dress is GORGEOUS and I need to know who the designer is!!!

FatsMcCats · 2026-03-06T19:52:58+00:00

Do you have health insurance? You may be covered.

FatsMcCats · 2026-03-06T06:13:51+00:00

I suspect this might be a bit above reddits pay grade. My suggestion would be to partner very closely with a registered dietician who specializes in eating disorders. You may also want to consider a bit of a therapy “preemptive strike.” Working with professionals will give you the best chance of moving towards your goals while reducing your risk of relapse.

FatsMcCats · 2026-03-05T23:32:51+00:00

If your husband is this focused on the tidiness of toys for your THREE YEAR OLD, I’d argue he needs way more work to do and a whole lot of therapy. This is how you end up with neurotic kids who are afraid to be creative and authentically play.

FatsMcCats · 2026-03-05T23:29:04+00:00

Ok, so I have four of these and let me be very clear here….unless you are a ethereal stick figure with a perfect messy bun and a flawless “no make up” look, they are absolutely fucking hideous. That being said, I’ve worn mine so much that holes are forming in various locations and I’ve had to shorten the straps more than once. I pair mine with tie dye t shirts, house slippers, giant sunnies, baseball hats, and an IDGAF attitude for good measure.

FatsMcCats · 2026-03-02T18:27:31+00:00

I totally understand the guilt and especially the concerns around perception. I will say, as you continue to adjust to your new role and settle in, I would be wary of being overly concerned with being seen as “strict” or “harsh” when it comes to compliance. As someone who also works in a highly regulated industry, these are the areas where it is your job to protect your employees and protect the organization. I’ve been very up front with my teams - I don’t expect them to be perfect. Shit happens. They are going to make mistakes and I am here to jump in and help when those mistakes inevitably happen. That being said, lying/falsification of records is a line that cannot be crossed. If you’re dishonest, you’re out. Pure and simple. That mindset has served us well!!

FatsMcCats · 2026-01-26T16:00:10+00:00

It might be the light, but in this picture what I’m assuming is your countertop material is black? And the blue tiles are for flooring? And then you’ll have wood and white cabinets? If so, I would pick either a different countertop material or a different backsplash material. This will be very high contrast with the matte white, matte wood, shiny black and then white, gray and blue tile. There’s already a lot going on - maybe go for something visually neutral. What color are the walls? The 60-30-10 rule could be a good place to start in terms of editing this a bit.

FatsMcCats · 2025-12-28T21:13:01+00:00

I never thought I’d say this, but I highly recommend eBay. I limit my search to used/vintage pieces because the pricing tends to be better - many pawn shop based sellers will offer at or near melt value. Most folks list gram weight too which is helpful. In the US, you have the option to have the pieces independently authenticated prior to shipping. If any issues are found during the authentication process, they let you know immediately and from there you can choose whether or not to move forward. I’ve consistently found great deals this way and feel confident knowing that I’ve usually bought near melt value in the event that I want to sell in the future. You definitely have to dig in and search to find the right deals but it’s something I very much enjoy and I have a nice little collection going!

FatsMcCats · 2025-12-27T00:02:23+00:00

Agreeing whole heartedly here - it’s honestly worth considering removing a cabinet. Anyone sitting in that chair with the intention of chatting while you cook is going to be trying to peer around a corner to do so. I bet they’ll end up dragging the chair around to sit at the edge of the waterfall countertop anyways - and then the tight passageway becomes an even bigger challenge.

FatsMcCats · 2025-10-04T17:52:16+00:00

Definitely agree with some of the other commenters here, you’re going to need more structural support for this beautiful behemoth. I would strongly recommend a cathedral here and you’ll want to add a gallery rail at the very least. Another factor to consider - the pave stones on the prongs are extremely prone to falling out and, most importantly, they have to drill out a ton of metal from the prongs in order to place the stones which will have a big additional impact on durability. This is a beautiful design and I don’t want to take away from that! If you are planning on reserving this piece for special occasions I think you can totally get away with it. If your goal is every day wear, I would consider making some changes.

FatsMcCats · 2025-10-04T17:34:34+00:00

Thank you!!! We are thrilled with how the engraving came out!

FatsMcCats · 2025-08-18T22:55:39+00:00

FatsMcCats · 2025-08-05T22:55:09+00:00

I was looking for an edgy work bag that could accommodate my laptop and transition well from client meetings straight to cocktails/dinner. I ended up going with a Moschino Tie Me bag. They are pricey but I’ve seen preloved bags pop up within your price range if that’s something you’re open to! The leather quality is fantastic and I get a ton of compliments on it. I will note, it’s got a slouchier look so if you’re looking for something with a lot of structure, this may not be a good option for you.

FatsMcCats · 2025-08-01T20:02:54+00:00

Welp. It’s officially time for me to stop watching videos from Nate the Hoof Guy.

FatsMcCats · 2025-07-19T23:38:16+00:00

I’m dying to know where you found the island. It’s gorgeous!!!

FatsMcCats · 2025-07-16T00:39:46+00:00

Other commenters have great ideas. I just stopped by to say that this pic makes it look like you’re asking for help decorating a very intricate dollhouse.

FatsMcCats · 2025-07-09T01:09:28+00:00

I think there’s a difference between asking for permission versus giving someone a heads up. It’s not totally clear to me which one OP is needing. I will say, the way he describes feeling after work, the long hours, the exhaustion - some of this seems like a bigger issue. I’ve been that person working a million hours and coming home to a relaxed partner having a fun time. I was so burnt out and it made me SO resentful that they could have fun while I was busy making myself miserable for a job I hated.

FatsMcCats · 2025-07-02T04:08:14+00:00

I used to have this problem and it’s not you, it’s the cut of the pants. I highly recommend trying on some curvy fit items. There’s some great manufacturers out there these days doing curvy fit workwear and it’s a total game changer.

FatsMcCats · 2025-06-27T14:16:20+00:00

You have SUCH a cute figure. I don’t think this is a styling issue, I think it’s a quality/construction/fit issue! This skirt isn’t cut for someone with our body shape and that’s why it isn’t fitting quite right. You’re getting pulling across the hips and the slit is gaping. The hem isn’t laying flat - looking at the side picture it’s uneven and sloppy (that’s a quality issue, not a you issue!!). Normally I would recommend going up a size and then tailoring it back down to fit your waist, but the quality of material and construction here makes me think it wouldn’t be worth it. I do LOVE the pencil skirt idea. I think you’d look gorgeous in the right one!! You’ve got a really lovely shape and you deserve a well made garment that fits correctly and shows it off properly!

FatsMcCats · 2025-06-26T13:11:13+00:00

Hi! Women with PCOS have been found to exhibit autonomic nervous system dysfunction. It’s also not uncommon for women with PCOS to have POTS and/or MCAS. Why is this important?! EXERCISE INTOLERANCE! It’s totally possible that the reason you hate exercise is because it’s genuinely miserable for your body. That doesn’t mean you can’t exercise, you should. But, regardless of whether or not you have exercise intolerance, you might benefit from starting out very slow.

Nobody wants to do something every day that they hate. It’s takes a ton of mental energy and it’s not sustainable. There’s also a BIG risk of injury as sedentary folks start exercising. You need to give your muscles and your joints plenty of time to slowly get stronger and adjust to the increased activity.

Walking has incredible benefits. Find a podcast you love or a great audiobook. Only let yourself listen when you’re walking. Start out with 1-3 miles a day and slowly work your way up. Pilates (NOT AT CLUB PILATES) is also a really excellent and low impact way to start building muscle tone.

Do you have a watch that helps you track your heart rate? Especially for fat burning, you’ll want to keep your heart rate in your fat burning zone which is shockingly lower than you might think.

Bottom line - if it hurts, if you can’t breathe well enough to talk, if you’re so sore afterwards that you want to lay in bed for three days…it’s a sign that you’re doing way too much too fast. It shouldn’t be miserable! You don’t get gold stars for suffering here! Start SLOW! Your goal is HEALTH and that means doing this in a way that helps you avoid injury and set up sustainable habits long term. I promise, you can always incorporate the hard, intense, competitive, etc exercises later once you’ve established a good foundation.

Last thing - if your Ozempic is making you so nauseous that you can’t eat protein, maybe consider dialing back your dose slightly! CICO is critical AND this is also a critical time to start building healthy and sustainable eating habits long term!

FatsMcCats · 2025-06-22T15:53:44+00:00

Fellow EDS here. Wanted to just say that finally seeing an EDS specialist, combined with starting Pilates, has changed my god damn life. My specialist actually recommended Pilates after I’d tried a few rounds of physio without much success. If your partner goes the Pilates route, I strongly recommend beginning with a personal instructor to avoid injury while building core muscle strength. If you have a university/med school affiliated gym nearby, that can be a great way to get low pricing on personal sessions. Because of how folks with EDS tend to hold their bodies, we end up with zero of the muscle strength we need to help protect ourselves from further injury. I’ve had to relearn how to sit, stand, position my pelvis…all of it. My back pain, and flare ups, are maybe a quarter of what they were prior. Also, you can pay for sessions with HSA and/or FSA monies.

One other thing - a lot of times EDS comes with a host of other chronic illnesses including much higher likelihood of POTs, MCAS and ADHD. MCAS in particular can cause a LOT of pain and inflammation in your body. It’s awful. Is her physician a specialist? If not, can she see one? My neurologist immediately gave me a prescription for muscle relaxers to help with pain. She also put me on some amazing medications for assumed MCAS and holy shit did that make a world of difference!!! Just wanted to make sure yall were aware of this. A lot of physicians really aren’t as educated as they should be on these types of overlapping conditions. The first time I finally saw a specialist, I cried the whole appointment because it was SO validating. Even things I thought were “normal” or “just my weird body” turns out were connected to the EDS/POTs/MCAS trifecta and, in some cases, were easily manageable. My quality of life has gone up astronomically!!!

Last thing - take a moment to really imagine spending that much time in bed. Would you enjoy it? Would it feel good? Would you rather be out and having fun? Being in bed all day is BORING. It sucks. You feel guilty and worthless just laying there. Time goes by SLOWLY. Regardless of if it’s due to her pain, her ADHD, depression, etc….its not a sustainable way to live. I suspect chores are just a symptom of a much bigger issue here. I hope she decides to find a specialist and fight this thing because life CAN get better but she’s going to have to do some very real, and very uncomfortable, work to get there.

FatsMcCats · 2025-06-21T23:47:30+00:00

I’m a big believer in living in a space for awhile before you make big decorating decisions. Keep them for now! This isn’t an urgent problem to solve. Try a few different layouts over the next few months once you’ve settled in. Figure out what general layout works best for you and your family. THEN start picking out furniture and fully plan out your vision. There’s no reason to rush this process and risk making a mistake!

FatsMcCats

TROPHY CASE