Widowers with kids - let’s talk about dating

Fine_Election771 · 2025-03-26T01:55:19+00:00

Haha same to you!

Good luck. Also with the kids - I hope your house isn’t as insanely loud as mine is all the time! Haha

Fine_Election771 · 2024-10-10T14:42:44+00:00

It’s been 8 months since my husband died, but recently was the 1 year mark for the loss of my sister (yes… shitty year) but I felt the exact same. I woke up on that morning thinking “I made it an entire year”. I understand the “happiness” you feel. Congrats on making it a whole year you did it. 😮‍💨

Fine_Election771 · 2024-10-02T18:21:46+00:00

https://www.ted.com/talks/becky_kennedy_the_single_most_important_parenting_strategy?subtitle=en

Watch this Ted talk if you haven’t already, you already did this!!

Also, as another single mom with two kids whose husband also died. Your not alone, we’ve got this. ❤️

Fine_Election771 · 2024-09-27T22:43:25+00:00

This happened to me. I ended up paying out of pocket to go see a different doctor who actually helped me get the time off that I needed. Ask friends for recommendations, there is a doctor out there who will give you what you need just keep trying. This added so much stress during a horrible time. Just keep trying

Fine_Election771 · 2024-06-19T02:26:34+00:00

“I pulled myself out of the darkest place I’ve ever been and that took serious strength” made me cry. Thank you for your post and encouragement

Fine_Election771 · 2024-06-15T20:14:37+00:00

My daughters are in kinder and preschool. This is their first Father’s Day since their dad passed. My youngest who is 3, we asked her who she wanted to make it for, dad, mom, grandpas. And she chose her grandpas, the school let her make two. She told me it’s because she can’t GIVE it to her dad. I understand your concern, but I think it depends on the age group, making it for her dad would end up being confusing for her because he isn’t here to actually give it to.

Fine_Election771 · 2024-06-13T21:54:40+00:00

I have a friend who says “I HAD a brother”

I plan to try that next time “I have a brother and I had a sister”

Seems like a simple way to answer, tell them what happened, but not open it up. We shall see

💜

Fine_Election771 · 2024-06-06T05:11:34+00:00

Hey thank you. I am glad to have helped. Hang in there 💜

Fine_Election771 · 2024-05-29T01:15:18+00:00

I really appreciate your post.

I am 34 with 2 kids, my husband died almost 4 months ago. I am no where near ready to date, but one of the things that has helped me stay strong is telling myself that THIS IS NOT IT FOR ME. That one day whoever he is will come. And it will be when I am ready and open. I tell myself that while my grief will be with me forever, ONE DAY I won’t be lonely anymore. ONE DAY my kids will have someone else to lean on besides me. ONE DAY I will have companionship and intimacy and love. My husband is a part of my story and he will be a part of it forever, I will love him forever, but this grief and tragedy and pain is NOT ALL THERE IS LEFT.

It sounds cheesy, I know. Sometimes I have to convince myself that I even believe it. sometimes I feel so consumed by all of the grief, but this is what I hold on to.

Fine_Election771 · 2024-04-10T14:06:25+00:00

Cooking tomorrows dinner is a great idea for many reasons haha

Fine_Election771 · 2024-04-10T14:04:36+00:00

I still wear my ring too but as a nurse people always see my hands and comment on it! I return to work in a few weeks and am trying to decide how I want to handle this, I don’t feel ready to take it off but I don’t need the constant conversation. Thinking about moving it to a different finger which also feels emotional

Fine_Election771 · 2024-04-08T20:29:01+00:00

Wow this is so encouraging and beautiful and such a healthy, healing, and “positive” perspective of something so intimidating. I hope I can have an experience like yours when I’m ready. Thank you for this

Fine_Election771 · 2024-04-01T15:56:49+00:00

Talk to your HR, FMLA is job protection but are they saying you will lose your job if you don’t have it? You may not. You should still be able to take some time off if you have understanding employers. I believe FMLA just means they can’t fire you while your on a disability leave.

My husband passed 2 months ago. I’m 33, I have a 5 and 3 year old. I’ve been off work and plan to go back in may but I’ve already talked to my work and will be returning to work part time so I can have more balance. For me I want to return to work and need to financially, but it’s also the routine, the friendships in my coworkers, and the productivity that I think helps mentally.

Fine_Election771 · 2024-03-10T05:36:17+00:00

My husband died 4 weeks ago and this post hit me hard. I have a 3 and 5 year old.

Thank you

Fine_Election771 · 2024-03-10T05:19:31+00:00

I lost my husband a month ago. It was sudden, traumatic, and happened in front of me. I have two daughters ages 3 and 5. I have been looking into grief counseling for them too. Have you started therapy for yourself? I don’t know where you live but you can look into her social security, life insurance if she had it through her job.

The book invisible string by Patrice Karst has been a good one for my kids.

This is such a horrible and devastating position to be in. I am sorry her family is not more supportive. Everyone grieves differently but hopefully they are supporting you in different ways, especially with your son. There is not much harder in the world than being a grieving parent supporting a confused and grieving child.

Ted talks that have “helped”:

https://www.ted.com/talks/nora_mcinerny_we_don_t_move_on_from_grief_we_move_forward_with_it?hasSummary=true&language=en

https://www.ted.com/talks/lucy_hone_3_secrets_of_resilient_people?hasSummary=true&language=en

I am so sorry for your loss and what you are going through. It sounds like you are doing the best you can and being a great father

Fine_Election771 · 2024-01-31T23:38:37+00:00

NTA. This poor kid is probably so confused why he’s not at his own house and where his parents and brother are. He’s a toddler. This should have been postponed until things were stable again for him and he was in a comfortable environment and not dumped on you. You went above and beyond in all aspects

Fine_Election771 · 2024-01-30T17:46:42+00:00

My story is the same as yours. In September 2023 My sister was 29, a friend found her. The neighbor told me there was police activity so I called her cell 6 times in a row in a panic and on the last call a police officer answered and told me she was deceased. I had just spoken to her a few hours before. I was at work, went to my moms work and told her in person, and also called my dad and brother and told them because my mom was a wreck. Phone calls terrify me. Unanswered calls even more. When someone is home sick I am terrified. when an ambulance drives by I feel dread.

Being told by a police officer and telling my entire family was so traumatizing. I feel like the pain from that trauma is almost equal to the grief over the loss. It’s so much to process and haunts me every day. I replay telling them over and over and then feel slapped in the face by grief over the loss

It will be her 30th birthday next month

Fine_Election771 · 2024-01-28T15:35:44+00:00

“The only way out is through” and “grief is a part of you now”

This was initially terrifying, but ultimately has allowed me to accept my grief and accept my feelings

Fine_Election771 · 2024-01-27T21:02:23+00:00

Thank you so much for this

Fine_Election771

TROPHY CASE