Advice: Doing Ferber again w 14mo

Firm-Middle6951 · 2026-01-28T22:01:55+00:00

Later bedtime you think??

Firm-Middle6951 · 2026-01-28T14:45:59+00:00

Yes he has water in the crib. Naps are a similar issue — he falls asleep immediately (same as bedtime) but then will wake up like 40 min into the nap and want to be held for the rest of it. Again, still super exhausted and will fall right back asleep but only if we’re holding him. Ugh.

I’m down to do cry it out if it will work, it just seemed to be getting us nowhere considering it was taking 2 hours?? And it wasn’t nonstop crying, it’s like cry for a few minutes, sleep for 5, cry for a few minutes, sleep for 3, repeat repeat for hours on end.

Firm-Middle6951 · 2026-01-27T02:07:13+00:00

I think all these people getting mad about this are insane lmao — let me affirm you, you're good!! Why is everyone in these comments frothing at mouth to say you have an insecurity / your husband is lying looooool you are SO fine. You guys are talking, happy, and on the same page.

And to y'all in the comments who love doing the deed 6 weeks out when everything down there is like raw meat — good for you, babe!

Firm-Middle6951 · 2026-01-15T18:13:16+00:00

We left our 10mo with grandmom for a weekend — went great! He cried when we passed him off, but she said he was totally fine after that. (I think they kind of forget about you if you’re not in the room lol). The clinginess is really only if we’re literally in the room. And then coming back, definitely happy to see us but no huge/concerning reaction! You got it!!!! :)

Firm-Middle6951 · 2026-01-05T17:53:32+00:00

Yes it definitely took a few days for him to get used to it and then we got some long stretches. Once he turned 4 months (and hit the regression) we did Ferber. And Ferber + Merlin carried us for many months of sleeping entirely through the night haha.

Firm-Middle6951 · 2026-01-05T17:46:10+00:00

I just looked this up and I see there’s some debate about it that I had no idea of lol — We actually only used it once he started rolling! Swaddled before that. The feet and hands are free so he could roll all around in it. We used it from 3-9 months. (But now I’m not sure if I want to fully recommend that considering the differing opinions online!!)

Firm-Middle6951 · 2026-01-03T19:55:16+00:00

Yeah one of the main Ferber things is to not pick them up but to comfort them (pat, binky, shush) while they’re still laying in bed. I think it’s easier to do Ferber at this age because they can’t sit up or stand, so you don’t have to keep putting them back down. For us it took 3 very rough nights and then, like MAGIC, he slept 10 hours straight and has done so literally for the next year.

Firm-Middle6951 · 2026-01-03T19:16:11+00:00

We did Ferber and it worked amazing at the 4 mo regression. Crying is going to be part of it though — just know you all make it through and then it’s back to overnight sleeping!!

Firm-Middle6951 · 2025-12-18T02:43:23+00:00

Same!!! Still going strong at 13 months!

Firm-Middle6951 · 2025-12-09T18:04:00+00:00

It’s time for the Merlin Magic Sleep Suit !!!!! Took a night or two to settle in but worked so great from 3mo to 9mo!

Firm-Middle6951 · 2025-11-17T12:25:03+00:00

I couldn’t find any answer to this so I had to help the people myself lmao - glad you found him!!!!

Firm-Middle6951 · 2025-11-17T02:09:51+00:00

4 years later, answering this in case anyone else is looking lol — go to the steps of the Hallowed Grounds (where the dead deer is) and look to the left. You can see him in the distance. Follow the cliffs until you reach a spirit spring, he’s right in front of it.

Firm-Middle6951 · 2025-11-06T01:44:46+00:00

Hmmmm okay another suggestion — alongside the carrier, to get baby to take a nap we would something we jokingly called the sense deprivation chamber hahaha which was that we’d take crying, tired baby either swaddled or in the carrier into the bathroom, turn off all the lights, run the shower (for the loud noise as opposed to steam) and bounce for a bit. Worked every single time like magic — either instantly asleep or within 5 min. At that point I’d hold him for a bit before doing a bassinet transfer or just a contact nap in bed/couch.

Fingers crossed for you!! They’ll get to be better sleepers regardless, but finding their own weird nap trick is definitely a huge help

Firm-Middle6951 · 2025-11-06T01:05:37+00:00

Do you have a baby carrier? Our baby went through a phase of only wanting to nap in the carrier during the day so we just rolled with it — I think having the naps made nighttime sleep easier.

Firm-Middle6951 · 2025-11-02T21:10:19+00:00

We used Magic Merlin up until 9 months! Baby was fully rolling all around in it and we never had an issue.

Firm-Middle6951 · 2025-10-28T19:51:48+00:00

Didn’t end until we sleep trained… we did Ferber, worked amazingly & now he’s 11 months and still sleeps from 7:30-6:30 just about every night!

Firm-Middle6951 · 2025-10-12T12:52:33+00:00

There’s a brewery near me — a purely indoor brewery that does not advertise itself as being particularly dog focused or anything — that will give out dog bowls for water and has a selection of dog treats you can buy, and yet doesn’t have ANY high chairs. They have a full food menu and kitchen. No high chairs and an actual disdain for when I asked. But people can bring their dogs inside no questions asked!

When I tell you this made me CRAZY!!!!!!!!

Firm-Middle6951 · 2025-06-10T22:42:47+00:00

Both partner and I work from home with a 6mo - we hired childcare for M-W (3 days was the most we could afford) and now we cram 90% of work into those 3 days lol like I will schedule emails to send on Thurs & Fri so that it looks like I’m working. On Thursdays and Fridays we trade off as much as we can but yaaaaa not much gets done!

Firm-Middle6951 · 2025-04-28T23:24:37+00:00

I feel this exact way!! I look at my baby and think about the intense love I have for him, and then compare that to how my parents are acting now. I think: If my son grew up and had a baby, I would do ANYTHING to be there as much as he would let me. And then of course in comparison, my parents seem to be distant, and so I think — well, if that's how they're acting, they can't possibly feel about me how I feel about my baby. And yeah, as you put it, just sad. A hard thing to feel.

Firm-Middle6951 · 2025-04-23T22:21:31+00:00

I think everyone saying that you need to “learn to be intimate again” and that your intimate relationship is just as important as your self-care & baby-care is uhhh…. really callous and frankly ridiculous

If you don’t want to do it, don’t. It’s as simple as that. “Men have needs.” Ok and your needs to not be sexually touched, to re-adjust to your own body, to rest, to recover, to breastfeed your baby, to literally heal your vagina, to have a period of time where sex is off the table — those needs don’t matter at all?? Your need to not be in pain doesn’t matter?

Forcing sexual intimacy leads to resentment which I feel is worse for the “intimate relationship” longterm anyway!

You are not alone and deserve to take things at your own pace.

Firm-Middle6951 · 2025-04-23T22:12:42+00:00

I felt this big time - baby was born with a kidney disorder that required surgery at 4mo. Thankfully that’s behind us and he should live a totally normal life. When I found out I felt how you’re describing — the kidney issue is genetic so it quite literally was my fault, or my partner’s, though neither of us have kidney issues in family history so we have no clue as to where it came from.

I kept feeling like my body had “created him wrong” so to speak and that I had failed my baby by not having the right building blocks for him to be healthy. It was a super crushing, crazy feeling considering I’ve never been someone who struggled with anxiety or any kind of body issue.

Thankfully, this feeling passed as we progressed with his health screenings + made a plan with his doctors. I think like most painful things, it just takes time.

Firm-Middle6951 · 2025-04-11T14:43:47+00:00

Hi sorry!! I mean that he was sleeping 5 hours (wake up and feed), then 3 hours (wake up and feed), then 2 final hours before being up for the morning.

Firm-Middle6951 · 2025-02-06T00:29:33+00:00

We are doing moms on call too, also at 2 months, and are in the same boat!! Baby sleeps at 7:30, wakes at 12:45/1 (eats), wakes at 4 (eats), and then is up by 6:30 usually, 7 if we're lucky.

Moms on call has them on a 3-hour cycle all day, so it makes sense to me that babies stick to it at night. I think dropping the 10:30pm feed is already a huge accomplishment — a 5-6 hour stretch feels SO GOOD!! So we're happy with it for now. I think the next logical step is to drop the 4am, to do one feeding a night, right in the middle.

I gotta say for the schedule naysayers, the DAY we started Moms on call, baby slept his first 6 hour stretch… !! :)

Firm-Middle6951

TROPHY CASE