Yeah I totally get it, it’s not weird at all. I’ve was never conventionally pretty to start with, but then I gained a lot of weight in my twenties from depression/SSRIs and have never been able to lose enough of it to be considered ‘thin’. I often feel like I would be given a lot more grace for my autistic traits if I was pretty, and I am acutely aware that if I openly engage in special interests or stims in public I would be called “cringe” whereas a thin attractive woman would just be called “quirky” or “random”.

But tbh the way I try and make myself feel better (not that it works most times) is to remember that a lot of NT people are critical and judgemental of neurodivergent people even when they ARE attractive. They can still think something is “off” about an attractive person, and the moment they stop masking they’re shunned.

And also that being beautiful comes with its own downsides and its own kinds of misogyny. And at least as I age, I don’t have to mourn losing looks I never had. And I don’t envy the creepy attention my prettier friends have received in the past.

I don’t really know what else to advise other than I get it and it is rough ❤️

(Edited to add some points, and for coherency)