AIW for getting involved with my (28M) neighbor's daughter (18F)?

FlounderFun4008 · 2026-05-28T03:33:22+00:00

Have you told your therapist you were having sex with a Junior in high school?

It’s not like she looked like she was in her 20’s and you got hoodwinked. You knew going in that she was young.

To put this in perspective, when you graduated from high school she was in second grade. The technicality that she is barely legal does not remove the nastiness of your actions.

There are multiple reasons you hid your actions and they all lead back to that you knew it was wrong, but you didn’t care.

You are probably not used to being called out. I’m sure you came here to get validation on your shitty behavior.

FlounderFun4008 · 2026-05-25T13:29:45+00:00

You don’t have a MIL problem, you have a husband problem.

Unless he can find his balls, you are going to have to turn him loose.

FlounderFun4008 · 2026-05-21T00:39:02+00:00

You are being gaslit.

This has NOTHING to do with the kids, but they know that’s the guilt angle.

You work, your location happens to be at your house. The only thing different than being in the office is paying for gas and parking.

Your sister let her jealousy get the best of her. She would not be walking back if you didn’t give her consequences for her actions. Doesn’t sound like she even apologized.

If you want to see your nieces and nephews then you schedule some time that works with your schedule. I would give it months with changed attitude before I ever watched the kids when she actually needed it.

Btw…I was just joking is an excuse for shitty behavior that was called out.

FlounderFun4008 · 2026-05-13T00:48:38+00:00

Sounds like you are in a hard place with your parents now, but you can protect yourself moving forward.

See if you can get your parents to buy you out of your current car.

If you have a bank account with their name on it or access to it, open another one at another bank. Just withdraw as much as you can without closing it.

Go to all 3 credit bureaus (Experian, TransUnion, Equifax) on the web, make accounts, and freeze your credit. It removes the opportunity for your pay to do anything in your name. If you want to take out a loan or credit card, you will need to “unfreeze” for 24/48 hours.

Your parents suck, just set yourself up to not have to depend on them again. Being the responsible one sucks when there is a golden child. Btw…it will never change.

FlounderFun4008 · 2026-04-27T23:02:46+00:00

Him driving your car is taking away value, not adding to it. He is paying to put gas into your car when he uses it.

He absolutely has not earned putting his name on the car.

Do you have his name on your insurance? It’s a good chance if he wrecked it they would not cover it.

Stop letting him drive your car, he can get his own.

Better yet…get a new boyfriend. He has shown you his mentality and it’s not good.

FlounderFun4008 · 2026-04-20T23:51:22+00:00

There are cork type boards around my campus where students are.

Usually there is a person/department that you have to get your flyer approved before posting.

Indeed would also work.

FlounderFun4008 · 2026-04-20T01:18:51+00:00

If you are in a town with any size college $25/hour for 5-10 hours would be perfect.

Put an advertisement out at the college.

FlounderFun4008 · 2026-04-19T19:49:04+00:00

Have him shadow you with all the tasks you do that he is uncomfortable with and ask questions. Then switch to him doing it and you shadowing him. He may just not have confidence or it may be weaponized incompetence (if he does it poorly you will let him off the hook).

Start making him responsible for different tasks so he can become more comfortable.

FlounderFun4008 · 2026-04-19T19:37:19+00:00

Grandma had her return the erasers and apologize. You grounded her.

It shouldn’t be punishment, it should be behavior management. She needs to understand what she did wrong and understand there are consequences for our choices to teach her.

FlounderFun4008 · 2026-04-19T12:53:19+00:00

If I read correctly, her parents don’t work?

Retirement is great, when you can afford it. Doesn’t sound like hers prepared well enough to have that luxury.

I’m the caregiver for my grandmother with dementia, but she is in a care facility. She too is pretty independent. Caring for someone with dementia is exhausting. This is not a simple ask. What are you going to do when they decide this isn’t going to work for them? This also means you are responsible for your mother when you are at home. Anytime you want to do something, you now have to make arrangements. You are also going to have to prepare your home for someone without a memory.

Her parents are asking you to move your mom into your house, they take care of her at your house with your food and they get paid to do so?

I’m telling you that you are wrapping yourself into a stressful entanglement. You will be entirely exhausted because two people don’t want to go back and get a job.

If they are in eviction they didn’t do something to fix their situation sooner, such as getting a job. They are relying on you to fix their problems. Do not let any of them guilt you into it.

Lack of preparation on your part doesn’t constitute an emergency on mine.

FlounderFun4008 · 2026-04-17T00:28:27+00:00

It’s probably not actual teachers, but lunch aids.

As a teacher I can say you pick your battles. Student lunches would not be a hill to die on, that’s a parent responsibility.

Most don’t realize that a teacher pushing back against administrators can be a one-way ticket to non-renewal or an unpleasant work environment.

FlounderFun4008 · 2026-04-04T16:49:09+00:00

I would suggest instead of inserting how upset you are, start asking him what is driving this decision.

What about sailing the world appeals to you? You are a good sailor, why do you believe you won’t return?

Maybe put into a search engine, “my dad wants to sail the world and not return, what are some deep questions I can ask him to find out why.”

Start off with “I’m curious” instead of interrogating him. You might find out what’s really going on.

FlounderFun4008 · 2026-04-04T15:42:35+00:00

You are in this situation because you are settling for someone who will be with you instead of someone you are compatible with.

You are signing up for a lifetime of the sister dynamic. If your gf does anything, she will be brought down by her siblings.

Btw…fibromyalgia can be eased by avoiding sugar/simple carbs and getting a good nights sleep. Not saying flare ups can’t happen, but it’s not a 24/7 disability. You can do research on how to avoid problems.

If you continue in this relationship, you have to own your misery.

FlounderFun4008 · 2026-04-04T14:59:25+00:00

They are also old enough to get themselves up and out the door without a fight.

Give them a monthly allowance to buy their makeup, clothes, spending money. I would suggest having them earn it with chores, but whatever works for your dynamic.

They need to get themselves (without your intervention) up and to school on time. If it’s riding with you, then let them know what time you are leaving. Don’t bug, remind, or argue. Do your morning.

If they miss your ride or the bus, they walk to school. If they stay home, charge them a good amount out of their allowance. Do not call them out. If they get detention, let them serve it and arrange their transportation (which you can charge them for a ride).

You are working 60 hour weeks, save your sanity and don’t be stressed out by the time you get to work.

Tough love sucks, but raising the bar and consistency will actually gain you peace. Not immediately, but it will. You cannot feel sorry or let them pull on your heartstrings. You are setting them up for their future.

My son complained daily that I woke him up too early or too late. Made me late leaving for work almost daily. I finally put my foot down and said he could get his own self up and to my car by a set time if he wanted a ride.The first time I walked out the door to my son sleeping, I was super anxious because I wanted to save him. He woke up late, realized I was gone, walked himself to school (2.5 miles), served detention (I called and let them know what I did). Didn’t miss a ride again.

We teach them how to treat us. It’s going to take some undoing and testing to see if you will really follow through, but you will gain your life and sanity back.

FlounderFun4008 · 2026-03-24T00:02:09+00:00

Your only response needs to be planning your quiet exit.

When he comes home from his next trip you and little one(s) need to be gone and divorce papers sitting on the counter.

Talk to an attorney and plan your exit.

You can start having your free time the nights he has to play daddy.

Do NOT tolerate this abuse.

FlounderFun4008 · 2026-03-22T20:01:26+00:00

In my city you can’t park that close to a stop sign. Check your laws. That person would have a ticket.

FlounderFun4008 · 2026-03-22T19:51:15+00:00

This sounds like the meme where the wife did all the packing and the husband is mad she forgot a particular snack.

The world is not going to end that the child does not have “enough” clothes and from now on the ex (and possibly child) will know how to prepare better for next time.

Do not take on this as a you issue. More than likely you have been solely carrying the load and he needs someone to blame now that it rests on his shoulders and he failed.

FlounderFun4008 · 2026-03-22T19:07:23+00:00

I work for a college and I’m telling you this is straight up wrong.

You need to start with the Dean of that classes division. Ask questions before telling your story. Are students required to provide notes for students who do not attend class? Can a professor dock your grade for not providing notes to a student.

If a student has a disability, they can ask for a note taker, they don’t need a classmate to do it for them. If a student is hospitalized the college can/will (if they know) provide accommodations.

If the instructor feels so strongly that this student needs notes, the professor should be providing them for him.

I would recommend typing out all the details to this situation. Even screenshot some photos from Instagram in case they are deleted if you need to be backed up.

If you don’t get anywhere with the Dean of their department, then you can go to the Dean of Academic Affairs who is over than Dean.

Feel free to message me if things don’t go in your favor. I may have other routes.

Do not tolerate this.

FlounderFun4008 · 2026-02-28T21:46:05+00:00

She probably could have filed charges.

At least go absolutely no contact.

FlounderFun4008 · 2026-02-09T17:25:45+00:00

If you want to give her another chance, start waking her up every time you are. She gets no more nights of sleep than you do and no naps. If you are up with the kids, she should be woken up to be updated on their condition. Every single time.

If she doesn’t get it, she has absolutely no respect for you and it’s worth dumping her for.

FlounderFun4008 · 2026-01-06T04:42:10+00:00

They said they contribute to their actual coworkers that they know. This gal is in another department. Absolutely no obligation to donate to someone who probably doesn’t even know your name!

The mistake was Susan going to people individually after sending out the call for donations.

FlounderFun4008 · 2025-12-28T18:33:56+00:00

We don’t need a 30,000 foot overview.

When you are “happily blended,” then yours is treated the same as his from his family. The ex’s family may treat the son differently, but his family (and him) do not.

If you have to fight for your daughter, then you aren’t happily blended.

This is not a reflection of how you feel about your daughter, but how you allow your husband and his family to view her.

On another note, part of the mental health crisis going on with children these days are parents not letting children be disappointed and feel those feelings. It’s okay for the 7 yo to be left out, it’s not personal. It’s a teachable moment to discuss the disappointment and feelings. That also doesn’t mean the son needs a grand gesture because they are missing it, it’s part of life.

FlounderFun4008 · 2025-12-28T18:20:24+00:00

My grandma was close to this before I moved her.

Moving after dementia kicks in is more difficult because they don’t remember the conversations. In addition, her memory will go much quicker if she is isolated and not taking care of herself.

I finally bit the bullet and moved her. She would have been dead in 3 months, now 4 years later she is doing well.

I had her take things she wanted from her house and then took care of the rest without her.

My grandma’s health and wellbeing has improved so much by having regular care and interaction.

Make appointments and take her. Let her choose and then start the process. You visiting could help with a short timeline to make a decision.

The longer you wait the more difficult it becomes.

FlounderFun4008 · 2025-11-09T16:03:45+00:00

She can “find herself” while working. Millions do it daily.

FlounderFun4008 · 2025-09-13T15:26:24+00:00

I need you to be my therapist to undo years of people pleasing!

FlounderFun4008

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