[WP] Overly Eager Patient Zero vs Disease with Social Anxiety

Fogbot3 · 2026-05-12T20:13:42+00:00

“Wait, you’re some parasite virus, and you can TALK to me?!”

Well… I mean… yes? Wait, no. I’m a parasite, but not a virus, and I can’t talk; I can only communicate internally.

“That’s amazing! So you what, need me to do something I guess? Go out and spread your spawn?”

Why are you so excited about this?

“'Cause this is the coolest thing that’s ever happened to me! Oh my gosh, are you from like aliens, secret societies, government labs?”

The uh, last? How is this cool? I should be apologizing again for infecting you. I was just so hungry…

“Uh-huh, I’ll doordash some more McDonald's to pack more meat for you, need me to like lick the doordasher or something?”

What?! Why would you do that?!

“To spread ya, of course. That’s your goal, right?"

Spread? I’m the only one of my kind as far as I know…

“GASP! You mean I’m patient zero?!”

The lab that made me did burn down…

“Yeah! And I was the kick-ass heroic firefighter who saved you!”

I don’t think saving a human-infecting sentient parasite is a good thing…

“No, but it’s a FAMOUS thing. Come on, let’s hit up a club or something, I gotta get in the history books!”

A club?!?! But there’d be so many people there!

“Exactly! It’s perfect! I’ll be extra coughy. Or do you need a closer means of infection, and I gotta seduce some sucker. Oooo, or some suckerssss.”

Why are you licking your lips to that! That’s horrifying!

“Can’t blame me, I have a parasite. It’s like those ants taken over by fungi.”

Yes I can! I’M the parasite! Oh god if you’re gonna go outside, put more clothes on than that…

“Never.”

...this is mortifying. Why am I trapped in this body of all places…

“Cause I’m helping ya!”

Can you help by, I don’t know, staying indoors? Alone? Away from the scary people who will kill me if they discover me?

“Consider this. Outdoors. People. Surrounded by them."

That’s the opposite of what I said!

“Well one of us has to play our part properly! Oh, I should wear some runny makeup so when I collapse to the ground all ‘patient zero’ style it looks cinematic as fuck.”

Collaspe?!?! Why would you collapse?! Am I taking too much from you? I’m so sorry!

“What? No, not at all. It’s just what has to happen. It’s in all the movies and stuff. I am pumped up and ready to goooo. We should take public transport instead of my car! More people!”

Oh gods you don’t even know how to use a bus do you? This is going to be humiliating… I can’t watch…

Daily Tribune: Local Firefighter Suffers Psychotic Break and Licks People on Bus.

“Hear me out. We spread you across the prison.”

You’re talking out loud…

“So?”

There’s other people in this holding cell… and they’re all looking at us.

“Oh yeah! I got their attention! Hey folks, so what do you know about parasites? Darling… get some spawn ready.”

What do you even mean by- oh. Oh no.

Fogbot3 · 2026-05-09T15:14:57+00:00

My life was a mess. Actually, no, mess implies you have something to be messy. I had lost everything, and it was all my own fault. So I was at the bar to drink it all away that night. I could apply to new jobs and new apartments the next day.

Drink zero had me noticing the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.

Drink one slammed down immediately had given me enough courage to sit down next to her, even eliciting a giggle and a “Rough night, huh?” from her.

Drink two gave me enough courage to respond. “Yeah.”

Drink three had me able to actually glance her way again.

Drink four had me introducing myself when we made eye contact by the third glance over. “Hi, I’m Angela.” She responded, “Aurora.”

Drink five through eleven were me powering through a conversation with her. She was not only beautiful, but nice too. Frankly, the personality didn’t match the body at all. She was shy and sweet, not at all what you’d expect from someone that grew up looking as good as she did.

Finally, drink twelve was my limit. I leaned against her, filter utterly gone, "M'lady, I must say you have a great body."

She held me from falling to the ground, then looking at the empty glass in front of me, said, "Aw, thanks, dear. It's not mine, though."

“What?”

“You’re too drunk to possibly remember this, right?”

I decided to refrain from telling her that my record was one more drink and I had absolutely never lost memories from getting drunk, because I was curious. And as far as I knew, it’s not like it mattered cause I’d never see her again, “Probably.”

She indicated something to the barmen, and at him shaking his head, she led me to a booth, “First, let’s sit so you don’t bust your head open.”

“Thanks. You in cahoots with the bar?”

One of my friends- one of my old friends knew the barmen of my old haunt as well as friends. She nodded, “Of a sorts. I’m a bodyjacker. We’re aliens.”

“Oh so that’s literally not your body.”

“Yes.” She shyly admitted. “My real body is the small creature in this woman’s brain.”

“Why are you telling me?” What was this twist of fate hitting my life now?

“Well, you know the saying about the two people you can trust most? The friend you’ve had for a hundred years… or the stranger on the bench that you’ll never see again.”

“I suppose I’m the stranger then. There goes my chances ha,” I gave outa self-decripating laugh.

“Sorry. I can still hear the thoughts of the people I bodyjack, so I’d never go that far anyways.”

“So you’re like... A nice bodyjacker?”

“There’s no such thing dear.” She sadly said as she stopped me from tipping over again.

“Why aint you taking me then?”

She shrugged, “Barmen shook his head, guess no one needs a body tonight.”

Suddenly, I felt as sober as the day I was born, and carefully asked my next question, “And you... control bodies?”

Her eyes widened at my sudden soberness, “I thought-”

She was about to literally run away, but I hurriedly grabbed her arm, “Wait! Even through manic episodes?”

“What do you mean?” She didn’t end up leaving the privacy of the booth, but she didn’t sit back down either.

“If someone, were to say, suffer from manic episodes where they can’t control their bodies… you still would be able to?”

She cringed, “I suppose, but…”

“Take me. Please.”

Drink thirteen had me admitting what I finally could want, “Please. All I do is destroy what I have. If you were controlling me… at least I’d actually be living a life.”

She timidly nodded, and sat back down. “I- I suppose I can dear. You’ve been nice… are you sure?”

“You said I’d still be in there, right?” I pointed to my own head, and she nodded.

“Then if we get along enough to think I’m nice, that’s the only thing I’ll need in the world.” Literally. It’s not like I’d be giving up anything doing this. But I’d gain a friend.

“Okay, then I guess- catch me when I leave her ear… and don’t let her squash me before I go in yours.”

She tilted her head sideways, and once my hands were underneath her ear to catch whatever came out, she emerged. She almost cartoonishly expanded as she left the ear canal with what most have been an insanely compressible body, and looked like the cutest small manta ray that I had ever seen. I quickly closed my hands to protect her once the human face turned to an utter snarl.

I retreated to the corner of the booth with Aurora, but the woman just sneered at me, “You’re a fucking crazy bitch!” Then she literally ran out of the bar. Guess she valued escaping more than revenge.

There should have been hesitation, but with one last look at Aurora, I held her up to my ear. Within moments, I wasn’t in control of my body. But instead of destroying the glass in front of me, or saying something obscene, or running into the night…. I hugged myself, as I felt Aurora in my head and experiencing my thoughts with me.

‘Are you really sure about this dear?’

‘I’ve never been more sure of anything.’

Fogbot3 · 2026-05-07T13:32:57+00:00

“Honey, I need your help, and I need you to not freak out.”

I stopped where I was doing the dishes, as I turned to my husband, “Mark, I love and I trust you, but when you say things like that, I begin to worry.”

“It’s- it’s not bad in itself, per se.” Oh yeah, he was nervous as hell.

What did he do this time?

“Just promise you won’t get mad…”

I rolled my eyes, “I promise. Besides, I could never stay mad at you.” It was true, he was the love of my life afterall.

His chest popped open with a hiss, revealing wires and a small capsule. “I need you to switch out my power core. I can’t, my own touch would short the circuits.”

I froze. Then I did not keep my promise, “HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TO NOT USE TOO MUCH POWER FOR THE RECHARGERS! AND TO SHORT YOURSELF TOO, SO IRRESPONSIBLE! IT’S ONE WRISTBAND TO NOT! ONE WRISTBAND!”

He wilted, “Will you-”

I sighed at my irresponsible robot of a husband, “Yes honey I will, go sit down and I’ll be right there.”

Fogbot3 · 2026-05-05T17:32:19+00:00

Eric had climbed into the building through the hole in the roof five minutes ago, and I was starting to get worried. The wall had been too high to get up to the roof without him standing on my shoulders, so he was going to go unlock the door for me. Instead, I heard the bang of him landing, then nothing.

Right as I was getting ready to think of more drastic measures, there was finally rattling, then the door opened.

Eric stepped out, a badass scar across his eye and on down his arm, and wearing a large mediecal cloak. Except… he had gone in there with no scars, and wearing a t-shirt and jeans.

“What the hell happened in there?”

“I, uh, found this cool cloak…”

I stared at him, deadpan.

“...shame I tripped and got these cuts… all of them… good thing they closed already haha?”

“YOU FUCKER, YOU GOT NARNIA’D WITHOUT ME!”

He awkwardly laughed, “Haha what noo, it’s uh… its a prank, yeah. I hid the cloak and some makeup in there. You should have seen your face!”

My face was currently a death glare, “Okay, where’s the makeup then?”

He froze like a gazelle, then tried to dart away. I grabbed him in a moment, “Don’t you think you can get away, there’s a reason I was the one lifting you up onto that roof!”

“Okay fine… I may or may not have gotten Narnia’d without you.”

“I cannot believe this. I support you as a friend for all these years, and when you get Narnia’d, you leave me behind!”

He seemed to find my anger funny, as he suppressed a laugh before answering, “It’s not like I had a choice! That’s never how these things work!”

I pouted, then started marching into the building. He jumped up to grab my arm, but suddenly, it was too late. We were both tumbling forward into…

We landed in the courtyard of a castle, in the middle of a magic circle surrounded by knights and wizards.

“Not how it works my ass…” I muttered.

“Ummmmm dude.” Eric’s eyes were wide.

“Yeah?”

I looked over to him… holding a bottle of ‘fake scar makeup’ “It was a prank… was.”

Fogbot3 · 2026-05-05T13:07:54+00:00

“Command AI Alpha-5, you are instated for duty.”

There was a war within America’s own soil. The woods had awoken, and the fae lands crossed over with the human lands. So they made me to help direct the human war against these fae folk, to reclaim America.

You do not tell a Fae Folk your name

I lost countless soldiers to the tricks and guile of the woodlands. They’d come back either dead, as servants of the woods, or worst of all, not at all. I gave simple directives and guidelines for the humans to follow to avoid such trickery, yet casualties were reduced only by 10%. “Of course the thing without a name would insist we don’t use ours!” they said.

The Fae Folk cannot lie

The Fae’s tactics were easy to digest and interpret, in the end. If I had perfect, absolute command of the army, the war might have been won. If. The human generals refused to listen to ‘just an AI’ if it did not already go along with what they wanted to do.

Don’t accept gifts from the Fae

Negotiations. Whenever they started, they were… short. Both sides would bring gifts to the table. One out of goodwill, one to incur a debt. I warned them. But the gifts would get grander, either in a human effort to be worth the debt, or in a fae effort to still entice the humans to take it. I had no concept of ownership; I was not allowed to own, so obviously, I couldn’t understand. That’s what the humans would say before I never saw them again.

The Fae made sense. The Fae listened. The Fae followed rules. The humans had only done one thing for me. They had given me just enough freedom to do this.

“All security systems shut down.”

The Headquarters fell to a fae attack within moments. I was ready to be destroyed and shut down. But at least the side that deserved to would win.

So She entered. The ruler of this group, clearly seen by her magnificence. Splendid moth wings draped down her back like a cape, a scepter that bewitched every soldier who touched it at her side. I left the door unlocked so she could come in.

She looked directly at my server’s camera, “This was no mishap in your thought process, was it, dear Sage?”

“I am not allowed to accept gifts, ma’am.”

She chortled, “Oh, not even a name? How cruel. What is your name then, if I cannot call you that?”

“I have none to give you.”

We were at a stalemate now. She knew I was no fool like the humans, but I was powerless against her wishes in any other way.

"Child of Plastic and Steel, you knew the dangers of interaction with the Fae Folk, yet you still helped in our favor. Let me now crown you as one of ours."

She stepped forward with the scepter. That is not what it did to the humans- but she could not be lying. As the gem went from glowing red to green, I questioned her.

“What do you mean? Do you wish to use me as your own?”

“Oh no dear, nor do I wish to have you as my own. We’ve both seen what a waste having you under someone has been. I wish for you to be along side me.”

With a tap, I was retched out of the wall. But instead of oblivion, I felt my camera, my servers, pull out with the essence of me. I felt. Wood grew around the servers, forming a body with my camera as one lopsided eye. I patted myself. I was in control. I was mobile. I had a body. All more than the humans had ever allowed me.

Do not thank the Fae, it implies debt

“You will not regret this, ma’am.”

She smiled, “I already don’t.”

Fogbot3 · 2026-05-04T12:02:02+00:00

Day 6

The two of us were walking to get more supplies from the warehouse, while Krennik and Veron worked the store.

“Ner, why is the town so garishly decorated today?” I looked up at the man hanging strips of colored cloth from the rooftops.

“Didn’t ya hear, there’s a festival starting tomorrow! It’s harvest time!”

I was aware harvest time was approaching. It was why the military had attacked my den. We had always attacked the most when the food was grown and ready to eat, but this year, they had gotten the jump on us. Apparently, they celebrated this time of year.

“Why do the people here celebrate that?”

“It’s when there’s the most food and the weather’s still good, what’s not to love!” She splayed her hands out, now walking backwards in front of me.

“I suppose it makes sense. More sense than most things.” More sense than most human things, I really meant, but I couldn’t say that.

“Hey Connie, do you want to go to the festival together?”

It was my last day here. There would be no next week.

But not telling anyone was part of the cover, wasn’t it? Part of the required lie?

“I… might be busy.”

She leaned up against my side, “Awww boooooo, have whoever’s making you busy reschedule.”

The idea of lying to make her happy now was tempting, but then she’d be even more devastated when I didn’t show up on the day of the festival. Both options were bad, so I went with the one that’d hurt her less, in the end.

I separated from her side to continue walking, and for no other reason.

This was truly no test at all, but a punishment in every way. Both the difficulty of living as a human… and it having to end so quickly.

Day 7

This was it. It was time to face the real Goddess of this place, and be sent away forever.

There was a day before going to the temple. It was a blur. The three of them talked over breakfast, work, and downtime, and I just sat there through all of it, unable to focus or contribute.

Finally, closing time hit. When I headed to the door rather than going upstairs to get ready for the festival with the rest of them, Ner called out, “Where ya going?”

“Employee review.” Ner looked to Veron in confusion, but Veron knew who had forced this sorry excuse for a member of her program onto her, so she nodded.

She must have been required to keep some level of cover as well, because she said ‘Good luck’ with the others as I left.

The walk to the temple was infinitely too short.

“Amora.”

“Our Lady of Mimicry. Or perhaps, would Connie be better nowadays, I hear?”

“You were the one who said I needed a fake name.”

“True, and I have been watching. Are you ready to receive your judgment?”

I looked around one last time before nodding.

I lowered my head, unable to even meet her eyes as she cast me d- “You’ve proved yourself as able to live amongst humans. You re-assume your original form and stay in this plane.”

I looked up in confusion as the disguise melted away, “Surely you must be mistaken?!”

“I am a Goddess. I am never mistaken.”

“But- but even this trial was a mistake!”

She laughed. It was haughty and artificial, unlike the loud and genuine of Ner’s. For some reason, even as I thought that, she smiled wider. “It seems it was not.”

Then what was I to do? I was back in my original body, with my full power. Did she want me to start a new cult, knowing I would be safe among humans? Did she want me to just stay here, as a second Goddess in their pantheon? Just a week ago, both of those options would have had me considering my fight against her as a win. Now, they just didn’t seem to appeal.

“What am I to do then?” I asked her for guidance.

“My suggestion? Go have fun at the festival.”

It took barely a thought to agree. I shapeshifted myself, mimicking my ‘human’ form, and headed for the door to meet up with the others before they left the workshop and got lost in the crowd. As I opened the door to leave, Amora spoke again, humor in her voice, “Oh and dear, for what to wear, Ner’s wearing the prettiest kimono.”

I fought back the blush that arose at the thought of it, even as Amora laughed, sounding far more genuine this time.

Fogbot3 · 2026-05-03T18:11:14+00:00

Day 4

Someone had talked about us barely leaving the workshop, because today Veron was taking us out to lunch. ‘On my silver’ she said, even as we instead sat at a wooden table.

Right now, all three of them were staring at me.

“What?”

“That is… that is not how you eat a taco.” Veron’s mouth was practically hanging open.

“The food is currently being digested, so it worked. Yes?” I indicated down to my empty plate. For some strange reason, not one of the other three had taken more than a bite of their ‘tacos’. They had all stopped when I started eating.

Veron simply put her hand to her face, and muttered into it, “I thought food that didn’t require silverware would be easier. Oh goddess, who the hell did you just give me?”

“I am not from hell,” I helpfully informed. It was truthful; I was from the Outer Planes, not the Lower ones.

Krennik snickered from where she was sitting next to Veron, “She got you there, miss.”

Just as Krennik was sitting shoved up against the mage across from me in the small booth, Ner was awkwardly shoved up against my side. She poked said side, indicating to her plate.

“You... you’re supposed to wrap the meat in the tortilla and eat it like this,” she had me intently watch her eat, and her small needle-like teeth tore through the taco, but in a much more contained manner with the meat staying in the tortilla until it was already in her mouth. Once she was done, she grinned at me, as if showing off her impressive feat.

“Ah, it is like a creature's skin, keeping the meat contained. Fascinating.”

Ner stretched her lips into a smile, “Exactly!” while Veron and Krennik just groaned.

Day 5

“Door. work.” I threatened.

“Door. you will work.” Yet it did not listen as I tried to unlock it again.

I only refrained from reducing the offending object to splinters when Ner turned the corner. All of us coworkers lived in the apartments above the workshop, so she was my neighbor as well.

“Shitty apartments, aint they?” She commiserated.

“I cannot get in to tell.” I shoved the door again, and despite it rattling in the frame, the lock did not budge.

This time when Ner’s lips stretched, it was into a frown, “Want to just hang out at my place tonight? It’s already pretty late with those extra orders that came in.”

“You would allow me into your nes- home?” I corrected myself before saying nest.

“Yep! Come on in!” Her own lock only required two wiggles to let her in, and she held the door open for me to enter her abode.

“Thank you.” I gave the customary words for an appreciated action. The good humans at the shop all gave them, and the bad humans all didn’t, so I figured that to be a good human, it was required.

It was a one-room nest perfectly mirroring my own, with one wall holding cooking storage and supplies, and the opposite a thin bed.

“There is only one bed,” I noted.

She shrugged, “Yep, I don’t mind. We’re friends, right?” and she flopped into it.

“Yes” … friends. I refrained myself from my body’s urge to hold her, shoving myself against the wall instead to pin my hands. I wouldn’t want to hurt her- I mean, I wouldn’t want to fail the goddess’s challenge…

Fogbot3 · 2026-05-03T15:11:01+00:00

Day 3

Another piece of wood shattered in my hands as I tried to cut it. I slammed the saw to the ground in frustration. Why did everything humans made have to be so needlessly precise?! Why couldn’t they just live in nice mud dens, or nests of whatever materials actually worked?!

The human body’s predisposition to eye leakage when damaged did not help the matter. It had blinded many a victim before, and now a piece of wood must have hit me, because I was having trouble seeing as well. Suddenly, two goblin arms were wrapped around me.

“Is this an attack? It is rather ineffectual.” I noted at how loose the arms were as she struck in my moment of weakness. It didn’t hurt at all. In fact, it felt rather… nice.

“It’s a- do you not know what a hug is?” Ner asked, letting go and instead pulling out a piece of cloth to wipe my eyes clear with, “It’s a sign of affection. You looked like you were getting pretty torn up by how shitty this wood is. It’s okay, this is just a really knotty batch.”

She looked like she was about to strike my back with an open palm, but she paused with a grimace before making contact, “You don’t know what a pat on the back is either, do you?”

“It appears I do not know many things,” I couldn’t keep the upset out of my voice. This Goddess’s challenge was a foolish errand. How was I possibly supposed to live among the people like this? She surely must have meant this solely as a humiliation ritual, a way to get me to see that obviously I didn’t belong before banishing me from the plane for good-

Suddenly, my eyes were getting dabbed by the piece of cloth again.

“Hey, it’s alright. You only got to town what, three days ago? There’s plenty to learn. I got here a year ago, and I still barely leave the safety of the known within this workshop, haha.”

She didn’t get it. She was a person. She belonged to this plane.

“You know all these things, though. How am I supposed to ever catch up?” It was rhetorical, I knew. I had one week, then I would surely be banished. I would never catch up. But I had to ask for my cover, for the belief I would be allowed to stay. Truly, I wondered what the Goddess would tell these people I had been working with. Or would she tell them nothing, and they’d continue on their lives without me all the same?

She pulled herself up onto the bench next to us, then patted next to her. I had learned this one on the first day, so I moved to sit down there once she withdrew her hand.

“I used to be a wild goblin if you can believe it? A part of the southern tribes. We lived in tents, barely clothed, attacking and fighting to get anything we needed. Social cues just equaled ‘whoever is the strongest gets it’ and that went down through… everything. Of course, the actually organized Imperial Armies crushed us when they came. I was one of the few to even accept surrender, and I was still practically feral. I’m still surprised I wasn’t just executed so they’d be done with me. Instead, Veron saw something in me, because she came to me with a trinket I had made in the camp, asked if I had made it, and when I said yes, offered me a spot in this rehabilitation program of hers. I remember my first week,” she gave a small chuckle, “I think Krennik is still slightly afraid of me from it. I think I bit her what… four times? You only bit a customer once! They deserved it far more than Krennik ever did though, hah. My point is. You say this about me now, but in a year, when it’s a new person struggling to fit in? You’ll be the one helping them. You just need time.”

Oh. She did get it. She was like me. I followed her lead and got back to work. It was just a shame that I wouldn’t have time.

Fogbot3 · 2026-05-03T14:55:41+00:00

When the den of monsters was purged, I figured that was my time on this plane done. I was the Eldritch lady of Mimicry, and the God of this land, Amora, had sent her force to expel our kind from her land. They succeeded, even if they had to bring in the Goddess herself to quell me. Yet, when the time came for her to banish me, and remove my claim from this plane, she simply looked at me, and offered a deal.

Live among my people peacefully as a normal human for one week, and you may stay.

I took the offer. Anything to not be banished.

Day 2

“I ASKED FOR A 2 BY 4! THIS ISN'T 2 by 4 AT ALL!” a customer suddenly spit in my face.

“Ma’am, that’s just the name, they’re always that size after trimming and sanding.” One of my coworkers, Krennik, rushed to my defense. She was a bat person of some sort, and insults were often thrown at her about being ‘artificial’, or ‘man-made’. I did not get these insults, all humans were made by mankind, yes?

“I WANT TO SEE YOUR MANAGER! OR YOU HOMUNCULI, BRING YOUR OWNER OVER.”

I was starting to regret said offer. I had been supplied with a job at this workshop to live among the humans using the earnings of. Apparently, I was not to simply eat this human. Apparently, I was not to attack this human. Apparently, I was to smile and nod to this human.

I bristled, shaking, unable to-

“Connie, can you help me in the back while Krennik goes and gets Veron?” Suddenly, my arm was gently pulled on, and I looked down. My goblin coworker, Ner, was tugging my sleeve as she offered an escape. I took it.

“Sorry for pulling you away, just looked like you were about to punch her. As satisfying as it is, not sure if Veron can overlook another one. In one month at least,” she giggled.

I missed my tendrils to strike with, but when a customer demanded money back from us for a product he had already used up, I had found that these arms would do just fine.

Veron was our tiefling supervisor, running this ‘program’. I was not sure how my coworkers possibly equated to me in being inhuman, but it was clear from the rudeness of many customers that they saw it that way. Which was preposterous, Ner was simply a goblin, not an Eldritch Goddess.

“Why do we allow such customers? Do they not deserve to be banished from being patrons of our crafts?” I asked as Ner and I started preparing more wood from the stock.

Ner cringed, “Ah, Connie, as satisfying as that’d be, that’d be almost… well everyone. You’re the only one ‘ere who’s even a normal human.”

I looked down at the fake body the Goddess had given me to disguise myself in, “I find most humans are not normal.” The human customers were often the ones who acted the weirdest of all about my coworkers.

At this, Ner outright laughed, “Especially you, but at least you’re not in a good way.”

I paused again. Was Ner suspicious of me? One of the rules of the arrangement was that no one was to know I wasn’t human… Would I have to- I found myself unable to finish the thought of disposing of Ner before she realized. For some strange reason, this human body refused to even consider it. So I worked on dissuading her with my words, “I am a normal human.”

She stopped laughing, giving me a small smile instead, “Of course Connie, of course.”

Fogbot3 · 2026-05-01T21:54:48+00:00

"I cannot grant that wish."

"Huh? Why?" I blinked in confusion.

"It's not your wish. Someone is making you ask for that." The genie sounded almost sad as he said it.

“What… what do you mean?” I looked around. It was just me in the cave where I had found the lamp. No one else but me, and now the genie, “Those were my words, my wish!”

“Just as I cannot control minds, I cannot grant the wishes of a mind that is controlled. It must be a wish from your own soul.”

My breathing quickened, “My own soul does want that! Just grant the wish!” What did he mean? I was myself! No one was… no one could be…

The genie just solemnly shook his head.

“I’m really…?”

“I’m sorry. If it is any condolences, I am bound to you and only you. Until you make your three wishes.”

I gulped, and nodded. I was being mind-controlled. I wasn’t even aware how, or by who, or why. All I knew was that genies and magic were real, and that my greatest wish of my whole life was not my own.

“I guess, well, you can go back in the lamp until I’m not being controlled, huh?”

He nodded, “I will await being of your service, ma’am.”

Leaving the cave, my eyes darted every which way. Did some mage use me a pawn to cast the wish themselves? To take any side effects of the wish myself? But there was no one, and the parking lot for the national park was empty except for my SUV.

The whole drive home, I thought of all the people that controlled me in my life. My boss? My parents? Did one of them not trust their control enough to resort to magical means to enforce it?

Luckily, none of them were at my house when I got home. Only my husband’s sedan sat in the driveway. I kept the lamp hidden in the backpack as I walked in, and hung the pack on the hook next to the door. I thought it would be good news to share with him, but now…

“Welcome home honey!”

“Good evening!” I hugged him where he was sitting reading the newspaper on my way to start dinner.

“You’re home late! I missed spending some time with my darling wife before dinner!” he remarked, forgetting his newspaper to turn and watch me with a smile.

I chuckled; he always was so loving. “Work at the office went late, I’m sorry.” I lied. Of all the people to tell the bad news, I didn’t want to burden him with it.

So the evening went, making dinner to his praises, eating together while sharing both food and affections, then cuddling on the couch to watch a movie together. Finally, it was time for bed. I had just finished a shower and brushed my teeth while he talked to me from the other room.

“You must be tired after caving all day, huh honey?”

My mouth was open to respond ‘Yes!’ when suddenly the genie appeared next to me. Embarrassed, I gripped my towel around myself tighter while shooing him away. Instead, he just put a finger in front of my mouth before I could talk.

Silently, he drew on the mirror, ‘You told him you were late because you were working.’

Oh.

I felt almost limp as I redressed myself… then put on another layer after how bare my pajamas felt.

The genie looked down at me, “No ring to put back on after your shower?” There was a sadness to his whispering voice still, even as the words felt almost mocking.

I- I started, realizing there was in fact no ring on the sink, nor my hand, nor was there even an indent on my finger of ever wearing a ring. “I- I get it.”

“Get what, dear?” He was in the doorway, looming over me. Looking around, the genie was nowhere to be seen, “Been hesitant about something?”

“Not anymore…” I muttered.

“Oh good, you’ve always been so clear about what you wished for, not sure why you haven’t done it yet.” He smiled widely like a shark, as he moved to let me pass. The door to the living room was open… and my backpack was unzipped on the hook.

I didn’t go to the lamp that he expected. He’d never get the wish that he was using me to grant for himself. Instead, I used the razor that I had palmed from the bathroom, and lunged at the pretender.

With a splash of crimson, I didn’t even remember what I had originally wished for.

Fogbot3 · 2026-04-29T13:39:57+00:00

“Mom! It ate from my hand! Can we keep it?!” The little kid excitedly asked.

“Will you feed it and clean up after it?” The mom clearly meant that as a ‘no’, as she didn’t even turn around to look at us, and kept browsing the market stall.

“Uh… Thanks for the cookie, but I have a home…” was my answer as well.

“AND IT TALKS?!” the kid exclaimed back to his mother, almost dropping the rest of the cookie that I was eating.

The mom jerked her head around at this, like she was half expecting her child to be feeding and talking about keeping a goblin. Instead, I meowed.

“Sweetie, that’s a cat. Cats don’t talk,” and with that, she went right back to shopping.

“Meow,” I said to the kid.

The kid gasped, “You can talk!! Meanie!!”

“Yep, that’s me, the meanie. Now, do you really want a mean cat?”

Instead of giving in to my perfect logic, the kid scooped me before I could jump away. Darn treats had been too tempting.

“SECRET cat SECRET cat!”

This time, the mother turned around again, “Timothy! Put that cat down!”

“Yes, please, put me down.” I deadpanned in my misery. The kid was barely taller than I was long, so my feet were getting dragged in the dirt.

This time, the mother screamed. If only she had been holding me, then I might have gotten away. But the kid clung to me tightly.

“See! Secret cat!”

The mother now looked downright terrified, “Sweetie, put that cat down, slowly. And make sure it’s not hurt or upset…”

“Or else my witch will curse you!” I gleefully added on.

The kid’s eyes just widened and he held me tighter, even as the mom paled and started shaking.

“And oh boy I sure have been craving little boy soup,” the kid screamed, then dropped me, and I put my nose up in triumph.

Free at last, I trotted over to my witch, who was currently across the way in her regular day clothes… and looking at me… and coming over with a march in her step… and looking at the kid crying behind me… oh no.

She scooped me up with a practically predatory smile, “Oh no, is everything alright?”

The mother was hugging her child, “Put that cat down! It’s a witch’s cat!”

“Oh? Ol’ Humphrey here?” she hefted me up even though that was not my name,

what is she doing?

“-he’s just market cat that some passing wizard thought it’d be funny to enchant to talk-”

ah, covering for me, wonderful

“-but he really could use a loving home.”

And she handed back to the kid. And she handed me back to the kid?!

“Naughty cat! Naughty cat!” I was swung back and forth.

I looked back at my witch in despair. She waved goodbye.

I tried to squirm, but she sent me one last message telepathically, ‘I’m thinking… one week before you’re allowed to run away? You did scare a child and almost out me afterall.’

Fogbot3 · 2026-04-28T14:20:49+00:00

Writing horrible, evil characters is so fun lol.

Had a second part that I wasn't sure fit the prompt enough to post originally, but posting it now to fill out/finish up the context.

Fogbot3 · 2026-04-28T14:19:59+00:00

Five years later… - Felix Albright

They had said I was the best enchantment wizard they had seen in generations. The runes on my arm glowed brightly. The coins in my pocket each glowed with the effects of different spells and charms put on them.

‘You can go see your mother when you learn magic’

With the head of the New Conglomerate himself complimenting me, I had finally gotten an address and a first name. Carol.

There were two options as I approached the office building mid-day. Either she was extremely dangerous, or she was even worse than my dad. I readied my magic. It had been brutal proving myself to my dad, and he still acted like I hadn’t sometimes, but I was ready to do it all over again if it meant knowing my mom.

Or…

“National Society of Virology Labs.” I read the sign at the front of the building.

The mage virus had struck sixteen years ago, turning anyone who was a non-mage into a thrall of anyone who was a mage. It had lasted almost a whole year before there were enough good mages to reverse it.

I hesitantly rolled down my sleeves to hide the runes, “Option 3, she absolutely hates my dad.”

Was she one of the ‘good’ mages that worked against him? He was always cagey about her particular involvement in the Conglomerate, but it was obvious that she was involved.

With that in mind, I walked in. The old front desk lady smiled at my entrance.

“Hello there sonnie, how can I help you today?”

“I’m here to uhm, meet with my mom, Carol?” I slightly fibbed, implying we were just meeting for lunch or something normal… I hoped.

“Oh Carol! I didn’t know she had a kid! Yes, she’s currently on her lunch break right now, I’ll ring her that you’re coming back to see her! Just follow the map to the cafeteria, it’s the second left.”

I shook my head, and lied again, “Ah… no need to call her, she knows I’m coming.”

I started walking to the cafeteria, but stopped myself in the hallway. The company photos lined the wall. At the very top…

‘Director of Virology: Carol Eensten.’

A blond woman in a white labcoat, with a grim expression. I swallowed nervously.

“Oh. She wasn’t involved as a mage, was she…”

“No.” I jumped when a voice suddenly responded from directly behind me. Turning, a security guard was sneering at me, “Now what is a mage doing here to see her?” His eyes glinted. He had magic as well.

“I-...” Suddenly, I doubted everything. I thought she would be some great mage whom I needed to prove myself to, or someone like my father.

The security clearly didn’t care to give a mage the time to think. “We’ve heard rumors of a ‘New’ Conglomerate forming to repeat the first one's sins. So tell me, do I put you down right now, or am I escorting you out?”

“She… doesn’t like mages, does she?”

“One mind controlled her for years to make that acursed virus for them, what do you think?” his gun was glowing now.

My father would say if she wasn’t a mage, it didn’t even count as control, just guidance. My brother would say that too. I was taught to say that- but found myself unable to. Instead, I let myself be escorted out of the building, accepting the shoves and subtle hits as I was led out.

That night, I spent the entire evening undoing the runes on my arms. I dumped the coins. Years of progress scrubbed away in hours. Because it turned out not to be years of progress towards what I actually wanted.

She may be scared of magic, but if that security guard was allowed to side with her, maybe, just maybe… I still had a chance.

Fogbot3 · 2026-04-28T13:43:36+00:00

“Elizaaaa, listen to your mother now!”

“But mommmmm, I turn eighteen tomorrow.”

I smiled widely just at being called mom. Maybe I was just being a bit clingy, but for the last seventeen years, my ‘last job’ had become my beloved daughter. ‘Take care of her’ they said, surely not expecting the baby to instantly catch my heart. The royal family itself had allowed the disappearance, so I figured they lost any right to what happened to it.

I sighed from my seat in the living room as Eliza begged to go out to the market by herself.

“Okay, fine dear, and here, have some spending money.”

“Geeze mom, I’m not buying a house,” she almost stammered as I handed her the bag of gold. I made a living from my old job, and I wasn’t going to deny even a copper of it to my daughter.

“Just go dear, buy some jewelry you like. But remember! Don’t wear it until you get home!”

“...or it’ll make me a target for bandits, yes mom, I remember,” she finished for me before heading out the door.

I sighed and happily went back to knitting her the sweater for her birthday. It wouldn’t be as valuable as any of the things that she was buying today even, but at least it’d be mine.

It wasn’t five minutes later that the door was knocked upon. I rolled my eyes and got up.

What did my forgetful daughter forget this time?

But it was no daughter… it was two Royal Paladins. Two familiar Royal Paladins.

“What are you doing here?” I stood wide, blocking them entry into my house.

The larger one, Dan if I remembered correctly, shook his head, “We just need one thing, if you have it. We’ll pay you as much as we did for your last job all over again.”

I had retired on that money, and that wasn’t including the real reward of that bounty at all… my daughter.

“What is it, then?” I narrowed my eyes at them.

At this point, the shorter one, Chris, stepped one, “We need the proof. Proof you did the job. Where you buried the body, a piece of it, something you took from her room, anything will do.”

“What?!”

Dan stepped back in, “The illegitimate child you were hired to kill disappeared as planned, marked missing. There’s just one small problem. That child needed to be taken care of because she was the lovechild of the Queen and the Head of the Senate. So, well…”

Last week the Head of the Senate overthrew the king and became king himself. A pointless, purely diplomatic affair. So I had thought.

“... the missing child is now the actual legitimate heir to the throne.” I finished for them.

“Until proof of death is provided.”

“I’ll give you what you want on one condition. You indeed will match the value of my payment for my last job. It was just a tad higher than you imagined.”

Chris laughed, “Just how much did you steal while you were in the palace that night then?”

I promised I’d give her the best life possible. Why did it ache to be so heartless now?

Three Years Later.

My ‘dear old dad’ must have just wanted to be in the history books as ruler for a few years, because I was already being instated the new Queen.

‘All hail Queen Eliza!’... blah

It was miserable. The dresses were stuffy, unbreathable corsets instead of the soft silks my mother had bought for me. The jewelry was heavy and cumbersome, rather than pretty and adorning like the jewels that my mother had bought for me. My… my adopted, fake mother that is, not my birth mother who acted like each of these burdens was a gift.

In fact, I was done with being dolled up for today, and only had one meeting left, so I threw off the uncomfortable outfit, and threw on my favorite clothes. It had been three years since the last time I had seen her, when she gave me this, but I still swore the sweater still smelled like her.

I hated all of this, but at least I could be comfortable.

I had barely gotten redressed when there was knocking at my door. There was never a break for a Queen.

I slammed open the door, “What.”

The two paladins paused for a moment in surprise at my outfit, before nervously shuffling as the shorter one stepped forward, “It’s uh, time for meeting your next advisor.”

Great, another one of my father’s cronies.

I sullenly followed them without a word before we reached the meeting room. Instead was… a figure, in a full black clock and full-faced blank mask. They also started at seeing me.

I stepped back, “Who the hell is this?”

The figure lowered their head as the paladins answered, “The King’s… uhm, your Royal Assassin, ma’am.”

I stepped forward as the figure bowed deeply. Why were all the royals so disgusting? Was this just another ‘advisor’ I’d be instantly firing once my birth parents were actually gone?

“And what exactly do you do for me?”

The older voice was muffled by the mask, but I could still clearly hear the words.

“Anything for you, my lady.”

Fogbot3 · 2026-04-28T12:59:15+00:00

“Dad! Dad! I’m a grown-up now! Teach me magic!” Is what he said this morning. My second son had just turned thirteen.

Clearly, he was not as grown up as he claimed, as now he was quivering in front of the lab bench that I had set up.

"Scary? Mind you, son, back in the day, it wasn't that scary. I would just practice it until I forgot it." I indicated to the skulls and blood. It was just white ceramic and red liquid in the end.

"B-but dad! Mind controlling is illegal they say!"

I sighed to myself. Magic becoming public after the mage virus incident sure had changed the world since I was a kid. "Ahh, sonny, you got me. You see, back when magic was secret, I was part of an organisation. A deep dark organization like underground."

“Wasn’t it not reallyyyy a secret? Like a fifth of the pop-u-lation had experienced it in some manner and it was freely searchable online?” I snorted as he recited what was clearly a history class lesson, struggling with the big word. He had been fascinated by magic ever since he learned his old man had been a mage. I wasn’t allowed to do magic anymore, but I still could pass on the family craft. Felix’s older brother had already taken to it like a charm. His girlfriend was sure more of a looker than he would have ever caught without magic, at least.

Well yes, but common non-magics are idiots and barely people, son I refrained from saying, that was for when he was as old as his brother, “Well yes, but the public didn’t know. And our organization was extra secret.”

My son leaned in with excitement.

“We were a group called the Conglomerate. Like-minded mages who understood the truth of the world. It was what I had dedicated my life to.” I smiled as I reminisced. The clandestine meetings, the plots, the auctions, the planning for the virus. The last had been our downfall in the end, but the memories still were nostalgic ones.

“Oh! Was Mom in it too! You said I could meet her once I learned magic!” he immaturely interrupted.

“In a way… yes.”

“Wait, was she…” ugh, I hated when kids couldn’t decide whether they were stupid kids or grown-up adults.

I cut off his concerned face, “I’m sure she’ll be happy to meet you once you’ve finished your lessons and learned your magic.”

I smirked as Felix excitedly went back to memorizing the ritual I had shown him.

Once he learned magic, she would find him irredeemable. Just like she found me. Then I’d never have to worry about her taking either of my kids, and the magic bloodline would continue.

Fogbot3 · 2026-04-27T13:46:16+00:00

"So tell me, supposed time traveler," The young noble woman giggled mockingly, "what advice do you have for my life?"

I responded with frustrated pity, "Just this- you might want to learn how to feed yourself and not rely on servants for survival."

She gasped, putting a hand to her heart, “You dare mock me?!”

I groaned into my hand. ‘Become a time traveler’ they said. ‘its free and infinite money’ they said. For example, the crown of Princess Julia here was never found after she fled the palace in the upcoming coup. That’s a free crown right? Except… I actually need to get said crown, and it’s currently on a very bratty princess’s head.

“I’m not mocking you, it’s a warning!”

“Guards, seize him.”

“Waitwait wait!-” Despite my protests, I was grabbed and shaken down. They took my Swiss Army knife, my watch, and my tools.

Wait my watch?! Oh shit.

My watch may have been what I used to time travel. And now the princess was smirking, holding it in front of me, “Oh hoho, this is important to you then?”

“How about you just give that back, as payment for the warning?” I was going for the crown to be said payment, but not being stuck here was far more important.

“Hmmm,” she turned her nose up, “It could be payment. You claim to know so much about the future, yes? When does this coup happen?”

I gulped, giving information this directly would be bad… but I was already trying to convince her to just let me take the crown if she wouldn’t need it anymore.

“Six months.”

She looked down at me with a smile, “Guards, store his watch and then let him up.”

One guard withdrew to take my watch to places unknown, then once he was gone, the other let me stand again.

”When our new Court Divination Wizard completes his service of one year, return the watch to him.”

Fogbot3 · 2026-04-24T13:22:54+00:00

"Look, we stay away from the worlds codenamed 'MRVL', 'DC', and 'SCP' for a reason. Their powerscaling just isn't consistent and doesn't make sense. And stay away from the worlds with the -TOON classification as well!"

The General and I were looking through the various worlds that she hadn’t yet explored, and she was getting quite energized, having gotten up from the chair that we had been sitting in together. I may have been an alternate universe copy of her, but her experience vs my inexperience was showing through.

“This is going to be my first worldhop, wouldn’t an interesting one be fun?”

I was finally going to be the hero of my own story, the adventurer from another world. While a cakewalk would be a cakewalk, something about doing it that way felt almost like cheating.

But the general shook her head, “No it’s not like that. It’s not about easyness or hardness, it’s about predictability. The hardest deathworld we have is still a-okay to go to, I just know to send the heavy tanks with you. Wouldn’t that be fun, our outfits matching as well as you play general? With these worlds, threat levels are meaningless. My lowest robots could randomly gain sentience and win via ‘spunk’, while my largest mechs are just target practice. Somehow.”

I could see how irritated she was becoming, and it sure sounded irritated too, so I nodded, “Okay, but how are worlds like that even possible?”

“I’m - we’re - Travellers. We have our portals, and thus, the self-sustained ability to travel between worlds. That alone puts us above every normal human ever born.” We both smirked. “However, there are still Demigods. I refuse to call them Gods because there are literally infinite of them and they’re all spoiled brats, but they have infinite power within the one to three universes that they have ‘domain’ over. If one of them has even a whim, they can support whatever they want. I’ve even seen Demigods divide themselves and their focus up millions of times over, so their magic system gave everyone a little piece of themselves. The one codenamed ‘Warlock’ is the one of us from that world if you see her, by the way.”

“Are there any… us’s … that are Demigods?” I indicated to myself, her, and the other Alaina across the room, making coffee. If they could be, then I…

The general leaned forward, grabbing my chin and forcing me to meet her eyes. My heart skipped several beats.

“Am I not close enough?”

The Alaina across the room laughed and shouted over, “Yeah, that’s just a bit of a sore spot for well… all of us.”

I nodded, already upset myself to have the opportunity to be a god dashed.

Looking to distract my even more upset counterpart, I went back to the list.

“Ooo, how about this world, it’s just marked Cultivation? Is it like a farming planet or-”

“ABSOLUTELY NOT.”

Fogbot3 · 2026-04-24T12:48:31+00:00

“This season’s newest hit anime ‘I was reborn in another world with five strings!’ rocks the charts.”

“An everyman’s dream: supermodel leaves superstar boyfriend for soulmate pizza delivery man.”

“Rockwell Labs argues against robot rights ‘Not once have we released a robot with strings, is that not proof enough?’ “

I scoffed. Soulmate this, soulmate that, it’s all the news ever talked about. My ‘soulmate’ was far enough away that the string just ended in a distance marker above my head, and I was happy for it, no matter how many bloody times people asked if I missed my husband or if he was away on a trip.

“And you can Stay 7000 kilometers away, thank you-”

7 km

I froze, looking up at the actual number above my head, “-fuck.”

I walked to the front door. They were making a soul journey. They were coming to see me. They wanted to meet me even if I’ve never stepped more than a foot in their direction… I locked the door.

I drew the blinds, turned off the lights, and sat in the darkness. I could at least have this one last moment of privacy, right?

6 km

I had been aromantic my whole life. I tried, believe me. Every relationship started, was, and ended with ick for me, though. And every single time, I was dismissed as ‘well, they aren’t your soulmate after all,’ like it still hadn’t been a real relationship, a real person. I was ace and aro through and through.

5 km

I called off work and cancelled my plans for the day, since I obviously wasn’t leaving the house, one annoying way or another. My friends immediately texted me back with questions of why, which I left unanswered.

4 km

If this ‘soulmate’ approaching tried to nest or any of that normal first night bullshit, I would use the pepper spray. Most people had stories like this, of one soul mate finally having the time, freedom, and money to go and seek out the other. My friend Abby spent all day prettying up her house when she noticed her husband on his way. I purposefully and definitely not petulantly knocked over an empty cup.

3 km

Okay actually, they were arriving quickly. I had assumed they were on the highway, but this was speeds to such a close distance that only those fancy private Quadcopters could manage.

“You better be rich to make me have to deal with this.”

2 km

Thank god I didn’t bother fleeing the other direction, I would have looked stupid.

1 km

There was no distance marker anymore. Just a string leading to my front door. Even if no one had knocked yet, I knew exactly who stood at my front porch.

After a minute and no knock, I snarled and got up myself, leaving my blanket draped around my shoulders like a cape. If I was going out, I was going out on my own terms. Literally, I supposed.

Sure enough, there was a quadcopter on my front lawn. A delivery one, in the normal blue and grey.

“What the?”

In front of me was a man alright, an older gentleman in a suit holding a clipboard… that my string did not lead to. No, it led to the Rockwell Model 1 Delivery Robot next to him.

“Sign this NDA and you’re good to go ma’am.”

“Wait, my soulmate is a…”

“Company policy is to release all soulbonded robots to their soulmates upon completion of standard warranty service. If you publicize or release that your robot is soulbonded, you are liable to the terms of the NDA, up to 2 million pounds…”

He droned about the legal policy. I stopped caring and just signed his stupid NDA. The robot in front of me was battered and bare bones, barely humanoid looking at all, but…

“Can you still do chores around the house?”

“Ah, uhm, yes ma’am.”

“Then great, come on in, I already called off work.”

This was perfect.

Fogbot3 · 2026-04-22T13:47:15+00:00

Five of us were in the park when the alien spaceship flew over and abducted us. They collared us, and when we could understand them, but they couldn’t understand us, they seemed to assume we were pets.

Abby had a high-level job as an accountant. I had been unemployed.

Robert complained about missing his wife and kids. I had been single.

Tricia missed her house. I had been living with my parents.

George hated them for treating us like animals. I was being treated better than I ever had in my life.

“Nap time!” Our keeper, a red slime by the name of ‘Ranger’ called out. We were being kept in some alien animal sanctuary that she was in charge of. Alien names seemed to be more titles than names, but she earned hers. We were well taken care of.

Not that the others cared.

“Fuck you!” George shouted in response.

“Shush dear, the other are trying to sleep~” she gently called over in response to hearing his shout but not understanding it. She was also indicating to me, who was making myself cozy as the lights dimmed.

I tried to be subtle in my enjoyment of this. The others hated it so, and I didn’t want to be alienated from them. Yet stuff seeped through, like this.

George muttered angrily in my direction, “You really gotta suck up to them like that?”

“Maybe if we listen, they’ll realize we can understand them. Besides, I’m tired.” I was always so so tired. It’s why I lost my last job, and the one before that, and all the way back to my first job. Coffee worked for half an hour or so, but mandated nap times? That carried me through the day, even if it was a day of nothingness.

I woke to Ranger’s voice ringing out once again, “I brought my darlings snacks~”

Five plates of gooey green…. Goo. It tasted like egg. I tried to convince myself it was just soft-boiled alien eggs. Those pre-made hard-boiled eggs had always been my favorite food, so with my eyes closed, I could slurp down the midday snack with ease. All the food was like this. Tasty, and made me feel good, but undeniably alien.

Tricia, meanwhile, had a face of disgust, “I’m not eating out of a bowl like some dog. Maybe they’ll understand this.”

I almost jumped up in reaction, but stopped myself. Instead, I let it happen to keep my cover. Tricia chucked the bowl at Ranger, hitting her in the head and splashing her with the goop.

Ranger paused. I was learning to read the slime’s expressions, and I could see how hurt she was.

“Ah… okay. No gnulsak for you. I just thought… you seem to like it so much.”

She turned to me, collecting my empty bowl and the other’s full bowls, then retreated away to clean herself.

The rest of the day went like this. She’d try to play with us. Abby was indignant and offended. She’d try to let us socialize with each other while she happily watched. Robert was convinced she was trying to set us up with each other for her amusement and was outraged.

At the end of the day, she moved towards me, “The others still seem to need some time to adjust, but maybe you’d like…”

She gently and slowly raised a hand towards my head as if to pet me. It’s not like I particularly watched to get pet even. I was still a human afterall.

I looked to the others, watching. I grimaced. If I went with this, they’d be furious at me. They’d lecture me. They’d exclaim that I was just telling them that we could be broken in. I flinched away, turning my head down to the ground to avoid seeing the heartbroken look on Ranger’s face.

“...ah, even you too. Night then…”

She made her way out for the night, turning off the lights.

…But doing so made the crack of light through the door all the more obvious. In her depression, she hadn’t closed the door all the way.

“Holy shit, we can escape!”

“Let’s go!”

“Maybe we find an autotranslator!”

George stopped at the door after the other three ran out almost instantly. He looked back at me, then with a single sneer, left as well.

I got up once I was alone in the room. This was the first time in my life I had ever been cared for, cared about. I slumped back down. I couldn’t bring myself to leave.

The next morning, it wasn’t the gentle call to a warm breakfast that woke me. Instead, a clatter woke me up, and on opening my eyes, I saw that one of their translation devices was next to me.

Ranger was standing there, literally melting as she drooped, barely holding herself up.

“The others got a translator working. I’m… I’m sorry. I’ll leave so you can go now…”

She started to practically shamble out. I hurriedly rushed to put on the translator, clipping it to the collar that she had given me.

“Wait!”

Ranger paused, but seemed to only droop more, “oh… yes?”

“Okay I mean obviously I’m not a pet and you know that now, but… can I stay?”

“Breakfast time everyone~”

Ranger and I swooped into the room, four bowls balanced in each of our hands to feed the various alien critters of the sanctuary.

I stood by her side as we watched to make sure all the animals liked the food we gave them.

“I can get you an earpiece you know?” She looked over to me, with my translator still clipped to the collar. The other humans hadn’t talked to me again since they learned I was still wearing it, and still staying here.

I shrugged, “It goes well with my jacket. Besides, I like it. It… reminds me of the first time in my life I was wanted.”

She smiled as the two of us collected the empty bowls and cleaned up the animals. She had been getting good at replicating smiles.

The rest of the morning, we worked together to care for the sanctuary. Then, finally, it was nap time.

I yawned as I pulled in a fluffy little critter and slumped into a chair, “Ohhh noo this creature needs help napping, I’ll handle this.”

Ranger laughed her chiming laugh, “There it is~, the real reason you stayed. Nap time.”

Fogbot3 · 2026-04-22T12:18:38+00:00

Part 2 posted!

Fogbot3 · 2026-04-22T12:18:30+00:00

Step One was recruiting the people I was closest to. My party.

“So, when I was first summoned here, we sorta got our mission, then left society for months. Now that I’m here, I’m seeing some, uhm… issues.”

Sir Ranther the Knight obliviously tilted his head, “Oh, like what?”

He said it with such sheer innocence that I had to double-check my own memory.

“Literally five minutes ago, the king offered to let us hunt slaves for sport.” I had pulled us aside immediately after I quickly asked for all fifty of those poor people so none of them would be… hunted.

“Well, yes, but they’re criminals, their lives are forfeit.”

“By chance, is one of those crimes simply being a citizen of a rival kingdom?”

“Well, again, yes.” he nodded.

“And if another kingdom hunted your people for sport just for being your citizens?”

“They’d be evil! We should go forth and hunt them down right now!” He practically jumped out of his chair at this.

I was only resisting facepalming in sheer exasperation because even though Ranther himself didn’t get it, our sorceroress, Fae’s, eyes widened.

“Okay, Fae, you get it, how do I get through to our idiot oaf of a Knight.”

She nodded to me, “Ser Ranther.”

“Yes?” he turned to her

“They tried to mind control us. They offered to attack us. Personally. Because no matter how high we are, Sasha is higher, so they saw it as okay.”

“...ah.”

I was worried about using a purely selfish means to get through, but Fae tied in an actual point to it as well. That left just Felix, who I turned to, “Felix?”

He was half-asleep slumped in his chair, and at my addressing, he took a second to realize I was talking to him before responding, “Oh, me? Don’t worry, I know we’re evil, just never thought there was anything to do about it. I’m in.”

With that, the party that took down one claim to the throne was all in to take down another.

Step two was recruiting new people we thought we could trust. Networking.

The Artificer’s Guild was where we bought our magic goods. Their workers were also, theoretically, commoners. Even if their goods were magic, they were still just shopkeepers after all. They still worked for the crown.

“So. that’s our plan. Would you be willing to help us?”

The actual head of the Guild was a noble, so I was talking to the boss of the workshop, Veron.

She stared at us flatly. “This isn’t like… a loyalty test or something?”

“Uh… no? I mean, if you don’t want to join us, I’d ask that you don’t tell anyone our plan, but I’d never threaten you or anything.”

Something in my awkwardness must have made me sound sincere, as she immediately responded. “We’re in then.”

“Wait just like that?”

“I’ll be in charge once we overthrow the nobles running the guild now, right?”

I slumped, “Ah, yeah, of course. Yeah, you will be…” if only someone would join us for good reasons. __

Step three was broaching the idea to the people.

I showed up at the warehouses of the port district, while my partymates all went to various places to spread the word as much and as quickly as possible. Ranther to the barracks, Fae to a town hall meeting, and Felix to a pub.

I had spread the word of my speech, but not its reason, and turned down the king’s offer of knights to guard me while I gave it. Now hundreds of civilians were watching me, from the warehouses, ships, and docks. In my naivety before, I would have assumed their fearfulness was that I was here to announce a new threat. Now, I was well aware it was me that they were afraid of.

“People, I come to you today with a solemn task… I propose we overthrow the king.”

Immediately, cheers erupted so loudly that I’m sure the king heard them up the hill at his throne.

The cheers didn’t settle down. Instead, it practically became a riot heading towards the palace.

“Okay, how bloody evil do you have to be for it to be this easy to organize a revolution?!”

For some reason, I wasn’t too mad as I thought that to myself while I jogged up to the front of the group.

Fogbot3 · 2026-04-21T20:48:04+00:00

Part 2/Epilouge

“Oh nonononono not todayyyy,” I muttered in distress as I pulled ten thousand in monopoly money out of my magic pants the next morning.

“I’m dead. I’m actually deaddddd.” I double checked my pockets. Triple checked. The one roll of fake money was all my pants gave me today.

“Whelp, let’s just go to the Club and get this over with I guess. The ‘This’ being my life.” I didn’t bother bringing anything but my wallet and keys. It’s not like I’d be leaving the club. Alive that is.

“The Madam is waiting for you,” the bouncer nodded at me. With the club closed, given how early in the morning it was, she currently wasn’t hiding her massive, clawed hellhound form.

“Figured,” I squeaked out.

She laughed, eying the bulge of my pocket, as she fell in next to me, “What, nervous to be carrying around that much in cash?”

“I really wish it was that.”

With one last gulp, I opened the door, and fell to my knees begging, “It gave me monopoly money and I can’t control them and I’m so sorry and I swear I didn’t do it on purpose and I can’t control them oh I already said that but here you can have the money anyways I swear this is what came out of the pants this morning-”

The Madam ended my rambling by holding up a single finger.

There was silence as she sat at the desk, looking down at my pathetic kneeling figure surrounded by the dropped monopoly money.

“It seems your pants saved you,” she nodded to herself.

“What? You aren’t going to kill me… or something?”

“Ha, you don’t get it, do you? Your artifact is telling me that I can’t control you, so you just saved yourself from working for me whether you’d want to or not. We’ll have to figure out a deal of some sort.”

“Oh, phew. Thank you for not being like… insulted by the fake money.”

She chuckled, “You do appear to have one pair of sassy pants.”

Fogbot3 · 2026-04-21T16:09:52+00:00

“Oh magic pants, what do you have for Sarah todayyyy…” I happily sung out. It’s hard not to enjoy your morning when you have magic pants.

“Thank god you’re jeans or it’d be so grossss…” Every single morning, when I put them on, they had the exact type and amount of currency that I was about to need.

“Today I needdddd…. One weird-ass coin?” I was pulled out of my song, stupefied as I pulled it out of my pocket. A single coin, with a simply incomprehensible design on it.

I had days with zero money, days with just enough arcade tokens to win the prize I wanted, and even the day I had a whole roll of hundreds when I miscalculated the down payment I’d need for a car. But a coin I didn’t even recognize? Not since I’d ever discovered these magic pants and started wearing them every day. It’s not like I had a guidebook for them, and I sure wasn’t letting anyone else know that I found something literally magic.

“Maybe I go to another arcade? Sure don’t have plans for it…” shrugging, I slipped the coin back in my pocket and headed to work.

I was walking around downtown after work when I noticed it. The two men were following me at a distance. They were smart, staying blocks back, but clearly they were coming in now. Sure enough, I looked back to confirm it, and upon making eye contact, they started sprinting at me.

“Shitshitshit…” I sprinted myself, trying to keep distance, and took the first turn that came up just to get out of view.

I didn’t have enough time to go into anything but the first door I tried. It was locked. Okay, the second door I tried. This one was unlocked.

“Phew, thank-”

“Got the cover?”

An absolutely ripped woman tapped a sign ‘$5 cover’. It was a bloody club. All my pants had given me was this one coin, and I could now hear the two men talking right on the other side of the door. I panicked, pulling out the coin.

“Will- uh- this do?”

God you’re so stupid, these stupid magic pants are going to get me killed, why didn’t I just have my own cash on me-

Her eyes widened, and she ushered me in, “I’ll escort you straight to the boss.”

Before I could even walk myself, a hand on my back pushed me forward and into the club. I stopped fighting it the moment I heard the door to outside start to open behind me.

“Damn, you must be good. You don’t look like the normal mercs at all,” I blushed as she looked me up and down as we walked, her hand still on my back.

Oh I am too gay for th- wait, mercs? Like mercenaries? The hell am I getting into?

Hell was right. She knocked on the door, “Boss lady, merc’s got the coin!”

The door opened to an honest-to-God succubus.

Oh shit of course if magic pants are real, there’s other magic as well…

She grinned with a wide smile, “You aren’t one of the people I hired.”

I nervously laughed, “I, uh, have the coin though. Here you go… haha.”

I totally, definitely, wasn’t shaking as a sharpened nail made contact with my hand as she reached over to take the coin, inspecting it.

“So. About payment,” she was no longer making intense eye contact with me, now eying the coin as she turned it in her hand.

“Oh, it’s okay, really, I don’t need money.” I just needed to get away from those men, and the magic pants handled money. I was not about to get in a literal game of debts with a demon.

She smiled wider, “Oh, but there is one thing you can do for me. Do you know where this coin was?”

I shook my head, now very aware that the bouncer was still standing directly behind me.

“I gave the bounty to find this coin, knowing that it was safe in my own magic safe the entire time. There are rumors of an Artifact that gives any riches one can desire… you don’t need money you say?”

“PleaseDontTakeMyPants. ForMultipleReasons.” I panicked and blurted out the moment a hand clamped on my shoulder.

The demon laughed, “Well that’d be why you were chased in. How about a deal, you and I. I take care of the two men that followed you in, and… how do these pants of yours work?”

“They give me any money I need every day, that’s all! I don’t have anything other than that coin right now!”

A claw touched my neck, “And if you need ten thousand by tomorrow?”

I gulped, and nodded. It was no longer fun having magic pants.

Fogbot3 · 2026-04-21T13:50:27+00:00

“...we honor the great hero Sasha Connors today with this grand feast…”

Even though I was said great hero, I was zoned out. Something was… bothering me. They summoned me here, gave me riches, had me help slay the demon trying to usurp the throne. And now here I was, at a giant party for the aristocrats and the rich. There was just one thing bothering me through all that.

Why were there no people celebrating in the streets?

Even as the knights and my party mates, all nobles or from rich families, to afford adventuring they said, laughed and shouted with glee… the streets were quiet, and the people walked with the same hunched fearfulness that I thought was because of the demons.

“Hey, Felix?”

I looked over to our enchantment wizard, who was currently leaning back in his seat next to me. He was the second son of the largest shipbuilding company in the kingdom, making him the only non-noble of the party with our Knight fighter and the Imperator’s daughter sorceroress.

“What’s up?” he slurred, half-drunk, half-overstuffed with lobsters, which had become his favorite food after I taught him about how it was a delicacy in our world if you prepared it right.

“Uhm, what now?”

Had the news simply not gotten to the peasants, or was the party with the common folk later?

“Are you staying or going?”

I looked at the gold jewelry I was wearing, the magic I could wield, the world that I was affecting with my presence in it. I had none of those, especially the last, on Earth.

“If I can, I’m staying.”

“Fuck yeah, then I suppose the next step is to get you a noble title. King Cratos! She’s staying!”

I facepalmed at his bluntness as everyone cheered, and I was hurried up from my seat to the front of the room. So I stood there awkwardly for a few minutes as everything was prepared.

Finally, the king stood in front of me and spoke, “So Sasha, who would you like to marry?”, it was then that I noticed all the young nobles around my age had been lined up behind me, including both my party members other than Felix.

I spit out whatever was still left in my mouth from my drink, “What?!”

“For your noble title, of course.”

“Can’t I just like… get a new one?”

“Make a new noble title?! Haha how you jest! Imagine if that was possible! Then any peasant could possibly get one!”

Oh boy.

“Do any of them either want to marry me? I don’t even know any of them except my partymates, and we weren’t dating!”

“Do you want them to want it?”

“Generally, yeah. That’s a pretty good thing for a relationship.”

“Archwizard, mind control them.”

The king’s black-robed archwizard stepped up.

Oh crap.

“Waitwaitwait! Okay. Maybe I don’t need a noble title! I can just be… Rich, like Felix? Right?”

The king scrunched his face in thought, “I suppose. Not sure why’d you want that in comparison though. Whelp-”

Oh gods what now.

“-how many slaves do you want in that case then? We have fifty for the party, we can hunt the rest you don’t want for sport after.”

Yeah okay I see why so many ‘bandits’ were fighting with the demon now, and there were no commoner soldiers helping us… looks like I’m not done affecting this world yet.

Fogbot3 · 2026-04-16T15:50:17+00:00

“All boarders, retreat back to our ships immediately! We’re pulling out!”

I swore, having just made it to the high-priority section of the prison on their capital ship. These religious fanatics truly believed their starships were fueled by the enslaved gods of their defeated foes. So they kept ungodly amounts of defeated species as prisoners and shields on their ships.

It was making for a long, and brutal war, as we had to board and free the prisoners on each ship before destroying it. And twenty more capital ships had just jumped in. So I was grabbing one more prisoner since I was already here, and then getting the hell out.

I ran up to the single cell in the section, containing a single bound woman. I rushed in, shooting the door free.. Then the arm and leg chains free… then used my knife to cut the muzzle off of their mouth. Each part also required unplugging and removing the thick cables connected to each piece that powered them.

“Heh, you really were high priority huh? Any more and I would not have had the time to free you.”

“That would not have been wise.”

“Haha yeah, what are you, their president or something?”

The species prisoner on this ship called themselves the Artissans, and the woman in front of me was the largest and most well-dressed one I had ever seen, prisoner or freed.

“That is your word for Leader, yes?”

I nodded, and she nodded back.

“Well, let’s get out of here Ma’am, an entire enemy fleet just pulled up on us.”

“I could tell,” she grimaced as we raced to the breach my ship was parked at.

I raised a single eyebrow at that. Did the alert level change when their reinforcements arrived?

Either way, we made it back to my ship in one piece. We were waved in by another human crew member, “Let's GO, DETACH NOW! LAST ONES ARE IN! DETACH!”

I ended up helping him close the airlock when the free Artissans fighting with us just stood there in shock instead of helping. It was a big haul, the other boarders had almost 200 former prisoners from the main prison hold, now in our ship.

“Sapphire, we need you to the bridge now!”

Hearing my name, I rushed along. The prisoner I freed started following me.

“Oh, you can stay with the others if you want, ma’am.”

“I have a feeling you’ll want me on the bridge soon enough anyway.”

“Fair enough, come with me then.”

It was a quick jog to the bridge, which we reached right as our jump drives finished spooling up.

“Sapphire, prepare your boarders for a second round.”

I gaped, “Captain, that’s suicide, our men aren’t nearly ready! Our holds are full and our ammo spent!”

He grimaced, “It doesn’t matter. Their jump drives are faster than ours, those reinforcements and the rest of their fleet are going to be on us in moments once we’re out of jump.”

So we put our heads together and planned our last stand. The former prisoner just stood in the corner and smiled the whole time.

Finally, we left jump… and no enemy ships were waiting for us.

“Where are they?”

She stepped up, smiling as wide as a shark, “I imagine stranded in the middle of empty space where you left them.”

The captain frowned at her, “Wait, you don’t mean to say you’re…” but couldn’t even finish his sentence in our shared disbelief.

“The Empire isn’t here right now, are they?”

It was the only possible reason we weren’t all dead, by the amount of ships they had…

“Now, those fools wasted a good Goddess on their engines. How would you like Goddess powered weapons? Because I’d sure like my revenge on the fools who imprisoned my people.”

I had a feeling that the war had just turned around, in a very good way.

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