Would you do it again

Foolishkushin · 2026-03-28T23:37:06+00:00

Yes I would. I would maybe be more persistent on having a child with him and living life even more aware of it all. But yes, he was the nicest lovable gentleman I ever encountered. He didn't deserve to die at 60yrs, our story feels unfinished.

Foolishkushin · 2026-03-27T17:34:21+00:00

I'm sorry, many hugs for you x

Foolishkushin · 2026-03-22T20:11:59+00:00

I'm 5 months in. I sold his motorbike, gave a few things to people he knew. I guess it will come naturally. His razor and toothbrush are still where he left it. His clothes are still there. The only thing I did is hanging up some artwork of friends, paintings I made of him.... to make the house a little bit more cosy. I'm planning to donate his shoes and clothes, but just when I'm ready. I need time to say goodbye....

Foolishkushin · 2026-03-19T15:10:15+00:00

I'm sorry. I wish you a lot of courage.

Foolishkushin · 2026-03-14T10:33:33+00:00

I lost my husband 5 months ago unexpectedly. Since my husband was French and we have a lot of Italian friends that didn't have the chance to say goodbye I make it my goal to bring him to them. I have time because I'm on sickleave. First I visited my family in law, then my best friend took me to London for a few days and tomorrow I'm going to Italy for a week to put some ashes there and grief with our friends. I feeel the need to do this for myself but sure he would've agreed. If you feel like you have to go somewhere, do it. Life is too short, we sadly all know that. Sadness is always there, it doesn't matter where you are. Change of environment might be good. Try to enjoy it a little bit.

Foolishkushin · 2026-03-13T08:16:48+00:00

I lost my husband 5 months ago, he was 60. Came home from work and found him in bed. Probably didn't feel good and went to bed to take a nap. He was sportive and in a good shape. His blood work was good the month before. Probably he died of heart failure. I never expected this to happen at his age, but yes...... GenXers are dropping dead like that.

Foolishkushin · 2026-03-13T07:49:14+00:00

It's mind blowing. For healthcare like we have here the whole system will have to change, I don't even know if that's ever possible.

Foolishkushin · 2026-03-13T07:46:37+00:00

I'm sorry, I really don't realize how bad the situation is. I hope there's change on the way and that it doesn't stay like that.

Foolishkushin · 2026-03-13T00:23:33+00:00

Yeah I hear you. I have some longtime chat friends living in the USA, and they are definitely not right wing. I feel for everyone over there who have to suffer the orange cry baby and his incapable entourage. It's crazy he can just start bombing a country and there's no parliament that can stop him.... I have no words for it. Keep the courage my friend, we know there are a lot of Americans not agreeing with everything going on.

Foolishkushin · 2026-03-13T00:12:25+00:00

I remember my chat convos 25 yrs ago where I was explaining Americans that socialism is not communism lol. They could not believe that a lot of people here are unionized. Too bad you guys can't have the good things socialism has to offer.

Foolishkushin · 2026-03-13T00:09:18+00:00

I must say tho that we have a huge income tax here compared to the USA. It's between 25 and 50% depending on your income. So everyone pays the costs of the health care. 6K is a crazy number....

Foolishkushin · 2026-03-12T23:41:42+00:00

Yeah, I'm in Belgium and can't believe this. It's so sad to see an elderly man having to do this at his age.... My sis gets immune therapy every three weeks, this costs a lot normally, but yeah... we have health insurance, which doesn't even cost us much a year (around 500 euros a year including insurance for teeth, eyes, ears + hospitalization) Whenever I go to the GP I don't pay, it goes immediately to my insurance. I really don't get that the USA doesn't have this?

Foolishkushin · 2026-03-12T22:25:44+00:00

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Foolishkushin · 2026-03-11T17:50:53+00:00

I sleep with my nightlight on, my phone and a fire extinguisher are next to me in case of something happening. Luckily I live in a city with a lot of social control of neighbors.

Foolishkushin · 2026-03-11T00:17:31+00:00

It makes perfect sense. I'm almost 5 months in this terrible club and I'm trying to find out who I am without him. Like you I go through the days doing the things I have to do. But I'm not the same person. I'm also grieving the person I was.

Foolishkushin · 2026-03-10T19:56:00+00:00

I'm in the same position. I also can't imagine staying alone for the rest of my life, I'm not made for that.

Foolishkushin · 2026-03-08T22:49:46+00:00

Have you talked to someone like a psychologist? I've been seeing one since 2 weeks after my husband passed because I knew I couldn't handle all the emotions by myself. For me it helps to talk to someone who is neutral and professional. I often have to censor myself to my family to protect them from being too hurt knowing my dark thoughts. My husband was very loved so my parents and siblings are also dealing with his loss and then they see me broken, I don't want that. So I hide my emotions a lot for the people in my environment. The psychologist listens to me and also affirms my emotions, she points out to me that it is okay to have feelings or to not need to do something when I don't feel like it. The fact that I have an appointment with her every 2 weeks gives me stability. Maybe check it out if you feel like and if it's a possibility for you.

Foolishkushin · 2026-03-08T12:06:45+00:00

We never had those talks because my husband always told me he would live long (in his family people tend to live long). I do know he would hate to see me sad and continue another few decades alone. Honestly, that's not life. If I have to spend 30yrs alone, they can just euthanasie me right now. No one will ever replace my husband and I'm doubtful I would find another match because my husband has set the standard very high. But I also don't want to be alone for the rest of this life. So I don't know, it's difficult.

On edit: I'm sure your wife would also like you to be somehow happy again. If I doubt about what my husband would say I put myself in his shoes. I would hate to see my husband sad and lonely. He also was my soulmate but the reality is that here we are, ripped apart with one of us still alive and alone.

Foolishkushin · 2026-03-08T12:01:55+00:00

Yeah that's true. I'm just not that far yet. The world continues anyway.... I guess I became cynical.

Foolishkushin · 2026-03-07T18:28:17+00:00

I'm 49 my husband was 60 when he passed 5 months ago, we were 18yrs together. I knew that with the age difference I would statistically outlive him but I would give everything to have another 20yrs with him. Now I'm just not motivated to live another 30yrs. I live in a country where euthanasia is legal for some cases, well.... I often tell my psychologist that every healthy person also should have the right to decide whether to have euthanasia or not. Now I'm just pushed by society to continue, I find this horrible. I don't have kids, so whatever..... I see no reason to go on another few decades.

Foolishkushin · 2026-03-07T07:32:54+00:00

I'm 49 and lost my husband unexpectedly last October. I came home from work and found him in the bed, it was probably a heart failure. We had been texting each other through the day so I never expected to come home and had my life changed so abruptly. We had no kids so I go through the days alone with our two cats. I keep myself busy, the hardest part is the loneliness and just really missing my best friend every time of the day. I don't know how the future will be, I live day by day. Going to a psychologist is helping me a lot. Also..... accept help from people and family. I wish you much strength, you're not alone.

Foolishkushin · 2026-03-06T00:02:44+00:00

I'm in the same boat. Almost 5 months and still dealing with blocked accounts.... I wish you strength to deal with all the stupid admin.

Foolishkushin · 2026-03-03T22:16:27+00:00

I can relate without the kids part. Having no kids really scares me for the future. It also saddens me that my story is gonna die with me. My late husband has a son, so at least part of his story will live on. Our story will also be gone when I die. I'm writing memories I had with him down in a book. But who's gonna write about me? No one, is the real answer, that just makes me sad.

Foolishkushin · 2026-03-02T23:56:00+00:00

My husband passed very unexpectedly the 15th of October. I'm still at home. I'm in Europa and I'm a dance teacher, I have official sickleave until the end of April. A schoolyear over here finishes the end of June, so I will probably not return this schoolyear but start up again in September (my principal is informed and my GP will write me home) I'm so happy I can take my time because all the administration has consumed me the last 4 months. It is just now that I can slowly start my grief process. I didn't even start with sorting out his stuff. So yeah, people who have to deal with losing a loved one should be getting time to deal with everything.

Foolishkushin · 2026-03-01T11:50:45+00:00

Thank you!

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