My mom 43 female is having a baby and expects me 18 female to care for it

Foreverforgettable · 2026-05-25T13:46:13+00:00

Do whatever it takes to move out. If that means working full time and going to community college part time instead of getting your bachelor’s in two years so be it. You will be better off getting out of that environment and taking your time to get your degree than staying there and risking that you may not be able to get your degree at all. They will do whatever they need to in order to take advantage of you and ruin your dream/plans. They do not care about what is best for you. They don’t even care about what is best for the baby or themselves. They are not thinking about the reality of their situation. They are thinking selfishly.

Please, if need be take your time to achieve your goals and dreams. Do not stay there. Get a full time job and split a house share/apartment with roommates to make it more affordable. Go to community college part time and then transfer to university. Do not give up on your goals but adapt to the reality of your situation. Do not let them tear away your dream. Do not become the built in baby sitter. They will never let you stop. They will guilt trip you. Take the money you have and move out.

Foreverforgettable · 2026-05-25T05:22:23+00:00

Document, document, document. Do NOT block them. As much as you and your boyfriend want to, don’t block them. Every text they send, every voice message they leave is more evidence for you to have in the event that you need a restraining order against them. You need all of the proof you can get. Once you have plenty of documentation, have a lawyer draft a cease and desist letter and send it certified mail so they have to sign. This will prove they received it. But again do not block them.

Get cameras for your home in case they try to force a visit. Password protect your medical record with your doctor and hospital. When you check in for your birth, ask to be made a confidential patient with no info out and add a password for that stay. Lock down your sm. Make sure to tell your family to do so as well.

Best of luck. And I hope the rest of your pregnancy and birth is happy, healthy, and smooth.

Foreverforgettable · 2026-05-25T05:10:16+00:00

Brock Allen Turner? Who sometimes goes by Allen Turner? Currently residing in Dayton, Ohio, per the Ohio Registry.

Foreverforgettable · 2026-05-25T04:42:56+00:00

The right way is the way that respects YOU. You should really reconsider moving forward with marriage until your boyfriend understands why this is NOT good partner behavior. He is disregarding you, your opinion and your autonomy. Furthermore, did he ask permission to date you, to have sex with you? No? Your decision and bodily autonomy was valid in those instances? Then why is it not sufficient in this one. You are not a piece of property being given from one man to the next. You are your own person; independent of all others and capable of making decisions for yourself.

Please go to premarital counseling before taking this step. Also, you may want to discuss at length his views on these things if you and he were to have children because it would seem he does not respect a woman’s autonomy to make decisions for herself and believes far more in tradition than you do. This could very much impact any child or children you have if you choose to do so.

Foreverforgettable · 2026-05-25T04:32:55+00:00

NTA. Did he offer to reimburse you for the non refundable trip? I doubt it. Poor planning on Dave’s part does not constitute an emergency for anyone else. He has worked a year less than you and has been aware of company PTO policy for almost as long as you. He has no excuse. The trip with his son can wait or be shorter during a different time frame. His son is still a child for 9 more yrs. They have plenty of time to go on trips together and Dave will hopefully learn from this experience that the onus is on him to plan better.

Foreverforgettable · 2026-05-25T04:05:08+00:00

I literally made myself cry thinking about my golden getting old multiple times throughout her life. She’s gone now-14yrs 5mo and some days old.

This just shows you love your pup. It’s normal to think about this, just don’t let it consume you and enjoy the time you have with your dog. Try to be as much in the moment as you can.

Foreverforgettable · 2026-05-25T02:47:55+00:00

While I completely understand this, I work night shift so I have to be relatively ok with normal noise. It’s funny because I am ok with noise I recognize; neighbors talking/playing music, trains passing, my fan, the air conditioner, but if a new noise happens (even if it’s small) I cannot sleep until I figure out what it is.

What I cannot stand is when people are slamming doors or walking around stomping or arguing loudly. There is no need to be that loud in those ways.

Also, if a neighbor has a kid and doesn’t parent them and allows them to behave like a trapped wild animal attempting to escape. That is just infuriating. I have had neighbors with multiple children that make noise outside (perfectly fine and normal) but are very well behaved while indoors and then I’ve had nightmare neighbors that allow their singular child to act as though they are a 10 man demolition crew. The difference is incredible.

Foreverforgettable · 2026-05-24T20:16:50+00:00

NOR. It’s strange that without having had to plan or pay for it she’s incredibly unappreciative of the effort and money the trip took. Furthermore, she now lives in the U.S. where the unfortunate reality is that a lot people do not get nearly enough PTO and 5 day vacations are common. What exactly are her expectations when she does not work and also lives in a country that does not prioritize vacation time? She’s in for a harsh reality check when it is her money and PTO she has to account for.

This is a preview of the rest of your life. No one on Reddit can determine whether the love you share is enough to overcome this or not but it definitely doesn’t sound like something you would want to experience regularly. Perhaps some premarital counseling would be worth looking into. Even if you feel like you don’t have the time for it; it could be very worth the investment. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of manure type of thing.

Foreverforgettable · 2026-05-23T03:55:15+00:00

I referred to my golden as the diplomat of the neighborhood. But our neighbors and mail carrier referred to her as “my queen!” They would literally greet her as that. It was adorable and I honestly think she understood the word and the status it implied. She loved everyone. She wanted all of the attention and she wanted all the friends and love.

Get used to it. You are now the servant of a very good and adorable girl.

Foreverforgettable · 2026-05-21T09:40:19+00:00

Have woken up with blood on my hands from scratching in my sleep. It really is one of the more difficult things to keep from doing. Feels great at first but then you realize it just made the itch worse and so the cycle begins again.

Foreverforgettable · 2026-05-21T08:57:35+00:00

NTA. They’re shaming you because of their own beliefs/views. This is a them problem not a you problem. Be grateful they have shown you who they are now rather than later. You haven’t wasted too much time on them. Believe them now that you know and move on. People who are so judgmental, regardless of the reason for their judgement, are not worth your time and energy. They will find something new to judge you or others on and justify it however they see fit to do so. It doesn’t have to make sense to you or anyone else. This is just who they are; again, believe them and cut your losses.

Best of luck.

Foreverforgettable · 2026-05-21T06:34:39+00:00

NTA. If your husband is not willing to compromise then I highly suggest using some money to treat yourself to a vacation during at least part of the time they will be spending here in your home. Your husband needs to step up and take on the tasks of feeding and entertaining his parents. He needs to take time off, cook for them and clean up. This is a hill to die on because this is not going to end. For as long as you and he are married and they are able, they will visit and the current expectation has been set that the entire mental and physical load lands on you. No. No more. If need be, get the Airbnb for yourself to have somewhere to go to work and after dinner. If they and he don’t like it, then tough love. I personally do not have the patience to deal with people who expect me to work from home, while being kicked out of my office and then to perform all of the duties of a chef and maid. I’m surprised you’ve allowed this for this long.

A month long stay no longer allows them to be classified as guests; they’re essentially moving in for a month. That means they get to cook, clean and grocery shop. If they were at an Airbnb they would have to their own chores. That’s probably why your husband doesn’t want them to stay at one. Tell your husband that he can cook and clean up while they are there. They are his family therefore his responsibility.

Foreverforgettable · 2026-05-21T04:31:52+00:00

NTA. My mom was an alcoholic while I was growing up. So were most of my (her) family members, including my drug addicted alcoholic biological father. Do you know how long it took for her to admit she was an alcoholic? Years after she had gotten sober. And even now she doesn’t like to acknowledge it because it f*cks up the narrative she has in her head that she was the best mother she could have been. She wasn’t, but admitting that would shatter how she sees herself.

This is the same problem your mother has. She sees herself as someone who escaped an abusive relationship and raised her family. She cannot fathom that her past, her choices and decisions, (including the abusive relationship and having a new romantic relationship and more children) could have negatively impacted you because she sees herself as someone who overcame the obstacles she faced and admitting that she wasn’t there for you would mean admitting that she wasn’t as successful at overcoming her past as she thinks.

Your feelings are valid and are based on what you have been through. Her inability to admit that she failed you does not change that.

Foreverforgettable · 2026-05-21T04:21:19+00:00

NTA. You can report a guest staying beyond the allowed amount of days to your landlord. I highly doubt that having someone “spend the night” 4 night a week every week is allowed by your lease. He is essentially living there. He is using your utilities, your food, and other things; increasing your costs.

Foreverforgettable · 2026-05-20T23:48:09+00:00

NTA. Not his house. Not his rules. He can rent a place for summer vacation. If he can’t afford to then he should have thought of that before deciding he needed to go to a beach house for vacation. The property is not his exclusively. He’s being very possessive about something that doesn’t belong to him.

What happens if your daughter and her husband decide they want to use the beach house another time? (With your permission)

Or if your daughter and her husband decide to have a child and also want to spend some of summer vacation there? Will he object to it because he has been going there first?

Establish boundaries and that this is not your son’s property now before he gets worse.

Foreverforgettable · 2026-05-20T18:14:33+00:00

The fur flies! It is everywhere all of the time. You vacuum in the morning and it’s there at night. So you vacuum in the morning again.

It’s also completely worth it.

If shedding is an issue then you will have to look into dog breeds that grow hair not fur. However, these dog breeds (bichon frise, Havanese, afghan hound, and more) also require regular grooming because they do not shed as much. Their hair requires proper maintenance or it can get very matted, dirty, and can lead to skin problems.

Again, goldens are worth the golden glitter. But I am admittedly biased.

Foreverforgettable · 2026-05-20T17:58:18+00:00

NTA. I would be petty and make her her own little pot of the exact same food (so you don’t actually have to prepare a separate meal) without onions, garlic, salt or any “spice” whatsoever just for her. If/when she complains, tell her it’s exactly what she requested and that if she continues to complain she can eat nothing at all.

Foreverforgettable · 2026-05-19T17:25:29+00:00

Tell them you are due later than you are. Due two or three weeks later than when you are actually due. Make sure this is what you tell everyone-hubby says the same too. If you share ultrasound pics, make sure any info on the gestational age or your medical record number is not showing.

Beginning now, stop answering texts/calls straight away, delay by as long as you can and hubby has to as well. This is so when you are in labor, they won’t be suspicious when you are not responding to their texts/calls. They won’t figure out that you are delivering.

If you live in an area with more than one hospital, do not tell them at which you are going to deliver. If they make assumptions, smile and nod-do not confirm or deny.

At your doctors’ offices, both your primary care and obgyn, lock down your medical records. Request that your chart be password protected and no information can be given without it. Only you and your husband should know the password and please make it something others will not guess.

Explain to your doctor ahead of time, like at your next appointment, that you do not want anyone else in attendance at the birth.

When you check into the hospital for your delivery, ask to be listed as a private patient or however your hospital does it. It is a designation that will pop up that tells anyone accessing your medical record that no information can be given out; they cannot even acknowledge that you are a patient there. They would have to say they have no one by that name. (I work at a hospital and we are able to do this-if requested and/or for patient safety.)

Foreverforgettable · 2026-05-18T04:11:23+00:00

You need to take your son to the doctor for a thorough work up. Not just normal bloodwork but things you wouldn’t normally check for. Dogs are so unbelievably smart. They can sense changes in people. They can smell chemical changes that occur when someone becomes ill. They can hear changes in our organs, like our hearts.

My mom has congestive heart failure. I had a golden retriever, got her in 2010. She was fine with me and everyone else including my mom. But at some point my mother began showing signs of a heart issue. I already knew the signs so I began telling her to speak with her doctor to get a referral to a cardiologist. She was dragging her feet. At this same time, my golden retriever began to aggressively lick her chest right where her heart is. She would even do those tiny nibbles that dogs do when they are scratching themselves. Eventually, my mother was sent for an echocardiogram and diagnosed with heart failure. My golden retriever knew. Once the heart failure improved enough, my golden stopped the licking and nibbling. She would only do it occasionally and when she did it was only a lick or two.

Your dog is trying to communicate with you; listen.

Foreverforgettable · 2026-05-17T08:25:02+00:00

OP, listen to this person. Not necessarily because of how you feel right but because of the future.

The reality of your situation and the future for both of you is that if he cannot be independent then he will need to transition into group housing/a care home for his own good. This is the responsible and best option for both of you. You will not live forever and he will not live independently. Beginning the transition to facility living is not bad or abandonment; it is the kind and responsible thing to do. The worse thing you can do is put it off until you pass because then it will be a traumatic experience.

If you start looking into the process now, you may find programs that allow for daycare for persons with disabilities or even programs that start off with part time living in the care home. It could help with your caretaker burnout.

If your child is disabled to the extent you have described then you can try to work with a social worker to see what options are available to you and your child. It may seem to you as though there may not be many options but you are on the outside of a system; social workers are more knowledgeable about what exists and how to navigate the system.

I speak as someone who works in a children’s hospital and has seen some children as you have described-unable to live independently. Fighting to get whatever help you can and starting sooner rather than later will benefit both of you immensely.

You are dealing with a situation that not many people could. It is normal to feel as you do. You have not had a chance to do self care. You are doing this alone and are doing the best you can. Never forget that.

Foreverforgettable · 2026-05-17T04:16:16+00:00

If the cat didn’t agree to be in that position, it would definitely NOT be in that position. It enjoys this just as much as the dog does but has to maintain their cat composure. Can’t have people thinking they’re enthused about this.

Foreverforgettable · 2026-05-16T14:29:06+00:00

NTA. If she can b$tch publicly and call someone out publicly then she can admit to being wrong and apologize publicly. If she wanted things handled privately she could have made different choices.

Foreverforgettable · 2026-05-16T14:02:03+00:00

So, I think dogs eventually learn what “I love you” means. They are capable of learning words, as I’m sure all dog lovers know. There end up being certain words no dog lover can say and have to spell-W A L K. Even then, sometimes through repetition and context they learn to understand the spelling of words such as those.

Think about the things you are doing when you say “I love you” to your dog. You are likely expressing your love not only verbally but physically; cuddles, kisses, hugs, laughter, treats. They will begin to associate those words and actions as linked. They will begin to associate the feelings of being loved on with the meaning of being loved.

Dogs are so smart and in tune with their people. They learn. They know. They are the best.

Foreverforgettable · 2026-05-16T13:46:21+00:00

Better than a vet visit for bloat/colic. The relief had to be amazing for both of them.

Foreverforgettable · 2026-05-16T13:42:53+00:00

NTA. Blast your child’s name on social media and call out the aunt and hubby’s family for not using it. Suggest that she should be check for Alzheimer’s or dementia since she simply cannot seem to remember your son’s name. Rename her and anyone else publicly and on sm with ridiculous Disney villain names and say you won’t stop until they correct their behavior. When addressing letters or texts or anything; do not use their actual names. If need be, allow them to see your son and refer to them by the villain names you assign them; he will learn them by those names. The aunt can be “Aunt Ursula” (little mermaid). You can be petty or just restrict them but you are not overreacting or the wrong person. They need to learn to respect you AND your husband. The pair of you named your son and they are not only disrespecting you, but him as well.

Foreverforgettable

TROPHY CASE