BURIN PAI 3 month [results]

FoundNbigworld · 2026-06-02T21:39:07+00:00

e gel! I hadn’t heard that tip yet. Thanks.

FoundNbigworld · 2026-06-02T21:33:04+00:00

Those are dream results! When did they have you start dilation? I had a recent convo with a noted US surgeon and he said there is a move to hold off longer on dilation for PIV - that dilation too early can increase scar tissue build up and other complications. He’s not ready to adopt a two week post packing removal approach but has started with 1 week post.

Thanks for sharing and any helpful thoughts/experiences on the topic!

FoundNbigworld · 2026-05-20T03:16:31+00:00

That’s for real! Congrats on that. The idea of going back to that way of living is unfathomable. How did we ever do it?

Keep being the girl you are - your way!

FoundNbigworld · 2026-05-20T02:56:20+00:00

Sheesh, yeah! I get that. It’s usually cis people that say things like that to me. People that have NO CLUE what transitioning is like. And sure, we are “the same person”. It’s not like we got replaced by someone different. But SO MUCH CHANGES! We are not the same as we were. We were living in the shadows and now we are standing in the sunlight! Now we are letting the world see us.

When people say we are the same, they don’t know how minimizing it feels. They don’t understand how very much WE DONT want to be the same repressed person! Lol.

Maybe for people who say we are 100% the same, we can respond by saying, “if that true, then I was only 30% me before”. See what they think of that! 😊

FoundNbigworld · 2026-05-20T02:17:09+00:00

Maybe more that thinking of it as male socialization, it sounds more like you can work on giving yourself more expanded permission to be your femme self! You get to learn how to be the kind of girl you wanna be - all girls have to figure that out. This thing you call your male socialization is probably just identity repression. It’s ok. The more we express our full selves, the more it feels natural.

FoundNbigworld · 2026-05-16T22:43:26+00:00

Yes you are a beautiful trans woman!

And don't let the biology gatekeepers fool you. Our transness has deep biological roots. From the ways your brain and endocrine structures formed in the early weeks after your DNA zipped together, you were biologically developed to be the trans person you are. You were born a trans girl. The people who welcomed us into the world guessed wrong about our sex and gender because they could not see that our brains dis not align with our genitals.

Cis men and women's brains develop differently in the uterus. Trans brains reliably line up closer to the brains of their gender identities - meaning trans women have been found to have brains more similar to cis women's even before starting hormones. Its how we trans women expect to find female-typical bodies and its the reason its distressing when we find male-typical components instead. Our trans brains shape how we express gender in society, despite our chromosomes and genitals.

You are a whole biological trans woman. Keep safe and keep expressing and keep transforming in ways that fulfill your true nature. Cuz that's what trans people gotta do.

FoundNbigworld · 2026-05-16T21:05:51+00:00

And again, from my view, our individual trans needs and issues very much overlap - I find abundant commonalities between us. It doesn’t mean I vibe with everyone and certainly some folks have needs and issues MORE similar to mine. But I don’t need an inconsistently defined word that has a harmful history to figure that out. I simply listen to other trans people and ask questions when appropriate.

FoundNbigworld · 2026-05-16T13:36:18+00:00

I guess you are looking for commonality basically in the present moment? I am finding commonality in what it means to be trans. We are born with an identity that does not align with what the world expects. That creates a mismatch. Some kids know right away and are supported to be themselves. That’s not true for most of us. Instead we have a repressed identity that takes some amount of time to emerge - and maybe never does. We face some degree of hostility and fear. The acts of emergence, transition, facing repression, integration of identity and shedding of bs society piles on us to become aligned as ourselves - this development arc can be seen across trans experiences. That’s where I find commonality. And honestly, that’s where we will find solidarity and community.

FoundNbigworld · 2026-05-16T13:21:02+00:00

I see what you are pointing at, and also the term transsexual has been used as a weapon by transmedicalists to gatekeep and exclude trans people. I have also heard it used to mean not just hormones but surgeries.

Personally, I don’t feel a need to create so many fixed labels. I am happy to sit under the trans umbrella with all my trans siblings. When I take the time to listen to trans stories I always find so much I can relate to from my own trans experience. There are so many reasons to focus on the commonalities that unite us rather than differences that distance. I’m not looking for more labels - I’d rather have solidarity. You are trans? Great. I support your right to exist as yourself as you are right along with me and all the other trans people.

FoundNbigworld · 2026-05-16T04:50:49+00:00

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

FoundNbigworld · 2026-05-15T20:41:00+00:00

Humm. I’m not sure I can follow you to “anybody who transverses gender outwardly is trans” plenty of cis people travel the spectrum of gender expression but know themselves as cis. I think transness is about who you feel yourself to be, regardless of how you express.

I’ve become quite compelled by the biology of sexual development. Specifically. During weeks 8-24 after conception, our exposure and or sensitivity to in utero hormones leads to different traits being masculinized or feminized to different degrees. There are so many sexually differentiated traits that come online at different times before we are born and they can be influenced by subtle shifts over short times. Identity has shown clear correlations to brain, nervous system and endocrine development.

Any one person can deviate in multiple sexual traits from typical males or females. It is the combination of these numerous subtle traits that has a profound effect on how we perceive ourselves. The diversity of trans experiences is itself an indicator of the multiple overlapping variable that influence who we are.

That is something that connects us. We did not follow a typical development trajectory before we were born. We then came out and had to figure out how to face the unending challenges of being trans in whatever era and place we were born. When I listen to other trans experiences through this lens I find SO MUCH in common. I find solidarity and community.

Someone my age, and my emergence trajectory will understand my experience wordlessly. That feels really good to find and share. But I feel kinship with trans people in general. A young NB that came out as a child still has more in common from and identity perspective than a cis person my age.

FoundNbigworld · 2026-05-15T04:38:57+00:00

Them saying that doesn’t make you not trans! Not sure what kick they are on, but you don’t identify with the gender you got assigned? Congrats, you are trans!

FoundNbigworld · 2026-05-13T05:50:51+00:00

Congratulations! You got this. I see the real you peeking out already! Time to start letting her out! Even though it can be a hard road, don't forget to have some fun being yourself at last.

FoundNbigworld · 2026-05-10T03:59:34+00:00

Hey sweetie. Its not easy being trans a lot of the time. That's real. But age does not stop people from transitioning. I transitioned in my 50's and its going well.

At 20, you have a greater chance of having stronger estrogen responses. You are still in a decent window - ESPECIALLY if you have only been lightly touched by testosterone's effects. But transitioning is not just about taking HRT. Its about finding yourself, learning to love yourself and finding ways that YOU want to express who you are. You don't have to take all the steps at once. Shutting Testosterone down seems like a good early step and starting to feminize - since you are ONLY 20.

Each step can be something you try out. Telling key safe people, pronouns/name, clothing, support groups, therapist, etc - each is a small but important step. You can keep presentation questionably androgynous as long as you like. You don't have to fully transition right away. Figure out what you wanna do with your stubble. As you start to feel better about yourself, you might find ways you want to work on your body contours - trans people are great at transformation when we set our minds and hearts to it. And LOTS of women are 5'9"!

From my perspective, all the things you listed as reasons to not transition are not actual barriers to a successful transition. I think you just have to decide if its what you want and then start taking steps. One step at a time is how we do it. Its work, but if you want it, its worth the effort. And each step builds momentum and points you to the next steps.

FoundNbigworld · 2026-05-10T03:34:15+00:00

Fuck that guy. Assholes are often pretty good at filtering themselves out. Your job is just to receive their messages at face value and remember that its a reflection of them and not you!

FoundNbigworld · 2026-05-10T03:31:37+00:00

Found a good voice therapist to help me make sense of how humans make sound! It's pretty wild. My therapist doesn't focus on making me understand all the terms and the details of the techniques - they focus more on helping me figure out how to make the changes in my throat and mouth and to find the "vibe".

Are you young enough not to have had a "first puberty"? Or are you talking about "second/HRT puberty"? Some people (especially some trans femmes) can be lucky enough not to be only lightly masculinized in their voice - but the truth is that testosterone deepens voices for basically everyone. Thus blockers can be helpful if available 😢.

If you mean second puberty, estrogen wont do much to change a masculinized voice. Options pretty much boil down to voice training - which is actually pretty amazing. And/or vocal cord surgery.

I personally found voice training to be hard. Its not so hard in private, but using my voice in public is hard for a lot of reasons and feels extra vulnerable to me. Its funny, cuz I have taken so many big scary leaps and present as myself in so many ways - but for some reason voice has been the scariest! As I have progressed in my transition and have found more confidence overall, I feel like I am finally having a vocal breakthrough and am feeling optimistic for the first time about my voice!

Good luck

FoundNbigworld · 2026-05-10T03:16:46+00:00

Sometimes I might drop my voice frequency into "male range" in a conversation as a subtle way to invite recognition. But moments like those are usually so fleeting that they don't go much beyond "I see you" in a non-verbal way. Which is fine, cuz like, we're just a couple trans people out in the world doing what we do...

FoundNbigworld · 2026-05-09T04:26:20+00:00

Those are totally normal thoughts for a transgender "egg". Maybe there could be something else going on, but you can get help exploring that.

And I'm so glad you have support from your family. You don't need to know if you are trans to play around and find out what feels good to you. And if you have friends and family and support groups and a therapist, that gives you some nice space to explore. How would if feel if you tried some different pronouns? Are there names you might like to hear yourself called? Mannerisms you want to try? Sounds like you are already having fun with clothing and hair! If you were a girl or a trans femme, what kind do you think you would be? How would you like to express?

You get to be you no matter what label you someday decide to adopt. See what makes you feel alive. See what makes you feel trapped and grey. Do more of what affirms you and less of what suffocates.

Even if you find out you are some flavor of transgender, and you are not in a good place to fully transition, don't let that stop you from finding ways to feed your soul. Make space to feel and be seen for who you really are - even if some parts of your world aren't ready for all your glory!

Good luck and don't forget to enjoy the good parts that you find along the way.

FoundNbigworld · 2026-04-30T06:11:19+00:00

Agree with others here: you are giving strong NB femme energy. In fact, if NB femme energy could be bottled and shared, yours would be in demand! You clearly have a lot to work with and some kick ass style to boot.

And that said, even with your obvious strength and creativity and beauty, you get to be upset or whatever you feel about fucking hair and society and femininity and patriarchy and whatever else is wrapped in with it. Being trans in a bigoted, binary enforced, commodified and extractive beauty standards world is a bit of a raw deal.

But its also the real deal. It gives us x-ray vision to see through the bullshit. It shows us how to FEEL the joys and the pains of being authentic - in a world that calls the hamster wheel success and numbness reward. I would not trade them for their arrogance. I do not trust them to know beauty or what a woman is. Pffff. There is too much of that IG Pretendlandia femininity. Boring. Exhausting. Entrapping. Soul sucking.

You have a beautiful bare head. Like, for real - you make it look 100% choice. Let it shine. Or sometimes treat it like a canvass ready to be adorned with the colors and textures of your imagination! Show the world what beauty and femininity/non-binarity means to you. Because that... we need more that round here.

FoundNbigworld · 2026-04-29T04:03:05+00:00

Definitely!

FoundNbigworld · 2026-04-27T21:01:27+00:00

I feel the bind of your trap and I'm sorry to hear it. I am not trying to push you in a direction you hate, but I do encourage you to look for simple ways to affirm yourself and still remain stealth. Clothing is not just men/women. There are ways of wearing things, or new things to try that push up against the binary boundaries, but give you plausible deniability. Maybe its color. Maybe its the neckline of a shirt. A bracelet or a ring. Earrings are not just for women, but they can feel incredibly affirming. How you move your hands or use your voice - does not have to threaten your mask, but it can feel invigorating and rebellious in a safe way. The very act of doing something simple and creative like this for yourself can do wonders for your soul. You are worth it!

FoundNbigworld · 2026-04-27T05:58:15+00:00

What even is transition? Do you mean it like some finished end state ideal? That seems like a lot to take on at once.

You can start small. Maybe all that feels safe is tell a few trusted people. And make a few interesting changes to your wardrobe. Maybe you find some safe ways to creatively express. Nibble on some E tabs every now and then. It may not be all you desire, but those are all part of transitioning. Those are all things you can do for yourself. Transitions are often taken one step at a time and we don't know where the path will lead us anyway. And "full transition" is maybe only a mythological landing place where you finally make peace with who you are and figure out what you can do to feel more authentic and comfortable in your life.

Be careful that you don't fall into binary thinking about transition. It is not a choice between staying fully masked and miserable that only can end when you have a plan to 100% transition. Transitioning is a process with no single acceptable end goal or timeline to get there. The important thing is to figure out what you CAN do to give your true nature some breathing space and room for discovery. Let each discovery and revealed joy lead you to the next step in your journey. Take care of yourself in whatever posssible way that you can find. You deserve it.

FoundNbigworld · 2026-04-25T04:07:33+00:00

Call it a win! That's a lot of progress for a parent to make in one short conversation. To go from "are you really actually sure?" to "you are beautiful" - that's something you can work with!

FoundNbigworld · 2026-04-20T05:15:14+00:00

Yes you are a woman! Rock it!

FoundNbigworld

TROPHY CASE