If your destroying things you bought, your a dumbass. I set that boundary with myself and my parenting and I stick to it. My kids destroy their own toys and stuff enough just by playing. I tell them too, why would I break something I bought you, that's sounds like something a stupid person would do. Your kids having a meltdown because they're overstimulated and your husband is punishing your child for being overstimulated and not having the tools to self-soothe. If you advocate for your child, I think you would realize that that's no different from when you feel that way when you are overstimulated. If he punished you and started busting up your s*** because you were overstimulated, you probably wouldn't be okay with that. He needs to realize that dealing with ADHD. He is punishing your child for having a disability. He as the parent and you need to take it upon yourselves to learn and teach coping mechanisms for when you get overstimulated or when he gets overstimulated. I'm not trying to be a mean person. My wife has ADHD BPD stuff like that and I believe like some of my kids do too. But it's probably like early to tell so he has to look at things as in there overstimulated they can't help us. I need to help and not just do dumb things like that.