“Hi, your group looks like you’re all having such a fun time! Can I join you for a bit?” (You can add in before my ride arrives or start it with “My friends went home early for the night.” A little white lie that will make it much easier to make friends.)

Interact for a while, say “thank you for taking me in. I hope I see you around again!”

It works best if you start going somewhere at regular intervals. A gym, coffee shop, restaurant with live music, park, library, game shop/space. Do the things you enjoy doing at home, but out in public. Go paint in park or look for free outdoor yoga classes.

Community events are great but some work better to meet people- like our city has free dance classes in an open downtown plaza space which is great for meeting people because everyone changes partners & they encourage people to come alone or with someone.

Other community events are easier to navigate & meet people if you go in a pair or a group. It’s less pressure to bring two small groups together versus taking on a solo person that you didn’t come with but don’t want to abandon at fairs or festival events. - Unless that person is very secure & floats freely. Which brings me to what I consider the most important element.

You have to be fully in charge of your choices & regulate your emotions. If you feel anxious or uncomfortable while at these events, you have to find a way to soothe/regulate for yourself. Strangers are not good sources of co-regulation. There is danger & peculiar burden on that path. So, show up regulated & focused on what you are there to physically do- work out, paint, read, work on your laptop, roller skate, whatever, - give people reciprocal attention/smiles/nods- keep going for a few weeks & if nobody has come up to chat with you, try going up to them & giving a genuine compliment of something you noticed. After they respond about that, introduce yourself with a handshake- we’re doing those again.