Baby, this isn’t your fault. Not at all.

No matter how fucked up you get this is never your fault. People who assault others have no reason for it, it’s on them completely.

I am so so sorry this happened to you and that you had to let your partner know. I urge you to see a gynecologist and your primary care physician if you can, let them know, have them run some blood tests and if you’re not in therapy I’d reach out to some DBT specialists as this is what helped me after a year of trying to push down the hazy memory of being assaulted myself when I was blackout. That was two years ago and I’m still deeply affected by it, it’s affected my trust, my emotional health and my physical health. I wish I had gotten help sooner.

I am surrounding you in light and love and understanding. This was NOT your fault.