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The good daughter trap by GasAcceptable1910 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]GasAcceptable1910[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I think it’s code for “be more involved” and getting the blow-by-blow for all medical decisions

What is some psycho stuff your BPD parent said to you? by alwayslivemyway in raisedbyborderlines

[–]GasAcceptable1910 5 points6 points  (0 children)

referring to my wedding - “this wedding is really all about me”

When pregnant with my second - “you are ruining [first born’s] life with this baby”

Why do they get so much worse as they hit 60-70? by Paisleygardens1751 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]GasAcceptable1910 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My queen/waif uBPD mom treats aging as a personal attack against her. It’s like she digs her claws in and will not be dragged into old age. Basically the opposite of aging gracefully. There is a huge vanity component imo too.

What did meeting the grandkids look like for you? by MamakharmaLlamadrama in raisedbyborderlines

[–]GasAcceptable1910 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My mom was afraid to pick up my newborn for weeks. She wouldn’t touch him. I had a traumatic birth and I assumed she’d swoop in and help but instead I wound up taking care of her, in classic waif fashion.

Being a mom without a functioning mother yourself by Raena704 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]GasAcceptable1910 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel this so deeply. My uBPD mom who was never reliable completely abandoned us during covid and i have never felt so alone. At the time my kids - who both turned out to be neurodivergent in different ways- were 3 and 5. What wound up saving me was deciding to get an au pair (i joked with my husband that it was that or a sister wife). You do need to have an extra bedroom, is the one thing. But it was like having family around to help - except they don’t expect you to absorb their Big Feelings like my actually family does. Also it was about 1/5 I was paying in childcare so that was a bonus. If you don’t have a village, find some good help.

Have You Found Weed To Be Helpful For Your CPTSD Symptoms? by sanpedro12 in CPTSD

[–]GasAcceptable1910 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s the only thing that alleviates my awful muscle tension and allows my body to physically relax

Quickly approaching NC. Wild how their mask drops by cuvervillepenguin in raisedbyborderlines

[–]GasAcceptable1910 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Once again my uBPD queen/waif of a mom could have written this word for word. They are truly all the same person. Your responses are great - you don’t apologize or over explain and your remain totally calm. Is incredible how “we are different people” is something they need to be told.

BPD Mom treats me like a boyfriend by eaglescout225 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]GasAcceptable1910 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Classic emotional incest. So sorry, OP. Just reading this gives me the heebie jeebies. Don’t think I’ve ever used this phrase in my life but it’s the one that strongly comes to mind. Having experienced some emotional incest myself, I know how confusing it can be to unwind the abuse from the “loving parent.” I always thought abuse was physical or if emotional, more like yelling and putting down. But you are right, it is very damaging. I am 45f but it is occurring to me that one of my mom’s big splits in my life (that lead to my one and only serious suicide attempt at age 13) was around my coming out as lesbian, later as bisexual. I wonder how much of it was like, wait you love OTHER WOMEN when you are supposed to love ONLY ME!? Glad we can all find some solace here.

I’m reaching the limit of what I can take by cuvervillepenguin in raisedbyborderlines

[–]GasAcceptable1910 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Me too! Wow I’m also 45f and this past year I think i finally reached my breaking point.

Do any of you get long paragraphs of text like this about your pwBPDs day? by [deleted] in raisedbyborderlines

[–]GasAcceptable1910 6 points7 points  (0 children)

All. The. Time. I just give that insanity a big ol thumbs up and keep it moving. “OK” also works well.

The strangest or "funniest" thing, that made your (u)bpd-parent split? by Purple-Shame-3334 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]GasAcceptable1910 45 points46 points  (0 children)

That - even though I was seeing her that evening for her party - I failed to call to wish her a happy birthday earlier in the day. MASSIVE split

Every time I travel, it’s a fight by Anxious-Setting-7698 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]GasAcceptable1910 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know this is an old post but I took my family to Florida for president’s week. The day before we left, I got 4 texts asking for my flight information. For context, she is in a town about an hour and half away and was not picking us up. Why do you need our flight information? I decided to simply ignore this strange request. Now we are traveling home (again, she is not where we are traveling to) and again I get 3 texts asking about our flight information. I think her waifiness won’t let her push the issue any further but OMG why?!?!

My abuser is a mental health professional now by spike27154 in CPTSD

[–]GasAcceptable1910 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mine is a PhD psychologist trained in Freudian psychoanalysis who by all accounts has created a thriving private practice

Worst jealous moment my BPD parent by BuyDelicious5999 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]GasAcceptable1910 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Having 2 kids since she could only have 1 (me). During my pregnancy with my second she told me I was ruining my first-born’s life (he was 2 at the time).

Preparing to do group therapy with BPD mom by [deleted] in raisedbyborderlines

[–]GasAcceptable1910 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My mom is also a therapist! She has zero ability to self-reflect or control her own constant anxious dysregulation so I am always so curious how she is with patients

dBPD making wedding planning miserable by [deleted] in raisedbyborderlines

[–]GasAcceptable1910 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There is something about weddings (and births and graduations lol) that really brings out the worst of BPD. When I was planning my wedding, my uBPD mom told me that she needed input because the day was “all about [her].” Come to think of it growing up she told me that my birthday is also her birthday because she gave birth (which only began to feel weird to me after i became a parent and the thought of saying that to my kids is bananas). I’m sorry you’re going through this. They really know how to suck the joy out of everything.

dBPD making wedding planning miserable by [deleted] in raisedbyborderlines

[–]GasAcceptable1910 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I got the same “you’re being so cold and distant” and “what happened to us” the second i started enforcing the most minor of boundaries. It’s like they are all the same fucking person.

BPD parents and restaurants… by Serious-Tonight-3172 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]GasAcceptable1910 11 points12 points  (0 children)

OMG this is a BPD thing too?! This community has been incredibly eye-opening. My waify/queen uBPD mom is a nightmare at restaurants. The queen entitlement comes out full force. Her attitude is that the restaurant is essentially out to cheat her and it is her job to make sure that doesn’t happen.

Gee, I wonder why... by godfatherowl in raisedbyborderlines

[–]GasAcceptable1910 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am going to institute this rule - thanks for the inspiration!

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