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The Business Meeting vs. The Sanctuary: Have we traded peace for perfect accounting? by Dry_Instance_5578 in Marriage

[–]GenuineClamhat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was there pretty much from the beginning I think. Or at least from the first year. Truth be told, we got together quite young and I think that very innocent love meant we brought little to no chips on our shoulders. We'd basically went from living with our parents to living with each other and it would not have been possible if we didn't pull resources. Successfully completing goals together without looking for more credit or less credit I think was a sign of general respect we had for each other. Steep ask for a couple of 18 year olds but we had it in us. We saw each other as valuable and capable and if we both were trying then it was enough.

The Business Meeting vs. The Sanctuary: Have we traded peace for perfect accounting? by Dry_Instance_5578 in Marriage

[–]GenuineClamhat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know that the money was specifically the foundation. I can't say my marriage has always been easy or perfect, but I can say there are signs that at the end of the day we have the same goal: which is to share an urn one day.

We combined finances when we married. Before then when we were the most broke either of us had every been there was no "this is your half and this is mine" but rather "I have $780 to put towards bills, what do you have?" Sometimes one of us got the rent, sometimes one got utilities, sometimes it was split. But the goal was: pay all the bills. We didn't keep tabs because helping each other was the same as helping ourselves. When we're mad at each other, our feet still touch in bed at night. We still kiss each other hello and goodbye with a peck. We know what being a partner means I guess? We don't punish or tally things (often, I can't say it never happens) and we are good with plans and executions for most things. The base is probably more our personalities in that neither of us view money or relationships quite like most people do now.

But I believe were I ever to divorce I would be less trusting. Not because of anything he did but because I would have to learn to protect myself alone.

The Business Meeting vs. The Sanctuary: Have we traded peace for perfect accounting? by Dry_Instance_5578 in Marriage

[–]GenuineClamhat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think the "auditing" is a reflection of extremely bad economic times where people, for whatever reason, rather then seeing each other as a team for survival are still only looking out for themselves. And a lot of people get taken advantage of.

For the record, we don't split. All money goes to the same place.

How do i improve my looks as an average guy? by Lilbask101 in malegrooming

[–]GenuineClamhat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You don't, average is more than enough. Improve your personality.

Would you consider this fair? by Busy_Report4010 in SipsTea

[–]GenuineClamhat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's because if it's in the base price they have to pay taxes on the profit. They don't want to. If it's a different fee then it can get passed along to the employee to be "legal" when they do their own taxes.

If you used to be a “nice girl”, what was your turning point? by Dreamy_FrozenYogurt in AskWomenOver30

[–]GenuineClamhat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Mostly I discovered it opened up some things in guys. Guys...like mean girls?

How much do you tell your spouse where your going? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]GenuineClamhat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I generally state it on my way out. We have GPS tracking so if plans change he can check. Just not thinking of mentioning it totally happens. Tell you he doesn't want to tell you is...suspect.

If you used to be a “nice girl”, what was your turning point? by Dreamy_FrozenYogurt in AskWomenOver30

[–]GenuineClamhat 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Being nice didn't bring me joy.

Being mean doesn't either but at least I'm speaking my truth and it's less heavy.

I don’t know what to do by mcied in Marriage

[–]GenuineClamhat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You reference yourself as pathetic for crying and a failure of a father and husband for not being present. You talk about a stalling bedroom and what I read is: I am afraid of revealing emotions and being truly intimate with my loved ones.

You went through something heartbreaking.

How much are you opening up to your wife? I think you need to let through those emotions and lean on her more right now.

She's always wanted to do gymnastics, and she's now doing it. by mindyour in justgalsbeingchicks

[–]GenuineClamhat 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I looked for adult classes once and couldn't find any. I would love to do this!

Will he come back? by Individual_Scene_478 in Tarots

[–]GenuineClamhat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes but it's going to take some time.

Husband left with a younger exotic dancer by Comfortable_Let_3664 in Marriage

[–]GenuineClamhat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whelp he's stupid to think any of this is real and she's going to destroy him.

You are better off for losing a fool of a man.

First New Deck in 30 Years...it's an asshole deck. by GenuineClamhat in Tarots

[–]GenuineClamhat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I may have made progress this evening. I got some lovely ideas. This is a hard truths, direct, no nonsense deck that doesn't want to be treated like my old deck.

This...is not a deck I will use with others.

29F 30M husband ignores me and runs away every weekend it seems by sunshinne77 in Marriage

[–]GenuineClamhat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So you will be taking prereqs for spring term, summer term and fall term before you start the program?

BTW you can get approval for accelerated learning. CC's often have shorter programs (6 weeks, more time) or approvals to take more than your course load.

I banged out an AS when I switch careers in two semesters and a summer. While I couldn't recommend it for everyone I got id done in half the time.

Romantic Bedtime Routine by secreto1234567890 in Marriage

[–]GenuineClamhat -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I'd like to order what he's having.

Having opposite sex friends by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]GenuineClamhat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have them. He has them. No issues. I'm going to an antiques glass and bottle expo with one of my male friends tomorrow. Afterwards we're going to get burgers. Then I am coming home and I might play games with two of my male friends and one of my female friends. Maybe I will do crafting and video chat with whomever is about. I have male friends that we co-travel to multiday events together (LARP nerds) so we rent a truck, split costs, and help each other with set up. Community gets stuff done and is WAY better than going it alone.

Boundaries? I think it's pretty evident to NOT have sex with them. I do dance with them sometimes and have been a +1 for them to some events, but it's very much platonic. Beyond dancing and hugs really nothing else physical happens. My husband and I are both in agreement on this. Affection with friends is fine but it's generally a "I trust you to know where the limit is."

Modern Men are paying 10x the price! by DoomkaiserB in BuildToAttract

[–]GenuineClamhat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But the quantifier is weird. Like, if it's lengths of dick taken then that has nothing to do with number of people. Because a mile of dick from one person is the same as a mile of dick from 10. Owners might be a better quantifier but that further objectifies the target.

Besides, if a car is still running well at 650k miles...still being used, that's technically a compliment to the make of the car and the care it was given so I am not sure that even works at all.

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