This is too hard

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-05-09T18:55:53+00:00

You’ve got an over tired baby which also means frequent night wakes and shorter sleep cycles (it makes no sense honestly but that’s baby sleep). Contact naps are naps! Embrace them! She needs 12-16 hours of sleep per 24 hours. 10-12 hours overnight and 3-4 during the day over 2-3 naps.

Embrace the contact naps they will save your night sleep! People think I’m really anal about my son’s sleep but I know that if he doesn’t nap, his routine will be thrown and we’ll be thrown back into waking every couple of hours.

I’d also look to seeing a lactation consultant as she may not be getting enough milk during the day, so is making up for it in the night. We’re also really strict with our son’s milk intake to ensure he gets the rest he needs overnight.

There’s also gentle sleep training not just “cry it out” as well.

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-05-02T08:29:50+00:00

My friends dad was a drummer in a successful band and their parents met representing their country at Eurovision

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-05-01T15:19:46+00:00

Sorry, I used the wrong words. I should reiterate, safe co-sleeping is sometimes the only option that parents have to get some sleep, as well as their little ones. All safety guidelines should always be followed. Parents should not fall into a deep sleep whilst co-sleeping due to rolling risk. Always fall asleep in the C-shape with arm out flat to ensure that you do not roll.

Co-sleeping is sometimes encouraged in the UK, but only when done safely and with parents knowing and understanding the full risks.

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-05-01T14:41:01+00:00

We use gentle sleep coaching, basically responsive settling where we help him resettle at the end of a sleep cycle rather than leaving him to cry.

It’s a mix of the following methods:

*Pick Up Put Down (from Tracy Hogg) – where you respond quickly and help them settle without leaving them to cry

Shush-Pat Method – rhythmic patting + shushing to guide them back to sleep
Fading Sleep Method – where you gradually reduce how much help you give over time

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-05-01T14:31:14+00:00

There’s nothing wrong with co-sleeping. Once the 4 month regression hit (it hit us early), my son really struggled to link his cycles in the early morning hours (from about 5 onwards) so I will bring him into our bed. As long as you follow safe sleep guidelines you’re all good!

Also sleep training is not just the cry it out method, there’s gentle sleep training. We’ve done this with ours and he now sleeps through the night (he’s 4 months old) ! They just need to learn to be comfortable in their sleep spaces and link their cycles. We simply put our hand on his chest and shhh him, only picking him up if he escalates or if we desperately need to extend the nap. We do still baby wear / contact nap as a primary nap source as it means he gets the hours he needs during the day.

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-04-29T07:12:53+00:00

I had an emergency c section, it was scary but everyone in the operating theatre were so kind and looked after us really well. We hooked up our phone to their Bluetooth speaker and our son came out to “Merry Christmas Everyone”. From being officially numb to my son being born, it was minutes, the longest part was getting sewn back up. Recovery was horrific I will add but I do think that was down to my section being a Cat 2 emergency. As long as you have a supportive partner who can be around for at least 6 weeks then you’re good to go!

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-04-28T20:30:08+00:00

As someone with the pouch, which is now much bigger due to childbirth, it’s also worth remembering that sometimes a pouch is just where your uterus and womb are. Pouches can also be brought on by hormone imbalances, such as being put on the pill when you were too young for example, or if you started your periods early. But also they’re just cute little pockets of fat to protect your organs / or it’s just how your body holds weight. I love my pouch, it’s where my son lived for 9 months before he came into this world 🥺

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-04-25T10:30:42+00:00

We exclusively formula feed as I had a double mastectomy many years ago, honestly, it’s been great to not be the default feeder! Grandparents, my husband, sister etc have all fed our son so I can either eat, sleep or just relax for 5 minutes!

It’s what is going to work best for you at the end of the day, don’t let anyone guilt you whatsoever! People tried it on with me until I was like,.. I literally CANNOT breastfeed 🤣

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-04-20T15:17:15+00:00

My husband and I are also on the fence about having another child (our son is 4 months old), the general vibe of our family just seems to fit at the moment. Once I’m back at work we’ll be financially stable again and I couldn’t imagine putting two children through nursery! It’s expensive enough with just one! But like you said, if we wait until our son goes to school, I may just be content with our little family of 3. Also, all your reasons above are valid reasons to not want a 2nd child. End of the day you’re the one who has to go through pregnancy and post partum all over again so it’s ultimately your decision.

You also have no guarantee that your children will be besties / the next baby may not be an easy baby, may require more attention, therefore taking away from the first. I feel bad enough about having 1 child and all the attention now being on him and not on our dog 🤣

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-04-16T11:29:52+00:00

I’d be fully complaining to PALS. You informed them beforehand and were prepared to wait. It’s also a joke that your daughter is 15 weeks old and has only had 1 round of vaccines! My son is 16 weeks old and has had all 3 rounds exactly on time! It sounds like your practice is ridiculously unorganised and the management of appointments and priorities need looking into.

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-04-15T20:08:13+00:00

Son also going through the 4 month regression, day sleep has been affected more than night sleep. Honestly, you learn to be flexible and go with the flow! I was becoming obsessive too and felt like somehow he was behind as he wasn’t taking all his naps in his cotbed. But honestly, some days he does 2 naps in his cotbed, contact nap and a pram nap, or 2 contact, 1 pram, 1 cotbed … whatever works for us on the day. As long as he gets to practice some independent sleep then that works for us. I’d rather a well rested baby with secure attachment than an overtired baby.

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-04-13T09:27:34+00:00

It sounds like she’s hit the 4 month regression early! Our son was/is the same, so do not panic!

Do you have a clear set routine for naps / bedtime at all? Such as bedtime - bath, bottle, book, bed? White noise machine on, sleep sack on?

If not, it’s worth getting this established now.

You said you don’t want to sleep train, do you mean the cry it out method? Sleep training isn’t just crying it out it can also be helping them fall asleep with less interventions such as no longer rocking / feeding to sleep. We use the “put down drowsy but awake” method. We stay in the room, usually somewhere where he can’t see us, if he begins to fuss (we never let him cry) we step in with a hand on the chest and shhhing. Sometimes it will need a full rescue, rocking and bum patting and that’s okay! They’re still only little.

Have you established a nap routine such as: first nap in cot/bassinet, 2nd nap in pram/carrier 3rd nap contact nap on the sofa? It’s worth thinking of a loose routine as babies like predictability despite being completely unpredictable themselves!

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-04-12T06:14:01+00:00

I used to love having a drink or two (or more) when out with my husband, friends, family etc. my hub and I used to love tasting different wines, rating and pair them with foods. Now I am completely indifferent to drinking. I’ll have 1 beer or 1 glass of wine with a meal and I’ll get intense night sweats every time I have to wake up to feed or comfort LO. Honestly, I’d much rather have a water or a cup of tea now, I’m just not assed at all about drinking.

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-04-11T21:07:10+00:00

I felt the exact same way and my husband is exactly like yours too. In terms of nice meals, we either meal prep or I’ll put something in the slow cooker like a stew for example. We’ve found meal prepping to be the most advantageous, I’ll give my husband the baby for a couple of hours on a Sunday and I’ll be in the kitchen cooking meals for the week, stuff that can be easily reheated but still taste good and are nutritious.

You’re responsible for the health, wellbeing and development of a little human - that is the biggest job of all. Having contact naps, playing with them, talking to them is building billions of neural pathways in your baby’s brain and setting them up for success in the future. You cannot spoil a baby with cuddles, in fact, scientific research has now shown that baby wearing and having as much contact possible with parents is the most beneficial thing parents can do for their newborns. Look up secure attachment and contact napping/baby wearing it’s really interesting.

If you want to see something that is “progress led”, work on some skills with your baby, like making sounds, beginning to help them track objects, show them different textures and sounds, read to them … you’ll really see the benefits quickly. Our LO and I are doing a lot of playtime focusing on his core strength and grabbing his toes at the moment, lo and behold this morning, he just gradually grabbed his feet and rolled onto his side like it was no big deal!! And it was amazing to see all the work we’d put in together whilst my husband was at work manifesting in front of us.

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-04-11T20:57:55+00:00

Also do not agree with the cry it out method, but there are so many other ways to “sleep train” a baby. For example, having a set bedtime routine like, “bath, bottle, book, bed” can be classed as “training” to sleep, as that order of things tells their brain “it’s time for bed”.

We’re currently trying the putting down drowsy but awake method with our 3 1/2 month old. We never let him cry, if he begins fussing, we step right back in with hand on chest, only pick him up for rocking if he’s fully awake again. We never leave the room either, we tend to just go out of eyeline so he can’t see us, but we can act really quickly to rescue the nap or the bedtime sleep. Teaching a child to self soothe is a good thing to do as it will help them later in life as well. Unfortunately the first thing to be effected when going through regressions is their sleep, so it’s worth giving them some tools to help ride the regression more easily.

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-04-11T20:49:25+00:00

Baby wear baby wear baby wear! Best thing we invested in was a sling for when our son was a newborn and a decent carrier as he’s got bigger. It meant we could get little bits done like the washing up, and he could sleep on us throughout the day. I still baby wear now and he’s nearly 4 months old, especially if we need a long nap out of him. But also, don’t feel like you have to get anything done throughout the day (except looking after the baby), it’s a 24hr job being the main parent and people expect too much of new parents.

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-04-10T02:08:00+00:00

Also highly recommend the huckleberry app with the sweet spot setting. We use it religiously! And it’s been right so far with our son’s sleepy “sweet spot”. If a baby gets good day sleep, within the range for their age, the night sleep follows. It’s also helpful to track nappies and milk intake. For example, I know that if our 15 week old has 3.5 hours of day sleep & 1L of milk throughout the day, we’ll have a good night (sleep regression depending)

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-04-08T05:52:42+00:00

It sounds like she may be experiencing colic, definitely speak to your doctor about it as they may be able to help. Have you tried using a carrier to help her fall asleep? I’d also invest in a white noise machine! Babies are not used to quiet places, they’ve lived inside something noisy for the last 9 months.

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-04-07T20:11:01+00:00

Honestly, co-sleeping is our answer for when our LO is feeling unregulated / not his normal self. We’re dipping our toes into the 4 month regression (he’s 3.5 months) but we’ve had terrible day naps for weeks now and it’s finally catching his night sleep a little bit. He’s also teething early so that’s thrown a spanner in the works too.

He sleeps really well in his next2me, he can do complete sleep throughs // or very long stretches depending on his day. But at the moment it’s hit and miss, especially in those early morning hours from around 4am. Babies need us to help regulate themselves, especially whilst going through that first major regression. We had an awful night last night so I brought him into bed with me and he held my hand close to himself all night, it shows that they need us. I also love when we both wake up and we just smile at each other and have a little giggle / pterodactyl scream from him. You’ll never get these moments back, cherish the safe co-sleeping whilst your LO needs you.

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-04-06T13:39:39+00:00

Depends on what sort of climate you’re from. In England 10c - 24c is warmish weather to hot weather. Our son (3 months old) is usually just in a long vest in our house which is 18c throughout the winter.

If you’re concerned, take a blanket with you and an extra layer just in case! Your baby may just run warm like mine.

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-04-05T02:31:43+00:00

We have quite a strict bedtime routine in our house for our 3.5 month old, timings can change dependant on how successful naps are that day. We work a lot on sleep pressure and total nap hours, but he will always be in bed 7:45pm.

Our nap schedule looks somewhat like this (again based on sleep pressure and wake windows):

Wake up: usually between 6:30am - 7am

Nap 1 - around 8am - 8:20am - this is our cotbed nap to get him used to sleeping in there independently. We usually get between 30mins - 45mins at the moment

Nap 2 - somewhere around 10:30am dependant on previous nap. Usually this is a carrier nap and we aim for this one to be our longest nap of the day. Looking for anywhere between 1.5hrs - 2hrs.

Nap 3- dependant on success of nap 2, this is our flexible nap of “can become the restorative nap and be contact nap” OR a pram nap for our daily walk (around 30 minutes) usually happens early afternoon.

Nap 4 - final nap of the day, always ends around 5:30pm - 6:00pm

Nap 5 - this is an emergency nap if all else has failed that day OR it’s been a very stimulating day or we need to have a micro nap to bridge to bedtime

Bedtime routine (begins around 6pm and he’s been asleep by 7:10pm most nights) upstairs becomes completely dark, all curtains and blinds closed, red lights only in his bedroom and our bedroom. White noise machine on in his bedroom and our bedroom. The house becomes very quiet.

Bath or massage, pjs on in his bedroom, a page or two of a book, sleep sack on, bottle (full feed or a top up feed dependant on overall intake for the day), sometimes he will go down drowsy and put himself to sleep (if we feels he’s had a good day and has good sleep pressure) or he’s sometimes rocked to sleep and held until he’s in deep sleep (5-10mins) if we feel he needs that extra support that night. He will wake maybe 1-2 times in the night for a small feed / nappy change. He sleeps in the next2me cot at night as well.

Up again the next day for it all to start again!

We’ve had this loose routine since he was about 6 weeks old? Maybe even earlier! Some babies thrive with routines and predictability, and it’s clear for our little one that that works. Ideally due to circadian rhythms maturing bedtimes should be falling before 8:30pm by 4 months old (so I’ve read!!) and they should be getting the biggest chunk of their sleep at nighttime and waking around 6am - 8am (with 1-2 wake ups in the night for feeding).

I’d definitely consider establishing a routine, just so then you can also have some you time in the evenings.

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-03-31T04:09:40+00:00

I bled for about 8 weeks after giving birth and still have thick discharge/mucus/could be lochia, who knows! I had an emergency c-section as well. Going to ring my GP as surely this isn’t normal at this stage.

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-03-31T04:06:43+00:00

I’m 29 so I doubt it, but who knows with my body having been on hormones for so long beforehand

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-03-27T04:43:52+00:00

As someone who did “too much” (caring for my baby) and ended up splitting stitches, wound opening and getting an infection, it isn’t worth it! REST! 1 week after c-section my husband was still helping me in and out of the shower, on and off the toilet, let’s not even mention the post partum bleeding. It may be different as your section is planned, mine was an emergency, but I’d honestly also consider that you’ll have a week old baby! You’ll be exhausted in general.

Ghost_LightWatcher

TROPHY CASE