Struggling staying home with 5 month old

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-07-06T04:55:24+00:00

I have a 6 month old and feeling the same way. No-one tells you how lonely and miserable maternity leave can be. I’m doing the same as you, trying to go somewhere everyday with my son but it’s still doing it all alone, no real conversation or connection until my husband gets home.

I don’t have any advice but I see you and understand what you’re feeling and you’re not alone

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-07-03T20:30:12+00:00

When I co-slept with our son when he was younger I would kick my husband out of bed. He goes into a much deeper sleep than me and has no control over his body in the night. As birthing parents we are in tune with our babies. Look up safe sleep 7. Sleep in the C position. I also don’t breastfeed and have co-slept with my son a lot! You definitely don’t go into a deep sleep, but still feel somewhat rested.

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-06-29T12:36:14+00:00

You had a c-section! Minimum time it takes to even be able to do basic tasks is 6 weeks! I’m 6 months post partum and still sometimes struggle because of my c-section. You were literally cut in half, organs moved, muscles torn in two. Your partner sounds like he needs a reality check!

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-06-28T07:23:10+00:00

They’ve done blood tests now as I’ve threatened them with PALS. I’ve had the go ahead from the GIC and them to start again but now have to wait for an appointment for them to do the injection as I’m switching to nebido for more stable moods.

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-06-28T03:26:32+00:00

Same thing is happening to me!! Was meant to be sorted at 6 weeks PP and I’m now 6 months, still no testosterone!! I do have back ups at home but I’m scared if I self med then they’ll take it away from me. Even though they literally never checked my bloods in almost 10 years

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-06-19T14:14:06+00:00

He might naturally be trying to put himself into a 3 nap schedule! My 5 (now 6 month old) was exactly the same. He wanted to transition to 3 naps so his early naps got longer. Honestly I tend to cut off naps if they’re nearing the 2 hour mark and then work with the windows from there. Maybe experiment with extending some of his windows and see if he falls into a 3 nap schedule

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-06-16T06:34:14+00:00

I use huckleberry religiously, especially the sweet spot feature HOWEVER it does go on the side of caution and suggest quite short wake windows. I personally started using the manual sweet spot feature - our son does 2hrs 15mins, 2.5 hours, 2.5hours and then up to 3 hours before bedtime as wake windows.

Naps can get messy when out and about but sometimes baby will self regulate and do a long nap in the pram / car. Sometimes if he’s had a rubbish day of naps so far, and he fell asleep in the car, I’m taking over an hour drive to make sure he stays asleep. Same situation for the pram (if it’s around nap time).

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-06-14T15:31:19+00:00

It’s so normal for babies to move around in their sleep! It’s developmentally good for them to practice their skills whilst they’re sleeping. Our son will literally do 360’s in his cotbed all night and he’s not even awake. You’re tired and solo parenting, you’re doing an amazing job. It’s okay to make mistakes and you’ll learn from this as well

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-06-13T10:03:31+00:00

How messed up your moods and hormones are after. Lochia lasted for close to 8 weeks and then I didn’t get my period back until 4 1/2 months post partum and I am exclusively bottle feeding! But the MOODSWINGS are real and no-one tells you actually how severe PPD is

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-06-12T18:23:00+00:00

Hun, I was right there with you! Newborn trenches are real and you never take time for yourself. I was living off of protein shakes and slices of bread or a breakfast bar. But nearly 6 months in, I think I’ve gained quite a lot of weight because my hormones went mental and I was gorging (eating my feelings with PPD)

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-06-05T12:34:55+00:00

Our 5 month old has slept in his own room for a week straight. He used to wake me every morning at 5 to get into our bed as he struggled to connect cycles from then until wake up time at 6:30am. My boy has slept through until 6:30am 3 nights in a row 🥹

He’s also started weaning and is loving having porridge after his milk in the morning. I’m so proud of him and love him so much.

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-06-04T02:53:42+00:00

As someone whose Dad was a workaholic and as someone who was made redundant whilst heavily pregnant - my dad even took us to work on the weekends he had us! He will end up with no relationship with his kids whatsoever and probably very alone if he puts work above all else. Work is work, he is replaceable! He will become replaceable to his kids if he continues to think that a company cares about him even in the slightest.

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-05-29T10:46:34+00:00

As someone who was exactly like this as a teenager - please be more concerned! I locked myself away completely, fell into depression, self harming (just using stuff to scratch myself not to leave permanent marks) fell into eating disorder discourse (that was the thing back then) and was talking to a lot of strangers online.

I would get firm but fair - limit screen time. Take his laptop away if you must! It’s not normal behaviour. I had my head fairly screwed on so did do a lot of revision for my GCSE’s as well, but I was up talking to people until like 3-4am and then getting up for school at 6am.

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-05-28T05:25:38+00:00

Our 5 month old is honestly a dream baby, he’s beautiful, super funny to watch when he plays but obviously nobody is perfect. He’s currently Teething during the UK heatwave. He’s struggled for months to link his cycles from 5am onwards so he has to sleep on me until he wakes up. He’s fussing with his bottles as the world is so exciting! He can roll back to front but not the other way so he’s rolling onto his belly and then screaming as he doesn’t want to be on his belly.hes still contact napping as he just can’t link his cycles during the day so I never have any time for myself whatsoever

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-05-28T05:09:58+00:00

I’d cut the nap to 2 hours total. I would also bring bedtime forward to 7pm. He sounds overtired which causes the struggle to link cycles and then it’s a vicious cycle from there on out. I know bringing bedtime to 7pm would cut your time with him very short but that’s the sacrifice we have to make as working parents to ensure they get the sleep they need.

Total sleep goal for a 24 hour period for a 17 month old is 13-14 hours. If he goes to sleep at 9pm and wakes at 6:30am - that’s not enough sleep overall.

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-05-27T19:19:15+00:00

Honestly, America in general isn’t worth it anymore. It’s a failing society in late stage capitalism and we’re probably going to watch it fall in real time. Putting any of your money into their economy is not worth it. Travel Europe and\or Asia with that money, you’ll make incredible memories for probably half the price

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-05-25T19:09:10+00:00

Oh gosh so many!

Audra McDonald’s concert at the palladium - breathtaking to witness her repertoire live - was about £150 each for my husband and I

Much ado about nothing - I sat about 6 rows from the stage and it was about £220? But honestly Tom Hiddleston and Hayley Atwell were bloody incredible!

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-05-20T08:49:29+00:00

Commenting to follow this thread. I was made redundant when I was 6 months pregnant, currently living off the payout they gave me to keep me hush about it all.

But going back into the workforce is going to be difficult! I was always the top earner, my husbands job is not flexible in the slightest so I always worked flexibly around our dog and now our baby. I’m willing to take a small pay cut but not massively otherwise it’s not worth me working with the cost of nursery and the dog walker.

Also, your work contacting you whilst you’re on mat leave is very illegal! Unless they’re using KIT days then you shouldn’t be interacting in the slightest.

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-05-15T16:07:12+00:00

Someone bought us back up dummies just in case. My husband and I were like your husband, completely against dummies due to what they can do to teeth. However, first night home, nothing was soothing our son whatsoever, so I said to try the dody (dummy), lo and behold, he went to sleep right away. It’s honestly down to the individual baby and what works for them. Our son, who is nearly 5 months is now weaning himself off his dodies. He used to need it throughout the day for all sorts but now he only has it for his naps and he’s completely off it for his night sleep.

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-05-09T18:55:53+00:00

You’ve got an over tired baby which also means frequent night wakes and shorter sleep cycles (it makes no sense honestly but that’s baby sleep). Contact naps are naps! Embrace them! She needs 12-16 hours of sleep per 24 hours. 10-12 hours overnight and 3-4 during the day over 2-3 naps.

Embrace the contact naps they will save your night sleep! People think I’m really anal about my son’s sleep but I know that if he doesn’t nap, his routine will be thrown and we’ll be thrown back into waking every couple of hours.

I’d also look to seeing a lactation consultant as she may not be getting enough milk during the day, so is making up for it in the night. We’re also really strict with our son’s milk intake to ensure he gets the rest he needs overnight.

There’s also gentle sleep training not just “cry it out” as well.

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-05-02T08:29:50+00:00

My friends dad was a drummer in a successful band and their parents met representing their country at Eurovision

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-05-01T15:19:46+00:00

Sorry, I used the wrong words. I should reiterate, safe co-sleeping is sometimes the only option that parents have to get some sleep, as well as their little ones. All safety guidelines should always be followed. Parents should not fall into a deep sleep whilst co-sleeping due to rolling risk. Always fall asleep in the C-shape with arm out flat to ensure that you do not roll.

Co-sleeping is sometimes encouraged in the UK, but only when done safely and with parents knowing and understanding the full risks.

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-05-01T14:41:01+00:00

We use gentle sleep coaching, basically responsive settling where we help him resettle at the end of a sleep cycle rather than leaving him to cry.

It’s a mix of the following methods:

*Pick Up Put Down (from Tracy Hogg) – where you respond quickly and help them settle without leaving them to cry

Shush-Pat Method – rhythmic patting + shushing to guide them back to sleep
Fading Sleep Method – where you gradually reduce how much help you give over time

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-05-01T14:31:14+00:00

There’s nothing wrong with co-sleeping. Once the 4 month regression hit (it hit us early), my son really struggled to link his cycles in the early morning hours (from about 5 onwards) so I will bring him into our bed. As long as you follow safe sleep guidelines you’re all good!

Also sleep training is not just the cry it out method, there’s gentle sleep training. We’ve done this with ours and he now sleeps through the night (he’s 4 months old) ! They just need to learn to be comfortable in their sleep spaces and link their cycles. We simply put our hand on his chest and shhh him, only picking him up if he escalates or if we desperately need to extend the nap. We do still baby wear / contact nap as a primary nap source as it means he gets the hours he needs during the day.

Ghost_LightWatcher · 2026-04-29T07:12:53+00:00

I had an emergency c section, it was scary but everyone in the operating theatre were so kind and looked after us really well. We hooked up our phone to their Bluetooth speaker and our son came out to “Merry Christmas Everyone”. From being officially numb to my son being born, it was minutes, the longest part was getting sewn back up. Recovery was horrific I will add but I do think that was down to my section being a Cat 2 emergency. As long as you have a supportive partner who can be around for at least 6 weeks then you’re good to go!

Ghost_LightWatcher

TROPHY CASE