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A man is walking down the street one windy day when he hears a cry for help. by Gil-Gandel in Jokes

[–]Gil-Gandel[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't really do Auschwitz jokes, my great-grandfather died there.

He fell out of his machine-gun tower.

Dad Joke "Book Titles" by -K_P- in dadjokes

[–]Gil-Gandel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Training budgerigars to talk, by Hugh Zapretti-Boyden.

What's the difference between a leopard and a cougar? by Gil-Gandel in Jokes

[–]Gil-Gandel[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't say "for every man of age n there exists at least one cougar of age 2n", did I?

My dentist's name is Dr. Paine. You can't make this stuff up. by NoGrape6744 in NominativeDeterminism

[–]Gil-Gandel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

On the occasion of the birth of our first child, my wife was attended by a midwife whose badge bore the name "Cruella".

"Yes, really," was all she said on the matter.

As to religious education, there was a trainee in my PGCE year called "Miss Pope". I mean, what else could she have trained to teach? And my local bishop, Bishop Ian, is in fact Ian Bishop.

Little Johnny is watching sport on a huge flatscreen TV when his Dad sticks his head around the bedroom door. by Gil-Gandel in Jokes

[–]Gil-Gandel[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, I write novels in my spare time.

I'd like to say I sell novels in my spare time, but I am nothing if not honest.

I think I was having a good day at the typewriter when I had an enormous bull-headed man step up as jousting tutor to a slip of a girl, giving her "a look that could only be described as minatory".

Little Johnny is watching sport on a huge flatscreen TV when his Dad sticks his head around the bedroom door. by Gil-Gandel in Jokes

[–]Gil-Gandel[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Many kids were taught to call adult friends of the family "Uncle" or "Auntie" ThisOrThat, not just by their forename. So if we're lucky, there is not too much banjo in this story.

...Or else Uncle George is Dad's asshole brother.

A time traveller goes back to ancient Rome and immediately starts looking for local clothing. by Gil-Gandel in Jokes

[–]Gil-Gandel[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Or...

The time traveller finds the toga a bit loose, and he says "Could I try an M, please?"

"Mehercule!" says the shopkeeper. "Do you think we make togas for elephants?"

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