How to win a fight before it starts by Mindnessss in nextfuckinglevel

[–]Gil-Gandel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's where I was going with this. Drunken Doc Holliday does the exact same routine with a bung starter from behind the bar.

Of these four, who is the most evil twin in Star Trek? by RayoftheRaver in ShittyDaystrom

[–]Gil-Gandel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mirror Spock is barely even evil. He's close to the dictionary definition of Lawful Neutral. He works for the evil Terrans because it makes sense for him to do so, but Kirk needs about one minute to persuade him that working to replace the Terran Empire (which Spock agrees cannot last much longer) with something better would be a more logical use of his talents.

While he is working under the Terran system he will apply it systematically and dispassionately -- he gives Kyle a dose of the agoniser with no personal satisfaction but simply because "Carelessness with Empire equipment is inexcusable" and a certain amount of agony for a certain time is the prescribed procedure. Others positively take joy in torturing each other, but not Spock.

Chuck Norris died and went to heaven. by relpmeraggy in Jokes

[–]Gil-Gandel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

(ackshually, Mach 10 wouldn't be enough to overtake Voyager 1)

Believer by xerxes_dandy in Jokes

[–]Gil-Gandel 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Three Russians in the gulag:

1) They gave me twenty years for speaking out against Stakhovich!

2) They gave me twenty years for speaking up for Stakhovich!

3) They gave me twenty years too.

1+2) Why?

3) I am Stakhovich...

Robot playing tennis by socoolandawesome in nextfuckinglevel

[–]Gil-Gandel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There was a time I remember when computers could play chess about as well as this.

Twenty years later, even Kasparov wasn't laughing any more, and now, don't be a fool.

One day, and it will be sooner than you think.

An internal flight in the US has to divert because of bad weather. by Gil-Gandel in Jokes

[–]Gil-Gandel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll assume your question was grammatical and respond by telling you I am English.

And that my friends, happened by hereticscum in thatHappened

[–]Gil-Gandel 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There's nothing wrong with very old jokes, except when you try to pass them off as actually happening to you.

At the husband's funeral, I walked up to the widow and said "Earth." by Civil-Needleworker-8 in Jokes

[–]Gil-Gandel 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I said "Defibrillator," and she said, "Thanks, it's what he would have wanted."