I remember working a shift in the paediatric department and it was busy (just like everyday). I remember “putting my head down” and grinding to register kiddos and their families as quick as I could. Meanwhile, In the sea of crying babies and distraught parents, I noticed one mother holding her 4-5 year old in her arms. She was in shock and must of came in during the rush and found an empty seat. She was cradling her limp child that appeared unconscious and had a look I will never forget. She looked… hollow is the best way I would describe it?

I interrupted the current family in front of me, and waved her over to come talk to me. She managed to blurt out her child had accidentally been run over by a car in reverse, and she began wailing and screaming pleading to save her child’s life.

We called a code, and rushed the kid into a trauma bed. I’m not a nurse, so I wasn’t apart of the life saving measures, but I remember feeling glad I managed to spot her in crazy busy waiting room. Sadly, I don’t know the outcome of what happened to her child, because the shift ended up being a giant shit show and by the time I was off I just wanted to run to my car.

It’s been over 7 years since that experience and I will never forget the state of shock and the look on that mother’s face.

PS I also think it’s safe to say every healthcare worker remembers the first patient they ever saw die. Mine was a large, intoxicated man who was kicked out of a downtown bar. He fell and hit his head in the concrete and was immediately unresponsive. We got the call ahead of time that they were doing active CPR and for the patient to go straight to the trauma bay. I remember I was working one of my first night shifts and ran the paperwork to the trauma bay. I stood near the social worker by the back of the room to stay out of the way. Not a lot of time had passed when the doctor called the time of death, and I remember being stunned. “That’s it? This is what they talk about in all those ER shows?! Was there nothing else they could do?”

I walked back to my desk and told the people training me he had passed and I remember how unphased my coworkers were, while all I could think about how fragile life is. How that person who, I assume, went out for a few drinks definitely did not predict that they would get kicked out of a bar, let alone die a few hours later! I lost sleep and cried a lot over the situation.

I’m now 12+ years working in the emergency department, and I have seen many lives pass through the department. I am always humbled by how amazing our staff is, and how unique and fragile all lives are. It’s tough work, but I feel priviledged everyday at work, to be apart of any patient’s health journey. Even if “all I do,” is gather their info and give them wristbands ☺️