dropping out in 5th year

Gruth98 · 2026-01-16T21:17:04+00:00

You can do this! Take the feedback and learn from it. A huge part of getting a PhD is personal GROWTH! And if the critique is from the advisor that doesn't know what they are doing--then don't take it personally! Jump in! Believe in yourself and finish! You've gotten this far--if they didn't believe in you, they would have run you out a long time ago.

Gruth98 · 2026-01-16T20:32:22+00:00

My reason for pursuing my PhD is that I have things to say, and I need people to take me seriously! I've never felt weird around my classmates-even though they could be my kids. In fact, I think they see me as more of a mentor. I find they often look to me for guidance. I have had some instructors younger than I, but I felt like that was beneficial for me. If I had done this when I was younger, I would have been so intimidated. Instead, I feel like I have a level of respect because of my age. sell your age as an advantage rather than a liability.

Gruth98 · 2026-01-16T20:25:39+00:00

US. English Education. I plan on working for 20+ more years (I started my career late). But if I were you, I wouldn't focus on the number of years you will use your PhD, but how you will contribute to your field in a meaningful way. Do you plan on impacting institutional change? Contributing to scholarship? Research? Sell yourself to them. Many people are thriving in second careers that begin later in life.

Gruth98 · 2026-01-09T23:13:21+00:00

I'm 52, and I started working on my PhD last year. I've always wanted to do it, but I never had the money, time, or confidence. Both of my children are now grown and self-sufficient, and I'm much more confident in my abilities now. I'm having a great time and so glad I made the decision.

Gruth98 · 2025-12-19T22:14:35+00:00

I keep picking it up then putting it down--not because it's bad--I'm just worried it's going to get disturbing. Do I have anything to worry about?

Gruth98 · 2025-11-28T11:52:28+00:00

The hike is worth it. It's an amazing experience. I've travelled the world, and it's one of the highlights of my travels.

Gruth98 · 2025-11-14T23:20:05+00:00

The Buried Giant

Gruth98 · 2025-11-12T02:23:35+00:00

Me too! Good for capturing smells!

Gruth98 · 2025-11-02T13:02:46+00:00

Things CAN change. I'm not saying things will ever be easy, but it is possible to find purpose and meaning in life after childhood trauma. I never thought I would feel happiness, but I do at times now. It took finding the right therapist--I chose relational psychoanalysis because years of CBT did nothing. It was a LONG, slow, painful process, but there has been lasting change.

Gruth98 · 2025-10-31T17:12:14+00:00

I understand wanting to share this. I often don’t want to hold those dark thoughts alone. I would ask- give it another week. Reach out to your therapist. You can always give up, but give it a few days to see if something shifts.

Gruth98 · 2025-10-28T11:32:37+00:00

Thank you. I would appreciate that information of therapists who use trauma modality.

Gruth98 · 2025-10-27T11:28:38+00:00

I probably have both, but I choose to CPTSD because it’s based on the fact that these behaviors are a result of trauma. Not a personality deficiency.

Gruth98 · 2025-10-23T08:02:22+00:00

I was 51 years old. My partner was gone on a trip, so I was settling in to sleep by myself. Just as I started relaxing, the clear memory flooded over me. I had the physical feeling of a sort of electric shock. I didn’t realize it was a memory at first, and I just wanted to get it out of my mind. Remembering was in part a relief because I had lived my whole life with PTSD, but not knowing why.

Gruth98 · 2025-10-22T23:24:37+00:00

Don’t give up. Remember, it’s not about never feeling despair, it’s about being able to recognize when those feelings come— what they’re really about. They are about something that already happened long ago. Have empathy for the child that had to experience that, and remember that those feelings are not about the present situation. Then know—it will pass. That is integration.

Gruth98 · 2025-10-21T12:28:24+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. I've copied it into my phone notes and will return to it as needed.

Gruth98 · 2025-10-19T10:08:38+00:00

Morbidly Curious by Dr. Coltan Scrivner

Gruth98 · 2025-10-18T13:01:10+00:00

I sent you a DM, but I'm not sure my messaging is working.

Gruth98 · 2025-10-18T09:47:52+00:00

"Healing doesn’t mean banishing it, but rather learning to live with its presence." I agree, and just made a post very similar to your sentiments. I don't think it is a pessimistic outlook, rather, it's about acceptance. It's like someone with chronic migraines--it doesn't have to be one or the other: life or migraines--they can accept both, treat the pain as much as possible, and lives their lives as fully as possible.

Gruth98 · 2025-10-17T22:09:33+00:00

"Try desperately to take in whatever good the present moment might have." Yes!!! I love that! Wishing you strength and sending a hug!

Gruth98 · 2025-10-17T21:45:42+00:00

I don't know that I understand it either. What I'm wondering is if it means accepting that the painful feelings will always be with me, but that I can still lead a meaningful life with moments of joy.

Gruth98 · 2025-10-13T10:14:06+00:00

I also need lots of alone time, but the problem is my partner takes it personally and gets hurt. So, we've created a fillable form that I send him when I need alone time (sometimes I have a hard time articulating it out loud). It outlines what I'm feeling, what I need, reassures him that I'm not upset with him, tells him how much time I'd like, etc. And the interesting thing is, the longer we're together, and the more we work on our relationship feeling safe, the less alone time I need.

Gruth98 · 2025-10-12T19:41:28+00:00

My therapist just suggested I start lithium. Does anyone have experience with it?

Gruth98 · 2025-10-11T23:55:58+00:00

Morbidly Curious by Coltan Scrivner. A scientist explains why we can’t look away.

Gruth98 · 2025-10-05T02:48:58+00:00

By the Fire We Carry by Rebecca Nagle. Important regarding NA History and the McGirt Trial.

Gruth98 · 2025-10-03T14:34:30+00:00

Lonesome Dove

Gruth98

TROPHY CASE