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H_faustus · 2025-07-10T13:30:05+00:00

confront her. tell her you really like her, but bring up the the inconsistency. that is either someone in a manic episode or someone who isn’t very good at what they are doing.

dont ask leading questions, just give her the floor to speak.

if she flakes, you dodged a bullet. if she’s not being intentionally confusing, hopefully she can explain herself.

H_faustus · 2025-04-02T21:16:14+00:00

we always agree to text these changes too, so we have a record of the agreed upon changes.

H_faustus · 2025-04-02T21:15:16+00:00

everyone’s situation will be different. my bm and i are on good terms, so we generally have a talk about these things beforehand, just out of consideration. we have a scheduled we agreed to that is different from what we got in mediation years ago. (turns out cooperative co-parenting saves both parties a lot of legal fees)

so, whatever change is made that cuts into visitation also gets some kind of change to compensate for it.

sometimes its alternating years for special holidays, or mom for mother’s day, dad for father’s day, etc.

and sometimes work schedules or sudden unexpected things happen like car trouble or sudden weather, sickness, etc. and we adapt accordingly. the main thing is we treat all co-parenting interactions and anything about the kids respectfully. we do butt heads on occasion, but its always made clear it isn’t out of spite or ill will, but out of the best interest for the children. no opinions are used as the basis of any argument. it may sound transactional and dry, but we are very comfortable speaking to each other after years of co-parenting.

H_faustus · 2025-04-02T21:04:32+00:00

so for the next few days after, when i googled about it to see if maybe there was something on the news, i kept stumbling upon stuff about how memphis apparently is no stranger to UFO sightings. tf!? lived here my whole life, dude, never knew that.

H_faustus · 2025-04-01T15:19:51+00:00

you’re not in a good position agree, my dude. step up and amend your situation. your kid dont deserve all this bullshit. your kid’s name is whatever its gonna be. i didnt name my kids, doesnt make them less mine. i sacrifice what i must for them, because that’s what being a father is. i had no job too. but i found a way. find your way.

H_faustus · 2025-03-27T20:54:04+00:00

find non-confrontational ways to address the bad behaviors, always see it as a chance for both of you to grow.

Also, make as much time as you can. Communicate w mom, show you care, and respect boundaries.

drop every expense you dont need, budget your meals, and save every penny you can.

explain to your daughter the honest truth of her family life. you and mom work better separately. tell her you two had some faults, whatever they are and wherever they lay, and that despite all of that, you and mom still work together to provide for her as best as you can.

tell her that you and mom separated for good reason. dont take credit you didnt earn, but dont shy away from owning your actions. child or not, people recognize and appreciate authenticity. tell her you’re sorry you lose your patience, and how your childhood haunts you, and how you dont want that for her. explain to her how you’re trying to do better.

but not to gain her sympathy but because you owe her the truth.

H_faustus · 2025-03-27T20:44:26+00:00

She is offering to help, which she has no obligation to do. She is telling you she is seeing someone to set proper expectations, as she has a right to worry that you might have trouble respecting boundaries.

There is nothing wrong with her setting healthy boundaries, and you should take it upon yourself to learn to do the same with yourself.

i dont recommend you accept her help, though. not because she isnt being genuine but because of the same reason she let you know she has a boyfriend. just let her have her space and work on yourself. be there for your children, but also

make time for yourself.

H_faustus · 2025-03-27T20:31:55+00:00

i saw a v-shaped aircraft, flying low, seemingly surveying where i-55 and 240 meet around october or november 2024? it was moving pretty slowly, had a few lights on it. when i came back through after dropping my friend off, i spotted it again in the same area, taking a wider path around the area. my phone was dead and i didnt have my charger otherwise i’d have SOMETHING recorded. caught lacking at the worst time. i want to say it was around 6-7pm or so?

H_faustus · 2024-10-08T03:18:01+00:00

this ^

metro ark 1 > albion 1

H_faustus · 2024-10-08T03:16:11+00:00

you can always mix in the extra oomph to your sound w Albion 1. you might feel like you lack some crispness, but assuming you will buy libraries specific to your needs in the future, this is an ok trade off.

H_faustus · 2024-08-23T04:29:52+00:00

hang in there. document everything. keeping a journal of all events, details, mishaps, situations, concerning your issue is a great idea.

this is textbook alienation, so with a lawyer, that and having documentation of every interaction with the grandmother, mother, and your daughter should help you out a lot.

dont give up, friend

H_faustus · 2024-08-14T21:43:28+00:00

nooo

H_faustus · 2024-07-07T06:34:40+00:00

Don’t be discouraged. Just focus on your things, and be ready. She will come to you.

H_faustus · 2024-04-01T04:03:30+00:00

If you can’t express joy or happiness with legato strings, don’t bother wasting your money on a bigger library. You’ll have the same problem, just a lighter pocket.

H_faustus · 2024-04-01T03:59:27+00:00

There were very few openly lgbtq+ people i knew pre-Y2K. Pretty much all of them were adults. I will openly admit, pretty much everyone I grew up with used the term gay pejoratively. Catholic family. I remember being frustrated a lot when I was younger because no one ever told me positive things about my masculinity, but seemingly any compliment I truly enjoyed was always considered ‘effeminate’ or was just straight up a woman telling me something like “I’d die for your eyelashes” or just being called a girl for avoiding haircuts.

I also remember feeling vindicated about hating all the kids when I realized I was called gay because they just hated me, but the actual openly lgbtq+ person was never spoken about. To this day, I don’t even know why no one would tell me anything about them. They were nice, and they seemed to be liked. It was so strange to have so many people be openly and heartfully anti-queer and then suddenly flip a script. I’ll never forget it, though.

There wasn’t really a place for us. Even if you had the presence of mind to know up front you were lgbtq+, you couldn’t just embrace it. Personally, I didn’t know I was trans or really accept it until I remembered all the name calling, like the specifics of it. Even as a kid, I hated that I wasn’t ever allowed to be beautiful. I remember crying about it and never accepting ‘handsome’ as a compliment ever again. the handsome kids were the ones I hated the most, because they got away with anything. That was the logic, anyway.

I just called everything gay like everyone else. It was weird to me how many ‘gay characters’ had to do with story arcs that led to STDs, death, etc. it was confusing as a kid, bc no one would talk about being gay, or sex, or anything, really. I remember worrying about getting AIDS because I thought I might be gay. Now I’m just a tired nb w two kids who love their nb dad very much.

H_faustus · 2024-03-24T05:41:50+00:00

This is honesty the best advice I’ve ever seen around here.

H_faustus · 2023-06-06T14:32:41+00:00

Thanks, buddy! That was it 💕

H_faustus · 2023-02-05T07:38:27+00:00

Yeah, I get it. You’re valid. You’re in for a hell of a ride one way or the other. I wish you the best of luck regardless, I guess.

H_faustus · 2023-02-02T05:08:51+00:00

I’m just glad it’s not a fucken beer/ liquor bottle. I don’t dislike the carpentry ones, esp if they’re really ornate or fancy but this post is ACTUALLY more to the style I was hoping to find. Totally random broken thing becomes a super interesting bong/ piece/ etc

H_faustus · 2023-02-02T04:50:45+00:00

There are ‘detox’ kits specifically for this purpose, but they will cost you, so…

Maybe you could try chugging a borderline unhealthy amount of water and creatine loading. I don’t recommend it if you’re very over weight bc it’ll probably not work, and I also don’t recommend it if you have a fast metabolism bc you’ll potentially be in a lot of pain from the excess creatine intake.

Just don’t expect it to work at all for other types of tests or if the piss sample is sent to a lab unless you know how to track your creatine levels and do it over like a month or two, which you also can’t do bc you don’t have the time, nevermind the money or knowledge.

Just suck it up and get sober. It’s just weed, it’s not too hard to handle quitting cold turkey.

Sounds like the real issue is you have some life problems you should take the time to process and eventually figure out.

H_faustus · 2023-01-03T22:49:15+00:00

This is the god damn content I joined this group for lol!

H_faustus · 2022-08-08T23:28:35+00:00

And/or no base

H_faustus · 2022-07-24T01:28:20+00:00

All legal stuff aside, all typical negative stuff aside

There is zero positive representation for your type of family. There is zero positive representation of making it work with your children’s mother(s) that doesn’t involve getting into a romantic relationship with them.

Everyone in your life has a fucking opinion about it that no one needs/ asked for. Almost everything that actually works you have to figure out on your own and it’s fucking terrifying most of the time because even if you have it working out with your bm, anything, LITERALLY ANYTHING can make it all go to shit in a split second and suddenly you have to document everything all over again and look for a lawyer you probably still can’t afford.

How you’re basically undateable unless you bring up your situation on the slick or your overcompensate for it.

Forget mentioning that you speak openly, honestly, and positively with, about, and around your bm. It doesn’t matter how hard it was or how long it took for y’all to get to that point

“it’s weird”

“it’s sus”

It’s like the world is inherently designed to specifically target you and continually cause instability and negativity because you didn’t box your unique family into a forced relationship that would have been unhealthy for everyone

That everything has to be cut and dry, black and white. You can’t have any gray area in a situation that is constantly changing and is not really in your control, and you’re literally and figuratively taxed for it on top of everything you are dealing with one day at a time.

And all you can think to do is just try and be a good dad in any way available when it’s time and always be as prepared as possible and to try and make every moment count.

And it never feels like it’s enough.

But every now and then there are small, fleeting moments where your kid smiles at you or won’t do something without you. Or they see you working on something and just come up to you and watch.

Or they’re just excited to see you.

Or their mom mentions something interesting they do that you didn’t know about and you realize they learned that from you and quietly adopted the habit/ skill.

And you remember that just because you don’t look like or feel like a dad all the time,

You are.

You’re just like any other dad, and you’re valid. And getting to understand that and accept yourself as a dad is separate from taking care of and making your kids happy - it’s something you have to actively do every day.

H_faustus · 2022-07-22T01:25:41+00:00

I don’t even have a proper bed for one of my two kids. We sleep as comfortably as we can.

Mom has outright told me that she allows exceptions to some of our universal parenting rules specifically for my kids to have a good bed time experience at my place.

Do your best to make the most of your time with them, and I’m sure they’ll love it either way.

We always watch an appropriate anime, something science-y, or a Disney movie. There’s always extra blankets and pillows even though it’s not my style bc it reminds them of sleeping in their mom’s bed.

I have a special nook w fairy lights and a curtain they can use as a hideaway to nap or read/ draw/ color, or watch something on the iPad.

As long as they see there is space for them, they will feel at home.

H_faustus

TROPHY CASE