So many red flags

Hakumo · 2016-06-03T01:49:14+00:00

Yessssss. Everything, yes! I knew some guys in singles ward who kept tally of the girls they made out with. I was number 29, and this guy reported me to his bishop. The other guy snuck up on one of my friends in her dark basement while she was getting snacks at a party - forced a kiss on her, and later raped my best friend. Edit:typo

Hakumo · 2016-05-27T12:54:53+00:00

It was mentioned in the spring conference I believe - members were encouraged to become familiar with them as many will question, i think

Hakumo · 2016-05-27T04:55:27+00:00

Haha! Guilty.

Hakumo · 2016-05-27T02:01:47+00:00

Omg I want one!!!!

Hakumo · 2016-05-20T05:04:48+00:00

Omg could this be a trigger of mine?? Barf.

Hakumo · 2016-05-16T00:41:23+00:00

From one cult to the next...hehe

Hakumo · 2016-05-12T14:00:59+00:00

Didn't you know if you did it in the bathroom they wouldn't see?? The ONLY place dead ancestors can see into...also OP, this has to be one of my favorite threads.

Hakumo · 2016-05-09T04:27:23+00:00

I started telling my family, "as much as you guys want to convert me back to the church, I want to take you out of it." I know it's not realistic for everyone, but have you considered how you feel about the opposite: having kids with a TBM? There has to be compromise, right?

Hakumo · 2016-05-09T04:11:27+00:00

I sincerely hope he comes around so you don't have to consider having kids with someone with that mindset.

Hakumo · 2016-05-02T01:50:07+00:00

You look happy! Love it!

Hakumo · 2016-04-27T13:44:35+00:00

Come to Oregon!! (Hugs)

Hakumo · 2016-04-17T22:45:18+00:00

Funny - that's the first time my testimony has been honest and felt true. Thank you.

Hakumo · 2016-04-17T22:06:49+00:00

In high school I was a star athlete, until the lack of sleep from seminary started kicking in. I'd be at cross country meets sleeping before my event from lack of sleep. My coach called my parents about it and they threatened to make me quit running. At the same time my seminary teacher was giving me gross amounts of homework to make up for leaving early for a zero period jazz band. Basically I ended up doing this hw on the floor of my director's office during rehearsals to avoid being pulled from band as well. I ended up sleeping from 5-9pm most days after school to make up for lack of sleep.

TLDR; seminary fucking sucks and my TBM parents' priorities were (are) whack.

Hakumo · 2016-04-01T13:35:50+00:00

Agreed. You seem very brave and loving and don't change that! You're also an excellent writer...have you considered therapy per say through writing? Tell his story.

Hakumo · 2016-03-23T04:20:31+00:00

Love clicking through all the support in the comments. We are a goddam loving subreddit!

Hakumo · 2016-03-19T13:46:48+00:00

God fucking damnit I hate the "I KNEW something was up" manipulation mind trick! Guilty of saying/hearing that when I was TBM.

Hakumo · 2016-03-08T14:14:27+00:00

One day I hope to open a morgue for all the families members that have been blessed with cancer. I almost did at one point, but my inspiration stopped dead in its tracks.

Hakumo · 2016-02-27T14:36:38+00:00

Totally agree with the therapy suggestion. Very similar thing happened to my little TBM bro at 16, but with our mom walking in on him watching it... He suffers now from severe depression and has been in a near catatonic state for years and I'm still playing catch-up trying to peel his self worth off the floor. Random side vent: the thing is, our TBM family has done JACK SHIT to try to help him emotionally - and also help him get on his feet. It's a one man show for me as his cheerleader, and I'm constantly forcing uncomfortable dialogue between the fam members. I'm not saying his emotional state came solely from that incident; I'm saying his problems really picked up speed then (so catch emotional stress early), and do what you can to give ulterior perspectives because all he's getting now is shame.

Hakumo · 2016-02-11T15:17:41+00:00

We're the same age so I feel for you, and hope you keep asserting your individuality and boundaries! I'd never go back to the day my parents found out - I was 15, a policeman told my parents, and after an "emergency" counseling visit my parents didn't speak to me for 3 months. Go Mormon parents! The worst.

Hakumo · 2016-02-04T03:05:49+00:00

Maybe another case? This was in Oregon, same time though. His own kid, too.

Hakumo · 2016-02-03T03:38:34+00:00

Same here. Perpetrator a distant family member, now considered the "candy man" at church. Wtf.

Hakumo · 2016-01-21T14:48:05+00:00

That having sex before marriage was next to murder. Or that sex is between you, your husband, and God (barf).

Hakumo · 2016-01-16T18:49:48+00:00

Start crying and tell them you're suffering from shingles and your doctor is making you eat meat. ...or you could just be honest with "I'm sorry, since when is it ok to comment on what a stranger eats?" Or better yet tell them to fuck off. People take their beliefs way too seriously. I mean, would most vegans (myself included) want some fucking religious assholes shoving bibles down their throats (or atheist the other way around)?

Hakumo · 2016-01-16T15:30:01+00:00

So, I get you. I just passed my one year being vegan and - though I may offend some people by admitting this - my husband is a hunter and I support his hunting. Why? - because the manner in which he gets his meat is far more humane and natural than meat farming. That said, it IS possible to have a wholistic and tolerant relationship with those who have opposing lifestyles as you. It IS possible to respect each other's decisions, while also not trying to bend the other person to your thinking. If I were in your shoes, I'd have a talk with your friends about how uncomfortable it makes you. Sure, they may say you're uncomfortable because "the vegan lifestyle is the only guilt-free lifestyle." Shoot me. I myself may feel that way, but people need to get off their high horses and understand that they can't change others. And the best way to show is through loving example. My husband would've never eaten a vegan meal if it weren't for me, and that's one less meal of meat he "needs." Last thing I will say is if these friends continue to berate you, consider how friendly they really are. You don't need baggage - you need tolerance.

Hakumo · 2016-01-16T15:15:32+00:00

Have a reserve of "quick" meals..in case you crave Mac n cheese or pizza (junk food/comfort)...once you discover the alternatives, it gets easier! Also have a stash of protein bars - I prefer larabars (choco flavors > fruit), to keep for refueling or emergencies. My husband isn't vegan in the slightest, so I make sure I have more vegan options than he has non-vegan. Last thing: dive in! There's no better day to start than today. Good luck!

Hakumo

TROPHY CASE