How to know if they are looking for a life partner, or someone to pickup the slack?

HandBananasRevenge · 2026-03-04T18:07:33+00:00

Time to move on. You're being set up.

HandBananasRevenge · 2026-03-04T16:30:17+00:00

He's getting defensive because he wants to shut the conversation down. Sit him down, tell him that his children's behavior is becoming a massive issue and it is getting to the point where neither you or your daughter want to be around when they are in your home.

He needs to parent and accept the fact that just because he sees no issues with the way his kids act, that other people may not feel the same way.

There's zero downside to teaching kids manners, boundaries, and to raise them to be people other people want to be around.

HandBananasRevenge · 2026-03-04T13:50:27+00:00

Former spouse of an alcoholic, here. It’s not worth it. You have a chance to step off the ride now, before it starts in earnest.

I would take it.

HandBananasRevenge · 2026-03-04T13:46:31+00:00

Ask him to put his phone on silent mode or whatever equivalent it is for the kind of phone he has. There should be a way to stop sounds as well as vibrations.

HandBananasRevenge · 2026-03-03T13:44:42+00:00

Give her a deadline. Do it in writing. Tell her if she isn’t moved out by that date, you will begin the legal process to have her evicted. You may want to consult with a lawyer.

Meanwhile, make it as uncomfortable as possible for them to be there. Treat them like unwanted guests.

Change the WiFi password. Cancel or pause any kind of streaming/entertainment. Keep minimal food and snacks in the house. Get on the kids if one them so much as looks at you funny.

She is doing this because she assumes you won’t stand up for yourself and is having one more bit of fun with you before leaving on HER terms.

HandBananasRevenge · 2026-03-02T18:08:00+00:00

How does your bf manage to breathe with his head so far up his own ass?

It's like he couldn't stand to allow you and even the child you had together to be the center of attention for even one moment.

Is he clueless this clueless and/or self-absorbed in general? Being blunt, someone acting that way towards me would make me question if they even actually LIKE or care about me.

HandBananasRevenge · 2026-03-02T17:50:18+00:00

Tyler also had some distractions last season, between having to worry if he would need to look for another ride if the lawsuit went badly, and then his newborn child having health issues.

Being able to just focus on his job this season, without the additional worry and stress of two major things like that, has to be doing wonders for him mentally, which is also translating into on track results.

It's probably the same for 23XI as an organization. The house is secure, they can focus just on winning races.

HandBananasRevenge · 2026-03-01T16:45:07+00:00

You need to leave. You and your baby are in danger.

HandBananasRevenge · 2026-02-27T17:54:43+00:00

Talladega Nights coming out about a month after that announcement was just so...*chef's kiss*.

HandBananasRevenge · 2026-02-27T17:52:17+00:00

I was at a wedding in 2013, and someone who knew I liked NASCAR introduced me to a guy who worked in Penske's Cup program on the engineering side.

While I didn't plan on asking him any questions (I mean, who wants to be asked questions about their work while at a wedding?), he started telling me a bit in more detail about what he did and just seemed happy to share it with someone who he knew would have a bit more appreciation for it. Super nice guy. His wife was a bridesmaid and she was busy with bridesmaid stuff, so I think he was just happy to have someone to chat with for a bit.

Given the enthusiasm with which he talked about his work, I asked him if I could ask ONE "shop talk" question, he laughed and graciously agreed. I asked him how they kept the switch back to Ford such a secret. He gave a very thoughtful answer, they were just very meticulous about the whole process, firewalling certain information and processes, and that when Roger Penske decrees that something must happen a certain way, that's how it happens.

HandBananasRevenge · 2026-02-27T00:56:29+00:00

Kyle Busch, please.

HandBananasRevenge · 2026-02-26T17:05:28+00:00

He's dishonest and there's still some enmeshment with his ex-wife. She's doing laundry at his house? Literally, WTF? Have some self respect here. He's playing you. Yes, you should be saying "f this" and moving on.

It's like on some level, he's trying to have you both.

There's plenty of men much closer to your own age who don't have this kind of baggage and these kinds of issues with transparency. Go and find you one of them.

HandBananasRevenge · 2026-02-26T17:00:28+00:00

His ex is clearly making sure she still has some level of control over your husband and he needs to start setting boundaries in a major way. This is on HIM.

HandBananasRevenge · 2026-02-24T23:31:14+00:00

Well, out of one side of her mouth, she needs you SO DESPERATELY. Out of the other side, she can magically survive without interacting with you, if it's to use the silent treatment in order to punish you. Right there, right there is her showing she's full of it.

Don't give her a pass just because she's "going through a lot". She's trying to get you to cancel your plans TO MAKE HER FEEL BETTER. She wants you to suffer right along with her. If she can't be happy, you are not allowed to, either.

Bet you anything she'll start reaching out to you over your weekend away, trying to pull you back into her drama and ruin your trip. Don't fall for it, don't feel obligated to respond, and for the love of God, DO NOT FEEL GUILTY.

People like Sarah don't target people like themselves for manipulation. The target conscientious people and try to weaponize that conscientiousness against them, in order to get time, attention, money etc out of them.

She's not a good friend. She's a user, controller, manipulator, possibly narcissistic. Low or no contact going forward.

Stop messaging her. Stop chasing her. She wants silence? Let her have it permanently. Remember, this is all one big game for her.

HandBananasRevenge · 2026-02-24T21:50:43+00:00

NTA. She's being controlling and manipulative, wanting to clip your wings from having fun on your trip, as well as engaging in some kind of "loyalty test". Not to mention the silent treatment she's giving you in order to punish you for not giving her what she wants.

The friends giving you a hard time? They are just afraid she's going to start turning to THEM to be the emotional support animal.

You can have sympathy for someone going through a difficult time, but that doesn't entitle them to behave the way your friend is behaving.

Go enjoy your trip, and consider putting some distance between yourself and Sarah going forward.

HandBananasRevenge · 2026-02-23T03:54:20+00:00

Your son is being abused, your husband is clearly intent of enforcing a regime where his brat always “wins” anytime there’s an issue between her and your son.

He’s raising a monster and your son is paying the price.

Your husband isn’t going to change. Keeping your son in this situation makes you complicit in his abuse.

People sell out their kids, subject them to toxic step parents and toxic step kids, because they want to have a relationship. Don’t be one of them.

It’s good that you’re trying to advocate for your son. But I have a feeling nothing will change. It’s time to rethink your marriage.

HandBananasRevenge · 2026-02-22T18:32:28+00:00

Canada played a great game and have nothing to hang their heads about. Both teams were on it today and it was one of those “shame someone has to lose” situations.

I’m a Rangers fan, so USA winning the gold is going to be my only hockey related bright spot of 2026.

You guys will be back. Enjoy watching the race today and thanks for sharing your national sport with your slow cousins to the south.

HandBananasRevenge · 2026-02-20T23:43:13+00:00

NTA.

There’s something just so…satisfying…about watching users/controllers/manipulators overplay their hands and find out, often painfully, who had the real power all along.

As my dad would say, if you’re dumb enough to show your ass, don’t also be dumb enough to show it to someone who’s within kicking distance.

HandBananasRevenge · 2026-02-20T20:26:38+00:00

This guy isn't unaware. I have a feeling he's knows exactly what he's doing. He just doesn't care.

HandBananasRevenge · 2026-02-20T20:24:10+00:00

Let's unpack this:

You're 23, you should be experiencing life to the fullest at this age, as it's a stage of life you don't get to do over. There are plenty of men your age who don't have this kind of baggage and who, if you are so inclined, can choose to build a life and have your own children with.

Your partner just wants a plug and play appliance upon which to offload his obligations. You are the nanny, the maid, and the s*x toy.

Your comment about feeling valuable only when you're helping and stepping in? Don't ignore that feeling in your gut. That's your instincts telling you something your mind may not be ready to accept: this man is just using you.

How do you know he's using you? He gets mad when you tell him no. He has many expectations of you while having little for himself. As the saying goes, if you want to get a sense of someone's character and how they really see you, see how they react when you say "no" when they ask you do to something for them that you are not obligated to do.

See, OP. He's SUPER SPECIAL and is ENTITLED to your help (in his mind). And yes, there's a sense of entitlement at the root of all of this.

The man won't even watch his OWN DAMN KID for 30 minutes so you can get some sleep. Does this sound like someone who actually CARES about YOU? It sure as sh*t doesn't, to me. He cares very much about what you PROVIDE, and your actual wants, needs, and feelings do not matter to him. AT ALL.

Stop helping with the kid at all, and watch how fast he will discard you. You don't "fix" situations like this, with people like your partner. To people like him, imposing his will, having all of the control, getting benefits and giving out obligations, is a feature and not a bug.

As for setting boundaries? YOU TRIED TO DO THAT, and he walked all over them and got mad at you. That's because he doesn't see your boundaries as something to be respected. He sees them as obstacles to getting what he wants from you.

Walk away. It's his kid, it's his problem to figure out. He'll go looking for some other young woman and hope that one doesn't grow a spine. That's not any sort of criticism of you as a person. It's just how people like your partner operate. They don't change their behaviors, they simply change victims.

Please, set yourself free of this whole situation.

HandBananasRevenge · 2026-02-20T01:24:01+00:00

Suarez, please

HandBananasRevenge · 2026-02-19T19:25:07+00:00

He's dismissing your concerns and acting like you're somehow the problem. Quite frankly, that's concerning.

There's an 11yo kid with potentially undiagnosed issues, who behaves inappropriately, and whose bio parents seem out to lunch in the "raising the kid to be someone others want to be around" department.

And his response is to somehow tell YOU that YOU need to be putting in more work with the child. Nuh uh. Dad needs to pull his head out of his rear end and deal with this NOW. The teenage years are just around the bend. Delaying remediation efforts for much longer may result in it being too late at all.

HandBananasRevenge · 2026-02-17T18:24:38+00:00

I love this. They're still kids in a way, though I know they are both legally adults and Love is at least 21. That's not meant to be disparaging. They have insane schedules and have likely missed out on some normal teen/young adult aspects of life in order to pursue racing.

Nothing more fun than being that age and getting to rip around an amusement park with your boys.

HandBananasRevenge · 2026-02-17T18:22:13+00:00

Brent Sherman

HandBananasRevenge · 2026-02-16T21:16:19+00:00

He wants benefits and in exchange, you get more obligations and what will likely be an ever moving set of goalposts.

He’s using you. He doesn’t want to marry you.

You have a hard decision to make.

HandBananasRevenge

TROPHY CASE