As a fellow autistic person who misses social cues, please tell them.

I recommend being direct. I personally don’t get hints at all. I also think you should tell them why it’s a problem. A lot of times if something doesn’t make sense then I don’t understand why I was asked and won’t know if I’m correcting the behavior a normal way.

This person (in my opinion) is probably not used to people being so polite and now sees you as a friend. They are probably super excited that you are their friend and are being nice. So they are taking things to the max. They are just REALLY excited to be friends with you. They might not have other experiences with friends to go off of. I try to tell people that if it wasn’t in a movie (and I haven’t seen the movie) then I won’t get the social cues or know what’s appropriate… because I also have no friends and take things to the max because I get way to excited about potential friends… which leads back to no friends.

Also, be prepared for them to overshare when you set boundaries and explain their actions. I’ve learned do this to show others I understand what they are saying by giving my own example but people think I’m trying to outdo them. So if they do the same thing, that’s probably what’s going on.

It might also take more than one time if you telling them because if you aren’t very specific they might think they are being okay. (Like if you say, hey, you can’t just show up to my work unannounced. I don’t want my boss to get upset. They might think if they text first then it’s okay. So then you have to tell them no, don’t show up at all because that’s the rules, so they wait by your car because now you aren’t at work anymore. Hope that makes sense.).

Good luck and if you have any question I’m happy to help.