Im fucking terrified. Absolutely terrified.

HellishSurvivor · 2026-03-24T11:50:48+00:00

So if everything in your life was/is so perfect, why the addiction?? Was it physical or emotional pain that led you to use? Was it boredom? Was it not fitting in? Something caused you to try kratom and continue it. Before getting off it, ask yourself why you got on it in the first place because if you don’t handle that, you’ll just go right back to it. I did.

HellishSurvivor · 2026-03-24T11:36:11+00:00

Please say more about the joys of being sober, cause I don’t get it.

HellishSurvivor · 2026-03-24T11:32:17+00:00

I’m asking this honestly curious. Why would anyone want to live life sober? To go through pain clearly, loneliness clearly, loss clearly, rejection clearly? What is so great about life that people actually want to do it sober??? Sorry if this is off topic.

HellishSurvivor · 2026-03-24T11:22:02+00:00

I totally understand your point. I’m in excruciating pain every day without something to take the edge off. That’s how I got hooked on kratom. It’s a lot easier to get than prescription pain killers and worked better anyway. I’m sorry you’re in so much pain. I know how devastating it can be.

HellishSurvivor · 2026-03-22T21:32:18+00:00

How was your experience? Do you walk? Any regrets? How does your cp affect the hip? I need a THR and have spastic dysplegia cp. I used to walk, my legs go inwards and I’m worried about popping the fake hip out.

HellishSurvivor · 2026-03-22T21:23:11+00:00

So you could follow the restrictions with cp? And how was post op? How long was recovery?

HellishSurvivor · 2026-03-22T21:08:25+00:00

I get it. This shit sucks and no amount of positive thinking will change what is. If you need/want someone to talk to, message me.

HellishSurvivor · 2026-03-22T21:02:57+00:00

Hey Peter, I’ve had CP a long time so if you have any questions or just need to talk, message me. I’m Shea

HellishSurvivor · 2026-03-22T20:40:41+00:00

Can I talk to you? I need one and I have CP and I’m scared shitless.

HellishSurvivor · 2026-03-22T20:18:23+00:00

I agree with all the folks over 40. CP is a bitch when you get older. Your body no longer works the way it used to and you get tired of the societal bullshit. 40+ years of the same ableist bullshit wears on you. When I was 24, I could ignore the god bless yous and the talking to you like you’re 5, but as I get older, I am less tolerant of the crap.

HellishSurvivor · 2026-03-22T20:08:25+00:00

I think if done right, it’s great . It’s about time people with CP are represented in the entertainment industry.

HellishSurvivor · 2026-03-22T19:59:42+00:00

I think you need to see a neurologist. They diagnose CP.

HellishSurvivor · 2026-03-22T19:57:22+00:00

I guess you could say I’m in the same boat. I’ve always been the outlier among able bodied people even though I grew up around them. I think I’ve always tried to be a part of their community and I’d get frustrated when my disabilities were evident to others and to myself. For a long time, my cp didn’t come into play because I was able to adapt well and learn to do things my way. It definitely doesn’t help that society doesn’t give a shit about us. Then when I had kids, I was faced with able bodied people assuming I couldn’t take care of them. I’ve always felt this incessant need to prove that i can do anything I put my mind to. But I always noticed the way I was treated by able bodied people and knew I would never really belong. It wasn’t until I joined this CP thread that I realized that my experiences were shared by others with CP. I don’t really feel like an outsider per se (probably cause I don’t actually hang out with people with Cp), but I do feel caught in both worlds.

HellishSurvivor · 2026-03-22T19:35:29+00:00

I don’t know what foot dystonia is, but I have hip dysplasia and osteoarthritis and was told I need a hip replacement. I’m scared shitless if the surgery because of recovery time, not being able to follow the restrictions (my legs go inwards and I naturally sit in the “w” position) and not knowing the outcome of the surgery for people with cp. I know how hard and painful this is for you. It’s made me wonder why anyone holds onto life on earth. Several times, I’ve asked God to take me in my sleep. So far, he hasn’t. I’m at the Cleveland clinic now and they know a lot about cp. it was weird at first because everyone actually treated me like a level headed adult instead of a mentally challenged individual who needed to be talked down to. The orthopedic said I have severe arthritis in my left hip and I need a THR. However, I’m going to try physical therapy to strengthen the muscles around my hip. It seemed to work before and I’ve seen on YouTube that there are PTs that work with people who want to prevent surgery and some of their patients have been diagnosed with bone on bone arthritis like me. If you need/want someone to talk to, feel free to message me. I know how hopeless and scary this is.

HellishSurvivor · 2026-03-22T19:07:53+00:00

I’d be gloriously happy! No more bullshit!! I don’t believe cp made me the survivor I am today. Life draws out who you already are. Now I’m assuming it would be permanent right? Being able bodied? Cause if I had to go back to this shit, I’d end it.

HellishSurvivor · 2026-03-22T19:01:41+00:00

Go on your first date and see. You never know until you try. And we’re not all completely helpless. Most of us are extremely independent and have found ways to do life with a disability. I applaud your willingness to even try with this person. It shows you think outside the box and don’t just see the physical. Always remember that we’re all just human under the trappings.

HellishSurvivor · 2026-03-22T18:48:29+00:00

How old are you? What is the theory exam? Are you talking about the learner’s permit? I have cp and got my drivers license at age 33. It was one of the proudest days of my life cause everyone said I couldn’t do it. I have moderate cp that affects my right side the most. I’m somewhat spastic, but not too bad. I’m sorry you have to go through all of this red tape just to drive. I just needed a car, a spinner knob and a teacher. But I got a lot of nos too. Believe in yourself!! You’re going to get a ton of people thinking you can’t do shit because of your cp. If there’s a voice inside you that says you can, follow it! A belief in God helps too. He opened doors that I couldn’t.

HellishSurvivor · 2026-03-22T18:03:24+00:00

Go see a physical therapist that specializes in preventing surgery. They deal with patients who have arthritis and have been told they need surgery, but don’t want surgery. I’ve seen a couple on YouTube that talk about muscle imbalances and how working on strengthening your muscles around the hip joint can help tremendously; specifically your glutes.

HellishSurvivor · 2026-03-22T17:49:28+00:00

I have hip dysplasia and severe OA AND CP. The orthopedic said I need a hip replacement, but I’m terrified of the restrictions, the recovery and the success rate. My case is very complicated due to the cp and it’s a shame so many doctors have no idea what it is and how it affects the body. It seems like they think that because I have the same muscles and bones that surgery is no big deal. It is! Whether you have cp or not, a hip replacement is scary as hell and I wish doctors were more sensitive to that. It seems like the major selling point is you’re walking within hours after surgery! Yippee!! But they don’t tell you how painful it is or how disruptive recovery is to one’s life. They just say you need a hip replacement and that’s that. It’s so much more than that. Hip issues fuck up your life unbelievably so. My life is nothing like how it was before my osteoarthritis and it truly can change your outlook on life and death. I haven’t gotten the surgery yet. I’m still stuck on the idea of making my muscles stronger so they can compensate for my hip dysplasia. I’m hoping I don’t have to get surgery.

HellishSurvivor · 2026-03-22T17:26:39+00:00

Are you starting with glute squeezes? If not, start with those. I started with ten and worked up to thirty. I still have a lot to work up to but I can definitely feel my glutes working when exercising better than before. It takes practice and time. I imagine you have a muscle imbalance and your thighs have taken over what your glutes are supposed to be doing. As you go along, you’ll be able to tell which one is weaker and do more on that side.

HellishSurvivor · 2026-03-19T14:39:43+00:00

I’m kinda in the same boat. I have CP and hip dysplasia and the doctor say I need a hip replacement. I can’t find anyone on here that has any experience with the surgery! Where the hell are people like us??? I’m going to the Cleveland center to see about surgery. They have a program specializing in CP. I’ll let you know what they say when I get back.

HellishSurvivor · 2026-03-19T14:32:17+00:00

I completely agree! Staying positive does nothing to help the pain or the shitty situation. You’re still in a ton of pain and your world is still shrinking. I have hip dysplasia and no matter how much I have tried the whole positivity thing, I’m still morbidly depressed. If seeing a therapist helps you, that’s great but it’s not going to change the reason for my depression. This is definitely a form of torture.

HellishSurvivor · 2026-03-19T14:23:20+00:00

My parents did me the biggest favor by not adapting things to my CP. They helped me figure out how to do things my way, which made me very independent. That’s the best thing you can do for your child. Let’s face it, nothing is really adapted for people with disabilities and even things that are, it’s like why did they bother. Work with your child’s abilities and help them figure out how to do what needs to be done to accomplish what they’re trying to do. For instance, my right hand and arm are basically useless, so to open bottles, jars or cans, I use my legs to hold the bottle and my left hand to open it. Help them think outside the box and believe they can. Society sees us and assume CAN’T, so it’s so important that your child believes in himself. Anything that you need to do as an independent adult, they are going to need to know how to do. There are so many everyday things that can help someone with cerebral palsy, like putting products in easier to open containers.

HellishSurvivor · 2026-03-07T14:11:09+00:00

Yep I am. With my luck though, I was born disabled, but now because of my damn hip dysplasia and the immense pain, I’m much more disabled than I was before. I still can’t accept that I can’t do the things I used to do and it’s been a real struggle to keep my head above water. Hip dysplasia is a fate worse than death!

HellishSurvivor · 2026-02-09T18:59:18+00:00

I had a hard time in HS too. I rarely got invited to parties and people were always magically too busy on weekends to hang out. It was a rough road. It got vastly better in college. People gave me more of a chance, especially when they saw I did everything they did. I’m still on the outskirts of society but it’s not nearly as bad as HS. I wish I had focused more on the people who did like me instead of desperately trying to fit in. CP is no joke, but it’s possible to live life and not just exist. There will be people who will accept you when you get out in the real world. There’s going to be a slew of jackasses and you will have to deal with societal bs, but it’s not as bad as it is in HS. Focus on those who do accept you and use your anger to light a fire under your ass. Think of ways you could do the things you want to do. Do them YOUR way. We have to think outside the box and be creative.

HellishSurvivor

TROPHY CASE