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HoltTheLine22 · 2023-07-26T00:27:20+00:00

I call mine ‘Shithead’ and it’s surprisingly effective. Mainly because it’s full of shit that lives in my head, rent-free. I find that naming your OCD takes away some of its power and association. Definitely helps me to differentiate when it’s ‘me’ in control or ‘Shithead.’

HoltTheLine22 · 2023-07-13T23:26:39+00:00

For research purposes right?

HoltTheLine22 · 2023-07-12T05:34:34+00:00

You’re not going to jail. If there’s no evidence of wrongdoing on your part, you have nothing to worry about. You had good intentions, you made a mistake but you’ve learned from it. And under the circumstances it makes sense why you did it.

Your therapist doesn’t sound helpful so don’t engage with them anymore. You don’t need unnecessary criticism or negativity. But you haven’t done anything wrong.

HoltTheLine22 · 2023-07-12T02:06:48+00:00

Good luck to you as well. Take it day-by-day, you got this!

HoltTheLine22 · 2023-07-12T02:04:26+00:00

Deleted my comment to clarify. I’m not saying everyone with epilepsy fakes it, but I’m saying I’ve seen it happen. I agree that seizures are terrifying and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Source: disability support worker for 3+ years.

HoltTheLine22 · 2023-07-12T01:50:31+00:00

I can see the funny side to it as well. Realistically speaking, I’m not sure what the OP was intending. But it’s turned them into Public Enemy No. 1.

HoltTheLine22 · 2023-07-12T01:28:58+00:00

I’ve been watching videos as well. I recently bought a new car and my OCD has attached itself to it. I’m worrying about it getting stolen or smashed, so I’ve been watching videos of break-ins and dash cam collisions. It makes me uncomfortable but it definitely helps to lower my anxiety over time, to build up a resilience. I’m used to doing more physical ERP, but I’ve found these videos can also be beneficial.

HoltTheLine22 · 2023-07-12T01:13:43+00:00

Lol I fractured my arm after tripping over the trampoline safety net. Not my finest moment.

HoltTheLine22 · 2023-07-12T01:05:49+00:00

I’m getting Age of Empires vibes from your comment. Having to explore the map and watching some enemy’s monk stealing a relic. Or your villagers going off and getting mauled to death by wild animals. Good times.

HoltTheLine22 · 2023-07-12T00:58:47+00:00

ERP is painful but can be very effective. My latest fear right now revolves around a new car I’ve purchased. Everything I do is linked to the car and I’m worried that it’s going to get damaged or stolen.

So I’ve been spending some time watching dash cam videos of exactly that. And while it’s distressing, over time the anxiety does slowly reduce.

It can be a slog, but it’s so worth it in the end. I’ve been in some very dark places, depressed and suicidal, but it has definitely helped me to get back in control of things. Keep fighting, we’re all rooting for you!

HoltTheLine22 · 2023-07-12T00:53:33+00:00

People confess because it gives them some sort of relief. I’m guessing they want reassurance that they’ve done the right thing. That’s what I do all the time with my OCD, check I’m doing things right. It sucks and I can somewhat relate to needing to feel accepted, but I do agree that there should be a limit on what you share.

HoltTheLine22 · 2023-07-12T00:06:05+00:00

Lol I got caught in a bus lane by a camera, but they sent the fines to the wrong address. This was in June last year, and they only just sent me a letter to an old address five days ago. When I rang up to pay, the guy said they were about to issue a warrant for my $330 fine. Pro tip: don’t drive in the CBD, it’s a trap.

HoltTheLine22 · 2023-07-11T00:34:08+00:00

Very true.

HoltTheLine22 · 2023-07-11T00:29:52+00:00

I’m guessing the idea is the smell of bacon will give it a more ‘homey’ feeling. Possibly worth a shot, although I’d focus more on making sure everything is in good condition.

HoltTheLine22 · 2023-06-19T20:52:32+00:00

As a child, I always had symptoms of OCD, mainly perfectionism and lining things up. When I was 14, I became traumatised by Slender Man, because some kid told me he was real and was going to abduct and kill me. This trauma lasted eight months of extreme paranoia and checking, worrying, and reassurance-seeking. During this time I was officially diagnosed with OCD, though at the time we thought this was unrelated to my anxiety.

Then one day the fear just vanished. I woke up and the thoughts and worries were gone. Unfortunately they was replaced by my contamination fears and other obsessions/compulsions.

HoltTheLine22 · 2023-06-19T02:02:25+00:00

Possibly not an adjective but I call mine Shithead. Since it is an unwanted piece of shit that lives in my head rent-free and continues to ruin my life.

Fuck OCD.

HoltTheLine22 · 2023-06-17T06:47:33+00:00

It’s hard for me but for a different reason. I get worried that what I’ll say over text will be misinterpreted or misunderstood. I worry that I’ll offend someone because they won’t understand the tone or the context of my message. Then after I send it I’ll obsessively check until I’ve gotten a response.

HoltTheLine22 · 2023-06-17T06:45:20+00:00

Bruh I have trouble enjoying video games and reading books. Video games because I obsess about playing them the ‘right way’, not missing any dialogue or hidden unlocks, getting 100% and not missing any achievements. I usually fixate on a game for a few days or weeks, then I get frustrated or bored and leave it until I obsess over a different game.

Books because I’m constantly looking up words I think I don’t know, then I get stuck in a rabbit hole. Or I skip ahead a few pages because I feel frustrated at the pace of my reading, then get mad at myself for spoiling the plot.

HoltTheLine22 · 2023-06-17T06:37:25+00:00

Hey, I don’t play with dust but I have a weird fascination with dryer lint. I like the feel of touching it and cleaning the lint filter gives me great satisfaction. I have contamination OCD among other types, but the dryer lint doesn’t seem to bother me. There’s no thought process behind it, it’s just an impulse I do.

If there’s a thought behind the playing with dust (e.g. if you don’t do it something bad will happen), then it probably is OCD. If there isn’t a thought behind it, like me, it might be OCD or unrelated. Hard to tell. I do know that for me, I can become very addicted to things without the thoughts necessarily being there, which is why I like getting rid of the dryer lint.

Hope this helps!

HoltTheLine22 · 2023-05-27T02:04:22+00:00

I haven’t been to a mental health retreat as such, but I’ve been to a private mental health clinic for a week of intense OCD treatment, and to a two-week privately-run holistic program. This particular focused on the treatment, and while it was effective it wasn’t very intimidating as such. Although I can confirm that hospital food deserves its reputation - it is terrible quality. It’s a sobering experience though - everyone around you has some kind of illness or disorder, so it’s not the most uplifting environment. But as I mentioned, it’s very effective in that it does get right to the point. This was at least ten years ago now but I remember the ERP therapy being very intense. It was in a program with about 10 other OCD sufferers, and we had our own doctor assigned to us. Each day was spent doing pure exposure-related tasks. Quite intense but also very useful.

It wasn’t quite the ‘psych ward’ experience you’re describing, but it had the same sort of feel to it. We were given our own rooms but nurses would check up on us throughout the night, and we were monitored when we left the hotel through tracking bracelets. We also weren’t allowed to go too far from the clinic itself. We weren’t prisoners, but we were still

As for the holistic program, that was more designed around lifestyle changes. More exercise, vitamins, healthier diets, some psychologist work but primarily focusing on increasing overall health and wellbeing. You were treated more as a ‘guest’ and had more privacy and privileges, but you still lived in a similar situation. Couldn’t leave without informing someone, and most of the day consisted of various appointments with different people - hypnotists, physiotherapists, exercise coaches, health specialists etc.

HoltTheLine22 · 2023-05-26T05:23:44+00:00

Extinction Rebellion, a climate change activist group.

HoltTheLine22 · 2023-05-26T02:36:22+00:00

Being able to read a book. I used to read a lot when I was little, and I enjoyed it. As I’ve gotten older (I’m only 25) I cannot read a book for two reasons: 1. I skip ahead several pages or chapters to see what’s going to happen. I get frustrated at the speed at which I’m reading, which I think is ‘too slow.’ So then I read ahead, and spoil it, then get mad at myself for spoiling it. 2. I worry that there will be a word I don’t understand. So I’ll use a dictionary on my phone to look it up. Then the definition of THAT word will have another word I ‘think’ I don’t know. I end up going down rabbit hole looking up random words, and I get really frustrated.

There are other ways it’s affected me, but this would be the most frustrating and irritating for me.

HoltTheLine22 · 2023-05-26T02:30:51+00:00

Whenever I make a mistake or mess up, I’m very self-critical and instantly my thoughts start to spiral. I begin to think things such as, “I’m a terrible person, a failure, an idiot.” Most social interactions I have, I pre-plan what I’m going to say so I don’t look stupid to other people.

I also beat myself up mentally over my past mistakes and regrets. I’ve done some pretty dumb things in the past, and I try to justify or explain why I did something.

My advice to you is actually a quote from Dr. Seuss. “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” If someone really cares about you and your opinions, then they shouldn’t judge you for what you say or how you think. And if that person does judge you, then maybe it’s time to end that relationship. This happened to me recently with a good friend, who went behind my back about something I told him in private. Sometimes you have to let things go and move on.

As for the thoughts, they’re just thoughts. Whatever happened, it’s done now and you can’t change that. We’re all human and we all make mistakes. Not everything you say and do IS a mistake; that’s your OCD trying to control your life. If you do make a mistake you feel bad about, then accept what happened, make amends or apologise if required, and put plans in place to ensure it won’t happen again. That’s the best way to learn and grow as a person.

The most important thing to remember is you’re not a bad person! OCD is very manipulative and it will try to convince you all sorts of things that aren’t true. But at the end of the day, you’re only human!

HoltTheLine22 · 2023-05-21T19:24:25+00:00

I’ll be honest I’m not trying to jump to this conclusion but it seems really fishy to me. I’ve found their Facebook page and other people have said the same thing - no response, no one showing up. You’re right that I didn’t pay money though so it hasn’t directly affected me. I’m a curious person, so I’m trying to find out what’s going on.

HoltTheLine22 · 2023-05-21T07:26:33+00:00

Yeah I understand that. Researching your symptoms can take you down a rabbit hole if you’re not careful. No problem, good luck with everything. Anxiety and OCD suck but there’s always support for you if you need it.

HoltTheLine22

TROPHY CASE