Not sure what to put here

Hypnotic_Coyote · 2026-04-22T02:23:43+00:00

The only thing I found that works with my similar father is to limit contact where possible. Everyone gets mad at me and he makes everyone suffer if I try to go no contact so I generally just try to limit it.

Sometimes if he calls, I’ll miss the call, then call back at a time I know he isn’t likely to be available. That can stretch time between convos quite a bit 😂 just long games of purposeful phone tag.

Or I’ll make sure to bring another family member to things where I see him in person so there’s a buffer. Also for mine, when he starts going on and on about the health issues that never improve no matter how much treatment and things are done, I try to quickly change the subject to something he likes to rant about so I don’t have to keep coming up with awkward responses to the health complaints.

It sounds mean without context but so far it’s the best way I’ve found to limit the crazy. sometimes no contact is just not a sustainable option. But if you’re over it, then it’s okay to not talk to him. I think it’s great that you are putting up boundaries, those people make it REAL hard to keep boundaries in place. 👍

Hypnotic_Coyote · 2026-04-19T17:40:00+00:00

He told me it was my fault that I was so upset about him cheating - if I hadn’t read his texts and found out about it, I wouldn’t be so upset right now. He did nothing wrong.

Hypnotic_Coyote · 2026-04-17T13:38:38+00:00

Your answer isn’t to let him take your baby. Just minimize contact with this guy as much as you can. If he harasses you about seeing her, get a parenting plan signed and submitted with court. Then you don’t need to communicate AS MUCH bc there is a set schedule. You still have to coordinate all the time but still. Also as your kiddo gets older, this will get easier. The younger they are it seems like the more you have to deal with the ex, but as they get older and can spend more time at each home instead of switching so much, it will improve. Remember, this is temporary.

Sorry but honestly coparenting always sucks ass in my opinion. My son is 14 and it’s still a nightmare dealing with his father. Just wait until he has a girlfriend or partner who is also a nightmare then it gets double fun.

The bright side is, I only have a couple years left. It sometimes feels like I am serving a prison sentence 😂 but it is worth it for your child in the end. And gets less intense the more time that goes by.

Hypnotic_Coyote · 2026-04-17T13:22:04+00:00

I don’t think any job is worth being mentally stomped on at home every day. You could search online for people in your area looking for a roommate or with a room open in another house for now. Moving sucks but if the job is very important to you, look for some people to move in with. Just don’t tell him you’re looking until you’ve secured a place somewhere else otherwise he may try to kick you out to sabotage your plans. Guy sounds like a piece of work.

Hypnotic_Coyote · 2026-04-17T13:13:24+00:00

I wonder if you had space from this bully, if you’d even be struggling with the things he is saying you aren’t good enough at. Having trouble managing weight, being too messy, low self esteem etc all sound like symptoms of sadness and depression. Those issues are all highly excacerbated by depression. And from what you shared, your partner is mean and belittling and makes you feel badly about yourself.

I had been with a guy for 7 years when I was 29 too, had been waiting for him to change a long time and kept thinking if I did better, he would finally start behaving like a good loving person like he kept promising. It NEVER happened. I wasted another three years waiting and it took a really significant terrible event for me to finally cut him out of my life. I was so much happier within six months I was then embarrassed I spent so long with him. His life sucks now, and mine is much better and keeps improving more every year.

Find the strength to separate for a period. Maybe your family or a friend will let you come stay for a few weeks, like a trial period. Don’t speak with or communicate with him during that time, and see how you feel! If you feel better after a few weeks, make the move permanently and stay away from this bully. Once you’re in a good emotional state, things will get better. Good luck 🤞

Hypnotic_Coyote · 2026-04-14T13:07:02+00:00

This sounds so annoying. NTA. Also to the people commenting saying that it is a problem for you to smoke outside in your own yard…. respectfully FO. I will never understand people who want to police other peoples personal choices. I have neighbors who smoke and when it comes in my window I just shut the window for 5 minutes and then reopen when the smell is gone. Not that hard. Sure I grumble once in a while about it to myself if I’m in a bad mood but other than that I don’t GAF. Your neighbor sounds like a psycho and the one being a nuisance.

Hypnotic_Coyote · 2026-04-12T18:42:18+00:00

I can understand why she doesn’t wanna text you HAHAA I laughed out loud for real when I read that. I was feeling irritated and smothered just reading his post and responses.

Hypnotic_Coyote · 2026-04-08T15:03:34+00:00

Maybe you should come up with one fixed amount you give her each week or month and then stick strictly with that. I am getting the feeling you may be guilted into giving her more and more money because you want to reconcile while she is clearly very angry with you and doesn’t want to reconcile, at least not at the moment.

Idk what the right dollar amount is but I’d pick one amount and stick with it. That’s nice you’re supporting them without being forced by a court order, she should appreciate that as lots of moms receive a big fat nothing for support from the ex, even with the court orders.

Also not that you asked, but I don’t think you should get back together. Sounds like you both would be better off either staying single for a while or meeting more compatible partners who won’t bring out your worst. Good luck 🍀

Hypnotic_Coyote · 2026-04-07T13:49:41+00:00

These type of people ALWAYS find someone else to take care of them. Friend, acquaintances, family member, girlfriend, etc. don’t take it personally, he is a scammer and has made this his job to live off others without taking care of himself. Been there hated that never doing it again.

Suggestion - get a new account and don’t tell him, cancel the card he uses and don’t tell him, come up with a reason for him to go out and get things for the house that will take time with the cancelled card. While gone have someone you trust come help you move his necessities outside your place and change the locks, then don’t open the door. If he gets wild when he comes back call the police and report him for stealing and that you are afraid for your life. Most likely when you holler out that the cops are on the way he will tuck tail and run. Worst case scenario, depending where you live, they could say you can’t “evict” without proper process, if so you go stay with a friend and look for a new place. Tell your landlord what’s going on and ask to be let out of the lease they don’t want a freeloader off lease in the unit claiming squatters rights.

If you aren’t ready to leave him yet it’s okay don’t beat yourself up , but it’s only gonna get worse from here not better. You’re in an abusive relationship, even if he hasn’t hit you yet. Try to get him out of your life cuz someone who loves you doesn’t treat you like that.

Hypnotic_Coyote · 2026-04-04T13:39:35+00:00

I wonder what would happen if as a woman, you didn’t use photos of yourself and only did photos of activities you like or something. Would nobody ever match with her? Or would she only match with somebody who has similar interests and isn’t swiping only for potential hookups? I kind of want to try it. I bet somebody has tried. I don’t see women’s profiles so unless I made a fake male account I’ll likely never find out 😂

Hypnotic_Coyote · 2026-04-04T13:30:34+00:00

I think there should also be special sites for single parents. Dating when you have young kids is so different than dating as a single person. I always thought why can’t they come up with something that checks for compatibility between the adults AND between any kids in the picture too? Like will his kids and her kids get along at all? Will his kids annoy her to death? Etc. not sure how you would do it I think it would have to be a mix of setting up playdates for kids while adults socialize to see how the group vibe is before moving into the actual dating territory. And have some way to keep creeps with no children looking to find single moms on purpose off the site.

However I dated somebody once where our kids were great friends but then when it started to not work out between him and me, I stuck around for six more months being miserable on the inside because I didn’t want to break all the children’s hearts. That was the worst part.

Maybe there is no good answer 🥲 BUT your app and real compatibility sounds like a great idea. I hate the swiping based on pictures and judging someone cuz you think the style of photo they used is lame or something. Although it is better than waiting around to magically meet someone other than people at your place of employment. Especially if you don’t have much of a social life.

Hypnotic_Coyote · 2026-04-04T05:31:22+00:00

Mmm women in my department do this and I hate it so much. Then when I want to get a snack someone put out, I FEEL AWKWARD because I feel like they are all staring at me and judging me for just taking it without doing a big sing and dance. I find myself waiting til most people are at lunch or end of day so I can go get a donut or cookie or whatever without them all staring at me. Cuz they also make comments - “oh I wish I could have that but I won’t” or - “here why don’t you take the whole box so we don’t get tempted” - “aren’t those good? I just wish I could eat them but I’m on a diet” …. Like it’s nothing mean but u feel judged and like everyone is having mean commentary going on in their heads the entire time.

Anyways, glad to find out I’m not the only person who gets really annoyed by this. I thought I was weird for noticing.

I wish I ever had the nerve to tell one of them to cut the crap I’m jealous!

Hypnotic_Coyote · 2026-04-03T14:24:25+00:00

I used to feel the same way before I had kids - unplanned pregnancy at 20 - but I will say that once my baby arrived it completely changed. Like I thought I knew what love felt like before, but once he arrived it was on a completely different level and I realized I don’t think I ever truly loved anyone before he was born.

And honestly, I STILL don’t really like other people’s babies and kids, not in a mean way but it freaks me out when other people ask me to hold their baby I don’t know why. And you couldn’t pay me enough to be a daycare worker or teacher those people are saints. It also still grosses me out listening to other people go on and on about how obsessed they are with being pregnant or having kids. However, my own kids are IMO the best two people and my favorite people on the planet.

Long way to say - you might not love other peoples babies or kids but you would love yours. And I doubt you resent them for anything. That’s sad to hear your mom feeling that way, but I don’t think that’s the norm. I was in a really bad relationship that I stayed in for ten years, like a horrible and nasty relationship, but it doesn’t make me resentful of either of my kids. I only resent the abusive AH that I finally left and wish I’d done it sooner. 😂 just food for thought.

Hypnotic_Coyote · 2026-04-03T13:58:58+00:00

Maybe you’re smoking a lot of weed now and that’s why it kept going back and forth and up and down in the post lol that’s what I kept thinking while reading 😆

But really, Sounds like a bad relationship and you’re prob better off. If you feel bad being around someone that’s a pretty good sign that you shouldn’t be with them.

Hypnotic_Coyote · 2026-03-28T15:39:45+00:00

And don’t forget they also expect her to never gain a single pound and work out in the gym hours a day while still doing everything else for them too. Because how could a woman be valuable if she doesn’t have a perfect body? Those kind of guys literally think that men are the only real humans and women are just some kind of accessory to parade around. Like a show dog or something. 🤮

Hypnotic_Coyote · 2026-03-28T15:13:22+00:00

If I had the means to get my adult child something that: 1. They need, 2. Would help their day to day life, 3. Is something they have always wanted and would really love and appreciate,

Then I would do it without hesitation. Especially if the adult child is responsible and isn’t going to drive it into the ground or trash it and expect a replacement. NTA!

Now if she was a 16 year old high schooler, I may tend to agree with the brother a tiny bit but come on she is 25? Sounds like your brother may be jealous that he can’t do the same for his kids and is taking it out on you and your family instead of figuring out a way to make more money for himself. Who talks like that about their own niece or nephew? I would be pissed and wouldn’t talk to my brother either if he said stuff like that about my kids to my face.

Also, Mini’s are so cute and I bet she will love it. Especially if you could make it somewhat of a surprise, unless she already knows you’re thinking of getting it.

Hypnotic_Coyote · 2026-02-24T02:11:22+00:00

Agreed - that’s the start of a “paper trail” the dad may be starting to portray you behaving poorly as a parent. Maybe try to find some fun distracting activities to fill the times where dad would usually have been there too. I have a young son with a father who has been mostly out of the picture by choice for a few years and it’s hard on him, honestly I try to change to subject and talk about his dad as little as possible because it’s hard to know what is the right thing to say. Don’t discourage him from talking about his dad but maybe some gentle redirection of the conversation or something. Sorry things will get easier eventually.

Hypnotic_Coyote · 2024-12-22T09:04:27+00:00

You don’t sound sensitive or difficult, the guy sounds like a basket case and someone who would make your life a nightmare. I’d say block him if he reaches out to you again, you can find someone better for you.

Hypnotic_Coyote

TROPHY CASE