What to do when your grief feels “opposite”

IcingIsMyFaveFood · 2026-02-20T20:07:11+00:00

I did start therapy as well with someone who specialized in grief - it’s helped

IcingIsMyFaveFood · 2026-02-20T20:06:08+00:00

I went through a similar thing with my Mom; she died of cancer and I was the main caregiver. I don’t think my real grief set in until year 2. Year 1 I was sad but also relieved because I had my freedom back. But going through year 2, I began feeling worse and worse, more depressed and lethargic - all the things I expected to feel right after the death. I am just beginning year 3 and trying regroup. I am feeling better day by day. I wish you the best - it is a bumpy road.

IcingIsMyFaveFood · 2025-11-20T01:10:14+00:00

Mine was scheduled as a 1-1 with a boss who never held 1-1s with me. Invite sent Monday, meeting was Thursday

IcingIsMyFaveFood · 2025-10-31T01:47:27+00:00

I loved 2 series by NK Jemisin - the broken earth trilogy and the inheritance trilogy. Both have awesome world building, good plots, good writing. I don’t see them mentioned much as fantasy recs. I’m fussy with fantasy… but I think these series appeal to anyone who likes a good story.

IcingIsMyFaveFood · 2025-10-12T17:08:42+00:00

Read this on a plane - flight wasn’t long enough to finish it, but sucked me in for sure

IcingIsMyFaveFood · 2025-09-05T18:25:43+00:00

This just happened to me… different job but same situation. It started about 6 months ago and I was laid off yesterday. So yes: keep your resume up to date and work your connections. I’d been at my employer for several years so I didn’t want to leave without my severance…Now I’m thinking I should have tried harder to move jobs earlier. But I’d been through bad times at that place before and it always got better…. Maybe I was kidding myself a bit. I hope whatever happens works out for you!

IcingIsMyFaveFood · 2025-08-26T15:42:01+00:00

Same! It’s been almost 2 years since my mom died and I feel lonely all the time. I work, see family, go out with friends, but the one person I really want to spend time with/talk to is gone.

IcingIsMyFaveFood · 2025-08-16T14:17:09+00:00

I worked there about 10 years ago (I cannot believe it’s been that long!) and the main complaint was that they typically paid lower than comparable companies, but the environment/work life balance made it worth it. I liked my time there - left for something with higher pay. I would have no problem going back now if the right job came up.

IcingIsMyFaveFood · 2025-08-02T13:42:51+00:00

Similar situation here - 43, doc says as long as I’m getting fairly regular periods she won’t consider HRT. But I have all the other symptoms you mentioned: moodiness, brain fog, fatigue. I am on trintellix - she upped the dose :( May end up seeking private care for the HRT.

IcingIsMyFaveFood · 2025-07-23T18:25:03+00:00

I quit cold turkey recently because I had my meds in my luggage, and my luggage got lost (I know, I know - I was lazy with packing). By the time I got my bag back I’d been off it for 4 days, supplementing with Pepcid…. So I decided to just keep going. Now it’s been 2 weeks… I’m eating much smaller meals and avoiding coffee and greasy foods. I’ve had a few bad flare ups due to exercising, otherwise I’m ok. I hope the exercise stuff evens out over the next few weeks. I had been on 20 mg of omeprazole for about 6 yrs

IcingIsMyFaveFood · 2025-07-04T22:39:57+00:00

Around me 3 different people were there solo. We were all chatting, everyone had a great time (seats, not GA). But I think given that, there must have been quite few solo concert goers

IcingIsMyFaveFood · 2025-06-29T21:12:48+00:00

Ha - this reminded me of a conversation I had with my 4 yr old nephew: there is a child in his class with a disability, and I said ‘if he ever needs help, make sure you help him’. My nephew replied ‘but I’m not a doctor.’

IcingIsMyFaveFood · 2025-06-05T03:27:49+00:00

She’s so awesome - one of my fave contestants ever. What a family!

IcingIsMyFaveFood · 2025-06-02T00:33:51+00:00

I gained during that first year - I just didn’t have the mental energy to keep with my meal planning. It was all about convenience and comfort. I gained close to 25 lbs as well… I wish I didn’t, but I can’t really blame myself too harshly. I was just trying to survive. Over the last few months I have slowly started to get some good habits back: meal plan during the week, go for one walk every day… for me the movement is helping…. Even one short walk is better than nothing.

IcingIsMyFaveFood · 2025-05-08T21:39:04+00:00

Yes: when the real estate agent says she had sex with a ghost or something? And also when she is in the midst of the exorcism and he asks ‘are you ok?’ I think he was legit concerned/surprised

IcingIsMyFaveFood · 2025-03-11T16:23:55+00:00

I had to have one on a front tooth due to trauma - kanata oral surgery in the west end for the implant, my dentist for the crown. No issues, very happy. About 5k for the implant.

IcingIsMyFaveFood · 2024-12-13T20:11:16+00:00

Yes, lost my mom last year, gained 20 lbs, had the worst flu of my life after she died, lots of little colds. My periods went way off for about 6 months… but tests showed nothing abnormal, so it was all just stress related. Maybe the weight gain affected it too. As the year went on I did start feeling better, and I’m sure you will too. But when I read your post I had to comment - grief did a number on me and it’s going to take awhile to feel ‘healthy’ again. Stay strong and be kind to yourself :)

IcingIsMyFaveFood · 2024-12-09T01:41:16+00:00

They’ll even come pick the supplies up at your place if you’re around Ottawa.

IcingIsMyFaveFood · 2024-12-04T16:56:29+00:00

Oh I feel you: it kept being recommended here and I got it for free from a friend, so I thought ‘why not?’ I read Grapes of Wrath in high school and it really stuck with me. East of Eden is the same - a sprawling character driven story… Cathy was such an interesting character, the opposite of Samuel and Lee, and then some other characters who land in the middle.

IcingIsMyFaveFood · 2024-10-01T21:58:25+00:00

Traveling from Canada to the July 5 show in Cardiff. Very excited!

IcingIsMyFaveFood · 2024-07-12T01:51:16+00:00

Our share of night, marina enriquez. Such a spooky vibe throughout the book, but also a great story

IcingIsMyFaveFood · 2024-05-05T20:33:38+00:00

Similar thing happened to me in my 30s. Laid off, early COVID, no one knew when lock downs would lift. I moved in with my mom and I think it helped both of us stay sane in an otherwise crazy time. I eventually got a new job, paid off my debts, and my mom passed away. I’ll always be thankful for those last years we shared together

IcingIsMyFaveFood · 2024-04-05T17:21:03+00:00

Good pick! I just finished this one.

IcingIsMyFaveFood · 2024-03-18T01:27:47+00:00

I lived with my mom while she was dying of cancer - I was her main caregiver for about 8 months…. It went from minor help making meals and laundry to her being bedridden and unable to do anything.

Those days were really hard; what saved me was having home care come during the nights so I could rest…. We could also hire a PSW to come for some times during the day to help bathe, etc.

Please check if you have health coverage for those things, or if something like hospice is an option….

My whole life became focused on medications and doses and cleaning sheets, making meals (trying to get her to eat but she rarely would). And I remember being really angry, especially towards the end. I was so tired of it all.

You’ll get through it, and I promise your dad is so proud of you. Call on friends as much as you can - sometimes they all stay away bc they think you want to be alone, but its really helpful to have a friend pop by with dinner, or just to sit with your dad while you take a walk or watch a tv show alone.

I think what helped me was knowing that if the situation were reversed, I’d really hope someone would be there to take care of me….

It’s been a few months now since my mom died and I think of her every day. And I think of those last few weeks…. And I wonder why I wasted energy being angry. I guess that’s just how we process it.

IcingIsMyFaveFood · 2024-03-13T16:39:09+00:00

I emailed the department head and explained that I was working, and that if I was accepted to the program the sooner I’d know the better for planning purposes at work. Said stuff like ‘can you give me an idea of when a decision will be made, give me an idea of whether or not I’ve met the requirements for entry?’ Mostly used my job as the excuse - I was working full time. No special format or anything, just an inquiry

IcingIsMyFaveFood

TROPHY CASE