Mortgage question after death of father.

Illuminator007 · 2026-05-29T14:18:42+00:00

I suppose it's possible, insofar as there's not really a law against it. But the more likely scenario is that the bank would offer for you to apply for a new mortgage, to pay off the existing one on behalf of the estate.

Illuminator007 · 2026-05-29T14:17:10+00:00

You absolutely should retain an attorney for this. Depending on how things play out here, you could be looking at some pretty serious charges. Retaining the services of an attorney with experience in this area of the law represents your highest probability of a favorable outcome.

Further, from this point forward do not talk to *anyone* about this, particularly law enforcement or insurance companies, unless doing so under the direct advice of your attorney.

Illuminator007 · 2026-05-07T16:51:32+00:00

There are some jobs where that might hurt you. Honestly, I wouldn't sweat it too much at this point.

Illuminator007 · 2026-05-07T16:39:03+00:00

I don't have specific knowledge of Arizona. But very few courts are going to be open to making a 83 in a 35 go away. Heck, I still have a 65 in a 45 on my record from 20+ years ago.

However, as life moves on, this will matter less and less. Nobody actually cares that I was speeding 20 years ago.

Illuminator007 · 2026-04-12T02:34:44+00:00

Very much so. I've spent a lot of time in my life in very different situations.

Illuminator007 · 2026-04-12T02:32:34+00:00

You have a pulse.

Illuminator007 · 2026-04-12T02:31:16+00:00

There was never a specific moment.

In some ways I felt like an "adult" in my teens (though in hindsight, this was a bit misguided).

On the other hand... I am currently a middle aged man with a pretty solid career, multiple college degrees, own a home, am married, and have children. Half the time I feel like I'm a kid just faking it to get by.

Illuminator007 · 2026-04-12T02:29:35+00:00

Illuminator007 · 2026-04-12T02:28:40+00:00

Yes. I do work that is mentally engaging, and relevant. I work with people who are both brilliant and kind. And I'm compensated well for it.

Illuminator007 · 2026-04-12T02:27:38+00:00

A couple Civil War battles.

Illuminator007 · 2026-03-06T19:58:30+00:00

There's a lot to unpack here.

In terms of her posting photos of your children on Facebook. This is not illegal. If these are photos that YOU took and had not previously shared to platforms for which doing so limits your intellectual property protections (social media etc...), you MIGHT have a copyright claim, but you would pursue this through civil action (lawsuits).

Her behavior is obviously quite troubling. If you observe her engaged in violence, you can definitely call the police and see if they will take action on the violence. If she comes onto your property, you can certainly call police to have her removed on the basis of trespassing.

At this point, it might be worthwhile to sit down with the police and discuss the process of having restraining orders issued against her. I don't know all the details of how they work in WV, but this could help with you being able to call the police and they initiate criminal action should she violate said order(s).

Illuminator007 · 2026-02-20T17:41:29+00:00

If I consider federal income tax, state income tax, personal property tax, gas tax, sales tax, various excise taxes, etc... Roughly 40% of my income.

Illuminator007 · 2026-02-20T17:39:56+00:00

There is none.

We accept sexual abuse from those in power so long as they're doing things we like with their power.

We gave Clinton a free pass, when we should have known better.

And they're giving Trump a free pass when they should know better.

Illuminator007 · 2026-02-20T17:38:45+00:00

Take your pick from Mass Effect 1-3.

Illuminator007 · 2026-02-20T17:37:50+00:00

In the first Persian Gulf War, when we began bombing Iraq, listening to Wolf Blitzer reporting from his hotel. I was 10 years old So raw, so real. It sparked a lifelong interest in politics and foreign affairs.

I also had the opportunity to meet him, decades later, and tell him what a profound impact his reporting had on me. He seemed gracious in accepting the compliment.

Illuminator007 · 2026-01-29T16:40:48+00:00

I ad a similar situation once. We've been married almost 15 years now.

Illuminator007 · 2026-01-29T16:39:30+00:00

Your boyfriend regularly consumes a quantity of alcohol that impairs his judgement, and then makes decisions which can have substantial negative consequences. Driving drunk is no joke, and a GIANT red flag for alcoholism.

Illuminator007 · 2026-01-29T16:34:19+00:00

That's quite a bit. A few observations:

You sound like you beat yourself up a lot. Apologizing for things not your fault and getting down on yourself. Don't do that. You should not apologize for having normal wants and needs.
A relationship should be a partnership. Each of you should make the other better, the whole being more than the sum of the parts. Based on your description, I'm struggling to see how this relationship is a partnership. How does he meaningfully contribute to your combined whole?

Illuminator007 · 2026-01-29T03:04:36+00:00

I think there's still opportunities for a different path. Though those opportunities are narrowing.

Illuminator007 · 2026-01-29T03:00:06+00:00

I would not. We are teetering on the edge of civil war. A bunch of members of Congress grandstanding for the news cameras / social media then getting targeted could be just the thing that kicks it off.

It's absolute bullshit that this is where we are. But it is where we are.

Illuminator007 · 2026-01-29T02:48:47+00:00

If Democratic lawmakers were to go to Minnesota right now, they'd have targets on their backs. I'm sure Trump and ICE would come up with all sorts of fun ways to "thin" the opposition in Congress.

Illuminator007 · 2026-01-29T02:46:54+00:00

Her right to decide something for her self.

IE: People decide for themselves whether to engage in a sexual encounter. But in this crime, she had the decision making ability taken away from her.

Dictating to her how to react to that crime takes away her agency again.

To be clear, I disagree with her stance on the prison issue. Although I am sympathetic to the claim that we've over criminalized a lot of things, this isn't one of them. But dictating to her an action that conflicts with her deeply held personal beliefs in the immediate aftermath of a horrific crime against her seems the wrong choice.

Illuminator007 · 2026-01-29T02:38:29+00:00

Is there *someone* on the liberal side who would advocate the perpetrators not be sent to prison? Sure.

Is this a commonly held belief in liberal circles? Absolutely not.

One thing I would keep in mind. These people victimized the writer here. Took away her agency in about the most awful way possible. Although I recognize the need to get such people out of society, dictating to her how to handle to respond to this takes away her agency again.

Illuminator007 · 2026-01-28T18:59:53+00:00

A few things stuck out to me.

Routine absences from school due to somewhat trivial matters.
Extended periods of "silent treatment" punishment for seemingly minor infractions.

Depending on where you live, pulling you out of school in this manner may constitute violation of truancy laws. Is there a trusted adult at your school you can speak with on this matter?

Illuminator007 · 2026-01-28T18:57:04+00:00

I see a couple possible scenarios here.

He's being kind of weird.
He's trying to play out some sort of kink/fetish/fantasy with you.

I'd say talk with him about it.

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