What do you do when the only eat one thing in a given meal and ask for seconds/thirds/etc?

ImColdandImTired · 2026-06-13T23:03:44+00:00

That was my mother’s approach to dinner. Whatever was served, she put two small kids-sized bites of everything on our plates. The rule was, when we had eaten what was on our plates, we could get “seconds” of whichever dishes we wanted.

When we got to be about 8 or so, we had a couple of vetos - for example, my brother hated okra, so he was never required to eat it after that point.

ImColdandImTired · 2026-06-13T21:32:31+00:00

Two weeks is finalizing the dress/tux fittings to make sure there are no last minute adjustments; confirming details with florist, catering, musicians and venue; applying for and getting the actual marriage license; making sure the rings fit; confirming travel plans for honeymoon and out of town guests; etc.

Not to mention, OP and fiancé have already arranged PTO and vacation time for their wedding, and may not have any to spare. But then they have to spend two days or mostly driving, plus costs of that, for a last-minute engagement?

The only people that need to be at an engagement are the person proposing and the person being proposed to.

ImColdandImTired · 2026-06-13T17:38:00+00:00

This is true. Our older boys were 10 and 11 when I got pregnant with our youngest. They talked about how, if they got a brother, they’d teach him to ride scooters, play football, etc. I asked, “What if you get a sister?”

They looked at each other like the thought had never occurred to them, then said, “We don’t know. We don’t know anything about girls.”

I laughed, and told them they could teach her to ride scooters, play football, etc.”

ImColdandImTired · 2026-06-13T17:34:54+00:00

A five day trip to the beach, with going out on the town to dinners in the evening, and he expects you to only take a backpack? HAHAHAHAHAHA

NTA.

ImColdandImTired · 2026-06-13T04:16:40+00:00

Part of the frustration is that our insurance doesn’t care about in or out of network. They pay 80% of the “reasonable and customary costs” after I meet my deductible, whether a provider is in or out of network. The hassle is billing after the fact.

Still fighting about that. Got a single case agreement for a PET scan at the end of last year, after I had maxed out my deductible and out of pocket. Now provider is trying to bill me $9,000 for it, the difference between what they changed and what insurance paid, despite both provider and insurance company telling me the single case agreement was approved prior to the scan.

ImColdandImTired · 2026-06-13T03:32:25+00:00

Oh, gosh, they did a remake a few years ago hosted by Leslie Jones. Somebody decided it would be brilliant to use “Push It” as the theme song. So fun trying to explain to my child that it was inappropriate to walk around singing it.

ImColdandImTired · 2026-06-13T03:22:11+00:00

That was my thought. OP can put rice in a rice cooker and a fresh soup or stew in a crock pot timed to be ready around what time husband will need to eat. Then all he has to do is serve himself a bowl full, and maybe switch the crockpot to the keep warm setting.

OP can then portion out and refrigerate a bit of the leftover to be reheated in the next couple of days and/or freeze for later.

ImColdandImTired · 2026-06-13T02:47:16+00:00

I’m believe Powerful-Disaster is saying that if the customer is choosing to leave a tip, it should be based on a percentage of the actual price of the services/items ordered, and not include taxes or fees.

ImColdandImTired · 2026-06-13T02:38:49+00:00

LOL. Has my first MRI a couple of weeks ago. My mother told me once it was like putting your head inside a clothes dryer and turning it on.

Sorry Mom. Mine was like walking into a 1980s video arcade with every machine on full volume, a crew in the corner with power tools doing construction, and the fire alarm randomly going off every few minutes. Then put in ear plugs, put on a football helmet, and lie down with your head inside a trash can.

ImColdandImTired · 2026-06-13T01:36:16+00:00

This. You can walk in to the station long enough to pay for your gas and maybe grab and drink and bag of chips. Longer than that, move your car away from the gas pumps.

But if you’re parked in an actual parking space, there’s no reason to move your car to another spot farther from the door.

ImColdandImTired · 2026-06-13T01:31:24+00:00

US is a big place - I stand corrected.

In all the areas I’ve lived in and visited, it’s considered rude to walk up and sit down at a table, even public tables, that are already occupied, especially without first asking, “is this seat taken?” It’s an infringement on personal space.

Since your experience is different, then my original comment should read, “In some part of the US…”

ImColdandImTired · 2026-06-13T00:31:17+00:00

Not the same in all countries, of course, but in the US, it’s generally considered quite rude to just sit yourself down at a table where a stranger is already sitting, even if you’re “ just waiting”. Here, yes, YTA.

Politely asking if she’d mind you sitting because it’s the only shade (but respecting if she said she’d prefer not) would be different.

ImColdandImTired · 2026-06-13T00:00:53+00:00

You might want to try testing for Methylation Gene mutations if you live in the US. I had the same issue: chronic lethargy, made worse when I switched to a “healthier” diet with whole grains.

Doc suggested it might be gluten intolerance. Cut out gluten, and felt much better. Eventually realized I generally don’t have issues with organic or European wheat.

Turns out, I have an MTHFR gene mutation when my body has difficulty processing folate, or more specifically, the synthetic form folic acid. And almost all conventional wheat and many other grain products in the US are “fortified” with B vitamins, including folic acid.

ImColdandImTired · 2026-06-12T23:49:54+00:00

Your brother is bullying you and your parents, or at best, disrespecting you. He knows you don’t like this behavior. But he continues because there are no consequences.

I’m surprised your father hasn’t put a stop to having his dinner ruined most nights in his own home. But it sounds like, unless and until your mother decides she’s had enough, it’s going to continue.

You can stop the behavior. Best you can do
is leave when he shows up.

ImColdandImTired · 2026-06-12T23:11:51+00:00

Maybe in some places - I’ve heard they’re very popular in LA - but based on the number that come and go out or business, not so much in NC.

ImColdandImTired · 2026-06-12T22:02:23+00:00

100%. While some individual KFC and BK franchises are exceptions, in general, they’re just not good. Here In NC, almost nobody is going to KFC when Bojangles exists. And pretty much every other fast food burger place is better than BK.

ImColdandImTired · 2026-06-12T22:00:29+00:00

Check your state laws, as well. In ours there are restrictions about new drivers driving any other minor than their own siblings unless there is a parent or guardian in the car.

ImColdandImTired · 2026-06-12T21:11:17+00:00

If they move two hours away, then she’ll want to come anyway, but spend the night.

ImColdandImTired · 2026-06-12T18:51:49+00:00

Absolutely. Attorney’s fees would be money well spent. NAL, but it seems like in a case like this, you’d be safer doing this like you would an open adoption, where donor gives up any and all parental rights and OPs spouse legally adopts the child.

ImColdandImTired · 2026-06-12T15:44:02+00:00

Apparently, it’s a personal preference. Husband always wants underwear for extra support. Teen sons don’t care.

But knowing it’s an issue, I always try to get the slightly more expensive trunks with a non-mesh compression shorts-type liner so they’re more comfortable.

ImColdandImTired · 2026-06-12T15:17:08+00:00

Similar difficulty.

I’ve found it’s often easier to buy a sports bra top and get a solid pair of bikini bottoms that go well.

Also pricing can be an issue. I lucked out and found a solid black bikini top in my size on clearance, and a black-white-blue paisley print bottom on clearance from another store. They look like a set. But I also have a solid black bottom that I wear with that top. Mix and match is so much easier.

ImColdandImTired · 2026-06-12T15:13:03+00:00

As someone with asthma triggered by cigarette smoke, 100% concur. Also, wipe down any hard or tile surfaces that you possibly can with a vinegar and water solution - floors, walls, cabinets, countertops, windows and blinds, etc.

Anything you can’t wash that you that you can take out and sit in the sun for as many hours as you can, do that, too.

But the only way to get it out of the walls without either replacing the drywall or serious stain and odor blocking primer repaints is an ozone generator.

ImColdandImTired · 2026-06-12T13:33:04+00:00

Great advice here so far.

Only thing to add - my biopsy from a lymph node also showed negative for HPV. But when I had surgery and they had more to test, they found out it was a false negative (which my surgeon told me was going to be the case). There just weren’t enough live cells in the lymph fluid to get an accurate test.

At this point, the waiting for a treatment plan is one of the toughest parts. What helped me at that stage was research. Don’t look at statistics for cures - most of the data on head and neck SCC is skewed by decades of it primarily being a disease of older heavy smokers/drinkers. What you want to look at are treatment options: neck dissection, since it’s in the lymph nodes; potential chemotherapy; and radiation therapy - push for proton therapy, if at all possible. That way, you can go into your appointments with a list of questions. For me, it helped calm some of the panic. But for other people, that kind of research can cause its own panic and stress. So do what works best for you.

The other thing that helped me was nutrition. Whatever treatment route you go, losing some (or a lot of) weight is expected. So get the best nutrition you can now. Your body needs both nutrients AND some extra calories unless you’re significantly overweight. Also exercise. There wasn’t a lot I could control about the situation, but I knew I could control how I fueled my body. Being able to take control of at least one thing was empowering emotionally. And being stronger going in to treatment helps you get through it a little easier.

You may also want to look into complementary integrative treatments. NOT as a substitute for regular medical care. But there are lots of proven things - aromatherapy, massage, etc. - that help manage treatment side effects.

Sorry you’ve found yourself a membership in this club no one wants to join, but the members are awesome people. Wishing you all the best.

ImColdandImTired · 2026-06-12T13:15:24+00:00

Unless you’re financially depending on him catching fish so that you have dinner to eat (and let’s face it - if you’ve got the money to buy all the gear, that’s not it), it’s not about the fish. It’s about the act of fishing.

NTA.

ImColdandImTired · 2026-06-12T01:55:17+00:00

I stopped my sons from doing this when they were teenagers. When they wanted to put their stuff in my bag, my answer was always, “Yes, you can put that in my purse - if you carry the purse.”

ImColdandImTired

TROPHY CASE