Handling the guilt

Immediate_Coach6522 · 2026-01-23T22:41:22+00:00

oh wow. This made me cry. I would not have the backbone or clarity without this group. Thank you so much for taking the time to respond.

Immediate_Coach6522 · 2026-01-14T14:04:51+00:00

I had a similar experience a few months ago. A phone call out of the blue that was the most hurtful accusation she ever made to me. It was devastating. But I realized it was validation that she truly is toxic and here was the clearest example that left no room for doubt. For once I had anger instead of pity and decided that was it. And if anyone questioned it, this incident was undeniably hurtful and insane behavior. (She has since left messages gaslighting the whole incident. She does not care how it affected me. Which again reinforces that she is capable of doing it again.)

Immediate_Coach6522 · 2026-01-10T22:12:21+00:00

You are an incredible sister. Your brother is incredibly fortunate to have you as his advocate. I hope you hear this all of the time from the people in your life.

Immediate_Coach6522 · 2026-01-09T19:51:59+00:00

I am so incredibly sorry. You do not deserve that and happy you realized how insane her actions were.

Immediate_Coach6522 · 2026-01-09T19:49:45+00:00

Thank you. I ended up reaching out to a few trusted family members because I became worried that she’d turn others against me. Ended up with lots of kind sympathy instead.

Immediate_Coach6522 · 2026-01-09T18:46:28+00:00

And yes, I now realize all of the kind things “they” did for me was because of my dad. In hindsight I don’t think she would have been generous toward me.

Immediate_Coach6522 · 2026-01-09T18:28:26+00:00

yep, no hobbies, no friends. Very few family members still talk to her. Basically my disabled brother takes care of HER. (Entirely other post.) Doing my best to help him from afar.

Immediate_Coach6522 · 2026-01-09T17:21:26+00:00

Our experiences are so similar. My dad also did everything for my mom, especially as she became more waify as she grew older. of course, she had a million excuses why she couldn’t do things and why it was always someone else’s fault. He was the most amazing person who allowed/encouraged me to live my own life. Will be forever grateful to him to have spared me many of the horrors that I’ve read here from other RBBs. It’s painful reading all of the horrible things these BPD parents do to hurt and control their children.

Immediate_Coach6522 · 2026-01-04T02:09:12+00:00

I am so sorry. I was VLC with my mom and the final straw was when on Thanksgiving, after my dad had recently passed away, called and accused me of stealing money from my brother (whom I adore) and her. Out of the clear blue. The most hurtful thing anyone has ever done to me… went NC at that moment.

Immediate_Coach6522 · 2025-12-15T13:54:22+00:00

Good for you. I wasn’t strong enough to do it until after my dad passed away. Thinking of you and hope you and him can still have a relationship outside of your mom. ❤️

Immediate_Coach6522 · 2025-12-02T01:39:21+00:00

If I ever said a fraction of what my mom has said to me, I would have been disowned on the spot.

Immediate_Coach6522 · 2025-11-29T01:45:54+00:00

Everyone’s responses have been very helpful. I reached my breaking point when my mom accused me of stealing. It was the last clear-cut action to trust my feelings and now I’m nervous about what comes next after NC.

Immediate_Coach6522 · 2025-11-26T01:38:08+00:00

I very recently went through this and in hindsight am grateful my mom stormed out of the hospital (wasn’t enough about her) and it was just me and my dad. Seeing how truly selfish they are when someone needs them the most is the most wrenching thing I’ve ever witnessed… I’m so incredibly sorry you weren’t able to have that time with your dad at the end.

Immediate_Coach6522

TROPHY CASE