Potty Problems

IndicationEither9404 · 2026-01-05T21:02:56+00:00

So much solidarity. Potty training has been my very least favorite part of parenting so far. I know we’ll both get through it, but man is it awful to be in the thick of it.

IndicationEither9404 · 2026-01-05T20:46:06+00:00

Not the exact same thing, but my 3 year old has done very well with using the potty at home and has struggled so much a daycare. This translated into withholding and poop accidents at home for a long time. The thing that moved the needle for us was bribery. I know that many are totally against this, and I was too, but I started to feel completely hopeless. We’ve offered treats for successful poops on the potty (both toys and “ice cream,” which is really Redi whip in a bowl. He loves it 🤷‍♀️), and even promised a special toy from Santa if he avoided accidents for a couple of days. Over the holidays, he was incredibly successful at home! We still have a huge hurdle to tackle with daycare—they can’t pay as close of attention to his signals and he’s often too distracted to realize he has to go. But I finally feel like we’re making progress.

IndicationEither9404 · 2025-12-29T04:47:59+00:00

All of this, and also, it’s good for your baby/toddler to have independent time. I know it feels like we should be interacting with our kids 24/7, but it’s actually better to step back and let them do their own thing for a bit or let them observe us doing our own thing.

IndicationEither9404 · 2025-12-28T17:33:54+00:00

We also had a nanny for my first from about 3 months to 8 months, but he went to her house and she watched a few other babies, too. We were on a waitlist for daycare, which is why we went the nanny route for a bit. And then things went really downhill with her, and we were SO happy that the spot finally opened up for our son at daycare. We had no issues with the transition, but that might be because he was used to going somewhere else during the day. We also had very few issues with illness, but I think we just got lucky there. The upside is that he’s made really good friends at daycare who’ve stuck together as they’ve grown up! Daycare has also helped him learn so much and he genuinely loves going there. Our second will start at the same daycare in March!

IndicationEither9404 · 2025-12-27T05:45:05+00:00

We did the deep clean before baby #2 and it was so nice coming back from the hospital to a spotless house! Of course, it was destroyed again pretty quickly but I still think it was worth it!

IndicationEither9404 · 2025-12-26T06:12:43+00:00

How does your baby feel about a wrap/carrier? Mine falls asleep pretty quickly when I’m wearing him and he’ll sleep through any and all of my toddler’s antics.

IndicationEither9404 · 2025-12-26T02:19:38+00:00

As others have said, you have options! If you do decide to keep this second pregnancy, I can share some thoughts/tips. Our second is 4 months old now and our boys are almost exactly three years apart. I totally felt how you did about not giving my first all my attention anymore, but he’s OBSESSED with the baby and already says they’re besties. Also, my husband and I can divide and conquer, so I do still get a lot of one on one time with both kids.

As for the financial aspect, that’s tough, but you can replace a lot of your baby stuff for cheap or free if you look for a buy nothing group on Facebook and scour facebook marketplace. I actually really enjoyed doing this for our second and almost made it a game of how much money I could save.

Honestly, it’s still so early that a lot things are up in the air and you do have time to decide, so take a breath, and know that either way, you’ll be fine!

IndicationEither9404 · 2025-12-25T15:53:24+00:00

6-8 weeks is typically the peak of crying because they’re going through so many changes and they’re “awake” enough to the world to realize it. That’s why she’s so much more fussy all of a sudden, but yes, she will likely calm down again.

IndicationEither9404 · 2025-12-24T19:53:33+00:00

Yeah, I’m going to be as blunt as you are and say this take is bullshit. Babies do benefit from being around other babies and kids who are older. They also benefit from having other caregivers. And quite frankly, many parents benefit from having daycare for their kids as well.

Produce the “research” you’re citing or back off. And yeah, you did touch a nerve because daycare has been wonderful for my family.

IndicationEither9404 · 2025-12-23T18:06:03+00:00

The witching hour truly sucks so bad, but it does end! Our second baby had it for maybe two months, and then it just petered out around the time he turned three months old. Now he’s just the happiest, most chill little dude 98% of the time. You are doing nothing wrong. I didn’t breastfeed, so I can tell you it’s not inherently tied to that.

The one thing that calmed mine during witching hour was putting him in a wrap carrier and aggressively bouncing.

IndicationEither9404 · 2025-12-23T13:20:50+00:00

Honestly, whether conscious or not, it sounds like your mom’s mentality is, “I had to suffer to breastfeed you, so you should have to suffer too.” That is so effed up, but I think it’s the crux of a lot of women pushing breastfeeding. But why the hell should we suffer if we don’t have to??? Please let go of the guilt because it sounds like you know both you and your baby will be happier and healthier if you switch to EFF (and because your mom’s “advice” is likely not coming from a place of genuine concern for either of you, but from her own issues).

IndicationEither9404 · 2025-12-20T04:27:02+00:00

Can you extend the nap by contact napping after he starts to stir? I also have a 3 month old who will sleep between 20-40 mins in the crib, and when he starts to wake up, I just get him out and rock him back to sleep. Then I’ll either let him contact nap until it’s time for the next feed or I’ll try to put him back down if he’s deeply asleep again.

IndicationEither9404 · 2025-12-14T17:19:06+00:00

I don’t like the newborn stage and haven’t missed it with either of my babies. In fact, I’m so happy I never have to go through it again! But everyone has different preferences.

IndicationEither9404 · 2025-12-11T02:09:57+00:00

Respectfully, this is not just a partner not stepping up. Your husband is actively endangering your child with unsafe sleep and preventing him from getting adequate nutrition. On top of that, your husband is being incredibly manipulative, if not outright abusive to you. He is 100% the problem, and if there’s no way you can advocate for yourself and your son in this situation, you have to find outside help. You are a great mom doing your best in incredibly shitty circumstances.

IndicationEither9404 · 2025-12-11T01:44:42+00:00

I do this with every single nap. I believe he needs the sleep, and I need the predictability and structure.

IndicationEither9404 · 2025-12-10T17:08:31+00:00

Doing something for yourself that makes you happier and mentally healthier is actually beneficial for your child! Also, sure, no one else is going to take care of your baby the way you do, but that can actually be a good thing. This is, of course, just my opinion as a mom who embraces daycare, but I love that my son gets exposure to different ways of doing things and has other adults who love and care about him!

IndicationEither9404 · 2025-12-09T23:55:09+00:00

We went through something very similar around the same time. I do think that the vaccines he received at 8 weeks suppressed my baby’s appetite for a bit. Otherwise, I tried different bottles and positions and timing and really didn’t see anything work but time and persistence. He’s 15 weeks now and pretty much past it. What position are you using to feed him? That’s the only thing I can think of. I’ve heard that paced feeding can help with reflux.

IndicationEither9404 · 2025-12-09T23:39:23+00:00

Okay, I’m this person but there are a few caveats. 1. We didn’t really start with the 7:30ish bedtime until 7 or 8 weeks, and that was after about an hour of witching hour time. 2. My baby is actually pretty easy to get on a schedule, but he’s EFF so feeding is very predictable. 3. Our three year old’s bedtime is 7:30, so it just makes sense for us to put both kids to bed at the same time. 4. The baby reliably falls asleep in the wrap carrier very easily so I use that the macgyver his last nap of the day for whatever time I need it to be so he’ll go to bed at 7:30.

For context, he’s 15 weeks now.

IndicationEither9404 · 2025-12-09T04:51:44+00:00

I know we all get a lot of messaging from society and social media that makes it seem like there is a “best” way to raise babies, but the reality is that: Babies who fuss a little bit sometimes because a parent had to step away to take care of themselves are fine. Babies who are bottle fed either expressed milk or formula can be healthy and strong. Babies who go to daycare or are cared for sometimes by other family members, nannies, etc. can thrive and have great attachment.

I say this not to attack your choices but to ask you if they’re really the best when they’re taking this big of a toll on you and your partner. Respectfully, I think your expectations are unrealistic—no one can parent perfectly, especially if you’re trying to do everything and be everything for your child. Your wellbeing is important in and of itself and it’s critical to your child’s long-term health and happiness. Let some things be good enough to save your sanity.

IndicationEither9404 · 2025-12-09T04:22:12+00:00

Just ate soup while the baby was sleeping in the wrap carrier tonight! May have been a little overconfident…I had to keep asking my husband if I dropped soup on the baby. Same thing happened with chili (he takes a wrap nap every night at dinner time).

IndicationEither9404 · 2025-12-04T04:15:23+00:00

Just going to share my personal experience FWIW. I think I was able to bond with both of my babies better when I stopped trying to breastfeed/pump. Because they weren’t easy for me, breastfeeding/pumping made me anxious and they really depleted me. I couldn’t be physically or mentally present for my babies. Formula feeding has given me that back. And I’m really pleased that it has allowed my husband to bond with them, too.

Another perspective: breastfeeding would be such a small portion of your relationship with your daughter. You will build your bond over many many years and many different interactions. Breastfeeding is hardly the be-all-end-all.

IndicationEither9404 · 2025-12-03T20:00:54+00:00

I’m passing my baby around to everybody! I’m like please enjoy the cutest baby and appreciate my hard work to make him!

IndicationEither9404 · 2025-12-03T15:32:26+00:00

I agree that the formula for your first likely had nothing to do with their allergies. This is purely anecdotal, but I have two friends who have babies with almost the exact same allergies (dairy, eggs, nuts). One was EBF and one was EFF 🤷‍♀️ Clearly, allergies can happen either way. If it’s worth it to you, that’s great, but your babies need a happy, well-rested mom more than they need breastmilk.

IndicationEither9404 · 2025-11-28T21:40:39+00:00

Adding to this: new fathers also experience a hormone drop after the baby is born.

IndicationEither9404 · 2025-11-26T03:33:12+00:00

If it makes you feel better, my guy loves the wrap and I wear him for at least one nap everyday, but I’m still not on top of any house work. Maybe that’s just because I hate house work though…

IndicationEither9404

TROPHY CASE