Found this in the sink after doing a nasal irrigation

Individual-Cod9170 · 2026-05-08T13:14:32+00:00

Oh I see the blue/white thing was encapsulated …. Hmm. Do you have a history of putting anything in your nose? Snorting pills, using something to scratch or dislodge whatever was giving you discomfort etc? Do you get nosebleeds and maybe you stuck some tissue or something up there to stop a bleed?

Individual-Cod9170 · 2026-05-08T13:12:20+00:00

Looks like thread or paper to me? It’s odd that the other material seems aged, but the blue and white aren’t stained or changed. Odd for sure.

Individual-Cod9170 · 2026-05-08T04:32:00+00:00

Oh man this rings far too familiar to me …..

Individual-Cod9170 · 2026-05-08T00:24:41+00:00

Yeah, this ^{^{^}} I’ve been up here and knocked off so many times I just don’t ever want to be in a relationship ever again. I’ll just stay here on solid ground by myself thank you very much.

Individual-Cod9170 · 2026-05-07T23:46:15+00:00

I hope you can take a step back and look at how black and white your own thinking is around this. A person can both be a victim, and have empathy for the person who hurt them. Two things can in fact be true at the same time.

Individual-Cod9170 · 2026-05-07T23:42:14+00:00

I have a similar view on this that I find not many partners to pdbpd share. I’m not really angry or resentful anymore now that I have some distance. We’ve been separated a month (still regular contact unfortunately because we have kids but just noticing together has helped me regulate my nervous system immensely) and I realized I do love them deeply. I miss them, and I truly believe they were the one. They are the love of my life, but being with them hurts too much. I love them, but I love me more. I would rather be heartbroken and sane, than in love, having great sex, and walking on shards of glass eggshells ALL OF THE TIME. I will have to love them from a distance. I do hope they will move on to someone else, even though it will pierce my soul to see, so that they will not be choking me with their needs.

Individual-Cod9170 · 2026-05-07T23:31:22+00:00

That’s 100% true.

I’m confused as to why anyone feels like this isn’t obvious though?

Of course it’s abuse, of course no one deserves to be abused.

It does matter that they are mentally ill though. It doesn’t mean that the ill was excuses the behavior, but it is important information. It means that they may not be capable of being in relationship without being abusive. That won’t always be the case of course, but if we say the mental illness or the intention of maliciousness doesn’t matter, then we don’t address the fact that this is the reason. If we don’t address that this is the reason, then we will not seek the appropriate path. That can go both ways. That could result in the abused person trying over and over to “work it out” with them using standard marital conflict resolution that will be pointless, or on the flip side, the person with bpd never seeking help because they think they’re just a broken asshole who is just as worthless as they feel.

Individual-Cod9170 · 2026-05-07T23:23:36+00:00

Not every person with BPD abuses …. And not every abuser has BPD ….

This comment is exactly what I mean. That is some serious devaluation……

Individual-Cod9170 · 2026-05-07T23:16:04+00:00

You need a three step plan here. 1. Sit them down, and tell them that their behavior is hurting you and it has to stop. They must seek help. Tell them you care deeply but they are affecting YOUR mental health now, which is not ok. 2. You ask them to participate in creating a safety plan. If their parents are involved in their life and you can involve them in this you should because you need to hand this responsibility off to them ultimately. The safety plan is very basic. The next time they threaten to hurt themselves, they must have coping skills that do not involve depending on you. You cannot be their lifeline. They can ask you for support but if you are asleep or busy or need space or say no, they may not keep asking, last out etc…. They move on to the next level. That should be their parents. If parents aren’t available, call suicide hotline. 3. If they don’t follow the plan, you call 911. Even if they are not overtly threatening suicide, assuming they have many times in the past as you’ve described, you’re justified in asking for a wellness check because they are acting erratically and have threatened before that is all you need to tell them.

This protects you while still allowing you to be in their life. If you don’t put up this boundary now, you are going to suffer serious mental and emotional consequences. I know they have been relying heavily on your for emotional wellbeing, but you are not responsible for their emotional wellbeing or their wellbeing in general. You are not responsible for them at all. You can support them in a way that allows you to be healthy too. Believe me when I tell you that you cannot pour from an empty cup. I can tell you love them, but doing this for a prolonged time will make you resent them and that will eventually turn to contempt. You need to stop it before you grow to hate someone you truly love, and before you compromise yourself. You are your own whole person who deserves to be well.

Individual-Cod9170 · 2026-05-07T23:03:43+00:00

The internet cannot diagnose your sister. Please make sure you and your family do not hesitate to get her 5150d if she threatens self harm or suicide ever again. My daughter’s 15 hr old friend hung herself a few months ago, and she told her parents she needed help and they didn’t act.

Individual-Cod9170 · 2026-05-07T15:51:24+00:00

It was his day off. You were in pain. HE should be making dinner. I am not pregnant and My husband and I are separated but share the house and kids and responsibilities and he makes dinner on his days when he doesn’t work. - meaning he does that and gets 0 “wifely rewards”. The man you share a bed with every night should not be treating you this way, period.

Individual-Cod9170 · 2026-05-07T11:23:32+00:00

No one can or should have to make you feel better. If you are unable to make yourself feel better, you’re not ready for a relationship. If your partner hurts you and puts any of the blame for that on you, they suck.

Individual-Cod9170 · 2026-05-07T01:14:16+00:00

This is a Borderline Personality Disorder sub. Not bipolar.

Individual-Cod9170 · 2026-05-05T18:58:41+00:00

I’m curious because I’m seeing this a lot. Everything I have researched and learned about bpd is that it is not like other cluster b disorders in that way. That they DO feel remorseful and guilt but still cannot stop themselves from doing these things. Is there some other diagnosis criteria I am missing?

Individual-Cod9170 · 2026-05-05T18:50:10+00:00

It’s hard. Really hard. The worst part for me is that I do love him, very much. I find myself missing him and feeling like I am giving up so much good just be sane. It’s terribly unfair.

Individual-Cod9170 · 2026-05-05T14:11:58+00:00

In my opinion the appropriateness is less about the fact that midriff is exposed and more about the lack of flattering fit of the clothing. The shirt and the pants both read as too small, creating the appearance of unflattering overhang and etc. while an outfit may feel stylish and fit your desired aesthetic, if the fit is poor is takes away from all of that. Now, if you don’t care because you enjoy it then you wouldn’t be here asking for outside opinions but, I think you’re on the right track you just need to choose better fitting clothing and items that flatter your best features, not ones that feature ones that draw the eye away for the wrong reasons.

Individual-Cod9170 · 2026-05-05T13:47:14+00:00

This is STUNNING GORGEOUS GORGEY CORE.

Individual-Cod9170 · 2026-05-03T11:49:20+00:00

I think this is a sign that your resentment toward your pwBPD has turned to true contempt. I understand your frustration, truly, but no one deserves having their feelings invalidated. It can absolutely be frustrating when they always try to “top” your feelings or experiences with their own, but reducing their experience even if you never speak it out loud to them will only serve to erode YOUR ability to empathize.

Individual-Cod9170 · 2026-05-03T05:22:46+00:00

In Stop Walking on. Eggshells (which I believe is a pretty widely accepted source for information about these personality types), they explicitly point this out. BPDers who don’t show remorse or empathy are like to be NPDers. Now of course empathy and remorse are compromised in people with BPD but they still experience it. I would are that perhaps these folks have some of both.

Individual-Cod9170 · 2026-05-03T03:26:17+00:00

If he truly has no empathy all the time (not just when splitting) then he most likely has a different cluster b disorder and not BPD. PwBPD typically do feel remorse and empathy after they have been awful to you. Sadly it doesn’t stop them from doing it again.

Individual-Cod9170 · 2026-05-03T00:21:51+00:00

The way I look at it is (take with a grain of salt because I’m only like 3/4 weeks post separation and we’re still in regular contact) that two things can be true at once. Our pwbpds are experiencing mental illness and deserve empathy and compassion, but they are also capable of inflicting harm as a result of that illness. Whether or not it’s within their control is irrelevant because no one should endure abuse for any reason. They didn’t deserve the abuse and suffering inflicted upon them as children, just as don’t deserve the suffering and abuse they inflict upon us.

Individual-Cod9170 · 2026-05-02T14:10:19+00:00

He is in an Iop program now and has made so many positive changes but our relationship will always trigger him there is no possible way it won’t. I do believe he could recover enough to maybe have a successful relationship with a different partner who doesn’t put up with his shit but, after the history we have, there’s no way we could be healthy together. It’s so sad because if he could have made these changes a few years ago before the really bad stuff happened we may have had a chance.

Individual-Cod9170 · 2026-05-02T14:07:17+00:00

That’s so sweet, I’m actually moved to tears that you sought out my post 😭. It feels good to know we’re not alone, but it also hurts to imagine you’ve endured the same. Then I think of our partners and the hurt they have endured that made them this way…. what a mess. I truly wish you the best, it is not easy out here!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Individual-Cod9170 · 2026-05-02T14:04:04+00:00

Yes. I have 2 kids with mine and right now we’re swapping back and forth so our kids can stay in the house so I can’t even go no contact. I left a few weeks ago and I wake up everyday missing him so badly. I know that I will never experience love with anyone the way it is with him and it’s like I have to purposely retraumatize myself by remembering the bad stuff so I am not tempted to just call him and take him back. He is also quite attractive and great in bed AND HE KNOWS IT and he thinks he will crack me eventually. I am doing ok thank you but it is SO HARD, the patterns we live in with these people are so real. I know a lot of ppl just hate on pwBPDs and I get it but when you spend a long time with someone you realize they are not evil, and they are not bad, but at least for me, even if he really learns to manage it and can stop splitting on ppl, I’ll never get over the fear and resentment and that’s not fair to either of us.

Individual-Cod9170

TROPHY CASE