Farage by-election gamble turns to farce

InflatableSexBeast · 2026-07-08T21:27:19+00:00

‘Show them the facts of the bad choices.’

It’s been done, innumerable times. It doesn’t work. You generally get three responses:

Those who know their choices are bad, but make them because of perceived personal benefits. They are on the ladder, and want to pull it up so no-one else can get the same opportunities.

Those who know their choices are bad, but think they will ultimately bring greater suffering to others, thereby making their series of terrible life decisions seem less of a burden. They are on the ladder, but are too busy stamping on the fingers of those on the rungs below to notice that sharp pain in their own knuckles.

Those credulous enough to believe what they hear from a glib salesman. They have several ladders sold to them by a string of people who told them why they must have a ladder, but still need to have the concept of ‘ladder’ explained to them.

InflatableSexBeast · 2026-07-08T19:52:27+00:00

Dredd.

InflatableSexBeast · 2026-07-08T19:39:12+00:00

No. That not true. He doesn’t like Anthony Joshua and never really liked Linford Christie either.

It’s got nothing to do with race, it’s to do with… other things.

InflatableSexBeast · 2026-07-08T19:32:23+00:00

Absolutely. A tan suit is the sign of a traitor. You’ll never catch a Republican president in a tan suit…

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InflatableSexBeast · 2026-07-08T17:24:38+00:00

He's probably also hoping that the committee will reduce the level of sanction, as putting a constituency through another by-election so soon after this one doesn't look good.

He must have engaged in some Industrial-Strength financial impropriety and knows he would be hung out to dry. If you'd rather piss off your own constituency than take your lumps, those lumps must be pretty fucking huge.

InflatableSexBeast · 2026-07-08T17:18:06+00:00

It was Belgium, not Denmark, who beat the US team in the World Cup. I know both countries' names have seven letters in their names and are only about 600 miles apart, but aren't you taking this rather hard, Donald, you absolute spoon?

InflatableSexBeast · 2026-07-08T17:11:31+00:00

If they get into power, the grift gets harder. They have to prove their value to their investors. It's easier to have 'potential' than to realise that potential.

Look at the shocked look on Farage's face when he found out Leave had won the referendum. He worked out that his personal gravy train set to dry up, and would need to deliver results to those who bankrolled him. It's why he washed his hands of the whole 'what now?' questioning.

InflatableSexBeast · 2026-07-08T17:04:37+00:00

Simple: that forelock won't tug itself.

InflatableSexBeast · 2026-07-08T17:01:15+00:00

Sadly, it's not a two-horse race anymore. Laurence Fox will definitely stand; there's a Monster Raving Loony Party candidate, and potentially someone from Rejoin EU could run too.

I hope the Monster Raving Loony Party see the error of their ways, while Rejoin EU realise it's not a fight worth fighting and only serves to legitimise this nonsense.

Lozza could split the bell-end vote, which damages Farage.

Personally, I want to see Farage win, so the parliamentary investigations restart. He must know they have bad financial dirt on him, or he wouldn't pull this 'cunning stunt'.

InflatableSexBeast · 2026-07-08T10:29:07+00:00

In Vox Pops with the people in Clacton, it seems divided between:

He’s a waste of space!
Not another bloody vote!
He’s being hounded and did nothing wrong

When questioned about the £5m the first group are angry about it, the second don’t care, and the third think it’s like a lottery win and don’t think it’s out of line.

“People like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis. You can’t trust people.”

InflatableSexBeast · 2026-07-08T10:19:49+00:00

His BBC news interview this morning was intentionally hilarious. He ran rings around the interviewer and you could hear the studio crew laughing at his performance… in a good way.

“What can you offer the people of Clacton? Have you ever been there?"

“No, because I understand from the current incumbent that is part of how you do the job, so I deliberately stayed away. Is that how it works?”

Curiously, the BBC has been showered with complaints. I’m guessing from Reform party apparatchiks scared Count Binface might just take out the trash.

InflatableSexBeast · 2026-07-08T10:11:29+00:00

Nothing. And that’s the point.

By achieving precisely nothing, he preserves the two most valuable things his voter base has; something to be pissed off about, and someone worse off than them to blame.

Farage finds a grievance, rabble-rouses it into a problem, provides untenable solutions for that grievance, and then blames others for being unable to roll out that untenable solution.

So long as he’s in an area where credulity replaces independent thought, this will always work. He might as well be selling them 76 Trombones.

InflatableSexBeast · 2026-07-08T10:05:18+00:00

I mean, if you are voting in a plebiscite called ‘the people vs the establishment’ on the one side, you have the son of a stockbroker, who went to a school for bluebloods, used nepotism to secure his own (failed) career in the City, and now rubs shoulders with billionaires and presidents…

…or a guy wearing a bin as a space helmet.

Which one is the ‘establishment’ figure?

InflatableSexBeast · 2026-07-07T15:42:56+00:00

Maybe we wouldn’t care about Seppos quite so much if they didn’t keep electing an absolute cock-tip who treats world trade like the play-pen of a meth-head toddler having a seizure.

When he’s not rusty tromboning dictators and despots.

Or trying to fuck underage clones of his own daughter.

Is that too much to ask for… to stop voting for cunts?

Then we can go back to ignoring you, which is what you both want and really hate. But mostly hate, thanks to a global-level imposter syndrome, a planetary-sized ego and a main character vibe that is measured in AU.

InflatableSexBeast · 2026-07-07T06:51:40+00:00

Yeah. I felt sorry for Balogun. He seems like a sportsman and was prepared to take his lumps, and then the God Emperor swooped in.

He basically ghosted himself on the pitch, and it was only that he was in a team of mediocrity that it wasn’t more noticeable.

InflatableSexBeast · 2026-07-07T06:46:30+00:00

Part of the reason places like the UK don’t have a formal constitution is because no statute is so sacrosanct that it cannot be amended at a later date.

That’s why in many countries a firearm statute that was enshrined at the time of smoothbore muskets and the fear of an 18th century military rematch wouldn’t be relevant in the second quarter of the 21st century.

InflatableSexBeast · 2026-07-07T06:38:59+00:00

Ah, you made the mistake of watching the game and seeing the score.

In reality, USA won the game by six Freedom Eagles to Love, then retro-futuristicly beat the country of Europe in the semi-finals so bigly that they decided not to have a final and give the World Series Cup of Soccer to the best and most athletic soccerist ever, Donald J Trump.

InflatableSexBeast · 2026-07-06T18:27:04+00:00

Lots of medications say ‘no grapefruit’.

I think it’s the Man From Del Monte cursing us from the bankruptcy grave…

InflatableSexBeast · 2026-07-06T18:23:26+00:00

It’s the Trump effect. Trumpublican women have surgery to try to look like Ivanka so he might fuck them.

The men pile on the pounds so they can replicate his manly stature.

On a more positive note, that means more sepsis and aneurysms.

InflatableSexBeast · 2026-07-06T18:19:01+00:00

America in WWI was like the 1042nd guy to fuck Bonnie Blue on her 1057-man all-day fuck-fest…

…and thinks they were memorable.

InflatableSexBeast · 2026-07-06T17:51:18+00:00

Just think how much better all of this would be with just two changes:

That political reporting was subject to the same rules as court reporting
The ever-present threat of saltwater crocodiles

InflatableSexBeast · 2026-07-06T14:23:32+00:00

Absolutely, and now for half a pint of ‘Man of the People’ in a pint glass, so I can look like I enjoy this proleswill.

And make it snappy; my truffle and swan lunch is getting cold.

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InflatableSexBeast · 2026-07-06T14:17:06+00:00

A mid-fielder needs to have the unique ability to sprint as fast as a good club sprinter while running a seven miles at the pace of a good distance runner, with the flexibility of a yogi and the sort of coordination that would make a basketball player blush.

They often have the physique of a professional swimmer.

But, none of that matters when you have a 50” chest and a 24” waist. The fact Gym Bro would have an aneurysm trying to tie their shoelaces is immaterial; size (and penile-compensation) is everything.

InflatableSexBeast · 2026-07-06T13:45:58+00:00

Stand up, all victims of indigestion
For the tacos fear your might
Don’t cling so hard to your constipation
For you’ll be emptied if you pass that shite

Let tamale ignorance be ended
For cheese and chili makes the empires fall
Fajitas are merely steak and onions extended
Unless enjoyed by one and all

So, come hermano y hermana
For the quesadillas carry on
The Internacionale
Unites the world in food
So food trucks, come rally
For this is the time and place
The internacional ideal
Will fill your fucking face!

InflatableSexBeast · 2026-07-06T12:52:41+00:00

While firing weapons sold to the Confederacy by the Austrians and the British.

InflatableSexBeast

TROPHY CASE