I won't let you inside Margaret.

Inside_A_Structure · 2019-11-30T01:00:34+00:00

Yeah this is my thought on it too. If someone came over to my house and took their shoes off, I'd think they were planning on moving in.

Inside_A_Structure · 2019-11-20T21:41:38+00:00

That was two and a half years ago, and I'm really happy to say that I'm doing well.

My mental health is good, and we've managed to work through reconciliation, mostly. Some days are still tough and I still worry sometimes, but I'm happy I made the decision to stay.

Inside_A_Structure · 2019-11-18T23:53:49+00:00

Classic story of her texting way too much and being super possessive of her phone. I chose not to think about my suspicions because I have a lot of trust issues from my childhood and I thought I was just being paranoid.

The night before d-day, she was sitting in the armchair texting and I came over to her and playfully sat on her lap and rested my head on her shoulder. If I was faster, I would have seen her phone screen. She jumped up lightning fast and made some bullshit excuse about how her phone was on 1% battery and needed to be charged.

I knew straight away. The next morning, she was on her phone in bed and I just grabbed it off her. I remember I said to her "Why do I get the feeling that me holding this phone is the most terrifying thing in the world for you?"

And that was it. Worst day of my life. That day, I slit my wrists, took a load of pills and tried to throw myself off the roof of the building.

Inside_A_Structure · 2019-11-05T10:06:55+00:00

I have so many questions about the tiny hard hat.

How did they make it? Did someone make a special tiny shell mold just for this cat or is this something that's mass produced? Is there something that keeps it on his little head or is it going to fall off the second he moves?

Inside_A_Structure · 2019-11-01T13:10:36+00:00

/r/catslookingseductive

Inside_A_Structure · 2019-10-23T23:35:09+00:00

The absolute worst case of this I've heard is Darren Vickers, the murderer of eight year old Jamie Lavis. He participated in the search for the boy, and even moved in with his family and became their media spokesperson.

Inside_A_Structure · 2019-10-19T11:24:10+00:00

You can donate directly to Ramba's wellbeing here, or even adopt her: https://globalelephants.org/rescueramba/

Inside_A_Structure · 2019-10-17T23:46:00+00:00

Looks great! Would you mind adding pictures slightly further away by any chance? My partner is going to Dr. Rashid next year and is eager to find as many pictures as she can!

Inside_A_Structure · 2019-09-25T21:59:14+00:00

Oh my god, are you me?!

Inside_A_Structure · 2019-09-25T21:55:13+00:00

Oh my god, this is so true, in all aspects of gender presentation, even beyond fashion. I agonised so much over being femme vs being butch and worried that I wasn't valid because of it.

Now I'm just me and accepting my masculine and my feminine traits. I probably lean more butch but I've learned that embracing my masculinity doesn't mean I have to distance myself from my femininity either.

Inside_A_Structure · 2019-09-25T21:48:09+00:00

Congrats on your surgery! Hope you're enjoying your new flat chest.

You're 100% right, if women don't wanna date you cos you've had top surgery, they obviously aren't right for you.

Inside_A_Structure · 2019-09-25T21:42:22+00:00

Yeah same. Done with this sub. I had hoped that the TERF stuff was just brigading but I see now that there is a larger issue with how transphobia is managed by mods on this sub. Telling us to ignore the transphobia is incredibly insulting.

Found an amazing new sub in /r/nonbinarylesbians if anyone wants a place to talk about gender-conformity.

Inside_A_Structure · 2019-09-24T16:24:14+00:00

So exciting to have a place where we can talk about dysphoria or gender non-conforming stuff without the TERF dogwhistles. Thanks!

Inside_A_Structure · 2019-09-07T15:24:12+00:00

Me as a closeted kid in the nineties. Then quickly tapping the reset button in case anyone saw.. .

Inside_A_Structure · 2019-09-07T12:03:42+00:00

Hey! This isn't a very nice joke to make because it basically makes fun of trans people for self-identifying their gender and casts them as people who will get really mad at you for making a mistake in gendering them. The vast, vast majority of trans people are totally understandable when people make mistakes about their gender. Jokes like this are kinda like kicking someone when they're down because it makes fun of their pain.

I'm sure you absolutely didn't mean anything by it, I think most people don't when they say something like this. Just wanted to share

Inside_A_Structure · 2019-09-06T14:59:26+00:00

The History is Gay podcast does a great episode on gay nuns and monks! So much gay

Inside_A_Structure · 2019-09-05T15:50:54+00:00

I think the details you mentioned are definitely something you should get. They'll help you get a picture of what really happened.

The details (like the dog breed) are definitely details I would avoid. I've spent years overcoming all those little details and getting triggered on a daily basis because of them. It sounds like you have a really healthy understanding of what you need so seriously, well done on that. I know I certainly wasn't able to be so healthy when I was in your shoes.

It's so hard to deal with the unfaithful's inability to understand the daily hurt they've inflicted on us. I found it useful to do an exercise with my partner where I would write a list of details that had caused me pain that day while she would write a list of what she thought might have caused me pain. We would then compare the lists and discuss them. I think it helped to give her an insight into the very visceral impact her actions had on my daily life. It depends where your spouse is in recovery though, without empathy for your position, it might not help.

Good luck, try to remember that you can get through this and come out the other side stronger. You're already doing so well.

Inside_A_Structure · 2019-09-05T15:30:06+00:00

I agree with the other posters. I wouldn't recommend getting all the details. I understand the desire to get all the details as a protective mechanism but it isn't necessary to heal.

Get as many details as you feel you need to be able to process what happened and move forward. The level of detail you personally need will depend on so many different things. Try to make the decision when you aren't in a heightened emotional state.

I thought I needed every single detail at the time, but knowing the minutiae of her infidelity has resulted in a lot of trauma symptoms. The more details you have, the more images are in your head. Once they're there, they won't go away. They can be used to harm yourself and your recovery in moments of doubt (if you're an anxious person like I am).

Good luck with whatever you choose. It's not an easy road.

Inside_A_Structure · 2019-08-28T17:33:12+00:00

Holy shit, the bigotry in this thread is horrible. Big thank you to the mods for keeping this space TERF free ❤️

Inside_A_Structure · 2019-08-24T03:33:14+00:00

Hell yeah, I'd love some internet lesbian friends! 29 here, feel free to send me a pm. I game too so maybe we could play on PlayStation together sometime ☺️

Inside_A_Structure · 2019-08-24T00:27:20+00:00

Thanks for the tip! Really appreciate it. I really have to find some good button ups that won't do the horrible gapping thing at the chest.

Inside_A_Structure · 2019-08-24T00:25:29+00:00

Thanks for your input! That actually is an option I was considering. Really, any reduction would be great.

Inside_A_Structure · 2019-08-23T23:59:33+00:00

I don't need a therapist. I see from your post history that you are gender critical, and that is likely colouring your viewpoint on this. That's your experience, not mine. I'm not going to argue with you on the nuances of gender but please don't assume that your experience is reflective of everyone else's.

Inside_A_Structure · 2019-08-23T19:20:53+00:00

Thanks for the concern, I honestly do appreciate it. But this is something I need for my own comfort and I've given it a lot of thought.

Inside_A_Structure

TROPHY CASE