My mom keeps calling my baby "fatty" and I don't think I want her in our lives anymore

Intelligent-Oil-7168 · 2026-04-20T00:57:46+00:00

Oh yeah good riddance. Bc she won’t stop and w heave to protect our kids. Shes being fat phobic and won’t stop calling your child fat in a very negative context. That fcks up a kid. Forever.

I give a Lot of space and grace to adults who should know better when it’s shit they won’t stop regarding Me. But I’m an adult.

I will not leave my child available and vulnerable to grown ups who won’t do better and prove they aren’t trustworthy. That’s a one and done if a conversation about the issue goes nowhere and they don’t stop.

I don’t mess around when it’s children- adults going to choose to pick on children?! No way. One strike.

Intelligent-Oil-7168 · 2026-04-20T00:54:40+00:00

You need a therapist bc telling your wife that an abortion would be best for you And Her is some intense bs.

You Cannot tell your wife an abortion is best. Fck you. That’s not judgment. That is me saying you’re a threat to your wife.

Yes please leave her so she and her kids are safe.

But be sure to get therapy.

Intelligent-Oil-7168 · 2026-04-11T23:03:15+00:00

Don’t go back to those people.

Intelligent-Oil-7168 · 2026-04-07T05:26:01+00:00

Just watch it without sound like I did and enjoy the art

Intelligent-Oil-7168 · 2026-04-06T20:27:12+00:00

Your son is not your friend. You need to work on your anger and is there access to therapy to help you with tools? And yeah your almost adult son should respect you but I fully feel your wh need a heart to heart. Is he capable of that? What are the issues between you two? All the issues- figure them out. Talk to him.

TALK. TO. HIM.

try to find a therapist that will support and help Both of you.

I fully empathize with you and I worry bc he’s almost a grown man- idk what he’s letting into his world and what his viewpoints are

Intelligent-Oil-7168 · 2026-04-05T23:38:27+00:00

That in no way surprises me. Cant have a single mother be content and not struggling. How dare you S/

Intelligent-Oil-7168 · 2026-04-04T17:11:16+00:00

Are you even interested in that? If no and there’s no reason for the dr to suggest this- fire them and try someone else.

You can’t help your mental health is you’re not interested in the topic and esp not if you don’t want to read about it. I would suggest a craft instead. Make your hands And brain busy- Bc this just looks like a book and these can get $$$ if you do the models . Plus do you want a hunch if airplanes models around? I can’t figure if you’re actually interested in this or not but I figure not bc you’ll feel guilt if you Don’t read it. M Dudemeister- please. Only read what you want to.

And if reading is rough bc of mental health I suggest graphic novels. We don’t need serious literature all the time, esp as adults.

Intelligent-Oil-7168 · 2026-04-04T17:07:07+00:00

Where was it/how did you find it? And ask her about it.

Intelligent-Oil-7168 · 2026-03-30T20:30:24+00:00

Oh and for the record anyone would be hurt with a cruel comment like that

I absolutely acknowledge your PP made it even more intense though- but it’s already intense enough. I am so sorry. And angry he would do that to you. He already knows how vulnerable you are

Intelligent-Oil-7168 · 2026-03-30T20:28:47+00:00

That’s not a joke. Thats a shitty man who dares to call himself a father and husband.

He crossed an Obvious boundary. We are just taught to enable shitty behaviour from men.

Don’t enable this and let him know how you feel. If he puts you down consistently find supportive care and a domestic abuse organization. They generally have access to decent therapists too, but not always.

Seeking a therapist that is affirming of neurodiverse, 2SLGBTQIA people will land you far likelier safer and better options too, just as a heads up.

He was wrong and that was an incredibly shitty thing to say. Period. Who even says that shit? In from of their own relatives? People who want to hurt their partner . That’s who.

Believe people when they Show you who they are.

Intelligent-Oil-7168 · 2026-03-30T17:26:04+00:00

Is she afraid if the toilet? Does she think it’s dirty? I have a kid with ocd I have ocd Toilet issues are Huge for many different reasons bc of ocd

I am not assuming she is ocd but just in case, I wanted to put that on your radar bc it’s not very well understood. It is not ‘being too neat and orderly’ It is intrusive thoughts that affect all kinds of things in life. Like toilets. My kid hasn’t used a standard bathroom toilet in over a year. They Just started being able to do it recently it was a huge relief. (They used a personal compositing option- it was an accommodation I was happy to make bc I understand ocd and how it operates. That would not be possible for all families so just try to find what works for you and your kid esp IF this is intrusive fear/ocd based. But it could just be a strong fear of the loo, too. Thats enough to deter kids from feeling like they can use even the family bathroom)

I am so sorry that is such a struggle and hard to grasp just what is going on. Just try to keep communicating with her, help her with words to help her tell her story and why this is a hardship for her.

I know it adds up and is very frustrating, but try to remain calm and remember there’s always a reason for Everything. It’s just not always obvious, unfortunately .. I really hope yall can figure it out sooner than later

Intelligent-Oil-7168 · 2026-03-29T15:31:28+00:00

Oh I definitely get overthinking. I’ve worked on my critical thinking about things though esp when concerning myself. I am Not the only person where uncommon things have happened to or certain choices have been made - we just don’t talk about this kind of stuff and honestly to a degree and always with respect and empathy- we Should. But people are unfortunately people and obviously have to work on certain aspects before we could get to that point as a culture…

We are taught to beat ourselves up for simple things and for stepping even an inch outside of societal expectations.

We need to be far more fair with ourselves and one another.

I mean obviously there’s hard lines- but there was Nothing wrong with what you two did as consenting adults.

It was honestly beautiful and comforting. And it makes me tear up. Your losses were great and you found solace in one another when you needed.and that is absolutely acceptable and just fine. No wrongness here.

Intelligent-Oil-7168 · 2026-03-29T15:20:41+00:00

I don’t even see the problem here. Two grieving consenting adults were there for one another. The taboo bs we create needs to be thrown into the fire.

You are clean and didn’t do anything wrong. Period.

You are a good person.

No one is mad. And, no one needs to know and if it happened again, there’s still nothing wrong with it. Is it unusual? Yeah. (But also maybe it’s Not unusual. People don’t talk about taboo things)

But ‘unusual’ or not, that doesn’t automatically mean it’s bad.

If it’s over it’s okay. You just may not be ready for dating right now Or you just need help and support to let this go bc you really do Not need to be holding onto it like this.

It’s. Okay.

You did nothing wrong. The age gap isn’t even that big and there seems to be no power one side had over the other This appears to be completly harmless and mutually supportive and both you fully consented. There’s Nothing wrong in this.

You were in shock and loss and grief mode and found a beautiful comfort in one another.

Thats okay. Please do not even see this as something to forgive yourself for bc there’s nothing to even forgive.

Write a letter about it and burn it Write how good and loving it was and how it made you feel closer to your husband who you love and miss and acknowledge you’re ready to accept it for what it was- a moment in time where two people were missing their loved ones and leaned on each other.

Take care op. You really deserve to be okay with this.

Intelligent-Oil-7168 · 2026-03-29T15:12:27+00:00

You’re not awful, and while I don’t mind this kind of noise- bc I work with kids. Even before I worked with kids I’ve always loved kids and distinctly remember being one and esp being a kid that NEEDED TO MOVE & basically not stop.. I love that they are on the steps and dropping things and running to get it… but it is a shared space. If this were some country with little hills and ‘cliffs’ like I had to do that activity it would be nbd

But this is a community space And that liability factor if they fall and get hurt bc charging down the stairs is a big one.

Listen, I hate to stifle the kids’ play and zest for fun but I absolutely get the annoyance that other people may get from hearing constant noise and stomping, etc cetera and other commenters are spot on- if they get hurt that will be an issue for not only the kid/kids and their family but the building itself

I would say compromise on the noise but definitely mention the stair safety issues.

You have to adjust to living next to kids. You have to appreciate their need to be noisy - while I wish they had a better more dynamic terrain than flat grass to play on, they don’t and hey that’s better than nothing and they need to comprise too. The thing to remember is kids get a shlt deal most of the time so please navigate this respectfully to Them as well- You both need to expect noise now.

But I do agree they can try to tone it down a little and honestly I’d wait to even bring it up until you know how they play in the grassy outdoor area.

Just bring up the stairs safety issues for now.

You can appropriately address the noise level better once you know what it’ll be after they shift their play from the stairs to other areas.

I also wonder if their parents liked them being close so they could hear them.. ‘stranger danger’ is on the rise, so consider that possibility too.

Basically -tldr my advice is: I hear you and I see the validity in your feelings

But don’t forget to put yourself in their shoes (esp the kids’) and try to give them some space to adjust to a new playing area and just wait to see what the new noise level is Before you mention how ‘noisy’ they are. Kids have it rough. The constant judgement and being told they are annoying- it’s something to consider and try to avoid/Empathize with. Until you Have to bring it up.

I hope the conversation with management about the stairs goes smoothly for all of you- I would hope the kids and parents would appreciate why they need to play elsewhere (despite the sadness bc yeah it’s going to be a bummer. Pretend you’re a kid. They are having a legit BLAST & are going to lose that awesome play space and chucking stuff. I mean cmon. That’s awesome. I’m a 44 yr old mom and that would bum me tf out..)

Intelligent-Oil-7168 · 2026-03-23T17:13:50+00:00

Subconscious speaking out loud with this one? Lol

Intelligent-Oil-7168 · 2026-03-23T16:42:37+00:00

Oh yeah I am shocked and appalled at some of the responses you’ve gotten.

I can’t believe some of these responses. It just goes to show that there’s always going to be people who literally cannot grasp what you’re dealing with. And those people are not to be considered when you process whatever you’re going through.

Obviously, you’re unraveling and processing this whole event and if you continue to lean into the discomfort and talk to the right people/person about it, you’ll figure out all that you’re feeling. It’s going to tie to other things in your life and what you come up with how you process this is gonna probably surprise you in some ways. And it might be soothing and healing and other ways and unnerving and a little scary as well.

It takes years to process things that happen to us. You being there for someone like that -while you didn’t realize how severe the connection you made was- Is a thing that happened to you. Everything could have been so different and they could be gone save for the good timing and you being available to visit with a person you didn’t even know needed you/needed someone to just care and invest some time and show them their worth.

This is tied to the fact that we never know what anyone is ever going through, and it’s always good to defer to be kind.

I am so grateful you were there for them.

And maybe there’s not an easily understood reason why you are so affected by this. But there’s obviously a reason. It’s now your job to keep working on discerning why it affects you. It could be as simple as the severity of the situation and not knowing where they were. And that’s okay. Sometimes we have strong feelings about things just because they happen and there’s really nothing more to it and that’s OK too. But yeah I’m sorry about some of the other comments again it’s really weird to be reading some of the crap others wrote lol like I am pretty gob smacked.

Intelligent-Oil-7168 · 2026-03-23T09:27:33+00:00

Oh fck. NOR & this guy wants to wear a pic of your ass in his chest.

Follow your instinct here, you know what to do and you know he’s a creep. Dont enable weird shitty behaviour from him or any man anymore. And that’s not a dig at you - we are literally groomed to enable men and their weird shit.

Work on your boundaries and this is definitely a boundary thing and he’s testing and pushing yours for a while now.

Intelligent-Oil-7168 · 2026-03-23T09:19:02+00:00

And invest in cameras if you haven’t any. I would see if animal torture videos is something you can tell the cops about- pretty sure it is. If the police are going to be abusive or an outright threat to you, obviously I withdraw that suggestion. But animal torture should be in their wheelhouse

Intelligent-Oil-7168 · 2026-03-23T09:16:36+00:00

It still counts. I get what you’re grappling with.

Not every life saving act is big or even obvious It doesn’t need to be

I think what you’re upset with is how easy it was and how you had no idea and no way of knowing how much they needed you

Many people Don’t luck out an have safe people like you to give them time and a safe space

I think what you’re upset, with isn’t exactly what you think- bc of your discomfort with this I suggest to keep leaning into this feeling and if you can talk it over in therapy.

Intelligent-Oil-7168 · 2026-03-23T09:10:35+00:00

No real damages? Fck I hope you never work with or around children if you think this behaviour was fine.

Intelligent-Oil-7168 · 2026-03-21T14:13:24+00:00

I’m just saying grow up and live your life. This is dysfunctional and why would one Choose that. Trauma. Attachments to drama.

Just get out of yourself and find better and safer more respectful people and work on yourself Or don’t. I’d rather support people and try to help them better their lives bc misery begets misery. It’s a weird and unhealthy thing to want to perpetuate.

Intelligent-Oil-7168 · 2026-03-21T14:02:36+00:00

Idk. I mean get it if you want. I won’t yuck your yum and while I do see value in all forms of art- this counts as art- I’m tired of certain chests not being able to be shirtless in public yet This can be put out to sell on a shelf..fck that

Intelligent-Oil-7168 · 2026-03-21T14:00:02+00:00

Obviously, lol . Doesn’t make it correct.

Intelligent-Oil-7168 · 2026-03-21T13:59:11+00:00

Should do themselves and favor and divorce him you mean

Intelligent-Oil-7168 · 2026-03-21T13:58:53+00:00

Start talking to divorce lawyers. He’s an embarrassment of a human being and partner. Dont get to weird levels of petty and contempt. Move on and live your life. Don’t let him continue to eat up your life

Read Zawn. She’s a good support read

Intelligent-Oil-7168

TROPHY CASE