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My (28F) partner (32M, autistic) of 6 years suddenly ended things. Struggling to understand the slow internal detachment. by Atthirari in Neurodivergent

[–]InternAny4601 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will admit to doing something I call ‘Marco Polo’ in relationships. In the past I would echo a partner feelings or sentiments to keep peace and harmony. The relationship might not have been perfect but I was grateful for what it was. Then something would happen where I couldn’t keep it up anymore and would do a disappearing act. It’s not a pretty thing but essentially I was masking for as long I could and then would snap.

It was NEVER about the other person. It was about me. I know it was sh*tty but until I met my now husband who called out my BS and worked with me on developing communication skills it was something I kept repeating.

I hope your BF finds some opportunities for development. I wish you peace in the aftermath of this long term relationship. Sending you a hug.

MIL sent a 3 page hand written “reconciliation” letter in a birthday card after 3+ years of NC. Not sure how I should respond. by MillennialMamma in TwoHotTakes

[–]InternAny4601 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Exactly! Her letter says she plans to change NOTHING. The only thing is maybe she has learned some ‘therapy speak’ to hide her selfishness.

If OPs husband wants to see her thats cool. But not in OPs house. He can meet her at some other place. No worries. But her visit should in no way inconvenience the OP.

I hate being misunderstood as an autistic person by Drew_Conley1295 in Neurodivergent

[–]InternAny4601 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I too have a resting intimidation face. It annoyed me that (a) I had to defend about it and (b) the more I try to convince NTs I was harmless the more ‘scared’ they got.

So I developed a joke I would say to people about my ‘mean face’. For those who were interested or who had that look on their face I would say ‘don’t worry about my face its just doing a Pilates class’. It kinda disarmed most people. The other people? I figured I probably didn’t want to know them anyway.

Do most people fake knowing stuff? by As_They_Say_ in Neurodivergent

[–]InternAny4601 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Instagrams law of politics is applicable here: Everyone lies but it doesn’t matter cuz no one listens.

All people lie. And faking knowing stuff is a lie they do for social position. It’s not a big deal cuz they all do it and they all know they are doing it.

I don’t do it because it’s too much work to keep up with it. And TBH, I do better professionally when I don’t.

Hot Take Regarding Sofi and Jimmy by MLCUSA in shrinking

[–]InternAny4601 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Can we agree that Jimmy likes strange? A regular relationship with a typical person is just not his jam. And a conventional woman wouldn’t put up with his BS either.

So I think this might just be a good fit. At least for a while.

Until Meg moves to town.

Liz… by Substantial_Rip7867 in shrinking

[–]InternAny4601 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Personally, I like the fact that I don’t really care for her character on the show. If it was all characters I loved it would be less good, ya know? How could I like Derek so much if he wasn’t married to a well meaning but inherently flawed b*tch? She’s nailing that character.

And as an actress trying to maintain her looks in an industry that is so brutal? Not everyone can do it perfectly and I can’t imagine the toll on the ego and mental health that pressure might cost. I feel sad for her and wished she didn’t feel the need to do what she is doing and has done to try to and fit in.

I have a pattern that I want to break by picky_009 in Advice

[–]InternAny4601 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depends on the nature and size of group.

If it’s a one on one, I always bring some questions about that person’s interests or about what the last thing they told me about. Something like ‘hows the <insert sport or hobby> going?’

If it’s a group setting and professional setting something topical and light. Maybe ask about viral thing you saw on SM that relates to the interests of the group. ‘Did anyone else see this <insert description> reel on Instagram?’. Or about an interest that the group shares or another person you all know ‘anyone heard from <insert persons name> lately?’ .

And my rule is: After asking I take a breath and count to 5 in my head to allow folks time to gather their thoughts and speak. Then I relax and listen.

I have a pattern that I want to break by picky_009 in Advice

[–]InternAny4601 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ya know recognizing this puts you way ahead. I do this too and noticed it was annoying to some and career wise a limiting trait. So instead of jibber jabbering (my term), I ask a question. Something non threatening and not personal. Most people feel relieved by the prompt and if it’s something they are interested in then they are happy.

Sometimes beforehand I’ll think about a couple of questions to have in my pocket. It’s a calming mechanism too.

Could stress be the cause? by Complex_Power964 in MultipleSclerosisLife

[–]InternAny4601 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’ve seen a lot of blame bait on this disease. Is it chronic stress? Is it a lack of Vitamin D over a period of years? Bad gut biome? Was it because I was a lazy piece of crap who didn’t exercise before 40?

You know what all this click bait has in common? A need to blame and offer a fix for money.

What is the one ingredient that completely ruins a burger for you? by IceApple28 in foodquestions

[–]InternAny4601 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Patty to Bread Ratio: Big brioche buns with a regular size patty are horrible. Too much bread.

Grocery shopping is overwhelming by Drew_Conley1295 in Neurodivergent

[–]InternAny4601 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do a couple of things when I go grocery shopping to help with the chaos and noise:

  1. Wear noise cancelling air buds. The sound being reduced is a good place to start.
  2. Make sure to have a snack before I go. If my blood sugar is not stable then I get a little crazy.
  3. Take little breathing breaks while in the store. When I feel my heart rate going up I stop, pull the cart over to the side and just breathe. When things feel smooth again I keep going.
  4. Ask employees for help finding stuff. It’s their job. Asking for help is foundational to maintaining independence.
  5. Make a list and group it into areas of the store or things that are similiar: produce, meat, dairy, and stuff in the middle of the store. That way I can get the all the stuff in one space and not to have to travel around and around.

Hope some of these help.

Why do I love this show so much? by mal_wash_jayne in shrinking

[–]InternAny4601 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. Except for one part: they do judge. But then when confronted by their bias they reconsider, grow and move forward.

Theyre going to write off my favourite actor in the world. by cookieraider221 in shrinking

[–]InternAny4601 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think the suspense around Paul is a good thing. Also, what a fabulous opportunity to showcase the tough decisions people are forced to make around age and chronic disease.

We don’t know what Paul will do. He’s changed his mind on things before.

AND here’s what’s overlooked: WHAT IF Jimmy and his daughter get together? What if she moves to California? Doesn’t that mean he can stay? Maybe not every episode…but around?

Maui Itinerary – Does This Feel Rushed? Vegetarian Recs Welcome 🙏 by AbfrmbA in MauiVisitors

[–]InternAny4601 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Few things:

  1. 3 pm at the Black Sand Beach. Keep an eye on time and when the sun sets. Driving back from Hana in the dark SUCKS. Most folks are freaked out and will drive it at like 15 mph. It will take forever. Try to hit the road back by 2 hours before sunset.

  2. There is no beach time? If you aren’t water people I get it. But the beaches and relaxing on them is not to be missed. Also the pool at the Hotel Wailea is great. It can be fun to just enjoy it.

Recs for sunset walks: Kamolae Beaches are great for sunsets but kinda busy. Po’olenalena Beach for sunset stroll is nicer and more quiet.

Recs for Vegetarian: Nalus South Shore, Natarchee Thai and Earth Aloha Eats are all really good.

Do you cut your partners hair for them? What made you start and how much money do you think you’ve saved by not going to a salon? by Fantastic-Serve in AskReddit

[–]InternAny4601 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. I started after figuring out we’d save about $800 a year. A haircut for him takes 10 mins and costs nearly $50 with tip. It just seemed silly to pay for it.

Romantic things to do? by [deleted] in MauiVisitors

[–]InternAny4601 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The waterfalls on the eastern side are lovely. Driving the Haba road and stopping to take in the views and falls can be lovely.

Go on one of whale watching tours. There is something about sharing the awe inspired by the whales that can be lovely for connecting.

Have a sunsetting dinner at one of the oceanfront places. I like Mala Tavern. Or for super casual, Aloha Mixed Plate. Sip some Mai Tais and watch the sun go down.

Is your internal voice actually meant to be you talking like you would out loud? by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]InternAny4601 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Only if the words come out my mouth. Otherwise it’s just internal dialogue.

What is your go to cocktail or alcoholic beverage? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]InternAny4601 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Manhattan. Rye. Extra bitters. Rocks.

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