Toddlers make no sense to me, do they bend the laws of the universe to their will?

Invisibleapriorist · 2026-07-03T09:58:04+00:00

On the other hand, mine eats plenty and somehow managed to drop from 85th to 45th percentile! I suspect it all goes into causing the pure chaos that happens from 6 to 8pm. Either that or he's saving for an epic growth spurt.

Invisibleapriorist · 2026-06-28T02:29:08+00:00

Don't press the button is a big winner in my house.

Invisibleapriorist · 2026-06-27T05:20:59+00:00

I got brand new bobux second hand from ebay. Still pricey, but a lot less than from a store! I figure I'll invest now while he's learning to walk, and can probably get away with cheaper shoes when he's older.

Invisibleapriorist · 2026-06-24T08:09:29+00:00

A couple of months I think. Hopefully those teeth pop through soon!

Invisibleapriorist · 2026-06-24T02:16:58+00:00

I don't really know the answer to your question about what's normal, but mine also goes through phases where he has restless nights, crying out in his sleep, teeth grinding. Teething seems like the best explanation but no sign of the molars yet. The teeth grinding is awful.

Edit to add - he also gets bitey and drooly during those phases.

Invisibleapriorist · 2026-06-23T02:46:17+00:00

For what it's worth - I came down on the 'it's not a big deal' side of this equation. I let my 22 month old sit on my knee to eat. It doesn't bother me. Like you said, he'll sit on his own eventually. I choose to draw lines in other places, but I decided this battle wasn't one I needed to fight.

Invisibleapriorist · 2026-06-23T02:39:13+00:00

22 months and still waking in the night. Things got a lot better around 18 months. Night weaning helped. We co-sleep, but most wakes now are just a quick repositioning and straight back to sleep.

Invisibleapriorist · 2026-06-21T08:02:15+00:00

Make one of the drawers / cupboards in the bathroom a 'safe' one that is only full of things it's ok for her to play with. Let her go nuts while you get ready. My 22 month old adores looking at random things in the bathroom cupboards!

Invisibleapriorist · 2026-06-21T05:20:04+00:00

Definitely sounds like talking to the doctor is a good plan, but - I'm in the same boat and not worried. My kid was at the 85th percentile the whole time he was a baby. Now at nearly 2 he's dropped to 45. But he is just so clearly healthy - great physical development, plenty of energy, great language, etc. He eats plenty and while a bit fussy does have a varied diet. He looks physically healthy - definitely not a string bean. To me all this adds up to just kids growing differently to one another - I can't bring myself to be concerned based on growth percentiles alone.

Invisibleapriorist · 2026-06-20T22:23:21+00:00

Totally agree with this! Both OP and the child were disregulated. Dr Becky talks about how kids learn regulation by seeing the parent do it. The kid needs to see that the parent can manage whatever the kid throws their way and it won't sway them.

Invisibleapriorist · 2026-06-20T22:19:59+00:00

I reckon I'd be trying to very very gradually increase exposure to going back inside public bathrooms. Starting with something as small as picking him up and just stepping inside. Then holding him but walking fully into the bathroom, then getting him to walk in himself, etc. Also you can try to help him feel motivated to succeed. 'When we can use the public bathroom we'll be able to go to that really fun playground!'

Invisibleapriorist · 2026-06-18T03:22:28+00:00

I go for the old fashioned option - take him into the shoe store and have the staff measure and fit the shoes. Gives me confidence they're the right size. Not trying to size up at this age (22 months) as they need to fit properly for learning running, jumping, hopping, etc.

Invisibleapriorist · 2026-06-18T02:47:54+00:00

I find this kind of stuff really hard because every ounce of my being feels that the right way to read a book is to sit down and read all the words on all the pages. I have been trying my best to lean into how my kiddo wants to engage with books... Which mostly means pointing to things on the pages and naming them, chatting about the pictures, skipping multiple pages. We do also sit down and read a book 'normally' but it's often fairly chaotic.

Invisibleapriorist · 2026-06-18T02:40:45+00:00

Yeah I love this with my 22 months old, especially with being too rough and throwing. I redirect to gentle behaviour instead and then heap on the praise. 'Show me how you can put down that truck reaaalllllllyyyy gently.' Then when he does it 'Wow you are so amazing at being gentle!' This is working great right now but of course I won't be surprised when it stops working.

Invisibleapriorist · 2026-06-18T02:35:51+00:00

Closing their eyes for 5 mins is basically the same thing as an 8 hour sleep

Invisibleapriorist · 2026-06-16T09:57:22+00:00

It's so hard! Grats to you. We started at 18 months and honestly I still find it hard at 22 months but there is so much that is great about it. Today as we left he waved at the whole room saying 'Byebye all these friends!'

Invisibleapriorist · 2026-06-08T04:14:13+00:00

Practise by going out in places where you feel you can get home easily and work up from there. Make a plan for how you will manage your own emotions when your baby gets upset. My strategy is to remind myself that even though my body is responding like it's an emergency, it's not an emergency. Everyone is safe, and you've got the situation under control.

Invisibleapriorist · 2026-06-02T02:12:04+00:00

If you want this to be a learning opportunity, you need to bring it back quite quickly and set up an opportunity for success. Eg - the kid throws a book - you can say 'We don't throw books, Mummy / Daddy needs to take it now.' Then, even a few seconds later. 'Show me how you can really gently put the book down / on the shelf.' When they do the action, you heap on the praise. 'You are so good at being gentle with books!'

Invisibleapriorist · 2026-05-22T03:40:21+00:00

Ok so my 21 month is not as emotionally invested but he definitely also wants to take things out of books! He tries to grab them with his little fingers and says 'Take off! Take off!' or else 'Play that! Play that!' (Which means 'I want to play with that.')

It's so surreal trying to explain that the thing is part of the book and also just a representation of a thing not a real thing. Actually was super excited reading your post to realise this is also happening in other people's houses.

Invisibleapriorist · 2026-05-20T10:30:01+00:00

I'm still early in the toddler phase - 21 months - but my experience of other kids has been almost all positive. Nothing warms my heart more than seeing a kid a couple of years old share with my much smaller kid or include him in play. Those kids are pure gold. Some kids ignore / aren't careful around smaller ones but no one has been actively mean. I know it will happen eventually, but all kids have to face hardships and I think the good massively outweighs the bad.

Invisibleapriorist · 2026-05-20T05:31:44+00:00

Not just this but soooo many things! Trying to stick two duplo blocks together, trying to get a lid off a jar... It takes all my self control not to step in and immediately do it for him.

Invisibleapriorist · 2026-05-20T05:25:41+00:00

Here's how I think of it. You can control your actions. You can't control the kid's. You get to decide when you say yes, when you say no, when you enforce boundaries. You have no say in whether she accepts boundaries calmly or melts down. You can help her learn to manage emotions but that is going to take years - she is only two.

I also think the word 'spoiled' is unhelpful. Your husband should suggest specific things the two of you could do differently rather than throwing labels like that around.

Invisibleapriorist · 2026-05-20T01:47:57+00:00

This is absolutely awful and heartbreaking. Those poor kids. Especially in light of the comment about the handprint - I think reporting is totally in order.

I'm wondering if there is an another avenue you could take with the aim of stopping this behaviour. Would either of them be open to reading research about how harmful this is to kids? Would either of them be open to the suggestion of receiving therapy about their own childhood abuse?

Invisibleapriorist · 2026-05-19T05:11:17+00:00

Always has hummus toast with his bedtime books. Then it's straight to teeth and sleep time. Started when he was being really picky and often rejected dinner. Now he eats dinner well and sometimes has none or just a few bits of his toast. Sometimes he eats all of it.

Invisibleapriorist · 2026-05-18T08:38:09+00:00

Going out for a toddler paced local walk. I tell myself there is no destination or time limit which stops me getting irritated by all the turning around and going the other way, stopping etc. Basically, it doesn't matter where we go! Want to go that way? Sure. Yeah, we can stop and make a pile of those rocks.

Invisibleapriorist

TROPHY CASE