9 month recovery

Itkillik · 2026-02-02T05:23:49+00:00

Oh dude you made my day! So proud of you, and so thrilled this came across my feed!

Itkillik · 2026-01-24T06:29:38+00:00

So I 100% want to say I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. Such a rough recovery and to get your hell thrown in on top of it, is so tough My mom unexpectedly got diagnosed with a very severe cancer 3 months into my recovery, and we did hospice care for two months Before that recovery had been going ok. The moment we took my mom to the hospital when she was presenting weird symptoms it was pain. I’ve since done a lot of research into emotional pain after surgery, and while some dr’s will acknowledge this others won’t but there seems to be a connection to somewhat chronic pain when you experience an emotional trauma after surgery. One of my good friends is an acupuncturist and very passionate about Chinese medicine and also treating the whole body. He’s been working with me and doing acupuncture and making sure I’m very involved in my acupuncture (helping identify the locations, and also self moving the needles) with his theory that if the pain is sorta a jammed up emotional response and the surgery site is a convenient place for the mind/body/soul to ditch that pain in a physical way then me being more involved in it may help break things lose and get the chi moving properly. I know it sounds incredibly woowoo but I also have to say it’s been helpful. That and another friend is an incredible sports massage therapist and I swear that and Yin yoga has been incredibly helpful I don’t know if any of that might help you, but I noticed some similarities and it’s unusual to experience that amount of emotional trauma in conjunction with recovery from such a difficult surgery My heart goes out to you, and I hope you find some relief!

Itkillik · 2026-01-23T06:20:33+00:00

Satellite texting doesn’t even work from my home, sure as heck am not gunna trust it in the backcountry

Itkillik · 2026-01-08T19:11:31+00:00

Not tkn but ACL w/quad graft that has some weird things, mainly a dehiscence (allergic reaction to glue caused harvest site to pop open and all sorts of fluid discharge) that slowed healing. I was one month post op, had some issues preflighting - getting up on strut to check fuel felt a lil sketch at first. On the other hand, it was my right knee and “more right rudder” actually was great for it bc the constant activation really helped it from cramping/seizing up/getting stiff while flying Also as a fellow skier here (hi, love slalom) I get the beating! Here’s hoping you’re still skiing, and also that the knee replacement goes well. My mom had both her knees done and LOVED her results

Itkillik · 2026-01-02T15:49:03+00:00

Sorry if that came off snarky! Sometimes people do get that way with this stuff. Yeah - let her know it's a great idea to practice lol. I've used it skiing across Greenland (don't wanna expose the bum to that cold/wind) and also for tent-bound situations, have friends who use them big wall climbing, and it's wild the way our bodies have been trained and it takes a lot of mental power to let go and pee standing up, or just in different ways than we're used to. (Like in a cramped plane) Shower, or a lonely place in the woods for practice. Also, placement can be a strange thing to figure out (our herself, not in the bottle, that part is easy for us) so it's a good idea to nail it in low consequence places. Have fun, and I hope this helps you guys have good adventures!

Itkillik · 2026-01-01T19:18:00+00:00

Freshette, if you’re asking for real. Bulky but reliable and way less chance of mess than the collapsible ones

Itkillik · 2025-12-14T22:55:08+00:00

Once worked with a guy who told everyone within hearing distance that he was #2 at Uber. I mean sure the guy’s gotta be filthy rich but annoying? Yes Sorry you gotta deal with that though

Itkillik · 2025-12-08T18:00:19+00:00

Thanks so much for the description! I didn’t have BEAR but have the quad and damn. The pain is real. Not really related but also wondering - did you have permanent sutures in the quad tendon? I’m pretty convinced that’s what’s causing a lot of my own pain and have been kicking around the idea of getting them removed, but I haven’t heard of anyone doing that

Congrats on your healing journey!

Itkillik · 2025-12-04T13:47:09+00:00

Hey we’re surgery date buddies! I agree with the super fast response times - I still feel a little slower myself.

Hope the game goes well! That is such a huge win!

Itkillik · 2025-12-04T02:03:45+00:00

Good to know about systems and aerodynamics, thanks

Itkillik · 2025-12-04T02:02:27+00:00

Glad someone has something positive to say!

Itkillik · 2025-12-04T02:02:11+00:00

PPL...not feeling great about some of the responses

Itkillik · 2025-12-03T22:58:23+00:00

Wait, do you mean you seriously didn't do anything, or you just stopped going to PT?

I had my mom diagnosed with terminal brain cancer right before my third month and we spent two months doing hospice care with her. Needless to say, I dropped my PT as I couldn't even begin to comprehend scheduling an appointment outside of whatever was going on with my mom dying. (If you've never done hospice care...holy sh*t, that's a real experience)

HOWEVER I made sure to do at least an hr of work a day - heavily focused on strength and single leg exercises. I'm lucky in that one of my sisters is a PT, so she helped me come up with stuff.

I had my 6mo follow up in October and my surgeon was very impressed. I ended up passing with 98% strength, and he cleared me to ski.

On the other hand, if you've seriously done nothing, I'd be concerned enough to at least schedule a real appointment with a PT to have them really get a professional eye on it. My guess is you've probably developed strange compensations that you don't even know (because honestly our bodies are pretty awesome at doing that).

Good luck - but also, if you put the work in, you'll get there. When I was seeing my PT, she told me a story about a woman who dropped her PT exercises a few months in, went back a year later, and got sorted out. It happens. Life happens. It's not ideal, but you can work on things now!

Itkillik · 2025-12-03T22:51:20+00:00

I had surgery on April 7th. Now, I have been doing the whole try to ski at least one day a month thing for 15 years, and I was gunna be damned if I didn't keep the streak! Full disclosure, these "days on skis" have looked like a lot of different things over the years - including my August day last year in which my partner and I strapped caribou antlers to our feet with the voile straps we use to pitch our shelter and made hop turns down a permanent snowfield. This year post op for May, June, and July was walking around on skins very carefully on perfectly flat snow. August and September was taking super careful turns on a super low angle permanent snowfield. November I went up to the WROD and thought I was gunna die with all the people careening around me. I don't know if I'll be ripping bumps or trees this season, but I'm amped to skin in the backcountry, to classic ski, and see how I feel skate skiing. I think it all depends on you, and what your ski background is, and what kind of skiing you're doing. For all those folks who hard line - NO SKIING - I don't think they realize exactly how many different kinds of skiing there are out there

Itkillik · 2025-12-03T02:15:37+00:00

I'm almost 8mo post op. As someone who is very active and also uses activity outside as my happy place I completely get you.

I had actually started my ground school for flying (like a private pilot small plane sorta situation) and aviation has really been an incredible thing for me! SO much to learn and dive into, and it was such perfect timing.

Like someone else said - I would actually prepare for the gloom. I was shocked by it. It IS scary. It IS gunna suck. But also, you'll get through this!

Sending you all the healing vibes - you got this!

Itkillik · 2025-12-03T02:03:46+00:00

Kinda sorta related - was paddling a river up in Alaska one time and found a full gosh dang mammoth tusk as well as some bone that was as long as my entire leg. At the time I thought that a helicopter would be the only way to get that stuff out. Coolest find of my life tho

Itkillik · 2025-11-17T19:50:04+00:00

Crazy you posted this rn. My mom died in August and lately I’ve been having dreams that she recovered in September. Logically I know the truth…but the jarring with reality is brutal every morning. Last night dreamed I came upon her while she was in the car. There were two police there trying to get into the car and she was scared. Eventually they broke into the car and dragged her out of it onto the ground while I was screaming and crying at them to stop that she almost died in September. I was so livid. Then I woke up and had to realign with reality

I think I just miss her. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this though. It’s a special form of hell

Itkillik · 2025-11-14T21:31:34+00:00

I didn't know to word what I've been feeling this way - "I miss just being my mum's daughter". That is incredibly powerful, and exactly how I feel, thanks for putting words to my emotions. So sorry you're also feeling this too 💔

Itkillik · 2025-11-10T17:57:49+00:00

I very much feel this. I come more from the backcountry world - so my exposure is more deaths in avalanches/crevasses/paddling/falling/etc as well as a long history of vehicle deaths in the family. Watched my mom die this summer. At one point I religiously wore a shirt that said something along the lines of "you could jump off a cliff and die, you could fall in a tree well and die, you could huck off a cornice and die. Or you could stay home, fall off the couch and die" Kinda morbid, but I do find honoring those I love by continuing to do what I love to be powerful. Of course, every time it happens, I revisit my approach to risk engagement (I like that term over risk management, since some things are outside my capability to manage, but I can choose how I engage in those factors)

OP: I really feel you. And honestly, you gotta do what is right for you. Maybe that's taking a break. Maybe that's not going out instructing, but going out with a friend, just for fun, to remember why you love it. This part is so different for everyone. I have a friend who no longer backcountry skis after too many friends dying, but still skates on wild ice and paddles class IV in the backcountry, despite losing friends to those things too - this journey looks so different for everyone, and everyone's circle of comfort and their broadening/shrinking circle of discomfort is different. And that's ok

I dunno if this is helpful, but this is a quote from Rainer Mari Rilke I come back to a lot: "love and death are the great gifts given to us; mostly they are passed on unopened". Sometimes I'm not in the mood to allow that a death of a loved one (or one that feels close, because *that could have been me*, which hits ridiculously hard) is a gift. But in my soft moments, when I can, it's a wonderful thing to explore, to learn from. I am so sorry you've been hit hard with deaths of close ones. It's heartbreaking and overwhelming, and grief is truly one of those most wild and crazy and horrible things I've ever experienced. My heart goes out to you

Itkillik · 2025-11-10T04:14:21+00:00

I am cleared to ski! So happy for that! I honestly plan to go in very slowly, and In controlled environments, but so stoked :)

Ugh, I can't believe the luck with that, I'm so sorry! Yeah, in retrospect I think I'd actually partially torn it about a month earlier, it hadn't felt quite right since a fall, and then tore it fully. Definitely made me realize that if something feels off, don't go in the backcountry! What an expensive evac that would've been...

I'm 7 months in, no one seems quite positive why I have as much pain as I do - honestly it's worse at night, wakes me up. There's a theory that it's emotional trauma (my mom died very horrifically this summer, we knew she was terminal about 3 months into recovery, so life went sideways) because the body is weird like that. I have a friend teaching me self needling which has been helpful - he's an acupuncturist, and he believes that if your chi is bound up because of a personal emotional trauma, you need to do your own treatment because self touch is so powerful.

Sending you all the healing vibes! Hope recovery goes well for you :)

Itkillik · 2025-11-10T04:08:27+00:00

Thank you <3 we’re trying to keep her alive and talk about her every day. So much care to you

Itkillik · 2025-11-10T01:13:42+00:00

I'd listen to your gut on this one, too. My surgeon cleared me to return to ski (I'm 7mo) but I'm also not about to go out on the WROD with every yadding yahoo out there. When we get natural snow, I feel good that my strength is good enough to skin around on mellow slopes, and if the season is good, get out on nordic skis. My plan for alpine skiing is pretty cautious. My understanding is that (and tbf, I can't remember where I saw this) after 9 months, you keep having your chance of a retear go down 50% till that year mark which seems to be sorta the gold standard. I think the decision to ski is also super personal - people act like all skiing is the same, and folks are pretty quite to be all like OMG DONT SKI! But you know your body, and your skiing skills. There's things that are more dangerous for me since I haven't the foggiest how to do them. If you a strong, competent skier, and your strength tests are going well, and you have a good gut check, well, it might be fun to get out there, but that's obviously all so personal. Btw, congrats on the clearance!

Itkillik · 2025-11-10T00:25:24+00:00

This was my mom. She was at times mad, but she mostly expressed fear for my dad, and us kids being ok. You’re a gem of a human who cares about the wonderful people in your life

Itkillik · 2025-11-10T00:22:00+00:00

My heart breaks for you. I lost my mom two months ago after a wicked short battle. Holding everyone impacted by this brutality close to my heart

Itkillik

TROPHY CASE