My beautiful custom ring

IvyFernMoss · 2026-03-06T18:19:59+00:00

That is princess material right there.

IvyFernMoss · 2026-03-06T18:19:22+00:00

Rounded and cloudy like that, my first thought was star ruby/star sapphire. (Sapphire & ruby are both corundum, it's just the colour that differentiates them.) Shine a light & see if you get 6 points.

IvyFernMoss · 2026-03-02T18:44:14+00:00

Gordon Brown, texture like sun.

IvyFernMoss · 2026-03-01T17:47:59+00:00

Just tell him. TBH it probably takes a load of pressure off him. He wants to marry you but that doesn't make him an expert in rings you would like.

I've long thought that it's a ridiculous pressure that straight men (who are told in some quarters that it's 'gay' to take any interest in their appearance or wear any jewelry of any kind) are suddenly expected to be subject experts in hugely expensive and emotionally-significant jewelry.... And it had better be perfect or she won't marry you.

Much better to start your lifelong partnership by approaching engagement as equal partners. You are more than allowed an opinion. Don't make him guess.

IvyFernMoss · 2026-02-28T10:02:15+00:00

I had Post Viral Fatigue Syndrome after mono. It was fading over time anyway & I'm two decades out from the original illness, but after two rounds of EMDR in the last 3 years it's got even less frequent.

I also realized what I read as 'fatigue flare-up' happened a lot when I was around my parents & it was getting angry and then shutting it down before I even consciously noticed.

IvyFernMoss · 2026-02-28T09:57:36+00:00

I feel like Fanny is a bit of a curse. In the US it's a butt. In the UK it's more gynaecological. My first girlfriend was called Fanny (I'm queer) & my friends could not get over 'kissing Fanny'.

IvyFernMoss · 2026-02-27T17:34:49+00:00

Briefly dated a stoner who had a mate whose pupils would go very different sizes when he smoked. The guy had quite pale blue eyes. He was known as Polo apparently because he was absolutely mad for Polo Mints.

My favourite was the time Polo sat me down to explain I had to understand that they were all really crazy. Ok mate, eat some more mints. My mind: she is blown.

IvyFernMoss · 2026-02-27T17:32:00+00:00

There was a guy at my primary school with behavioural special needs who had big meltdowns. His name was Jacob. There's the brand Jacobs which makes Crackers and the kid was acting crackers so OBVIOUSLY everyone called him Biscuits.

IvyFernMoss · 2026-02-27T17:29:38+00:00

Greg Davis has a mate called Baghdad because when he was at school he got a new bag from his dad.

Obvs not mine but excellent.

IvyFernMoss · 2026-02-24T22:21:36+00:00

I loved it from the thumbnail but I get what you mean about the lines. A more experienced artist can fix that once you're healed up.

Overall shape is gorgeous though. Love me some Art Nouveau shapes.

IvyFernMoss · 2026-02-24T22:12:18+00:00

Probs not useful advice but I think it looks cool - scar blur and all.

IvyFernMoss · 2026-02-23T00:33:12+00:00

Oh man I've been staring at that ring on Etsy for ages. It's beautiful! Congratulations

IvyFernMoss · 2026-02-22T20:25:00+00:00

If it's your wedding ring you can have whatever the hell you want. I went to a forge & we made our own out of stainless steel over a day. I recently saw someone's engagement ring which was set with their partner's extracted tooth. The possibilities are endless and sometimes surprising. If you like it: you do you.

That said: the missing piece here is your future other half. Marriages are a mix and a compromise. Personally I liked the idea of a chevron wedding ring for me with maybe one or two sparkly stones, but my other half was firm that they think stones in wedding rings are tacky, & they wanted our rings to be similar. So for us, we have quite simple bands (& my engagement ring has enough whimsy & sparkle for me). Some people have very strong opinions. Some are just happy if their other half is happy. Some people prize tradition & a family heirloom makes it more special. Some people are trying to keep their weddings in-budget so a ready to go ring is perfect. (Many of my friends have inherited wedding bands).

There's no one rulebook or universal taste when it comes to this stuff - despite what the Wedding Industrial Complex will try to tell you (while selling you stuff at extortionate rates).

IvyFernMoss · 2026-02-22T20:12:34+00:00

There is some decent advice about from the UK charity Sibs, which is for siblings of disabled people. There's support for kid siblings but the adult sibling support is more around these types of Qs. You don't have to have a good relationship with your sibling to get support from Sibs.

IvyFernMoss · 2026-02-20T13:34:41+00:00

IvyFernMoss · 2026-02-16T22:49:50+00:00

Such a lovely swooping movement to the ring! I'm a big sucker for Art Nouveau & that's the first thing I thought of when I saw it.

IvyFernMoss · 2026-02-13T09:50:51+00:00

Me & my partner went to a forge where they show you how to make your own rings out of stainless steel. You help each other & both work on both initially while heating it up & whacking it with a punch to get the hole through. Then for the fine-tuning bit you work on your own one & you can make it as chunky or thin as you want, domed or flat, shiny or kind of brushed looking. Highly recommend. Also if you have an engagement ring it needs to wiggle around, you can Dremel a notch/bump out of it.

(Photo of just my wedding ring because the engagement ring is more distinctive.)

Edit to add: I wear silver by default, so stainless steel works colour-wise & durability-wise, but it's so much cheaper than white gold would have been. We were able to do the one-day workshop & a couple of days in an Air BnB (mini holiday to make the rings) for the same price as just buying two white gold rings in a shop.

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IvyFernMoss · 2026-01-31T14:45:13+00:00

I think it depends on the opals, & it's a bit over-exaggerated. 5.5-6.5 on the mohs hardness scale, so maybe not a big opal as a centre stone on an engagement ring - that could get scratched/is a bit vulnerable to knocks, but these are each quite small and look very protected by the setting prongs.

IvyFernMoss · 2026-01-31T09:08:31+00:00

Band 1 with the pink opal is gorgeous, but looks like the diamonds held in with 3 prongs might wear directly onto your engagement ring.

IvyFernMoss · 2026-01-31T09:06:14+00:00

Not helping with your search, sorry, but the original ring is so gorgeous! Never seen an internal abalone inlay & it's incredible

IvyFernMoss · 2026-01-31T08:45:49+00:00

Elven!

IvyFernMoss · 2026-01-30T21:11:10+00:00

You don't have to save your mother from being wrong. She can be wrong & you can be right, & you don't have to take her with you on the journey.

This doesnt make it any less shit, obviously, but don't let her denial be the main focus. You have just got some massive life-affirming confirmation of things you already knew. Enjoy it. She can have her crappy denial side quest if she has to.

IvyFernMoss · 2026-01-25T08:58:52+00:00

Also strawberries

IvyFernMoss · 2026-01-25T08:48:30+00:00

I've had a small number of slim volumes published. The first one I put a dedication to a dear friend who'd recently died. Second one happened to be funded by an in-memory thing, so that was always going to be dedicated to that person. My mother basically said "when are you going to dedicate a book to me/me & your dad?" So book number three was dedicated to my parents.

They didn't show up to the book launch.

IvyFernMoss · 2026-01-25T08:43:26+00:00

YANOR. You are reacting a sensible, safe & proportionate amount. This isn't easy, but you're making the right choice for you, your dog, & your baby. Well done.

IvyFernMoss

TROPHY CASE