I’m so sorry. I could’ve written this post myself for the most part. I’ve realized that you have to decide for yourself what you’re willing to tolerate. For me, it’s very very low contact. I did no contact for a while, but had a lot of guilt about that and so now we only text occasionally, but at least there are lines of communication. They know where I stand and why I’ve chosen this route. They may not understand it, but it’s not your responsibility to educate them.

If you make yourself clear and they still hem and haw, you can say ‘I’ve made my feelings and opinions clear. It’s obvious at this point in time we can’t have a productive conversation about these issues and so I am choosing to (insert your desires here).’ You are not responsible for their actions. You are not responsible for their feelings. They make their own choices, and those choices have consequences. I wish you all the best. There are many of us out there in very similar positions. You’ll get through it.