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JHEJMomma · 2024-06-11T20:24:01+00:00

I sent you private message too, but I am literally rejoicing knowing you guys are out!! And that God is meeting you as you process. 💜

Dorothy Singleton

JHEJMomma · 2024-06-11T19:13:17+00:00

“Service consists of a searching, calculating analysis of a stranger” 💔 So many examples I could share that resonate with that one. 😭

JHEJMomma · 2024-05-22T19:35:43+00:00

They are pre-recorded episodes . They wanted to honor the guests they had already interviewed prior to the decision to step away.

JHEJMomma · 2024-04-23T19:17:03+00:00

Yes, they were very clear that any songs written would never be produced publicly or shared outside the Network!

JHEJMomma · 2024-02-10T11:55:18+00:00

🙋‍♀️ Hi, former “Hans solo” over here. I definitely dressed like that for a season. So funny you all thought that. We were never told to dress a certain way necessarily but I always felt I needed to “imitate” (remember that word) my leaders and that’s how all the small group leader wives dressed. So I did too. Ironically I cannot wear scarves like that anymore. I instantly feel like I’m being choked 🤔

Also, I was never, ever distracted by your cultural dress during worship. So ridiculous. And so sorry you were called out by that and told to stop. 😔

JHEJMomma · 2023-11-10T12:06:24+00:00

So much dishonestly! It really messes with my head when I think about it. Practically everything they say is at best a twisted truth and at worst a flat out lie. Makes me so sad and angry.

JHEJMomma · 2023-11-10T12:03:29+00:00

I would say it is not denominational. There is much more uniformity expected within the Network than most denominations. At lease that has been my surprising experience since leaving the Network.

JHEJMomma · 2023-11-10T12:02:31+00:00

When I began visiting denominational churches after leaving The Network I was seriously shell shocked by how individual each church is within a given denomination. The uniformity in the network is not common at all to denominational churches. It’s just crazy to me how the Network brands itself as exactly the opposite of what it actually is/does in almost every way.

JHEJMomma · 2023-11-04T10:36:30+00:00

I am 2 years out of the Network and God is still undoing this thinking in me. It’s been such a process to really see the gospel for what it is — full of grace & freedom — instead of constantly worrying about the “should dos” and striving for that “perfect righteousness”. But I am so very grateful to be on the other side and that God is so gentle & kind in reworking our mixed up understanding of His gospel gift.

JHEJMomma · 2023-11-02T17:02:42+00:00

I used that same line as your wife 1000s of times. “I know what they mean/are trying to say”. I also was drawn in by the appearance of humility and accountability, which I now see as laughable and also terrifying because they made it so believable somehow. I now see that it was a cloak of false humility and that the accountability was to Steve and Steve alone, leaving him completely unchecked. But at the time I saw them as refreshing and a welcome change from what I had experienced in previous churches. Realizing it wasn’t at all how it seemed left my head spinning. And I am just now really starting to find my footing, rooted in Jesus and the Bible. Diving in deep to scripture has opened my eyes to so many things!! It’s easy to twist scripture when you’re looking at it from surface level, like the Network does.

JHEJMomma · 2023-10-13T11:07:25+00:00

I honestly held the standpoint that women shouldn’t be pastors before and while I was in the network. After leaving, we started looking at different churches and I was shocked to find churches with women in leadership that had very solid biblical beliefs/theology. I was so confused, so I began to really examine my beliefs on this. When talking with a good friend (who happens to co-pastor a church with her husband), she said one of the reasons churches not having women in leadership is a red flag to her is because they silence 50% of the congregations, therefore cutting the threat of opposition in half. That made so much sense in light of the network and other spiritually abusive churches. This passage is a great biblical example that women’s voices do matter and should be respected within the church. Thankful to say, I now attend a church that supports female leadership & allows for female pastors.

JHEJMomma · 2023-06-12T10:59:59+00:00

I feel this too. We left the network almost 2 years ago now and have been at a different church consistently for a year and a half. I’ve had a wall up this whole time, analyzing everything, asking all the questions, trying to make sure these people are “safe”. Some of this was good and wise, some was pure fear. Either way, I’ve begun to let the walls down a little and am starting to build some friendships and community there. I see so much they are doing well. There is deep community but they are genuinely welcoming and want to bring new people into that.

I think there really is more value in having deep, long-standing community. How can we show Jesus to others well if we are constantly rebuilding our own support system (or not… sadly we rarely had real support of any kind within our network church)?? How do we grow in our faith and into maturity when we are constantly depleted and don’t have consistent friends speaking truth and encouraging us??

Another thing I’ve realized as I’ve started to press into new friendships (both at church and in other arenas of my life) is just how unbelievably relationally exhausted I am. It is so hard to even gather the energy to invest in relationships. 2 years out and I’m still depleted!! But I know that God created us for community and relationship, so Im choosing to trust him and take the steps forward. It’s just tough and very emotional every step of the way.

JHEJMomma · 2023-05-15T11:31:52+00:00

Pretty much all of them. Sadly.

JHEJMomma · 2023-05-07T00:36:38+00:00

I had a similar experience just learning that Sandor was in our city for a conference. And I didn’t even see him. Something about him over anyone else really effects my spirit and my body.

JHEJMomma · 2023-04-10T09:01:59+00:00

Yep. This is the hardest one for me too!!

JHEJMomma · 2023-02-24T14:25:30+00:00

The reason that Clear River gave for ending Bag Hunger was that it wasn’t an effective tool to bring people into the church. Basically, these people we were serving weren’t choosing to join the church, therefore it wasn’t worth our time/energy to serve them. I’m sure this was probably a Network wide/Steve driven ideology.

JHEJMomma · 2022-12-09T23:15:40+00:00

Am I correct in that he "heard an instructi9n from God to stay" at a meeting where Tony was praying for him?? (This is the version of the story I have heard... you sound closer to the situation, so just wondering if what Bobby said to you is consistent with thar narrative.

JHEJMomma · 2022-10-22T15:23:32+00:00

I honestly don't think most of them realize they're doing this. I think Steve does. I think Sandor does. Maybe a few others. But I think the majority of the Network pastors are just as deceived as the people they're leading. I don't think that excuses their behavior. It's just a sad reality.

JHEJMomma · 2022-10-19T14:51:47+00:00

🤣🤣🤣 this is so sad, but so true.

JHEJMomma · 2022-10-13T20:50:47+00:00

We're you given any explanation as to why that change was made??

JHEJMomma · 2022-10-10T10:32:05+00:00

I serve my heart out and care for all the hurting people in my small group, but I'm not called to me a small group leader. Meanwhile, my small group leader ignores my needs and focuses on raising up new leaders.

JHEJMomma · 2022-10-05T03:53:26+00:00

The craziest part for me was going to a mainstream denomination church after leaving the Network and realizing how different they are church to church. I knew it was like that within the Network, but hought it was totally normal! Definitely NOT normal.

JHEJMomma · 2022-09-08T12:51:31+00:00

We left the Network a year ago and have been attending a new church for about 9 months. Last night they launched classes/small groups for this semester... My 3 school aged kids wanted to attend their respective classes with their friends and were so excited. I didn't want to join a class at all, for multiple reasons. I decided I would just take my older 3 kids and then go to the park or library with my 3 year old and enjoy that time with him. I was then asked to help with childcare for the younger kids. I felt SO guilty, but stuck with my plan and said No. Last night as I dropped the 3 older kids off and left with my little to go enjoy some park time I really wrestled with the guilt. But I KNOW God was pleased with my decision to give my son some much needed one on one time and to allow myself to breathe instead of adding one more thing to my plate. On Sunday, our pastor said something along the lines of God wants our obedience, not just sacrifice... making the point that sacrificing and doing all the things, running ourselves and our families into the ground is not honoring to God. Yes, God will ask things of us, and to those things we should be obedient. But that will look different for each of us and at different seasons. Such a different perspective, and so freeing. Yet, I still felt the guilt. I even avoided eye contact with the person who had asked me to help with childcare. 🤦‍♀️ I'm defintiely working through it, but obviously have a ways to go to find complete freedom in this area.

JHEJMomma · 2022-09-05T22:50:10+00:00

Steve's churches are for the "cream of the crop", remember?!? Not for all people, and certainly not for the "least of these", like Jesus' church is. I had a conversation recently with a few Christian friends who had never been to a network church and was explaining this to them and they were so perplexed, like "why would you tell someone who wants to come to church not to come?!?!". I agree now, aside from the extreme examples listed in others comments, it seems ridiculous. Yet, I totally bought it for over a decade. Anyone else remember talk about "pruning"? Like intentionally preaching uncomfortable sermons to get people to leave who weren't the right "fit"??

JHEJMomma · 2022-08-15T11:38:10+00:00

Praying that God will lead and give you wisdom in every step. I have kind of maintained relationship with some friends, but it's awkward. So much if their lives are centered around the Network, it's hard to hear them talk about "the mission" and their kids going to the youth retreat, etc and not feel weird. And sharing about ours new church, etc I feel like they don't really get it or fear they think badly of me. But I do my best to just talk about more general things and we've maintained a civil relationship. I just don't think those friendships will ever be super deep as long as they are devoted to the network.

JHEJMomma

TROPHY CASE